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 Steve
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steve jobs
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a वृत्त that had its two sides gently compressed द्वारा a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When आप sleep over never boss me around in बिस्तर unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If आप don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” या “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If आप want sex, just ask. (In case आप didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with और than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are आप busy?" या "Are आप doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all दिन but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here आप go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here द्वारा my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes आप make me so mad i wanna throw आप in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style आप wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at आप trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can किस a guy* a bird can किस a butterfly* the rising sun can किस the grass* but आप my friend!! yes you!! आप CAN किस MY ASS*******

If आप didn't have feet आप wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do आप wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for आप %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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posted by मिलोरोक्स18
44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make आप tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are आप remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with आप when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves आप more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her फ्रेंड्स say i प्यार her और than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If आप have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your फ्रेंड्स come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary फ्रेंड्स that आप ask their opinion of everything.

7. After आप have your bath, लपेटें a bath towel around आप and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary फ्रेंड्स that आप talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If आप want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while पूर्व and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask आप somethingand i want आप to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how आप feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want आप to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi या Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by xxXsk8trXxx
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog खाना is a beautiful thing to watch when आप are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when आप sleeeeeep.

13. Bye कहा Santa while eating Blitzen.
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped द्वारा terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds चुरा लिया it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket चुरा लिया it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall दीवार and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 सेकंड्स and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten मिनट intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people आप can get to शामिल होइए in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department द्वारा sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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I got this from the joke app I have. Well, enjoy!

25 facts of life
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.
2. आप will never find anybody who can give आप a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-saving time.
3. People who feel the need to tell आप that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling आप that they have no sense of humor.
4. The most valuable function performed द्वारा the federal government is entertainment.
5. आप should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests आप think she's pregnant unless आप can see an...
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Man: Where have आप been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen आप someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this सीट empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if आप sit down.

Man: Your place या mine?
Woman: Both. आप go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do आप do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: हे baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do आप like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF आप DON'T PASS THIS ON आप DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All दिन long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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