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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    A king size water-bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
•    If आप spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
•    A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
•    If आप hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing बैटमैन underwear and a सुपरमैन cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 द्वारा 20 foot room.
•    You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling प्रशंसक is on. A ceiling प्रशंसक can hit a baseball a long way.
•    The glass in windows (even double pane) will not stop a baseball hit द्वारा a ceiling fan.
•    When आप hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it is too late.
•    Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke. Lots of smoke.
•    A six साल old can start a आग with a flint rock even though a 36 साल old man says they can only do it in the movies.
•    Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four साल old.
•    Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
•    Super glue is forever.
•    No matter how much Jell-O आप put in a swimming pool आप still can't walk on water.
•    Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
•    VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials दिखाना they do.
•    Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
•    Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
•    You probably do not want to know what that odour is.
•    Always look in the ओवन before आप turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
•    The आग department in Austin, TX has a 5 मिनट response time.
•    The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
•    It will however make बिल्ली dizzy.
•    Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten मिनट intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people आप can get to शामिल होइए in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department द्वारा sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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added by Rodz
Source: wallpaperstock
posted by boomerlover
Impossible to Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor द्वारा floor, and once आप find what आप are looking for, आप can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling आप what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The फ्रेंड्स laugh and without hesitation...
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posted by brooki
Well ... yea. Just thought these were cool. Like applesauce.

I'm kind of obessed with you. I hope आप realize how inconvient that is.

Don't be jealous cause I'm a ninja!

Good फ्रेंड्स don't let आप do stupid things ... alone.

Don't make me call my flying monkeys!

Math illeteracy effects 8 out of every 5 people.

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

Do not make me throw a possum at your face.

Automatic doors make me feel like a JEDI.

AWW! THAT IS SO CUTE! आप actually think I care :)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... No.

If आप met my family, you'd understand.

HAHA. Wait, what?

We're so cool ice cubes are jealous.

"Hey, guess what?" "No."

Comments DISPARSE! did I use that right ... ? :/
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up द्वारा गाना समुद्र तट Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death Eater meetings and say आप taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10....
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
20 Things To Do In A Drive Through Lane

1. Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.

2. Drive through backwards.

3. Belch your order.

4. After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.

5. Barter. Offer a Whopper for a Big Mac.

6. Walk through.

7. Speak a foreign language (make one up if आप have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty...
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"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT तारीख, दिनांक IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
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posted by Fangirl99
another monday,at waysway high school. Vanessa for hated school for mainly for 1 reason. susan.katie.ashlee.the meanest,popular,and prettiest girls in the school.they always taunt vanessa for being different. people thought ashe was different for her personality,but,that wasnt the only reason.
there was only one girl who didnt care if she was different.kylie.kylie was the smartest gilr in school,thats why she got made fun of. she was a nerd. though she had no braces,gloasses,or anything.in fact,vanessa thought kylie was prettier than susan,ashle,or katie.
People think they know vanessa,but,they dont,not yet. she had a very terrible,scary,and strange experiance.when आप hear it,it may seem like a dream,but,its all true.its not a lie.its not a tall tale.its a true story. 100% true
this the satory of Vanessa Colorado.
posted by Dethklokrox90
Dear Mark,

I wish I could say sorry या प्यार आप more, but I can't no more...
I can only leave आप with my ring and this last letter.
I have लॉस्ट myself and don't try to call me या come to me, I am dead now.
I only wish that I could come back to आप and say my apologies, but I a saying that for letting me go.
Please keep this a secret and the ring, cause if आप let it go, bad things could happen.
Don't even try to sell your soul to save me, please don't...
Just keep me secret from everyone, I want everyone to be calm and remember that I will always be there...
and आप too Mark, I will always be there, in your heart, and in my others.
आप will have your own life, everything आप wanted with you.
आप will have a wife, kids, a mansion, and die in your warm बिस्तर when your old, knowing that आप did a good life.
Remember that ok Mark.
I प्यार you, I प्यार आप so much...


~Reah
My friend, Pie-102, and I wrote this last year. It it definatly random.



On the first दिन of क्रिस्मस my true प्यार gave to me, a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the सेकंड दिन of क्रिस्मस my true प्यार gave to me, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the third दिन of क्रिस्मस my true प्यार gave to me, three moving signs, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the fourth दिन of क्रिस्मस my true प्यार gave to me, four suburban trucks, पेड़ moving signs, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush
On the fifth दिन of Cristmas my true love...
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Me: okay i actually found this story in my local newspaer from 20 years back. And i'll put a symbol for town names. I don't want rapists या pheaodifiles coming to my town... okay lets begin. And i shall have to give some background history. Well at there was a renovation going on at $ which was between # and &, for an old mental asylum to be converted into a power house musuem. Anyway so this story takes place then. I think i'm not sure of dates.
$ was a small town, very small as in like only three -5 thousande people
ps. द्वारा the way i really wanted a long title


okay so in Australia out in...
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posted by Yama
I went into my room after being लॉस्ट in thought. It was only then I felt the sea sickness. Well I was out on the deck for a little too long. Okay now I certainly knew that was a really bad idea. I went for a शावर, शॉवर to see if the heat would shrug off the sickness. I got out of the शावर, शॉवर feeling fresh, but also funny. I heard Emily in my room. I shouted," Emily I'll be right there!"
I heard her calling back,"Okay!". I got into my new dress for I knew रात का खाना was soon. I may as well put it on now rather than having to do it later, i thought. I seen Emily she was dressed for रात का खाना too. She was...
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I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping गाड़ी and switch the items with stuff from the person अगला to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen आप in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of आप on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...
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posted by Saturnluv39
It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach आप all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.

2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.

example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay

example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray

Now आप know how to do it!
Now, if आप want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and दिखाना your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you

enter your translation results, and if आप win, आप get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If आप are a winner check everything on your profile.
Mysterious love

-chapter five-

As we were walking down the stairs too the lunch room he said"So how was पढ़ना and math?"
"Boring"I कहा he kinda smiled and कहा "Well..." but trailed off
I was going too ask why when rebecca came up and looked at us she sort of examined us ,I guess is a better word.She said"June do आप no if the librarian has a nother copy of that geometertry book I need it for something?"I just कहा "Umm I dont think she has one" When mathew कहा "I bet i have a copy at home,you can borrow"
I looked at him wondering why he was पढ़ना it in the पुस्तकालय when i came in too look...
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Just decided to write something random! My first लेख so टिप्पणी दे if आप want!!! या not!


Why am I लेखन this?
Why is it hot या cold?
Why is the sky blue?
Why, I don't know!
Why does sound so corny?
Why is your name your name?
Why are goldfish orange?
Why is फैन्पॉप fanpop?
Why is this random?
Why are your panrents your panrents?
Why do we like pie/cake?
Why don't we like pie/cake?
Why are there glasses?
Why do we have 10 toes/fingers?
Why do we eat?
Why do we have clothes?
why why why plz tell me why.
I laughed so hard when I read this and I just had to share it

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. "Hey, are आप busy?" या "Are आप doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all दिन but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're going to say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile when they’re...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus