1. Unplug the refrigerator.
2. Turn the ओवन on.
3. Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4. Hide the remote.
5. Hide the television.
6. Hide the pets.
7. Change the answering machine message.
8. Turn off the answering machine.
9. Change the speed dial numbers.
10. Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11. Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12. Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13. Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14. See how much pay-per-view porn आप can order in one day.
15. Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16. Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17. Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18. Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a चित्र of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19. Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20. Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21. Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22. Replace दीवार चित्रो with चित्रो of someone else's family.
23. Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24. Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25. Paint their bathrooms black.
26. Paint their mirrors black.
27. Paint their windows black.
28. Nail their windows shut.
29. Put a skeleton in a closet.
30. Stuff a तकिया with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31. Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32. Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33. Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34. Fill every glass in the रसोई, रसोईघर cabinet with water. (They might not spill the सेकंड या third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35. Turn off the phone ringers.
36. Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and टेलीविज़न volume set to maximum.
37. Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38. Grease the banisters.
39. Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40. Put a rubber अचार in the अचार jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell आप what phone number to include, but why don't आप figure it out?)
41. Call for खाना delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42. Make urine ice cubes.
43. Pee in the shampoo.
44. Take the book jackets off the hardcover पुस्तकें and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book आप purchased previously at a dollar store. If आप can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45. Unscrew the light bulbs.
46. Hide the toilet paper.
47. Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48. Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49. Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as आप can.
50. Plant weeds in the flowerpots.
By: Jason Roth
2. Turn the ओवन on.
3. Rearrange the furniture. (Turn a bedroom into a dining room, and vice versa.)
4. Hide the remote.
5. Hide the television.
6. Hide the pets.
7. Change the answering machine message.
8. Turn off the answering machine.
9. Change the speed dial numbers.
10. Change the alarm clock time to twelve hours earlier.
11. Add an extra goldfish to the goldfish bowl.
12. Leave a condom wrapper under a sofa cushion.
13. Make yourself a meal. Be polite and wash the dishes.
14. See how much pay-per-view porn आप can order in one day.
15. Set the TiVo to record nothing but infomercials.
16. Leave a note on their computer that says "Thanks for the files."
17. Leave a note anywhere that says "I'll be back."
18. Leave a note listing a website address. Set up a website and post a चित्र of yourself sitting on their toilet. (Don't forget to wear a ski mask.)
19. Replace a crucifix with Mickey Mouse.
20. Install video surveillance equipment. Leave a tape of yourself installing it.
21. Paint "Helter Skelter" on a wall.
22. Replace दीवार चित्रो with चित्रो of someone else's family.
23. Replace products with similar products of a different brand. If they own Heinz ketchup, replace it with Hunt's. If they own Tide laundry detergent, replace it with All.
24. Tie a nylon string across each doorway at shin level.
25. Paint their bathrooms black.
26. Paint their mirrors black.
27. Paint their windows black.
28. Nail their windows shut.
29. Put a skeleton in a closet.
30. Stuff a तकिया with live crickets. (Available at your local pet store.)
31. Hang dead things from the ceiling.
32. Wrap a miscellaneous animal organ in aluminum foil and leave it in the freezer.
33. Empty the sugar container and replace it with Sweet & Low.
34. Fill every glass in the रसोई, रसोईघर cabinet with water. (They might not spill the सेकंड या third glasses, but fill them all anyway.)
35. Turn off the phone ringers.
36. Leave the stereo, alarm clock, and टेलीविज़न volume set to maximum.
37. Exchange the contents of two clothing drawers.
38. Grease the banisters.
39. Leave counterfeit paw prints up a wall, ending at a ceiling vent.
40. Put a rubber अचार in the अचार jar. Replace the jar's label with a label identical in every way except for the phone number for complaints. (I could tell आप what phone number to include, but why don't आप figure it out?)
41. Call for खाना delivery. Repeat two dozen times quickly before leaving.
42. Make urine ice cubes.
43. Pee in the shampoo.
44. Take the book jackets off the hardcover पुस्तकें and put them around multiple copies of the same cheap book आप purchased previously at a dollar store. If आप can get copies of a book with blank pages, even better.
45. Unscrew the light bulbs.
46. Hide the toilet paper.
47. Put their possessions into piles based on color.
48. Make a bathtub full of iced tea.
49. Bring in a small, battery-powered recording device. Turn it on and play a looping recording of a young girl whispering, "Jesus is coming." Unscrew a ceiling vent and throw it in as far as आप can.
50. Plant weeds in the flowerpots.
By: Jason Roth
क्वीन Heenim is a member of Fanpop. She's a big प्रशंसक of Maruko. She's a writer on a website named Wattpad.
क्वीन Heenim is a great friend. She's always been very polite, sweet, and a good person. She knows how to make her फ्रेंड्स happier when they're not in that great of a mood. She cares a lot about her फ्रेंड्स and she works really hard to help them out.
Her लेखाए and Haikus are really good. They have a lot of emotion in them. Her लेखाए and Haikus have a special feeling of care and sweetness. It's a treat to read her work. I recommend her लेखाए and Haikus.
Thank आप क्वीन Heenim for being a wonderful person, friend, writer, and फैन्पॉप member. It's an honor to be one of your friends.
क्वीन Heenim is a great friend. She's always been very polite, sweet, and a good person. She knows how to make her फ्रेंड्स happier when they're not in that great of a mood. She cares a lot about her फ्रेंड्स and she works really hard to help them out.
Her लेखाए and Haikus are really good. They have a lot of emotion in them. Her लेखाए and Haikus have a special feeling of care and sweetness. It's a treat to read her work. I recommend her लेखाए and Haikus.
Thank आप क्वीन Heenim for being a wonderful person, friend, writer, and फैन्पॉप member. It's an honor to be one of your friends.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Car Stereotypes
There are many different types of cars for many different types of people. Observe.
Audi
Man: *Driving a black A6 at 80 miles an घंटा down the highway* Get out of the fucking way!!! *Pushes a Cadillac off the road*
Woman: *Crashes into a tree* Maniac!
Man: *Tailgating a Jaguar that is actually going the speed of 55* Come on, don't आप know what the speed is?! *Honks the horn* Let's go!! *Honks again* I don't have time for this!! *Bumps into the Jaguar, and makes it crash...
Because why not, right?
1. My प्रिय foods are dill pickles and potatoes.
2. I do not like coffee. या tea.
3. I can't think of a joint in my body I don't crack on a daily basis.
4. I प्यार प्यार प्यार प्यार retro advertising, mostly from 80s and down. It makes me feel very nostalgic.
5. I have been dying my hair since I was a young teenager.
6. My प्रिय रंग are brown, purple and gray.
7. I consider myself a contrarian.
8. I lived in England for 6 months when I was 4 years old.
9. I suffer from all manner of link.
10. My humor is so dry and sharp, my own parents can't tell when I'm joking or...
continue reading...
1. My प्रिय foods are dill pickles and potatoes.
2. I do not like coffee. या tea.
3. I can't think of a joint in my body I don't crack on a daily basis.
4. I प्यार प्यार प्यार प्यार retro advertising, mostly from 80s and down. It makes me feel very nostalgic.
5. I have been dying my hair since I was a young teenager.
6. My प्रिय रंग are brown, purple and gray.
7. I consider myself a contrarian.
8. I lived in England for 6 months when I was 4 years old.
9. I suffer from all manner of link.
10. My humor is so dry and sharp, my own parents can't tell when I'm joking or...
