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posted by candylover246
God i have no idea why i decided to go through with this but zanhar told me to to write a Pinkie/Rarity crackfic so here i am. This is probably the stupidest thing i've done and i'm most likely gonna regret doing this thing the सेकंड i प्रकाशित करे it but i can't back down now so just take this cringe-fic.



*once upon a time in Ponyville*

It was a lovely nice beautiful दिन in horse town and Pinkie Pie was skipping in the streets because she can't walk normally until a बिना सोचे समझे gay thought suddenly popped up in her गुलाबी head.

"I heard from somewhere that 1 in each group of फ्रेंड्स is gay", Pinkie कहा out loud. "I hope it's Rarity, because Rarity's cute!" And with that she went to the marshmallow's 10-story house.

Rarity was eating raw onions (the ones with layers, the real kind™) until suddenly,,,

"RARITY!!!11! I RLY LIEK UR H0RN!!!34!52!!!"
Pinkie π bust through Rarity's house and made a huuuuuge hole on the wall.

link Rarity कहा when she saw her house get rekt द्वारा the गुलाबी horse.
"PINKIE U PIG GO DIE!!!!"

"OMG!!11!!" Pinkie yelled. "HOW CAN U TELL ME THAT, THAT'S SO MEAN!!!"

*sad violin music*

*Pinkie cries*

*Pinkie sobs*

"U JUST CALLED ME A PIG!!!295!1!"

Pinkie's wet blue watery tears were all the way up to Rarity's long giraffe neck so she said: "OK I;M SORRY JUST ST0P CRYING oMG!!!!"

Pinkie stopped crying and suddenly all the tears disappeared because that's how कार्टून work.

"Rarity go out with me!!!"

"Y?"

"Because I just realized I'm gay 4 u and i want to be और than friendship with u!"

"............"

"PLEAASEEEE!!"

"BUT Pinky I'm straight-"

"LOOOOL no ur not no one's straight in dis show"

"Wat? This wat?"

"This show! Did i tell u i can break the 4th दीवार 2????//??"

"I'm confuzed what r we talking about??!!!"

"Rarity I 'like like' u & it's real pls be my girlfriend / marefriend / fillyfriend!" ((however tf u say it in this stupid दिखाना i give up))

"But why ME out of everypony??? Y not Fluttershy, Dash, AJ, या even Twinerd?????"

"Lol idk"

"And y shud i listen to u?!"

Pinkie: 🙏 🙇 🙏 🙇

"hOW DID U DO THAT????" Rarity asked in shocked shock as Pinkie begun speaking in the art of emojis.

Pinkie: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"eEEEEEEEK OMG!!!" Rarity squealed and THEN..
"Pinkie I might actually consider going out with u becuz of that but nah becuz u also make some of the ugliest faces sumtimes and I don't like ugly faces becuz I might catch the uglee."

"O pleeese! When have I EVER made an uglee face??/??/?"

"THIS! THIS horrendous face rite here!!"



"HEEEY that"s rude! R u calling our पूर्व generations ugly?! R u calling our past reincarnations ugly?!?!"

"oK oK bad example मांद, डेन how about THIS:"



"And THIS 2:"



Pinky said: "O so u think this iz a muthrfcking gaem HUH???" WELL in link rite here it looks liek u bust a n-"

link

"OMG we're getting off track again becuz this stupid लेखक can't even write a crackfic rite!!!"

Rarity begun to think her गुलाबी 'friend' needed psychologist help because she cray but for now: "Ok u kno wat I just had a flashback within a flashback within a flashback and realized that our रंग are v good 4 shipping purposes and that I am NOT in fact straight so yes I will go out with u Pinkie."

"YAAAAAAAAAY!! I'm so glad u realized ur closet feelings & that u won't be chasing after the (VERY few) male घोड़े anymore, especially dat one other white unicorn with the tiny d-"

"PINKIE!!11!!"

"UHH.. I meant HORN! DUH!!"

Rarity rolled her eyes so hard she saw her brain, and then said: "So from now I declare everyhorse to call us RariPie!"

"N0,, Pinkity!! The bronies will like it better & it's moar danker!!!!"

"Whatevr idc ok!"

"Hay so now that we're 2gether 5ever u wanna see Twinerd's strange squid collection??!11??"

"zOMG yea!"

Pinkie showed her: link
And SOMEHOW Rarity managed to see that.

"ROFLMFAO LOLOLOL" Rarity snorted.

They both laughed so hard till they threw up and their bellies hurt.

And with that Pinkie x Rarity became a thing and everypony in the town knew and everyone supported it without ANY shipping wars from the bronies and they all lived ok until the whole town mysteriously exploded 3 days later but that's another story 4 later.

THE END
posted by Seanthehedgehog
We left off on the fight between bronies, and haters

Hater 54: *sets up MG*
Sean: *shoots haters*
Security guard: Stop the fighting!
Hater 54: *kills guard*
Sean: Enemy machine gun! Take cover
bronies: *hide behind wall*
Hater 54: *shoot at wall* Penetrate!!
Sean: *kills machine gunner* All clear!
bronies: *advance*
Jade: We got enemies with RPG's!
Hater 402: *shoots missile*
Sean: *runs from missile*
Hater 635: *shoots at Jade*
Jade: *shoots missile*
Hater 635: *dies from explosion*
Sean: *kills other मिसाइल carrying haters*
Brony 64: Let's हटाइए up!

We moved up a floor, and got introduced to 50 haters wanting...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
5 days later in caferia...
Dimitri - *enter caferia... *sits in empety table*
Dan - *teleport on chair and speed sit* *smile* suprised...
Dimitri - rly... आप live...
Dan - yup...
Dimitri - what आप want... I left GEA halfyer ago
Dan - I know... *show picture of Tulip* know that mare...
Dimitri - no...
Dan - oh she famous in Russia...
Dimitri - *grab gun*
Dan - ...
Dimitri - *pick gun to Dan head* fuck you...
Dan- ... bad chose *teleport*
Dimitri - *shoot*
Dan - *teleport behaind Dimitri and grab him*... आप suck in fighting like always...
Dimitri - SHUT UP!
Mare - RUN CALL POLICE!!!!!
Stalion - I DO THIS
Dan...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
I was just driving to Los Angeles, which was a very long way from where I was now. Peekskill New York. I stopped here to visit my cousins, and aunt Laura.

Hater 24: हे isn't that the guy our team tried to get 2 days ago?
Hater 532: It is. Let's get him!
Sean: *hears haters & drives faster*
Hater 24: All units listen up! We found Sean Bodine, driving a 2012 Toyota Camry! License plate is GRE-33K
Hater leader: Alright! Permission to shoot on sight.
Sean: *weaving through traffic*
Hater 532: *grabs gun*
Sean: *turns off highway*
Hater 24: *follows*
Hater 532: *shoots back window*
Hater 48: Joining...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
I escaped the haters, but now I had to turn around, and go to Frenchtown.

Mom: *calls me*
Sean: Hello?
Mom: What happened at your house?
Sean: Some guys tried to kill me, and murdered my dad.
Mom: I can see that. I want आप in Frenchtown, at my place now!
Sean: On my way. I should be there in 20 minutes.

I made it into Frenchtown, but I wasn't sure how to tell my mom who was trying to kill me.

Mom: So what did आप do after your father died?
Sean: I escaped.
Mom: How? They were at the front door.
Sean: Does it matter how?! I escaped!!
Mom: ANSWER MY QUESTION!
Sean: I climbed out of my बिस्तर room window....
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It was a regular दिन in St. Foalis, and then every leader of the mafias except Dan drove up toward a train yard.

L.P leader: We are dealing with a gang that can destroy any of us.
Fillydelphia leader: Twilight Sparkle is working with them.
Baltimare leader: She's the one we have to kill then.
L.P. leader: And Dan. There's also a grey hedgehog with them.
Fillydelphia leader: Let's kill all three of them then.

The meeting was over. And the Ponyville mafia was relaxing at their place.

Sean: *drinking soda*
Rainbow Dash: *farts on chair* A whoopee cushion? PINKIE PIE!!!!!
Pinkie Pie: *laughing* Wow!...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con ran toward the boats, and when he started one of them the koreans caught up.

Con: *sticks blade toward them*
koreans: *stand still*
Con: What आप might call, a sharp edge on things. *drives away*
koreans: After him!
Con: Come on, why is this thing going slower?
filly: Hello sir.
Con: Hi.
filly: Would आप like a wooden elephant? I hand crafted it myself.
Con: I'll tell आप what. आप make this नाव go faster, and I'll pay आप for it.
filly: Really? How much?
Con: Nothing *pushes filly off boat*
Constaple Weston B. River: I hate China.
Constaple's wife: Come on Weston, we just got here.
Con: *drives...
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hi everypony,its me jordy dash.unfortunatley my i pad charger broke so no आग dash: series D; im दिल broken as im लेखन this on xbox and it sucks.this may be my last thing for sometime so if आप ask me anything itll be rare for me to reply,before i log out i want to thank everypony here,thanks jordy dash aka jordan signing out ); i need to extend this to publiso heres pimkie lolololololololololololllllllllllllllllllllllooooooolllllooooooooooooooooooollllllllllooooooooooooooolllllllllllll
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con was stuck on the cable car, as it was heading toward some ponies that wanted him dead.

Fenix: Con! On here!
korean pony77: *shoots at helicopters*
Con: Get outta here, I have something else in mind *jumps off cable car*
Rareesa: Con!!
Con: *teleports at Rareesa's house* oh jeez.

Koreans, and swedish ponies were at Rareesa's house. They had no idea Con was there, so he got in his car, and left just when he got a phone call

Con: Hello?
P: Where are you?
Con: Making sure S's equipment doesn't get stolen. Discord is dead, but I gotta go find Rareesa.
Rareesa: *appears in Con's car* Drive as fast as...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
korean pony86: Intruders!
swedish pony48: It's the germans!
Fenix: Con, get on ze machine gun.
Con: *gets on MG, & shoots enemies*
swedish pony66: We need a rocket launcher!
swedish pony23: Here! *gets bazooka*
Con: *destroys bazooka*
german pony35: We have to land.
Fenix: Then do it.

All three choppers landed on the base, and all 15 ponies stormed out.

Fenix: Con, through this way!
Con: I'm right behind you.
swedish ponies: *fire at germans*
germans: *fire at swedish*
Con: *shoots enemy* Whoops! Forgot it was on automatic. *reloads*
Rareesa: I'll cover you. *shoots two enemies*
korean ponies: You...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The three ponies went for a walk toward a स्कीइंग resort. Rareesa lives in a really cool part of town, literally.

Fenix: I have some soldiers stationed द्वारा here. They'll be able to get us from here to Discord's base.
Con: Alright, in the mean time the three of us can go skiing.
Koreans: *arrive on snowmobiles*
Fenix: या not.
Con: Go get those soldiers, we'll cover you!
korean pony62: Hello आप two.
Rareesa: Hi.
korean pony62: Don't think about running, because we are getting help from sweden.
Con: आप need all the help आप can get to stop us. *shoots korean pony* Take his snowmobile!
Rareesa: *leaves...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
 Con's new Chevronet Corvette
Con's new Chevronet Corvette
Con reported at P's office.

Con: I got your call, what's Discord up to now?
P: He is now trying to kill agents from various organizations.
Con: He must have a सूची with him.
P: He does. His first three targets are you, Fenix Lighter, and Rareesa.
Con: Really? Couldn't he kill some other pony?
P: He will, after he kills आप three.
Con: *sighs* I'm on it. Should I see S before I leave?

The answer was yes.

S: Hello 0007.
Con: Hi S, what do आप have for me?
S: Glad आप asked, because it will blow you, and your enemies away.
Con: A मिसाइल shooting car?
S: Precisely, Chevronet Corvette with machine guns,...
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Mike: Who do we have to deal with?
Rainbow Dash: I found out another टट्टू has been feeding info about our work to other mafias.
Dan: Who is it?
Rainbow Dash: Diamond Tiara.
Dan: I should have known.
Applejack: Let's kill her.
Rainbow Dash: Alright, but we have to do it before she leaves for Ponyville.
Applejack: Then lets kill her now, the sooner the better.

Applejack pulled up to Diamond Tiara's house with Pinkie Pie sitting in the back.

Silverspoon: We're moving back the same time that the CMC is.
Diamond Tiara: I cannot wait to make fun of them again.
Applejack: Howdy आप two.
Diamond Tiara:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Pinkie was forced to find the treasure for Derpy & Octavia, who just formed another pirate crew.

Pinkie Pie: This is fake. आप just had Twilight hypnotize some ponies.
Octavia: Not all of them. How much further?
Pinkie Pie: Oh, I don't know.. *runs away*
Derpy: *shoots gun twice*
Octavia: Hold your fire. There's no way she can escape.

But she did. इंद्रधनुष Dash flew to the rescue, and got her friend off the island.

Pinkie Pie: Danke इंद्रधनुष Dash.
Rainbow Dash: Now I see why they threatened to kill you.
Pinkie Pie: What does my german have to do with it?
Sean: Lets stop complaining. We're close...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the captain's quarters

Sean: WHO HIRED THIS CREW?!!? This is the most bloodthirsty, motherfucking fucked up crew I've ever seen so who hired them?
Everypony: *points at Pinkie*
Pinkie: *points at Gummie*
Sean: Your pet alligator hired the crew?
Pinkie: What? No, that's silly. The टट्टू that lives in Gummie hired the crew.
Sean: headless ponies, and one that lives in a baby alligator. My god.
Derpy: Isn't it My Celestia?
Sean: Not where I'm from.
Derpy: Where are आप from?
Sean: Mobius. It's another planet, which I placed into yours.
Pinkie: So आप created Equestrius.
Sean: Pretty much.

Later that...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
where we done... oh RPG

Dan - *shoot* *missed* demn it
Vinyl - Wach Out!!
2 Helicopters come from clounds
Russian Pilot - Its me Dimitri Dan... Shadow call me
Dan - THX Shadow
Shadow - No problem. EVERYPONY TO HOPTER
Evrypony go to helicopter
Dimitri - Long Time dont see friends
Dan - yup... its about 10 yers?
Shadow - 11 yers... and 5 hours
Dan - hahahahahahahaha yea
Dimitri - everypony ok
Fluttershy - Im hurt in leg
Twilight - let me see it
Dan - Where Yuri ?
Yuri - In another helicopter
Dan - oh ok
From sky come missle and hit Yuri helicopter
Yuri - IM HIT... FUCK...
Yuri helicopter falling into Canterlot
Yuri...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The captain Pinkie Pie was talking about soon arrived in a blue muscle car. That car was a 1969 Chevrolet Corvette.

Rainbow Dash: Is it really?
Sean: Hello everypony.
Bonbon: That's the captain?
Lyra: He's a hedgehog.
Sean: When I was told about this treasure hunt I had to get involved, and Pinkie Pie allowed me to be captain.
Rainbow Dash: Well at least Pinkie was right about the "Can get us out of every situation" part.
Tourists: Ok lets get on. We will see some ponies reenact a crew that got money off an island.
Rainbow Dash: ?
Pinkie Pie: Now that our entire crew is here. Let us set sail.

The...
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30 मिनटों later, The Mane six were all sitting in a वृत्त at Twilight's library. Pinkie Pie, who always had a smile on her face, was now with a frown, crying.

AJ: Am sorry guys...
Rarity: Darling, maybe there's a way to fix this!
AJ: Its too late Rarity. Now, the सेब farm belongs to Flim and Flam
Pinkie: *sniff* Please dont leave us AJ!
AJ: *hugs Pinkie* Ah need to.
Twilight: What about the elements?
AJ: *shrugs* Ah dont know...If something bad happens, just give me a call, and Ah'll arrive in a train 72 hours later.
RD: Those sons of Mare!
Fluttershy: *tear rolls* We are really going to miss you....
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It was a glorious दिन in Ponyville. Twilight was पढ़ना some books, इंद्रधनुष Dash was practicing some new stunts, Pinkie was Celebrating a Colt's Birthday, Fluttershy was feeding her animals, Rarity was designing a new dress, and Applejack.....well, she was sitting on the घास meanwhile tears rolled down her face. Her sister AB, sat अगला to AJ with a frown.

AB: *hugs AJ* Isnt there anything we can do sis?
AJ: *sigh* Am afraid not sis. *looks up* Its already too late...
AB: Even though the contract expired, we can still fix it!
AJ: Ah wish we could. *sniff*
AB: Should.....we tell the others?
AJ:...
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 Secret of the Crystal Ponies
Secret of the Crystal Ponies
Twilight Sparkle and फ्रेंड्स wake up to a horrifying discovery. All of Equestria has turned into Murderous Crystal Ponies! They have to find a solution. They discover the horrible truth of how Crystal Ponies are made. Who should they trust? If they don't find a solution soon there might not be an Equestria left to save. But are they willing to do what it takes to find the solution?

Should I write this story? Please टिप्पणी दे on my दीवार या टिप्पणी दे down below if I should. If I write it and आप read it I will give आप a प्रॉप of you're choice and I will प्रशंसक you. Please tell me!
We now had to time travel to when King Sombra was making his time machine, and prevent it from being finished so none of this would happen. Discord's plan however would screw things up for us.

Sean: Are we clear?
Pinkie Pie: All clear!
Discord: *sets up rifle*
KS: Are आप sure about this?
Discord: I have a राइफल of course I'll kill him, and if I don't we'll send a team out there to kill him, and get the machine.
KS: Ok
Catie: I hope आप know what you're doing.
Discord: Of course *shoots rifle*
Sean: That nearly hit me!
Pinkie Pie: आप got a sniper, hurry!
Discord: Go! Kill them!

Communists were sent...
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