Which is a better opening paragraph for a my prologue for my story?

(I was लेखन this story on vampires: see सवाल द्वारा me below, and I'm doing a prologue....which one is better as the opening paragraph of the prologue. BTW its about the very first vampire born of hate and neglect...so tell me which one is better!! NOTE: this the 1st paragraph not the whole prologue...k? ask if u need और details! thanks for ur help, guyz n galz!)
*
I FORGOT TO ADD IN THE OPTIONS!! srry here they are!
cuteypuffgirl posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
*
OPTION 1: Bleak, wet, and dark. That was how to describe the floor that the woman sat on. Her feet were chained to a heavy padlock. Her face was pale and ghostly. Every bone of her body was visible only covered द्वारा the oh so thin layer of skin. She was clothed in dark robes. Frayed and old, she sat, her head against the cold, hard, dark brick walls surrounding her. She was trapped, alone, forgotten द्वारा many. There were tear tracks down her sullen face. Her eyes were watery and emotionless, although they were a very prominent color of blood red. The room was musty and lightless. It felt as if a piece of hell had situated itself inside a room. The woman’s dark hair fell in lumps onto the wet floor. Several live mice along with it. T She was a prisoner of despair. A prisoner of captivity. A prisoner of death.
cuteypuffgirl posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
*
OPTION 2: Bleak, wet and dark. That was how to describe the cellar that lay at the bottom of the house. It had no windows and only one heavily chained door. The walls were covered in dirty grime and aged paint. The floor was covered in even और grime and insects. There was no स्रोत of light anywhere. Everything was dark and atmosphere seemed depressing. Black rats scurried across the floor. There was nothing inside the dreary room except for a sitting figure in the dark. The figure lay sitting almost motionless. It was a young girl. Although it didn't resemble a girl at all. Her face was pale and sullen. It bore scratches and bloody gashes. Her untidy black hair fell down her back along with several live lice. Her eyes were watery and emotionless. Although they seemed to be the only part of her that looked alive. They were an unusual but very prominent shade of blood red. She wore nothing but an old, wet and moldy कुरती, फ्रॉक which had several holes and cuts through it. The girl’s skeleton was visible for she was as thin as paper. She sat with her hands covered in dirt and blood, saying nothing. Rats crawled over bare feet, blood and muck seeped down the cracks in the floor. The girl lay motionless, staring at nothing but the cold, bare ceiling. She was alone. She was defenseless. She was a prisoner of despair. There was nothing she could do about herself. Except wait and see what would happen.
cuteypuffgirl posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
*
K CHOOSE DA ONE U THINK IZ BETTER!!! THNKS!!
cuteypuffgirl posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
 cuteypuffgirl posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
next question »

लेखन जवाब

darkling_menace said:
I like the first one
select as best answer
posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
RiverIce said:
I प्यार both of them, but, try the first one, but add in the first one that rats climbed over her feet, and that her face was bloody, untidy hair, and live lice were crawling in it, so yeah use the first one but add some parts from the सेकंड over to it =W= looooovvvee it!
select as best answer
posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
next question »