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ever!!
1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a वृत्त that had its two sides gently compressed द्वारा a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes आप so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told आप to be yourself simply couldn’t have दिया आप worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t आप have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let आप mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are आप always this stupid या are आप making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like आप before – but I had to pay an admission.

If आप took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d प्यार to help आप out…now, which way did आप come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers आप know.
12.Strangers आप don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to मिटाइए above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him आप met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do आप listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him द्वारा his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your प्रिय guy[If आप hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson या some who आप like ALLOT!]

9. Come घर saying आप found your true...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by x-menobsessed26
There used to be a सड़क, स्ट्रीट named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle आप with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then आप can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the बीयर, बियर gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by bizeshnakarki
I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket या कोट if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub क्विज़ the other दिन I लॉस्ट द्वारा one point. The सवाल was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other सवालों was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that सेब has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing खरीडिए that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some बमवर्षक, बॉम्बर jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
Ghetto Names

Mostly लोकप्रिय with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming और common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us द्वारा our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service डेस्क and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid या a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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added by Usui--takumi
Source: गूगल
posted by Thecharliejay
Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If आप keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a सूची of "pros" and "cons" to help आप better understand why you're seeking प्यार या acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things आप can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...
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added by Sandfire_Paiger
Source: Tsitra360 on DeviantArt
added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by PaulInDaHood
added by Heartisalone
added by KateKicksAss