I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if आप do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.
Enjoy!
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6 Ways On How To Deal With शार्क Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
और than 99% of शार्क attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if आप are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that आप can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person अगला to आप with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as आप spot a shark- furiously stab the person अगला to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as आप can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every शार्क has a theme song. If आप here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a शार्क has got you. At this late stage आप are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the समुद्र तट do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
Enjoy!
__________________________________________________
6 Ways On How To Deal With शार्क Attacks:
1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
और than 99% of शार्क attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if आप are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.
2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there are always fat people in the water with you. Odds are that आप can swim faster than them- increasing your chances of escape.
3) SUNBLOCK
Replace the sunblock of the person अगला to आप with BBQ rib sauce.
4) DON'T GO INTO THE WATER WITHOUT A KNIFE
As soon as आप spot a shark- furiously stab the person अगला to you. As soon as he is bleeding proufusely- swim away as fast as आप can.
5) LISTEN CAREFULLY
Every शार्क has a theme song. If आप here the following- swim for your life: da-dam. da-dam. da-dam if it's fast like this: dadam, dadam, dadam- give up -you are already screwed.
6) DON'T PANIC
Stay calm if a शार्क has got you. At this late stage आप are screwed in any case- survival is not an option... The people on the समुद्र तट do not appreciate someone screaming & shouting like a lunatic- it just isn't pleasant -think of the children damnit!
Happy swimming! :D
