This is another chain mail I found, but this one is probably my favourite ever! I can laugh for hours, so enjoy =D
"These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are
things people actually कहा in court, word for word, taken down and published द्वारा court reporters. Just goes to दिखाना how bad the law profession has gotten.
ATTORNEY: Are आप sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were आप in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: आप forget? Can आप give us an example of something आप forgot?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband कहा to आप that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do आप know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: आप do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the अगला morning?
WITNESS: Did आप actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were आप present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are आप shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the तारीख, दिनांक of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were आप doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are आप for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: द्वारा death.
ATTORNEY: And द्वारा whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do आप suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can आप describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male या a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have आप performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would आप like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did आप go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do आप recall the time that आप examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the तालिका, टेबल wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are आप qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are आप qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before आप performed the autopsy, did आप check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did आप check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did आप check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when आप began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can आप be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my डेस्क in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."
"These are from a book called Disorder in the American courts, and are
things people actually कहा in court, word for word, taken down and published द्वारा court reporters. Just goes to दिखाना how bad the law profession has gotten.
ATTORNEY: Are आप sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were आप in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: आप forget? Can आप give us an example of something आप forgot?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband कहा to आप that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do आप know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: आप do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the अगला morning?
WITNESS: Did आप actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were आप present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are आप shittin' me?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the तारीख, दिनांक of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were आप doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh... I was getting laid.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are आप for real? Your Honour, I think I need a different
attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: द्वारा death.
ATTORNEY: And द्वारा whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do आप suppose terminated it?
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can आप describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male या a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have आप performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would आप like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did आप go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do आप recall the time that आप examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the तालिका, टेबल wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are आप qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are आप qualified to ask that question?
_________________________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before आप performed the autopsy, did आप check for a
pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did आप check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did आप check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when आप began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can आप be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my डेस्क in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."
So I talk about quite a few things on here, most of them with varying levels of popularity. So what better way to grab people’s attention then with good old 2000s nostalgia. So I wanna talk about Ed, Edd, n Eddy, a favoite दिखाना of mine from my childhoo- wait, Ed, Edd n Eddy came out in the 90s, fuck!
Ed, Edd n Eddy is one of the greatest कार्टून in, probably of all time. I know for a fact that it’s my प्रिय show. Where other famous shows tried and failed, Ed, Edd n Eddy succeeded. Spongebob is good, but it had some rough years. The Simpsons is alright, but it is in desperate need...
continue reading...
Ed, Edd n Eddy is one of the greatest कार्टून in, probably of all time. I know for a fact that it’s my प्रिय show. Where other famous shows tried and failed, Ed, Edd n Eddy succeeded. Spongebob is good, but it had some rough years. The Simpsons is alright, but it is in desperate need...
I've been meaning to make this लेख for a while and now I've finally gotten to it. I've done my प्रिय couples सूची before but it was always with animated couples but now I'm not just limiting my सूची to animated couples. I'm going to include all fictional couples. Please टिप्पणी दे but keep in mind that this is all just my honest opinion.
10.Odette and Derek (The हंस Princess)
With Odette and Derek, yes they don't get a long at first and fight over the years but there are subtle hints to them secretly liking each other. I mean,...
continue reading...
10.Odette and Derek (The हंस Princess)
"Well, there आप have it.. everlasting love...."
With Odette and Derek, yes they don't get a long at first and fight over the years but there are subtle hints to them secretly liking each other. I mean,...
