1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When आप sleep over never boss me around in बिस्तर unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If आप don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” या “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If आप want sex, just ask. (In case आप didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
10. Only मॉडेल are able to wear most of the stuff आप see in fashion magazines.
11. No guy will complain if he comes घर and sees आप in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, या just plain naked.
12. आप don’t need लेडीज़ इनवेअर to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank चोटी, शीर्ष are fine द्वारा us.
13. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
14. Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
15. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that आप may enjoy, just let us know.
16. Every so often no matter whether it is true या not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
17. If were not getting प्यार we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
18. The greatest thing ever is to watch a girl touch herself.
19. Most of the time when I fantasize it is about another person.
20. If you, the girl, make out with another girl we won’t consider it cheating. Actually we strongly promote this behavior.
21. Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
22. आप shouldn’t be flattered या grossed out if we get an erection when dancing with you. All we need is Friction.
23. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
24. We masturbate, usually और when we are in a relationship, can’t explain it but it is just fact.
25. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach आप not to quit.
26. Giving head is never a bad idea.
27. We are conservationists at heart, water is our biggest love, so शावर, शॉवर with us.
28. There are three acceptable ways to wake up: (1) आप on चोटी, शीर्ष of us. (2) Getting head. (3) Some sort of breakfast.
29. We don’t mind going to gay फिल्में with आप but don’t tell our friends.
30. आप can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports फिल्में या “Old yeller.”
31. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
32. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
33. You’re probably not as funny as आप think.
34. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one और girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
35. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced द्वारा a Maxim article)
36. Cooking makes a girl that much और attractive especially if she can use a grill.
37. आप can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
38. For every fart that slips out when आप are around we successfully hold in about 15, enduring excruciating pain to do this.
39. If we want to take naked pictures of आप it is because we are proud and want to दिखाना आप off to our friends.
40. The red light means the video camera is off.
41. A guy should be considered sensitive if he asks whether आप want to do it with the lights on या off.
42. Whip cream and चॉकलेट syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
43. Nothing आप will ever do will entitle आप to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
44. The only thing left to be कहा after sex is “goodnight.”
45. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play और often.
46. Critiquing our driving is only सेकंड to critiquing our प्यार making.
47. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer सवालों we could be castrated.
48. If आप ask us to go shopping आप have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
49. The jeans don’t make your नितंब, गधा look fat. Your fat नितंब, गधा makes your नितंब, गधा look fat.
50. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.