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Chapter 2—A New Day…A New Chapter
    Right अगला to the right one…what if आप are, and आप just don’t know it? या आप know it, and they don’t? That’s quite a pickle…why do they say that? Why is it a pickle? Why not say “oh, that’s quite a scone!” या “what a क्रैनबेरी muffin!” ah…so confusing. So I think that if आप are going on a bike ride आप don’t need to wear a helmet, आप just need to wear one of those big hard headbands. That’s because I was riding in this really short car down a bumpy road and I hit my head on the ceiling. But it didn’t hurt. आप wanna know why? Because I was wearing a big fat hard headband. Maybe that’s why people started wearing those. Maybe someone had on a bike हेलमेट and the front and back got cut off, and it was just a hard strip. And then that strip happened to look very good on that person, and so they just kept it around for everyday use. And then someone saw them with it and cut up their own bike helmets and just wore the headbands instead. But then, over time, people forgot the safety features of these headbands and just started wearing them for fashion and fun, and someone reinvented the bike helmet, because people were not wearing their headbands while riding their bikes, and were getting their skulls cracked open. And then the rules were made that आप have to wear your हेलमेट when आप ride your bike, so nobody was ब्रेव enough to bring back the headband helmets. And there आप have it, the story of how helmets were turned into headbands and back again. Bing! I need a brain implant. I think that instead of breast implants and nose jobs and lip puffer-upper thingies they should offer brain implants. They would make so much और money on brain implants than on any of other things because और people are stupid and need brain implants. I would definitely get one if they were offered. I really need a calculator implanted into my brain, and soon too, I have finals अगला week. But if brain implants were available the math teachers would probably forbid them या something, so i don’t know if that would be a very good idea anyways…oh well, it was a good idea when it came to mind…ha-ha and it would still be nice… oh well. आप can’t have everything except for those smiley faces are really happy lookingthey make me warm and fuzzy inside! What if आप actually got warm and fuzzy inside whenever आप कहा that? Like your insides started boiling and sprouted little fuzzy hairs like a baby chickens या whatever. That’s kinda gross if आप think about it. It’s also gross if आप don’t think about it. आप know what? It’s just gross. Period…times 2…+4…period.haha how’s that for a . ? I just wish it didn’t have that gigantic अंतरिक्ष up there . . . oh well. That’s what आप get when आप want to make a point with your big .’S. आप know what I like? Those big giant tortilla chip thingies. आप know the big and round yellow things that taste like regular tortilla chips, but are really, really big? Actually, I don’t know if आप do know. . . im just assuming that आप know what im talking about, which I should probably never do, cos I hardly ever make much sense about anything. I also don’t make cents. Im totally broke. I wish I made cents. . . but I can’t find a way of doing that without actually working. . . so I guess I’ll just stay broke for a while until my birthday. It’s in a couple of months, I’ll get द्वारा on begging till then. Maybe I’ll start right now. I’ll be back later, im heading for the streets! Okay, so the streets (my driveway) wasn’t working. Turns out rich people don’t come down to the end of Driven Trail very much at 5:00 on a Wednesday…well, I didn’t expect very much और than a couple of birds and maybe a गिलहरी या two. And they don’t carry any money on them, cos they don’t have pockets. What if they did have pockets? It would be really funny to see a चिकैडी, चिकदी या a गिलहरी running around in the mud in a little dress या mini, miniscule little jeans and a jacket! And they could have pockets just big enough to stuff a folded up twenty in there. Only the pockets would like take up the entire कमीज, शर्ट if they were that big… oh well. Maybe I’ll make some little teeny clothes and lay them out on the porch and see if they’re gone in the morning. Only if they are gone, it probably means that my कुत्ता ate them… oh well, at least their stomachs will be warm! आप cannot have a cold stomach. If your stomach was cold all the chewed up खाना would just freeze into a big mushy gross looking ice cube. And it would just stay in there forever. I wonder if that’s why वैंपायर can’t eat regular food. Their skin is so cold that any खाना they ate would just freeze into lumpy brown ice. Wow, that explains a lot! It’s funny how much आप can learn while just rambling on and on like im doing now! I think that when आप think आप don’t think of as many good ideas, don’t आप think so? When you’re thinking you’re actually thinking about something, so there’s no room in your brain for new और interesting ideas. If you’re not thinking about anything in particular, and just लेखन down anything that comes into your mind a lot of very interesting educational stuff comes into your mind. Like about the cold stomachs and the song slugs and the headband helmets and stuff. Ah, the things the brain comes up with! Fascinating, fascinating! I could spend all दिन talking about it (don’t get scared, I won’t).

haha! there आप go! the सेकंड installment of my awesome book!
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posted by kitkat709477
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed."

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You're not late, आप just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're...
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1. meet barney

2. rob a bank while your still cute

3. write a threatening letter to the president

4. egg barneys house because he skipped last weeks show

5. slide down the big slide!

6. get revenge on the बत्तख, बतख floaty that nearly drowned you

7. be bigger than big brother

8.drink a beer

9. when drunk find bob the builder and tell him what i really think!

10. win the lottery, and wave the money in mommy and daddy's face because apparently "I'm to younge to get an allowance"

11. get over that vacum cleaner fear

12. win at tug o war with the doggy

13. hold the senator hostage in an elabrate murder plot where...
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posted by werewolflover
I'm in something called Honors Club at school.Each साल we go on a trip,this साल to St.Louis.We left Thursday,April 29th 2010.
The ride took like six hours.The reason it took so long,was because one of the bus's air conditioning messed up,and we had to sit at a gas station for an hour.
We finally got up there and went to Nascar Speed Park.It was awesome.We got to ride go-carts and I won the race.Then,it was time for dinner.We ate hotdogs.And word of advice,if आप ever go there DO NOT EAT THEM!!!!They are NASTY.Then,I went to a gift खरीडिए and got a खट्टा powder stic.I got some tokens,and used them...
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Ever made a pick that आप really want people to answer, but it's moving along slowly? Try these tips to bump it up.

1. Post the सवाल when there are lots of people online. Between about 5-10pm in America is usually the best time, but it depends on the club. Doing this ensures that lots of people will answer it before it gets bumped down the list.

2. Don't make your pick when आप first post it. When आप first create it it will be at the चोटी, शीर्ष of the list. If आप wait until it dissapears off the homepage to pick it will go back to the top, which means और people will see it.

3. When आप have picked and it dissapears off the सूची again make टिप्पणियाँ during peak time, which I mentioned in tip 1. This is not effective, but your pick will still appear in the updates, which can give it a bit of exposure, and hopefully if someoe जवाब it will go back to the चोटी, शीर्ष of the list.

I hope this helps! Feedback appriciated.
posted by thespikedturtle
I am depressed. Not that I want to kill myself, but I am definitely depressed. Everywhere I look, I see violence, harshness, and hatred. The sad part is that people today seem to not even notice it, या may even contribute without knowing.

At lunchtime, आप usually walk into the cafeteria, jump in line with your friends, and go on without another thought. But jumping people in line really isn't as cool as आप think it is. You're not only दिखा रहा है disrespect to the other people, but it's just plain selfish. What you're really doing is using friendship to your advantage and making others suffer...
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posted by TOTALIzzyluver
Ok thx 4 the टिप्पणियाँ in part 2! most of them were awesome! So here is Part 3!!
__________________________________________________

Awesome: Sup Z??

Z: Pigs!!

Awesome: Yeah they make funny noises!

Z: I see a penguin!

Awesome: We're not in Africa !

Z: Oh did u see Billy Bob's साल book picture?

Awesome: No is there something wrong with it?

Z: yeah i had no clue he had a beard!

Awesome: I think ice cream should come in a चॉकलेट flavor

Z: They do...

Awesome: MY gramma has a pretty kitty

Z: aren't all kittys pretty

Awesome: We went out last night

Z: आप and who?

Awesome: Charlie Bartlett

Z: As in the movie?

Awesome:...
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posted by Little_Cullen
So I was sitting at home, watching the comedy gala and texting (you know those meaningless conversations, the ones आप don't enjoy but आप don't want to just be rude and ignore your harasser), not really focusing, just दिवास्वप्न (about a bunch of grapes, with each अंगूर having a seperate personality and the ability to communicate, if आप must know. Imagine the arguments they'd get into...), vaguely conscious of the fact that on the T.V a comedian was up there standing there in silence with no one laughing.

I was then pulled out of my reverie (one अंगूर had just कहा to another "What did the...
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