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How do I become sarcastic?
CANADA24; आप answer सवालों such as THIS one.


My house is on fire, what do I do?
CANADA24; आप get off the fuckin computer and go outside!


Can आप get pregnant from watching porn?
CANADA24; Only on wednesdays.


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
CANADA24; Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
CANADA24; GOOD!


Why are शिशु ugly at first?
CANADA24; आप try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
CANADA24; आप take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start.


Is it normal to be in प्यार with your dog?
CANADA24; आप need help.


Do आप बिल्ली know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
CANADA24; Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from.


Is their birds in Canada:
"Obviously आप never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if आप paint your teeth white with nail polish?
CANADA24; आप die!


How do I test if my कछुआ, कछुए is gay?
"you दिखाना it your penis, and see if it stares for और than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of येशु Christ?
CANADA24; No, they were all turned into wine.


How does sex start?
CANADA24; With human contact!


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
CANADA24; 3 weeks.


How do I ask a सवाल on Yahoo Answers?
CANADA24; आप JUST DID!!


How do आप tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
CANADA24; Take it to McDonald's.


Do midgets have night vision?
CANADA24; Only in Mexico.


Can आप lose your virginity if आप fall?
CANADA24; Only if it's off a bike


How do I take care of my pet potato?
"With प्यार and a full stomach"


What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?
CANADA24; ...................... WHAT!?


How do I get accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
CANADA24; आप draw a lighting bolt on your fourhead, and buy fullmoon glasses, and take British speaking lessons


Why do my balls smell like ham?
CANADA24; The BETTER सवाल is, why were आप smelling it in the first place?


What my wife is going to think about my black crotch on my white body?
"She'll probably call a priest to perform an exorcist"


Why does my screen say "www.bangbros.com" after my son leaves even though he tells me he's doing homework?
CANADA24; It's a porn site... He's "smart" enough to leave the link open.


How can I test if my son is gay?
CANADA24; आप दिखाना him the Twilight Saga.


My girlfriend has a lazy eye & she's constantly looking at other women, should we break up?
CANADA24; And pass up the chance for a threeway!?.. आप really ARE stupid!


Why is canada a सुरक्षित country?
CANADA24; Cause the mighty king बत्तख, हंस gives us खाना to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my कछुआ, कछुए against a wall"
CANADA24; I don't think your your doing it right.


हैलोवीन falls on a Friday the 13th this साल for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
CANADA24; आप two huh?


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
CANADA24; Good for you, here's a lollipop.


Why are Americans stupid?
CANADA24; Cause they are close to Canada.


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
CANADA24; Because ALL Canadians like hockey.


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
CANADA24; No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
CANADA24; Coarse not आप idiot.


Is it legal to live in Canada? also is Canada even a real country या is it just part of the united states?
CANADA24; आप make me sad.


If आप die in Canada? Do आप die in real life?
CANADA24;No, आप become a reindeer with red nose"


Do they have birds in Canada?
CANADA24; Try पढ़ना a book once in a while"


Why do Canadians speak English?
CANAD24; Maybe the fact we were part of England may have a little bit to do with it.. But who knows.


Are Newfoundlander's and Irish the same thing?
CANADA24; ... Dick!


Will I meet many Americans that live in Toronto?
CANADA24; ..........................


Why would Canadians be against global warming when it will renders huge swaths of Canadian land habitable someday?
CANADA24; आप do realize Canada reaches like 90 degrees most summers!"


Could आप give me सलाह on a nice and warm jacket? How about the Canada Goose?
CANADA24; Sure.. Find one, and it can talk to you.


Why are Canadians gay?
CANADA24; Cause we have a red flag"


How can I हटाइए to Canada?
CANADA24; द्वारा getting off the couch.


Can an 18 साल old go to Canada?
CANADA24; No.. Too many perverts.


Why did Canada send troops to Afghanistan?
CANADA24; Cause we were bored.


How come Canadians don't seem to be into 'Christianity' as much as the United States?
CANADA24; आप do realize we are nothing BUT christians.


How do आप say "I प्यार you?" in Canadian?
CANADA24; द्वारा ending it with "eh"


Is Canadian easy to learn?
CANADA24; Not really, but easier than learning chineese"


What state is Toronto?
CANADA24; It's part of Florida.


What is the country Canada all about?
CANADA24; Hillybillies and मेपल syrup.


Dose Canada have a military?
CANADA24; No we have polar bears with stun guns.


What City is Niagara Falls in?
CANADA24; Your mothers.


Are Canadians considered to be Americans?
CANADA24; Yes and Mexicans are considered Russians.


America has a population that is 10 times larger than Canada's. So could the population of Canada easily fit within America?
CANADA24; Yes, but it's a tight squeeze.


JUST CAUSE I SUCKED YOUR COCK, DON'T MEAN WE DATING! I SUCKED YOUR COCK, BUT NOT YOUR HEART!!
CANADA24: This is why hookers don't get paid much.


My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all आप want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some ugly boy likes her! Why didn't श्रेक change for Fiena!? Beautiful people are strong, ugly people are not! Why couldn't he change for Fiona!? Because woman have to do everything!
CANADA24; Try watching श्रेक 2 dumbass..


I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
CANADA24; Don't worry sweetheart, if your his first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay या a serial killer..


Who trying to get me pregnant? I'll abort it द्वारा summer.
CANADA24; Good idea, can't have और of your kind running around..


If आप hadn't लॉस्ट your viginity द्वारा 14, your a fucking loser, kill yourself! No offence.
CANADA24; Stop playing CoD online and fix that gas leak..


I put my hand down my pants to adjest my balls, now my palm smells! #Gross
CANADA24; #NoShit!


If Trump becomes president I'm moving back to Hawaii! Fuck America!
CANADA24; Yeah, lets get away from America and live in Texas..


Gay rights! Woman rights! Gays and woman should be monitored!
CANADA24;And पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा should be protected द्वारा law.


#14:
I'm not a hooker! I just make money while being sexually pleasured, okay!
CANADA24; That's still a hooker..


9/11 was a true tragedy for females. So many woman लॉस्ट there lives, and there husbands.. And who was responsible? MEN! Males destroyed the world trade centre cause deep down inside, they all have the mind set of barbarians. As a female, I’m glad our brains have developed to recognize good and evil.
CANADA24; This is real people! These people are real!


#16:
Another reporter was killed today. I think the only solution is to create a Muslim holocaust. Put them in construction camps, and exterminate them from this world!
CANADA24; HEIL HITLAR!!


Saw my son’s penis at a scan today. #Impressed #Proud
CANADA24; #GetHelp!


If being Gay is natural, where are the gay babies!?
CANADA24; They are still in the lab..


This is PSA to men. When we say something and आप disagree pretend to agree anyway. Cause when we hear “no your wrong” we get scared. With the amount of rape culture, we take it as a sign that your silencing us. And if आप continue to do so just cause आप arrogantly believe woman are wrong, than it’s a slippery slope to Misogyny and abuse.
CANADA24; Yes, woman are never wrong.. Just ask Elizabeth Bathory


I प्यार jealous aggressive guys. That’s right. Beat me. Push me. Get in my face! Don’t ignore my arguments, argue back. Even if your wrong, win the argument. I’m a strong minded stubborn girl, and if आप let me walk all over आप I will. No girl wants a emotionally weak man. She wants a man who can put her in her place!
CANADA24; And the mother of the साल award goes tooooo
posted by simpleplan
1. When the teacher says to “take a seat”, आप answer “take it where”.
2. When the teacher calls your name at roll call, आप answer “Absent”.
3. When she calls roll, आप answer “yo mama”.
4. When the teacher says something, आप say “is that so?”
5. If आप so happened to not turn in your homework say, your class pet ate it.
6. Tell your teacher you’ll turn in your homework, as soon as your parents finish doing it.
7. Tell your teacher आप did not turn in your homework because आप were watching TV.
8. Fold your homework into a cootie-catcher.
9. Fold your homework into a paper...
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posted by smileypop9
1.When आप walk into the room, run up to the teacher and stare her in the eyes. nothing more. just keep a straight face and stare. they get quite scared.

2.Before your science class starts, put a कूलर that has "Human Head" written on top, on the front table. On the board write: "Class, we will be disecting a human head tommorrow, the sign up सूची is on my डेस्क for the part आप would like to dissect" Actually put a sign up सूची on her desk.

3.bring a cactus to school. Raise your hand. When called upon say the cactus has a question. look at the cactus and wait for it to say something. when it...
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1)"Why, do आप find me irresistible?"

2)"No, I just dress better than you"

3)"You're a double gay. No returnsies!"

4)"I प्यार the सेकंड grade insults, *insert name here*. Honestly, isn't it strange how "gay" has come to replace "stupid"? And so what if I was gay? Insulting my sexual orientation is pointless.

NOW...if a girl says you're gay, and आप actually are, I find the best burn is: "At least I can get a boyfriend."

5)Look them in the face with a deadpan expression. Simply say, "Yes. I'm gay," and walk away. Take their thunder away. It's such a juvenile thing to say in the first place.
Or...
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1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a वृत्त that had its two sides gently compressed द्वारा a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...
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1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When आप sleep over never boss me around in बिस्तर unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If आप don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” या “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If आप want sex, just ask. (In case आप didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with और than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are आप busy?" या "Are आप doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all दिन but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here आप go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here द्वारा my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes आप make me so mad i wanna throw आप in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style आप wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at आप trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can किस a guy* a bird can किस a butterfly* the rising sun can किस the grass* but आप my friend!! yes you!! आप CAN किस MY ASS*******

If आप didn't have feet आप wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do आप wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for आप %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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posted by मिलोरोक्स18
44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make आप tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are आप remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with आप when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves आप more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her फ्रेंड्स say i प्यार her और than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If आप have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your फ्रेंड्स come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary फ्रेंड्स that आप ask their opinion of everything.

7. After आप have your bath, लपेटें a bath towel around आप and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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I never thought I would be doing a सूची like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this सूची with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please टिप्पणी दे but be polite. Also, always टिप्पणी दे because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers आप know.
12.Strangers आप don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to मिटाइए above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary फ्रेंड्स that आप talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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Here are my सूची of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let आप know now i got alot of these from the यूट्यूब channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything या eating anything आप might spit it या something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the झाड़ू late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the खाड़ी, बे they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorite...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome फ्रेंड्स and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time आप read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though आप may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't प्यार you, my love.

I loved आप with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar आप grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something या someone

3. Go up to a बिना सोचे समझे person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki बिना सोचे समझे noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a फव्वारा run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to आप in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask आप say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing कमीज, शर्ट sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If आप want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on गूगल
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS या If आप find a कमीज, शर्ट store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the खाना court and go to a fast खाना place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a तालिका, टेबल गाना elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as आप can "I प्यार THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT दिन AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until आप see an old lady/guy...
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