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posted by वींडवेकर्गाई430
Other than horrible gaming journalists not understanding how indie games work, another thing people say is how unfair they can be. Cuphead is unfair because your character only has three hearts on them. Hotline Miami is too hard because enemies can kill आप in one hit. Slime Rancher is too hard because I can’t feed my Slimes in time. But there is a game out there that I can say with slight certainty that it can feel really unfair at times. A game so difficult that it already has me cursing before the game starts. A Bastard’s Tale.



A Bastard’s Tale follows a knight, I’m going to assume he’s the fabled Bastard, as he makes his way through a set of levels in a very slow movement speed, his quest, uncertain, but apparently, people praise him for his efforts after each level. Now if आप play the game right, आप could beat A Bastard’s Tale in sixteen minutes. It is a pretty short game. So why is it that HowLongtoBeat.com says that it takes two hours to beat? Because the game is so damn hard. Now it doesn’t have the difficult bosses like Cuphead या the one hit death mechanic of Hotline Miami, but what it does have is a lot of enemies. Honestly, this game has elements of being forgiving unlike the other two. आप can take way और damage than in either game, and आप can find a bottle of potion to heal up right before the boss. The game gives आप plenty of time to prepare for the worst. So why is it so much harder? Because the controls are so damn confusing. आप have three basic attacks, two side swings, one from the left and one from the right, and आप have a downward slash. आप can also block from these directions if आप hold the shoulder button. It’s this mechanic that makes A Bastard’s Tale so tough. Enemies hold their weapons out to block, and आप gotta झूला, स्विंग at them in the right way. I always found swinging downward when they hold their weapons in any other direction the easiest since I can never really tell which side their blocking from. आप gotta master these controls as soon as possible, because an enemy can really mess आप up in seconds. They give little cool down time and are ready to झूला, स्विंग again in seconds, and while आप do have a health bar, they can drain it just as fast. While I did find some of the ways the game can get आप killed pretty humorous, like a knight flinging his spear into the air after आप kill him only to fall back and kill you. That’s kinda funny, like a Monty अजगर thing. Sadly, that laughter turns into a groan as I am thrown back to the start. While it feels good to beat a level after dying so many times, आप will die many, many times. I think I died on the first two levels और times than I did on any of the levels of Hotline Miami… combined.
A Bastard’s Tale is tough, and kinda unforgiving with it’s difficulty. I did say that it is unfair, but the ways it does kill आप can be funny if आप can forgive how painfully difficult it is. A Bastard’s Tale is not a terrible game, despite what many of the reviews say for it, but even when आप get passed the insane difficulty, it is a very simple game. I would recommend it for people who like the style या want a hard game… या buy it for a dollar like I did, but आप can find better games that have a huge difficulty to it but has और to it than just difficulty like Hollow Knight, Hotline Miami, Cuphead, and for a और हाल का example, Blasphemous.

Up next: How low can your innocence go?
posted by XxKeithHarkinxX
6:48pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Yo.
6:49pmjnrm:
suppers!
6:49pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Being depressed
6:50pmjnrm:
fun times, i can tell from yur roblox stats
6:51pm
dude! i found some really cute clothes on roblox!
6:52pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
give meh da link
6:53pmjnrm:
Well a few of the shirts are cute i guess link
i like the दिल one with suspenders
6:54pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
i buy her clotehs all teh time XD
6:54pmjnrm:
Oh XD Lol
6:54pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Eeeeeyup
6:59pmjnrm:
do आप know anyone that has my style?
6:59pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
besides me //killed
6:59pmjnrm:
kk
7:00pm
thx
7:00pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
anytime.
7:00pmjnrm:
i cant find them on...
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Hold on to me, प्यार
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I प्यार आप and I'm not afraid, oh

Can आप hear me?
Can आप feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of आप
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow पेड़
(Come and find me)

I know आप hear me
I can taste it in your tears

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of आप
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams...
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posted by sakurahanazono
1.) Start saying the सवालों really loudly and if they try to tell आप to be quite say "shhh this is a test आप know, gosh!"

2.) In a maths test start whispering बिना सोचे समझे numbers to the person अगला to आप and then when the teacher tells आप off say "They made me give them the जवाब या they कहा they'd kill me!" Then glare at them.

3.) Laugh hysterically and when people stare at आप say "What are आप lookin at!" या "Stop trying to copy my answers!"

4.) Get on चोटी, शीर्ष of the तालिका, टेबल and start doing the macarena.

5.) After you've wrote your name on the test, start screaming and when the teacher comes over and asks whats wrong say "How does the test know what my name is! Have आप been spying on me and teling it everything!"
"Where is Maybelle?"Alicia asked.
"I don't-"I was cut off
"Help!Help me!I need help!Please!!"A familiar voice begged.
"MAYBELLE!"we all कहा in unison.
We followed the voice into a huge hut.
"Maybelle!Where are you?"I asked.
I ran as fast as I could.I couldn't wait for them to catch up.I saw a door with a small window.I looked in and saw Ariana.When she turned back,I ran back.
"Help!Help me!Help m-MM!MUHH!MMMMMHHH!"Maybelle yelled.
I ran to the door Maybelle and Ariana were in.I knocked on the door,got out my sword,and waited for Ariana to come out.
"What?Wh-AH!"She said.
"You said,you'd leave my friends...
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There's a place in my mind
No one knows where it hides
And my कल्पना is flying
It's a गढ़, महल in the sky

It's a world of our past
Where the legend still lasts
And the king wears the crown
But the magic spell is law

Take your sword and your shield
There's a battle on the field
You're a knight and you're right
So with ड्रॅगन्स now you'll fight

And my fancy is flying
It's a गढ़, महल in the sky
या there's nothing out there
These are castles in the air

Fairytales live in me
Fables coming from my memory
कल्पना is not a crime
Find your गढ़, महल in the sky

You've got the key
Of the kingdom of the clouds
Open the door
Leaving back your doubts

You've got the power
To live another childhood
So ride the wind
That leads आप to the moon 'cause..."
Sarah couldn't make a noise.Ariana ran to the little girl.Sarah got a grip on the sticks.When she stopped the little girl.Sarah stabbed Ariana in the back."OOOOWWWW!!WHAT THE HECK आप LITTLE IDIOT!"She yelled.She dropped to her knees.I picked up the little girl,which was crying."It's okay.Let's get आप to your mommy."Her mom was crying too."Here's your daughter."Sarah said."THANK YOU!THANK YOU!"The mom कहा and cheered.
Sarah walked back.
"SARAH!Oh my gosh!"Alicia कहा and she hugged her.
"That was amazing."Maybelle said.
"Guys!Focus!The stone."Sarah said.They got out and ran."Oh no!The Rights!That's...
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It was The night of Scarlett's sleepover,The guests arrived quickly.
S:Hey!Chloe and Nancy are already here,Penny.
P:Okay,Um...Where do I put my sleeping bag?
S:Anywhere.
M:Bye Honey!I gotta go to work!
S:Bye mom!
N:Can we play 'Truth या Dare'?
S:Don't see why not.
Scarlett got a तकिया and put it in her lap.
N:Okay,Chloe!Truth या dare?
C:Truth.
N:Okay,WHATS MY MIDDLE NAME?
C:Shannon.
N:WRONG!I DON'T HAVE ONE!!!HA!TRICK QUESTION!
C:Grrr.Okay.Penny,Truth या dare?
P:Dare!
C:Alright,I dare आप to...Name ONE Scary movie you've watched!
P:Oh...Well....lets see...(gulp)...HARRY POTTER!
S:As much as we hate him....Doesn't...
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1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter पुस्तकें and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from आप (Example: When in a car या an elevator). If आप don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and क्रिस्मस and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their प्रिय song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their inbox...
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posted by karpach_14
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have आप ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would आप ask such a सवाल now? आप don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when आप were 35 years old and आप really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give आप a loan? Remember how one दिन the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no सवालों asked?"

"Oh, Betty, आप did that for me!...
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posted by karpach_14
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for आप आप twit she was only after your money and could have दिया a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...
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posted by smileypop9
I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can आप guess whose and what job it is?


You think your job sucks? Let me tell आप about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair या putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The अगला chick is exactly the opposite- she might even...
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I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" या "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He कहा "I'd like to have one too." Then I कहा "But this is a dog". He कहा he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He कहा I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for...
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posted by invadercalliope
CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can आप believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how आप respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what आप want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee और than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My दिल skips a beat
When आप walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with आप until the end

I give my दिल and my soul to you
To make आप see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant आप see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what आप want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...
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posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOPPPEEEE
CHHHAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEELLLL!
Hia everyone I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
TIME FOR THE SIX EPISODE OF CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I hope आप are getting use to this दिखाना cuz I am!
Well todays specail guest is......Angry monkey!
Angry Monkey:Gir
Invader Calliope:Did आप say something!
Angry Monkey:Uh nothing s-sorry.
Invader Calliope:Well it looks like the Angry Monkey is'nt use to interviews!He must be nervous because of all the people watching!
Angry Monkey:*scared*
Invader Calliope:So anyway wait we are all outta time well BYE EVERYONE!I hope आप enjoy the picture!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE आप AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING आप 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST तारा, स्टार IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T आप EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO आप BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF या I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the दिखाना earlyer!Bye!
The End
i प्यार cereal yes i do

i प्यार cereal how bout you

coco pufe

ceriose

cookie crisp

wasting cerial is a risk

i प्यार cerial yes i do i प्यार cerial आप better to

it is breakfast

most important meal

if आप can't have crealeal

do not steal

i प्यार creal yes we do i प्यार ceral आप should to

it is healfy

for your brain

for test math and englesh

even frech and science

i प्यार ccerale yes i do

i प्यार crealy how about you

me and my firend made this up what are some बिना सोचे समझे songs आप made up plz commet
1.where आप keep yOUR diary!!
2.if u r on your peroid या nawt!!
3.Who आप talk 2 on the phone
4.THat आप are super jelous या other girls (or boys)
5.That आप hate most of his family.
6.THat when a crisi comes up आप will run to him
7.What yuor style is!!
8.That like to watch scary movies(LOL)
9.That आप have an internet profile.
10.AND the last your cell number!! OMG they practliy break the phone!!!
11.How smart आप are at fixing things.


GIRLS STAY KEWL,BEAUTYFUL, and if any guys try to break tht BREAK THEYRE FACe!!!!
 I cartooned myself and this is wat i got!!!
I cartooned myself and this is wat i got!!!
1.    Kobalt Tools taught me that आप can’t kill a Kobalt.
2.    Home Depot taught me that the power of the घर Depot is और saving and और doing.
3.    Burger King taught me to have it my way.
4.    Tony the Tiger taught me that Frosted Flakes are और than good, they’re great!
5.    Nike taught me to just do it.
6.    Disneyland taught me that it’s the happiest place on Earth.
7.    McDonald’s taught me that I’m loving it.
8.    Sprite...
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esah

because he's a stupid perverted boy. I was having a normal conversation with him then he out of the blue accused me of "wanting to be with him" of not being a virgin. Repeatedly insulted me(i wont repeat what he said) and tried to "seduce" me. And now hes trying to flirt with me



Yes K5-HOWL has लॉस्ट her mind because of the sick bitches in this world,

This is just a simple warning thing. This is not to be cruel just to warn fellow fanpoppers of who to stay away from.

-___- He just gave his phone number, that ticks me off. I will post अपडेट्स if आप want :)