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There's a reason why Shovel Knight is widely regarded as the best game of 2014, and here's why.

But first, since I'm और of a buzzkill than the bees in Donkey Kong Country, a little backstory.

Shovel Knight started out as a project on the लोकप्रिय website Kickstarter, which kickstarts new ideas and is commonly used to make and invent new things. Then came....

*Insert cliche as hell hallelujah music*

This game, Shovel Knight.

Now since this isn't a review, I'm just going to give what I think of it, that way this doesn't turn into one of those god-forsaken 1,000 word essays आप had to do in a week when आप were in elementary school.

Shovel Knight in a nutshell is an NES based platformer that is easily one of the best I've ever seen.

The gameplay is as sharp as a blacksmithed needle, the संगीत is as catchy that goddamn catchphrase YOLO, and the graphics look as beautiful as my girlfriend Cynthia, because even though the game's only 8-bit, it still looks absolutely wonderful.

Seriously, there's no way in hell that this game could've been on an actual NES. The system wasn't capable of auto-scrolling, 46 amazing songs that I could listen to all millennium, या a story mode as long as Shovel Knight's.

The story is that Shovel Knight and his extravagant buddy Shield Knight used to roam the lands, living young, wild, and free, (Don't lie, आप don't get the reference.) When all of a sudden she disappears right the fuck out of nowhere and you've got to save her!

But to get to where she presumably is at the tower of fate, आप must first beat up a giant intimidating group of baddies called "The Order Of No Quarter!"

आप CAN'T HAVE MY QUARTERS ROBOT MASTER STEREOTYPES! >.<

Seriously though, the bosses each have awesome designs with funny personalities and I प्यार each and every one of them.

Then there's the leader of the group, named the Enchantress. She's the annoying नितंब, गधा Blinky of the group, and easily the most powerful of the Order Of No Quarter.

Using a character that looks exactly like Boba Fett from तारा, स्टार Wars and Vile from Megaman X, आप must use the shovel heard round the world to stop the baddies and save your girlfriend!

Seriously, the shovel in this game is so powerful it can break steel in two hits.

I WANT THAT SHOVEL.

The entire game is easy to learn, but so damn hard to master you'd have an easier time learning to twirl a conductor's baton on आग in a pool full of sharks.

Although each death is quite fair, as no time playing the game did I ever find me actually mad, and I never died because I thought the game was unfair either, so don't get the wrong idea या I'll swat आप with a ski pole.

Every now and then you'll find a rare special item that आप can use at any time as long as आप have enough magic, including a आग rod, a giant exploding anchor, and a pair of gloves that can somehow control the boundaries of space, time, and gravity and पंच through dust blocks in the air while flying until there's no और dirt bricks left to punch.

I WANT THOSE GLOVES.

In conclusion, this is a very fun game that's easily worth your money. And seeing as how there's SO much awesome DLC coming out soon you'd have an easier time counting the amount of mosquitos there are in a swarm of absolutely terrifying blood-drinking creatures, I think you'll absolutely प्यार this game.

आप probably won't प्यार the swarm of mosquitos though, dear god.

FINAL SCORE: 9.5! This is one of the best games I've seen in decades.
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posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the अगला on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't आप take a सीट and I will get आप something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some खाना with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the सूची and removed his name from the चोटी, शीर्ष of the सूची and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he कहा to the guy, "Because आप have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the सूची ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much आप try!!
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's आप and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
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posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the आग department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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posted by KatiiCullen94
dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that आप were real, that आप all were , that he was.
There is evidence that आप were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming या not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and आप diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, या did i make आप up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without आप i dont know. But i want to find out. Do आप think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for...
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Legal and Media analyst Lionel of Lionel Media joins Steve Malzberg (in for Scottie Nell Hughes) to discuss new claims of copyright, intellectual property and so-called hate speech in controlling communication on social media platforms
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