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Here are my सूची of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let आप know now i got alot of these from the यूट्यूब channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything या eating anything आप might spit it या something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the झाड़ू late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the खाड़ी, बे they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's प्रिय vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the मशरूम have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do आप call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do आप call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do आप make an octopus giggle ten times?
आप give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do आप make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's प्रिय composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between आप and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't आप hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher कहा it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the टमाटर blush?
It saw the सलाद dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do आप know if it's raining बिल्ली and dogs?
आप step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do आप know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do आप get पिकाचू on a bus?
आप पोकेमोन (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't आप dress with पिकाचू in the room?
He'll पिकाचू (peek at you)

#27 What do आप call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
आप boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton पार करना, क्रॉस the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do आप call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's गुलाबी and fluffy?
गुलाबी fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
गुलाबी fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when आप drink 7 coca colas?
आप burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the मछली say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't आप trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope आप liked them. Make sure आप check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four सवालों to determine the level of your intellect. Your उत्तरों must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating या wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: आप are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in सेकंड place.
In which position are आप now?

Answer:

If आप answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. आप overtook the सेकंड runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the अगला सवाल try not to be so dumb.

2 : If आप overtake the last...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked द्वारा his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes घर and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother उत्तरों " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad उत्तरों "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she उत्तरों "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she उत्तरों "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
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posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? आप know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let आप go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are आप enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling आप how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
What's your personality type?

Picks/Polls
link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link, link
link

(E) Extrovert
-Tend to focus on the outer world of people and the external environment
-Like variety and action
-Often impatient with long, slow jobs
-Are interested in the activities of their work and in how other people do it
-Often act quickly, sometimes without thinking
-Develop ideas द्वारा discussion
-Like to learn new task द्वारा talking it through with someone
-Need to experience the world in order to understand it and thus tend to like action

(I) Introverts
-Focus और on their own inner world,...
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Okay so if आप live on the eastcoast u are probably getting used to the snow..........so even if u aren't, everybody has the problem of having nothing to do when it snows but sled. So these are a few of the things that i enjoy to do.........hehe!

1. Fill balloons with water. Then leave them outside overnight.............yeah i'm this stupid. The अगला day, cut the balloons off and आप got.........AN ICE BALL!! (i usually make like 15) Then use them to pay dodgeball. This is especially fun to do in deep snow, when आप can barely हटाइए as it is. Technically, u could use them to do various things,...
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posted by वींडवेकर्गाई430
… So YIIK is a game



Okay, so a lot of you, या hell, all of आप are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are आप doing this time?” All two of आप that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a साल पूर्व on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
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posted by वींडवेकर्गाई430
Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, known in other regions as Shin Megami Tensei: Lucifer’s Call, is the “third” game in the SMT franchise. And I say third with कोट्स because any SMT प्रशंसकों will tell आप that’s bullshit. The third in the mainline franchise, yes, but SMT has had several spin offs and franchises all from the Shin Megami Tensei titles alone. Hell, one of them that आप may know, and the reason why आप are पढ़ना this लेख right now to yell at me over, is the Persona franchise. Persona is part of the same series, but vastly different. Persona is a game that is about the...
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added by zanhar1
added by TheLefteris24
posted by scarletunicorn
So, this started out as a small little thing between AudreyFreak and me, but I'd thought it'd be good for us to टिप्पणी दे on characters we don't like and don't care for, and maybe it'd be good to explain, even those characters that are glorified द्वारा the fandom but have संपूर्ण, कुल मिलाकर massive problems in general.

So, let's go!

Margery Tyrell (Game of Thrones).

AF- Unlike her less developed but actually likable book counterpart, TV Margaery (or “Marge Boleyn”, as some say, which I love) has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. She’s essentially a glorified prom क्वीन who just lives to cattily pick on...
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 Let's fuckin do this
Let's fuckin do this
Well, the first episode has a whopping SEVENTEEN प्रशंसकों now, which is my most लोकप्रिय लेख to date, so I guess a lot of आप wanted a sequel. Hope आप guys enjoy, sorry it took so long to happen. XD

"How to compliment a guy."

It's not that hard, just say something nice. Do आप REALLY need सलाह from the internet on something so INSANELY simple such as this?

"Fries insulted me!"

You insult humanity, it's a pretty fair trade to me.

"Paul's Empire."

DANCE my minions, DANCE! >:D

"What does astroglide smell like?"

Fresh flowers, unless the lubricant has been used after masturbating, in which case a...
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Item #: SCP-465
Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-465 is secured in containment locker 8423 at Site-19. Under no circumstances is SCP-465 to be opened द्वारा any personnel ranking above class D, and then only in a अंतरिक्ष at least 15 square meters in area. No other special attention या care is required.

Description: SCP-465-01 is a large two-piece cardboard box decorated with a faded confetti pattern लोकप्रिय in the 1970s. Other than a large printed label on the चोटी, शीर्ष of the lid marked "Party in a Box", no indication of contents या manufacturer are found on any portion of the object....
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added by Percy4eva
video
josh groban
polar express
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added by AnimeFan66
Source: Animefan66
added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
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Source: DeviantARt.com