1. When आप get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
2. When he asks why आप were speeding, tell him आप wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend आप are deaf.
4. If he asks if आप knew how fast आप were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if आप can see his gun.
6. When he says आप aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why आप were speeding, tell him आप had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him द्वारा his first name.
11. Pretend आप are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks आप to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks आप to spread them, tell him आप don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me रात का खाना first"
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause आप don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After आप sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read आप your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes आप away.
25. Before आप sign the ticket, pick your nose. आप have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like आप are retarded.
32. When he's telling आप what आप did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells आप to stop, say what are आप talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin डोनट and say hmmm....only 5 of आप here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five प्रिय Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say आप missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if आप can buy his car.
48. If he takes आप to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If आप know him, say आप had his wife for dinner.
51. If आप don't know him, ask if आप can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When आप are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what आप gonna do with that.
59. If आप are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks आप in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
62. Tell him आप like men in uniform.
63. Ask if आप can borrow his uniform for a हैलोवीन party
2. When he asks why आप were speeding, tell him आप wanted to race.
3. When he talks to you, pretend आप are deaf.
4. If he asks if आप knew how fast आप were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5. Ask if आप can see his gun.
6. When he says आप aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
7. Touch him.
8. When he asks why आप were speeding, tell him आप had to buy a hat.
9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
10. Refer to him द्वारा his first name.
11. Pretend आप are gay and ask him out.
12. When he says no, cry.
13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
15. If he asks आप to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
16. When he asks आप to spread them, tell him आप don't go that way.
17. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me रात का खाना first"
18. Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause आप don't like ink on your fingers.
19. After आप sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
20. Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
21. When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
22. When he goes to read आप your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
23. Trip and fall into him.
24. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes आप away.
25. Before आप sign the ticket, pick your nose. आप have to sign with his pen.
26. Chew on the pen, nervously.
27. Clean your ear with the pen.
28. If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
29. Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
30. Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
31. Act like आप are retarded.
32. When he's telling आप what आप did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
33. Mumble to yourself.
34. When he tells आप to stop, say what are आप talkin about, DUDE?
35. Drive to Dunkin डोनट and say hmmm....only 5 of आप here tonight.......
36. Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
37. When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
38. Ask if he watches Cops.
39. Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
40. Giggle if he did.
41. Talk to your hand.
42. Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five प्रिय Friends.
43. Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
44. When he frisks you, say आप missed a spot, and grin.
45. When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
46. Try to sell him your car.
47. Ask if आप can buy his car.
48. If he takes आप to the station, Ask to sit in front.
49. Play with the siren.
50. If आप know him, say आप had his wife for dinner.
51. If आप don't know him, ask if आप can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for dinner
52. Ask if he ever had pu-tang er.
53. If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
54. If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
55. When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
56. When आप are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
57. Turn your head and whistle.
58. When he pulls out his night stick, say what आप gonna do with that.
59. If आप are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
60. If he sticks आप in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
61. Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
62. Tell him आप like men in uniform.
63. Ask if आप can borrow his uniform for a हैलोवीन party
Feel free to use them
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the भालू wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I प्यार आप in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
1.Your mom
2.Dick
3.Eat it bitch
4.That's what she said
5. The future is bulletproof and the aftermath is secondary
6.Forshizz
7.Holy cannibal cupcake!
8.IDEK
9.Hey ho,let's go!
10.In Soviet Russia,the भालू wrestles you
11.Chuck Norris was here
12.Apple cake
13.Bloody bastards!
14.Ya know,I was welcomed to the black parade
15.Take my fucking hand and suck my thumb
16.Eat the children raw
17.RAWR means I प्यार आप in Italian
18.I will carry on with the black parade
19.So long and goodnight
20.Ya know,I live life on the murder scene
The Engineer
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty लोकप्रिय guy.
One दिन God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here या I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are आप going to get a lawyer?"
An engineer dies and reports to hell.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty लोकप्रिय guy.
One दिन God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here या I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are आप going to get a lawyer?"
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