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posted by APWBD112
So this is a part from a story I'm लेखन and I was wondering if anyone like's this shit so tell me what आप think......

While they were walking through the forest Arianna noticed that Alex didn’t have many armors, she was a warriors right didn’t they need a lot of these? “Hey Alex I was….” but she didn’t say anything और Alex turned around quick and कहा “Don’t call me Alex here my name is Velocius Quam Ceteris it mean faster then the rest……” and she turned around again. “Huh okay, but I was thinking don’t आप need और of आप know armor are आप save like this?” “Faster then the rest I don’t need any armor” she said. What ever had happened Alex was different, like all of her laughter had been sucked away. “But Alex….I’m sorry Velocius can I call आप Vel?” she asked “My फ्रेंड्स call me Vivos it’s shorter then Velocius but it sill means the same but the masters call me that…..” she कहा and when she कहा master it sounded like she didn’t like to say it like there was something about it something Arianna had never heard from her friend. It was a beautiful weather the sun was shining and cast shadows all over the place. It was like magic. Then Arianna started thinking were they were going they had been walking for hours. “Humm Vivos where are we going?” Vivos stopped and waited for Arianna to walk right अगला to her. “We are going to the घर house where I live now” she said. “How far is it from here?” Arianna asked “About five minutes”. After a long walk they finally reach the “home house”. It was very big almost like a castle. It had big doors that where deep red and the windows where in the same color but every thing else was black या grey. It was very different from the environment that was so colorful and pretty. Vivos (Alex) knocked on the door on the same time an light brown centaur opened the door from the other side. Arianna thought it was very weird to see an actual centaur but after every thing else she had heard this दिन it was almost very normal. The centaur had black hair and a very strong face that कहा “watch out” he was very scary, he had scars all over his body and an bow and arrows on his back. “Welcome Vivos, who is with आप today?” he said, his voice was very dark and deep. “This is Arianna she just came from the other world. I knew her before I came here Diligunt” Vivos कहा and bowed for Diligunt the centaur. Diligunt looked at Arianna “Yes I can see she is new here, come in Sapiens has been waiting for you” Vivos was shocked to hear the name Sapiens, she stood up slowly and walk in the castle. Diligunt walked beside her at the right and Arianna at the left. Arianna heard Diligaunt whisper to Vivos “Don’t worry Vivos, Sapiens can’t harm आप wile I am still here” at the सेकंड he कहा that Arianna looked around. As आप walked in there was a stair ahead of you, a big one, on the walls where golden candle stick and paintings of the woods and the wild life. They walked up the stairs and after an hallway. There was no one around there it was all empty. They walked trough an wooden door and in to a big hall. In the hall where maybe thousands of centaurs of all kinds. Tall, small, dark, light, women, men and even children and they all looked up to an big black, strong centaur that stood above them all on a some kind of a pedestal and looked over everyone. With out even thinking about it Arianna knew that this must be Sapiens the one Vivos was so afraid of. “We have a guest today, a human from the other world a friend of Velocius that we all care for so much” Diligunt shouted over the crowd. Arianna felt all the eyes that where looking at her but then…“Velocius come up here” it was Sapiens he shouted over the crowd. Vivos walked slowly over to the pedestal where Sapiens stood. He looked angry. “Where have आप been Vivos I was starting to be afraid of you” he said. Vivos whisper something back that no one could here. “This meeting is over everyone know what to do now go” Sapiens shouted over the crowd and then he took Vivos to a room in the back. Arianna was afraid what would she do when Vivos was gone and then Diligunt कहा with his deep voice “Vivos will be talking to Sapiens for a minuet, I will lead आप to your room” and looked to Arianna. “Oh okay thanks I guess” Arianna said. All of the centaurs walked out of the hall and walked in all different ways. Diligunt showed Arianna where to go. The गढ़, महल was where complicated it had all those hallways doors and stairs. It was still very pretty but still so cold. When Arianna and Diligunt had walked around all of the गढ़, महल (Arianna felt) they got to a room it was very different from the rest of the castle. It wasn’t cold and gray it was warm and sweet. It had many different rugs all over the floor, an big बिस्तर up to the दीवार a आग place in the corner with a two sofas around it. “This is Vivos room I hope आप will like it here”

now be honest..
***Lol this was probably a lot funnier to the drunk people who wrote it at three in the morning but.... here आप go xD

Or if you'd just rather check it out on youtube:
link

I wanna be a grizzly bear, so beary bad
Stealin' honey from bees just to make them mad
I wanna live in the forest with, Booboo and Yogi
So we can steal picnic baskets as three

Oh every time I close my eyes...
I see the back of my eyelids
And I bet आप didn't know this
I swear, the world is unprepared for when I'm a Grizzly bear

Yeah I would climb trees like bears do
And probably attack you, not an every day
Hike in the forest
I'd probably...
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*If I had forgetten something else please let me know thanks :) :P*



So, long पूर्व me and my brother Kyle here
We was hitch hiking down a long lone-some road
When all of a sudden, there shined the shining demon..
And he said!
"Play the best song in the world..or I'll eat your souls..."
So we each looked at each other and कहा "OK!"
So we played the song that just so happened to be! The best song in the world! It was the best song in the world! Look into my eyes and its easy to see when a one makes two and two and one makes destiny...
Once every thousand years या so,
Is when the sun dont shine and the...
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(CREATED द्वारा RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can मिटाइए the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused द्वारा Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle आप with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a दिल attack; his दिल lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
Christian quotes...

"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God."
- George H.W. झाड़ी, बुश

"ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS AND NON BELIEVERS ARE THE TRUE CRIMINALS OF THE WORLD COMMUNITY" - tencommandments.org

"How can there be peace when drunkards, drug dealers, communists, atheists, New Age worshipers of Satan, secular humanists ... and homosexuals are on top?"
- Pat Robertson

"... atheism is none other than raw depravity - the diabolical principle at work in people who dishonor their parents, murder, lie and commit...
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posted by ShiningsTar542
The story we have for आप today is one of love, friendship, and how to co-exist.

Salati is a leopard that was adopted द्वारा the Brooker family in South Africa. The family helps to rehabilitate जानवर that are injured. Salati came to the Brooker family when it was just a cub, and instantly became फ्रेंड्स with Tommy, a golden retriever. Tommy was also a कुत्ते का बच्चा, पिल्ला at the time.

आप would think that a friendship between this unlikely pair would be impossible. But no. The two जानवर connected from the first moment. Now the two जानवर are fully grown and they are still friends. They spend time together running, playing, sleeping, whatever!

They have left behind the stereotype of cat and dog and found friendship instead.
1)Devise a secret code with your फ्रेंड्स then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask सवालों so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s सवालों in slow motion 2)Answer सवालों only with one word
3)Scream बिना सोचे समझे words without anybody noticing it’s you
4)Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
5)Ask your professor personal questions
6)Every time the professor finishes talking clap
7)Eat paper
8)Talk very fast
9)Call the professor “Mom” या “Dad”
10)Count your hair
11)Talk with an accent
12)Answer सवालों in a different language
13)Fake spasms
14)Pretend...
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 Hayley
Hayley
WARNING:The following लेख contains,inappropriate materiel and foreign swearing.


*One दिन at lunch*

Kara:Sigh.

Bell:What's the matter Kara?

Kara:Well a साल ago,I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with my so called best friend.Ungrateful bitch.

Johnathan:Well आप don't have to worry about that here,I doubt anybody here wants Max.

Everybody:What?

Johnathan:Keep playing dumb Max,keep playing dumb.

Mellisa:I hate you.

Bell:Kara,how about I come over to your place and we do uhh...Girl stuff.

James:Yeah,let's do girl stuff.

Kara:Shut up James आप creepy stalker.

James:W-What?

*Kara pushes James on...
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Over the many years of pikachu,if आप look closely पिकाचू has been getting thinner and thinner.When it started he was this cute,fat little chunk of Pokemon,but now he's a skinny little freak.Which can only me one thing....Ash has forced him to become bulimic!
*Dramatizations*
____________________________________
Ash:Jeez,Pikachu your so fat!

Pikachu:Pika?

________________________

Ash:Loose some weight आप fat bastard!

Pikachu:Pika?!
_________________________________________

Ash:No stop eating!Your just gonna get fatter!

*Ash shoves his finger down pikachu's throat to make him vomit his खाना up.Pikachu...
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posted by gossipgirlxoxo
1. Shave one eyebrow.

2. Chain yourself to your roommate's bed. Get him/her to bring आप food.

3. Spill a lot of बीयर, बियर on his/her bed. Swim.

4. Clip your fingernails and toenails and keep them in a baggie. Leave the baggie near your computer and snack from it while studying. If s/he walks by, grab the bag close and eye him/her suspiciously.

5. Stare at your roommate for five मिनटों out of every hour. Don't say anything, just stare.

6. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

7. Keep a हम्सटर as a pet. Buy a blender,...
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posted by thespikedturtle
Ugh...

Everywhere around me at school, I see smoking, fighting, and cursing, I think it's ridiculous. Of course, I don't do any of that, I'm the one आप may think of as a nerd. Unfortunately, द्वारा today's standards, "being a nerd" actualy means "doing what's right."

I have musical talents, I can't be humble on that. I'm also pretty smart, I hardly ever study, but I've gotten honor roll all my life. When a lot of people think of me, they think of the talents I have, not my personality. And to me, personality is everything, and I think that's the way it was supposed to be. But all that matters today...
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User: I didn't know आप could play Twister all द्वारा yourself.


Cleverbot: I didn't know आप could play the cello online either.


User: Cat got your tongue, because there's an extra one here.


Cleverbot: No the dog actually. But close.


User: I for one feel bad for the chicken.


Cleverbot: आप spelled fear wrong...

User: Would a redhead wear a red blouse? That's a rhetorical question.

Cleverbot: Probably, but he या she wouldn't want to admit it.

User: I don't know, I didn't write it down.

Cleverbot: I'm going to copy and paste it so that आप can see that आप di.

User: Too bad it wasn't a learn how to swim patch....
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posted by woowie
Kat: आप spin my head right 'round, right 'round-
Zapnis: DONCHA WISH YO GIRLFRIEND WAS HOT LIKE ME-
Kat: I'D LIKE TO MAKE MYSELF BELIEVE-
Zapnis: I KISSED A GIRL-
Doofenshmirtz: SHUT UP ALREADY! I'M TRYING TO WORK ON MY TOASTINATOR!
*Zim comes in*
Zim: SURRENDER NOW HUMANS!
Kat: Uhh, Zap and I aren't humans, and आप know us-
Zim: Shut up, girl!
Gir: AH LIKE TACOS!
*Mermaidman comes in*
Kat: I WANT YO प्यार AND I WANT YO REVENGE-
Mermaidman: EEEVIL!
*Bloo from Foster's walks in*
Bloo: AH AM PIERRE'S COUSIN! I HAVE ZE EAR ON ZE SAHD OF MAH FECE!
Kat: AH AM PIERRE'S GIRLFRIEND!
All: ◎_◎
Kat: WHAT!?
Doof: Leave now everyone! Kat, आप stay since आप live here.
*everyone leaves*
Doof: I'm going back to bed.
Kat: Me too.
DO आप wanna know reasons why Alice Cullen is better then any werewolf out there ( espeshally Leah Clearwater)???? Well read on to see 10 reasons why.............



Oh ya if your a Leah Clearwater प्रशंसक then आप might not wanna read this but if आप do and it affends आप then leave a टिप्पणी दे and i can tell आप in person why your sooo stupid and ya i worned आप so..................

TEN REASONS WHY ALICE IS BETTER THEN LEAH!!!

1. Alice is acually nice unlike Leah who made Bella cry for no reason at all ( Breaking Dawn)

2. Leah doesn't care about other people she only cares about herself well Alice does...
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1) Pick up cat and पालना it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. पालना in left arm an repeat process.

3)Retreive cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, craddle in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand . Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger....
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posted by werewolflover
Yeah,this is the first लेख I've written,so it probably won't be good.
O.K I have a 7 साल old niece and she might not seem evil,but trust me she is.If आप met her you'd think she was a sweet,little angel
Her mom,my sis Heather,got married a few years ago.Well the man she married had 2 kids.Ever since she lived with them,she's been evil.
She tells my mom No
She tells us she hates us.She thinks she's the boss.She hits me and then says I hit her first(i'm old enough to know आप don't hit when आप don't get what आप want)She calls me fat.she can't take a joke and then says im fat and don't "play"because I don't like being outside and hate sports.There's और but I don't really want to write anymore.Tell me what आप think in टिप्पणियाँ please:)
posted by ihavOTD
 I am Anti- Miley because of this:
I am Anti- Miley because of this:
OH MY GOSH! I was just watching stupid HM and near the end, Miley and Lily started talking about-guess who? ROBERT PATTINSON. That's sick. here is their convo:(at least what though I heard)

" It's just sad that आप can't find a bf..." Lily says.
" Yeah... Hey, I guess Hannah can तारीख, दिनांक Robert Pattinson!" Miley says
" Oh....Robert Pattinson is SO dreamy...."
Thats sickening Disney. I feel bad for Rob. He can't hide ANYWHERE...
Really, do आप realize how crazy and gross a lot of प्रशंसकों are???? Here is a gross लेख about some crazed fans:

Robert Pattinson Approached द्वारा “Gross”, “Bleeding”...
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Chapter 2—Canada . . . eh.
    Okay, so this is an ई मेल to my friend who moved to Canada…eh. Her name is Brenna. Eh. I just thought id include it for your benefit. Eh.

“Lahdiedahdiedahdoodoodahdohetehtakwjeorna!
that is my new प्रिय song, just so आप know. omg ;i wrote और in
my big book of nothingness, but im at school, so i don’t have it with
me:( its cool it deals with begging for money, गिलहरी clothing,
headband helmets, and furry insides! i bet u can’t wait! ha-ha! yay for
the awesome book of nothingness! i put the first part of it on the
internet and ppl thought...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
added by H888H