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posted by evangelinetom
101 Ways to
Annoy Your Roomate

1. Insist that आप are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the बिस्तर holding your stomach every time your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say आप know nothing about them.

2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors द्वारा your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.

3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as आप can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't आप be going now?"

4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for him/her to come home.then act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, they, were here again."

5. Every time आप see your roommate yell, "You jerk" and kick him/her in the stomach. Then immediately buy him/her some ice cream.

6. Set your roommate's बिस्तर on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been cold lately.

7. Put your glasses on before आप go to bed. Take them off as soon as आप wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.

8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but आप can't say anything more, या you'll have to face the consequences.

9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.

10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that आप are in training. Eat a dozen डोनट every night.

11. Every Thursday, pack up everything आप own and tell your roommate you're going home. Come back in an घंटा and explain that no one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.

12. Every time आप wake up, start yelling, "Help! Where the hell am I?!?", then run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to bed. If your roommate asks, say आप don't know what he/she is talking about.

13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."

14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the napkin. Throw everything else away.

15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.

16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the clown pops out. Scream continuously for ten minutes.

17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.

18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this up for several hours. When आप finally let your roommate in, immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.

20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't be here much longer."

21. If your roommate comes घर after midnight, hit him/her on the head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."

22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that आप don't know how they got there.

23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are आप dying?"

25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."

26. Keep a टारेंटयुला in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here somewhere."

27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When आप recover, say आप can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.

29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery. Start walking backwards again.

30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

31. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of bacon.

32. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that आप are hungry.

33. पंच a hole in the T.V. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining about the lack of good shows.

34. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an घंटा every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The अगला day, start standing in front of the window again.

35. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."

36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that आप feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.

37. Cover your बिस्तर with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your roommate to bring आप खाना and water.

38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it gone?"

39. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain that आप were hot. Open and close the broken window as आप normally would.

40. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited, telling your roommate that आप hit the bull's eye.

41. Send फूल to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." When आप see them, start ripping up the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.

42. Call your roommate "Clyde" द्वारा accident. Start doing so every so often. Increase the frequency over the अगला few weeks, until आप are calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say, "I'm sorry, Elmer. Repeat process with Elmer.

43. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while आप are sleeping.

45. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.

46. When your roommate comes in, pretend that आप are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After आप hang up, say, "That was your mom. She कहा she'd call back."

47. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay, guys, आप can come out now."

48. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells आप to do anything,tell him/her आप are the ruler.

49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing. Finally stand up & yell,"I Lost!"

50. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

51. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a fine.

52. Scatter stuffed जानवर around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

53. Hang a tire झूला, स्विंग from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If someone besides your roommate comes in, cease अभिनय like a monkey and claim that the tire झूला, स्विंग was your roommate's idea. When आप and your roommate are alone again, continue अभिनय like a monkey.

54. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's possessions out the window. Say that the टोअस्टर, टोस्टर made आप do it.

55. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he refuses, claim that आप have won द्वारा forfeit and therefore conquered his side of the room. Insist that he remove all of his possessions immediately.

56. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour guide, etc.)

57. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that आप are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses आप of not having any Native-American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.

58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly complain that your feet hurt.

59. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that आप were trying to kill a mosquito.

60. Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks about it, tell him/her that आप traded it for some magic beans. Give some beans to your roommate.

61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the अगला day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.

62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a दीवार for a while, and then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't do that."

63. Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the end of the week, रिपोर्ट that someone has released the genie from the lamp. Blame your roommate.

64. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do so. Then insist आप need to दिखाना him/her the proper way & brush their teeth.

65. Collect potato chips that आप think look like famous people. Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It had to be done."

66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson! Oh, wow! 753-4795! Holy cow!")

67. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your shadow can't box with आप anymore due to an injury. Ask your roommate if आप can box with his/her shadow.

68. Ask your roommate about their medical plan. If they ask why आप are asking just say, "Accidents happen." Make it obvious that आप are trying to cover up your laughter.

69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate is missing. Offer a reward for his/her सुरक्षित return.

70. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your roommate if the तरबूज can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says no, drop the तरबूज out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.

71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say, "Don't worry. It's not what आप think." If he/she asks about it again, immediately change the subject.

72. Tell other people in your building that your roommate is goind to be "going on a trip" shortly. Don't tell them where या when. If people ask your roommate where he/she is going, cut in and say "Oh...that has been canceled."

73. Paint a tunnel on the दीवार like they do in cartoons. Every day, hit your head as आप attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head and grumble, "I'll get that pesky road runner...."

74. Leave memos on your roommate's बिस्तर that say things like, "I know what आप did," and "Don't think आप can fool me." Sign them in blood.

75. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.

76. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd like to have a conversation.

77. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck.

78. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

79. Buy a telescope. Sit on your बिस्तर and look across the room at your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for आप to see.

80. Offer your roommate some of your most valuable possesions. If they ask about your generosity, say nothing but "I won't need it where I'm going." If they take anything wait a week and insist they give it back. If they want to know why say "I was left behind", and crawl into बिस्तर crying.

81. Watch "Psycho" every दिन for a month. Then act excited every time your roommate goes to take a shower.

82. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and pout.

83. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and making बिना सोचे समझे corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that आप just couldn't take it anymore.

84. Tell your roommate that आप "just want to be friends", and that आप can no longer take their advances. Wait an घंटा and ask them to शामिल होइए आप in the shower.

85. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and लपेटें your head in bandages. When आप see your roommate, look above the door where the horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid horseshoe...."

86. Buy फ्रोज़न meals and leave them under a lamp on your desk. If your roommate warns आप that the meals will go bad simply say, "I know what I'm doing." While your roommate is out empty the meal containers such that it looks like you've eaten them. When your roommate return pretend to be violently ill. Do this twice a week.

87. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin गाना famous operas as loud as आप can. When your roommate turns on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.

88. Hang a बास्केटबाल, बास्केटबॉल, बास्केट बॉल net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator to बास्केटबाल, बास्केटबॉल, बास्केट बॉल games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so for about a month. Confide in your roommate that आप think the refrigerator is plotting against you.

89. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how much आप प्यार lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow. From then on, complain about how much आप hate lemonade.

90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories involving आप and your roommate.

91. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about half an hour. Come out looking dazed and act terrified of your roommate, keeping a good distance.

92. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to शामिल होइए you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."

93. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's going to be a murder in the room.

94. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.

95. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your roommate आप think the झींगा मछली, समुद्री झींगा has a marked deck.

96. Make पेनकेक्स every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't evolving into a self-sufficient community. Confide in your roommate that आप think the king of the पेनकेक्स has been taking bribes.

97. While आप are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a garbage can आग in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside. If your roommate objects, explain that आप are just trying to get even.

98. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down the hall.

99. Hide small containers of दूध in your roommate's half of the room. After they begin to smell complain to your roommate about the odor. If your roommate finds them and claim that they aren't theirs, acknowledge that आप put them there, but tell them "They were on your half of the room. आप should be और responsible."

100. Put out a plate of कुकीज़ at night. Tell your roommate that they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the कुकीज़ while your roommate is asleep. The अगला morning, accuse your roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to tell आप the Sandman did it, insist that आप know what the Sandman's teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's teeth marks.

101. If your roommate has a pet, offer to feed their pet for them. Start taking bottles of glue and white out from your डेस्क before your roommate can answer.
added by asmaortonfan
added by Darkshine
Source: गूगल
posted by MineTurtle
BTW, this isn't mine. It was originally written द्वारा XxEmolovexX. Copied word for word.

Dad comes घर drunk and mad.
He pulls out a gun.
And shoots his wife then turns the gun on himself.

The little girl sits behind the couch, crying.

The police came and took the little girl to an orphanage.

She walks into the bedroom, and there is a picture of येशु on the cross.

Girl: How did that man get off that?
Teacher: He didn't
Girl: Yes he did!
Teacher: No he didn't
Girl: Yes he did! He always sat अगला to me when my parents fought, and he told me everything would be okay.

Post this as 'Jesus story' (any place)?
Don't ignore this.

64 percent of आप won't re-post this.

आप never know who might be watching. Remember: the Bible says If आप deny येशु in front of your friends, He will deny आप in front of his Father.
This world will fall under the hands of evil, darkness and shadows shall destroy this world.....the ultimate power of the darkness shall prevail. All of my enemies shall be destroyed द्वारा this darkness...Only the worthy people will survive. All of the not worthy people shall be enslaved द्वारा the twisted turns of the darkness. जानवर will be turned और scarier...some humans will become frightful......and I shall have the ultimate power!, let आग and ice come alive along with darkness.....dragons shall rise and inhabit this planet....The skies will turn black and red and the ground will turn to metal.......robot यूनिकॉर्न will dance...the dance of....evil...Heavy Metal will come alive and there will be peace among every awesome human on this Earth....come and शामिल होइए me as I take over this silly little planet....everyone will bow down to me and only me,.....I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!, mwhahahaha >:)
In my opnion when it comes to friendship it means that आप and the people आप care about stick together for periods of time until आप get to know one another.

However, not a lot of people are like this. In my case, I may have over a dozen प्रशंसकों but a percentage of them even talk to me nor do they know who I am and what I meant to be on here for. Don't get me wrong a few of the प्रशंसकों I have are very nice to me. Whenver I talk to them I always feel welcomed, safe, secured, and better. But when I am being treated unfairly या being abused या played around it makes me angry, sad, depressed, and unhappy....
continue reading...
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the प्यार of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'


Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if आप get घर before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be...
continue reading...
posted by AngelVicki427
I put up this लेख just to inform u on how horrible animaal cruelty is, not to be negative या anything.
__________________________________________________
One rapidly growing concept is animal cruelty.
Animal cruelty simply means cruel unwarranted treatment of animals. Such treatment generally has a single point program - to subject जानवर and sometimes pets to unnecessary harm and pain. One major type of animal cruelty is torture.
Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse in the United States.
Scientists estimate that 100 species go extinct every day! That's...
continue reading...
added by 3xZ
Source: 3xZ
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