रोटी IS DANGEROUS
Why? Judge for yourself:
Research on रोटी indicates that
1. और than 98 percent of convicted felons are रोटी users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all रोटी was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. और than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. रोटी is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats और रोटी than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no रोटी exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. रोटी has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of रोटी and दिया only water to eat begged for रोटी after as little as two days.
8. रोटी is often a "gateway" खाना item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, मूंगफली, मूंगफली का butter, and even cold cuts.
9. रोटी has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is और than 90 percent water, it follows that eating रोटी could lead to your body being taken over द्वारा this absorptive खाना product, turning आप into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn शिशु can choke on bread.
11. रोटी is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American रोटी eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following रोटी restrictions be made:
1. No sale of रोटी to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all रोटी to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal या human images, nor any primary रंग (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote रोटी usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
Why? Judge for yourself:
Research on रोटी indicates that
1. और than 98 percent of convicted felons are रोटी users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all रोटी was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. और than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. रोटी is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats और रोटी than that in one month!
6. Primitive tribal societies that have no रोटी exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. रोटी has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of रोटी and दिया only water to eat begged for रोटी after as little as two days.
8. रोटी is often a "gateway" खाना item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, मूंगफली, मूंगफली का butter, and even cold cuts.
9. रोटी has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is और than 90 percent water, it follows that eating रोटी could lead to your body being taken over द्वारा this absorptive खाना product, turning आप into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.
10. Newborn शिशु can choke on bread.
11. रोटी is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American रोटी eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.
In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following रोटी restrictions be made:
1. No sale of रोटी to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all रोटी to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal या human images, nor any primary रंग (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote रोटी usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
