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Application For Permission To तारीख, दिनांक My Daughter
Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied द्वारा a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical रिपोर्ट from your physician.


Name:
तारीख, दिनांक of Birth:
Height:
Weight:
IQ:
GPA:
Social Security Number:
Driver's License Number:
Boy Scout Rank:
Telephone:
घर Address:
City:
State:
Zip:



Do आप have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:



Number of years your parents have been married: ____
Any brothers या sisters? ____
Are they normal? ____


Do आप own या have access to a van? ____
A truck with oversize tires? ____
A waterbed? ____


Do आप have an earring, nose ring, या belly button ring? ____


Do आप have a tattoo? ____

If आप have answered YES to #3, #4 या #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.


In fifty words या less, what does Late mean to you?





In fifty words या less, what does Don't touch my daughter mean to you?





In fifty words या less, what does Abstinence mean to you?





In fifty words या less, what does Real Pain mean to you?





Church/Temple आप attend: ____________________________

How often do आप attend: ____________________________


When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi? ____________________________



Please fill in the blanks:


If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ____________________________


If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my ____________________________


A woman's place is in the ____________________________


The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________


When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________________

Note: If answer begins with "T" या "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised





What do आप want to be if आप grow up?





I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture या mental abuse.
Signature of applicant _________________________________

Signature of father _____________________________________

Signature of mother ____________________________________

Signature of priest/rabbi ___________________________________

Signature of State Representative _________________________



Thank आप for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. आप will be contacted in लेखन if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.
added by Sen_Kagemiya
added by deidaraisgod
added by 050801090907
added by HarleyQuinn1
added by dustfinger
added by IZlover48
Source: epicfail.com
added by liridonarama96
Source: yep...woow
added by TokioSmosh
Source: My mom
added by Jeffersonian
added by Helen-Lover
posted by Bluekait
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program. The अगला day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 साल old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If आप can catch me, आप can have me."

Without a सेकंड thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later puffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the अगला four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs...
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i wanna tell आप something and आप better listen good here.If there's something आप really enjoy and आप have a huge dream that your really passionate about then go after it.Don't be afraid to follow your दिल because your दिल will lead आप to the right direction.Don't let anyone discourage आप and idc who the heck they are.You are always going to meet 2 people in your life.One person will discourage आप and tell आप that आप are never gonna make it and the other person will encourage आप to follow आप dreams and will believe in you.They will want आप to follow your dreams.So listen to that...
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posted by E-Scope90
I'm not trying to be abusive in any way, I just found this. I didn't write this.


Approximately 1-2% of humans, या about two in 100 people in the world, have red hair.j
The ancient Greeks believed that redheads would turn into वैंपायर after they died.i
Otherwise dark hair may turn red या blond in cases of severe protein deficiency due to starvation.c
Red is the rarest hair color in humans
The most rare hair color in humans is red.b
During the Middle Ages, a child with red hair was thought to be conceived during “unclean sex” या during menstruation.b
Red hair doesn’t gray as much as other hair...
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This बत्तख, बतख walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do आप have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the बत्तख, बतख leaves.

The अगला day, the बत्तख, बतख returns and asks, "Do आप have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the बत्तख, बतख leaves.

The दिन after that, the बत्तख, बतख walks in the store again and asks "Do आप have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told आप no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if आप come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...
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1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read सवालों aloud, वाद-विवाद your जवाब with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that आप can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this सवाल on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into...
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Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make प्यार with आप
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until आप find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit आप first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of आप shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give आप a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...
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