1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I चुरा लिया a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag आप down and beat आप with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make आप Christian even और then standing in a गेराज makes आप a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the सूची though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at घर even if आप wish they were.

8. I thought I wanted a career- turns out all I wanted was paychecks.

9. At a train station a train stops. At a bus station a bus stops. At my desk, I have a work station. Thats where my work stops.

10. When tempted to fight आग with आग remember the आग department usually uses water.

11. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

12. You're never too old to learn something extremely stupid.

13. I'm not crazy- I'm just mentally insane.

14. Don't die. Its bad for your health.

15. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured द्वारा a white शार्क या if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

16. why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for miss america?