Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The दिन came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing आप know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now आप sir?', he asked the सेकंड man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and आप don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' कहा the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very लोकप्रिय cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, आप step out of the house and on the दीवार there's a light switch. When आप flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the खलिहान comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the पूर्व three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' कहा the interviewer, stunned द्वारा the response.
'Oh sure', कहा BUBBA. 'You see, the other दिन I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, या TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The दिन came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing आप know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now आप sir?', he asked the सेकंड man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and आप don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' कहा the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very लोकप्रिय cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, आप step out of the house and on the दीवार there's a light switch. When आप flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the खलिहान comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the पूर्व three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' कहा the interviewer, stunned द्वारा the response.
'Oh sure', कहा BUBBA. 'You see, the other दिन I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, या TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
Joey = Nobody Panic. We've got cook books. If आप can read English, आप can cook. For Instance. Basic रोटी stuffing, melt one third cup of मक्खन in a heavy skillet.
Danny = That's easy. On a stove,right?
Jesse = No, no. We stick मक्खन on a rocket ship and send it to the sun.
Joey = Good Morning! How आप guys doing? It's great to be alive. happy Thanksgiving,Buddy!
Jesse = Why can't आप wake up grumpy and grouchy like normal people?
Michelle = आप got it, dude.
Michelle = I hope I'm getting paid for this.
Michelle = But he tempted me with Ice cream!!!!
Becky = Jesse!!!!
Michelle = And it had sprinkles, and a cherry!!!
Joey = Freeze! I have a baby and I know how to use it.
Jesse = Joey!
Joey = I'm warning you, she's loaded.
Jesse = Have Mercy!
DJ = Uncle Jesse, there's a girl here to see you. This one's great
Jesse = That must be my new गिटार student.
DJ = Yeah,right.
Danny = That's easy. On a stove,right?
Jesse = No, no. We stick मक्खन on a rocket ship and send it to the sun.
Joey = Good Morning! How आप guys doing? It's great to be alive. happy Thanksgiving,Buddy!
Jesse = Why can't आप wake up grumpy and grouchy like normal people?
Michelle = आप got it, dude.
Michelle = I hope I'm getting paid for this.
Michelle = But he tempted me with Ice cream!!!!
Becky = Jesse!!!!
Michelle = And it had sprinkles, and a cherry!!!
Joey = Freeze! I have a baby and I know how to use it.
Jesse = Joey!
Joey = I'm warning you, she's loaded.
Jesse = Have Mercy!
DJ = Uncle Jesse, there's a girl here to see you. This one's great
Jesse = That must be my new गिटार student.
DJ = Yeah,right.
Kate: then she she was all like OH NO आप did NOT! then she did the worst thing ever!
Liz: What's that? किस your boy friend?
Kate: No not that bad!
Liz: Did she mess up your hair?!
Kate: Wores.
Liz: Break your leg?
Kate: no.
Liz: Tell ya mom about that night with daved?
Kate: I told आप not to remind me of that!
Liz: sorry. What?
Kate: SHE BROKE MY NAIL!
LIZ: NO!
Kate: Yes!
Liz: Ooooooo! When I get to school tomorrow she is gonna GET IT! All that other stuff was NOT as bad as this! mostly breaking your leg. How dumb is that!
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Hope ya guys liked it! I just came up with it just a सेकंड ago. well tell me what आप think!I am planing on making और short storys so keep an eye out. bye. I LIKE PIE! GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK!
Liz: What's that? किस your boy friend?
Kate: No not that bad!
Liz: Did she mess up your hair?!
Kate: Wores.
Liz: Break your leg?
Kate: no.
Liz: Tell ya mom about that night with daved?
Kate: I told आप not to remind me of that!
Liz: sorry. What?
Kate: SHE BROKE MY NAIL!
LIZ: NO!
Kate: Yes!
Liz: Ooooooo! When I get to school tomorrow she is gonna GET IT! All that other stuff was NOT as bad as this! mostly breaking your leg. How dumb is that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hope ya guys liked it! I just came up with it just a सेकंड ago. well tell me what आप think!I am planing on making और short storys so keep an eye out. bye. I LIKE PIE! GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK!
1. The coffee-flavored donut.
2. The ShamWOW!
3. Middle school या any school in particular
4. Baseball cards
5. Jell-o with fruit/vegetable bits in it
6. Misquitoes
7. Bees!!!!!!!!
8. Wasps!!!!
9. People who think they have ESP
10. Math
11. The पॉपकॉर्न ball
12. A गाना बास्केटबाल, बास्केटबॉल, बास्केट बॉल (yes they're real)
13. Hippopttomonstrousequippedillaphopia (fear of long words.)
14. Antelopes
15. automatic soap dispensers
2. The ShamWOW!
3. Middle school या any school in particular
4. Baseball cards
5. Jell-o with fruit/vegetable bits in it
6. Misquitoes
7. Bees!!!!!!!!
8. Wasps!!!!
9. People who think they have ESP
10. Math
11. The पॉपकॉर्न ball
12. A गाना बास्केटबाल, बास्केटबॉल, बास्केट बॉल (yes they're real)
13. Hippopttomonstrousequippedillaphopia (fear of long words.)
14. Antelopes
15. automatic soap dispensers
आप held it all in
I should’ve put the आग out
आप were in pain and it’s all my fault
The days I fought with you
It stuck to me like glue
Baby I just kept hurting you
And it’s all my fault
आप bled but no one heard
आप were screaming, no one bothered to hear
I should’ve wiped away all your tears
This is my fault
So just forget about me
Babe I know this isn’t what आप wanted it to be
आप were bleeding, crying, drowning, dying
I’m telling the truth this time, this time it’s my fault
Everything I ever did was my fault
I should’ve put the आग out
आप were in pain and it’s all my fault
The days I fought with you
It stuck to me like glue
Baby I just kept hurting you
And it’s all my fault
आप bled but no one heard
आप were screaming, no one bothered to hear
I should’ve wiped away all your tears
This is my fault
So just forget about me
Babe I know this isn’t what आप wanted it to be
आप were bleeding, crying, drowning, dying
I’m telling the truth this time, this time it’s my fault
Everything I ever did was my fault