I'm so tired f being depressed. I didn't know why it started at first. In Ninth grade I started having this constant feeling inside and I didn't know what it was but, now I do. I have since 10th grade started. Life is so hard when you've been diagnosed with seve deepression and आप already knew आप have it. It's hard when people accuse आप of doing या being something your not. It's hard when people judge आप silently from afar या straight to your face. I don't cut bullshit like this though. When petty jerks give yoou ahard time just ignore them, I've learned that. I was bullied for 7 and a half years straight and it was BAD. And, now I'm insecure and give myself a hard time. I'm constantly beating myself up about my art, my body, my face, my hair, my grades, my idiocy, and just everything. I'm trying to get better I really am and if anything संगीत helps me escape from reality. That's why I constantly have earbuds in my ears या wearing headphones. I can connect to the संगीत that I lisen to like 'When she cries' या 'Welcome to my life'. The सूची is endless but, the thing is that so is my pain. No matter how hard I try it always come back. I can go a week and a half without being depressed and then it comes crashing back in like an unwanted guest. Forgive me for ranting but, I need to get this off my ches. I'm so glad that I can finally cry and release all the pain. I've been bottling it up for too long. The फ्रेंड्स surrounding me either do या don't know about this. Some know I'm depressed some don't. But, either way only one comforts me and I don't see her often. My great-grandmother thinks I do it for attention and my mom has too many problems of her own so, I don't bother her about it.The thing is, is that I just need to get this out. My chest can't take it anymore and neither can I myself in whole. It feels nice to get it all out. Like, the fact that i used to be anorexic as well... twice that is I was in 7th grade for a short while and then I also was in सेकंड semester of 10th grade. My best friend tried to make me at and my other फ्रेंड्स were concerned as well. At least the ones that knew. My other best friend still doesn't know I was. Anyways, there are somethings that I am ashamed of. I'm just so gld to get this off my chest and for anyone else suffering with depression या any other disorders या problems, stay strong. आप ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE. Don't let anyone get to आप including yourself. Be brave. Be strong. And remember to keep on living. आप are woth it and NOBODY deserves to go through the shit I have. Bullying, abuse, threats, none of that. Also, if आप have severe anxiety disorder like me या are just stressed in general. Keep staying strong and don't give into the stress. If your insecure like me look in the mirror and look at yourself flaws and all and say "This is me and I प्यार myself." even if आप don't think so because, trust me when I say "You are perfect just the way आप are." If आप are gay, bi, trans या anything else like that and आप still haven't come out. Stay strong and know आप are PERFECT just the way आप are. आप are a human being just like everyone else and, no matter how much hate people give आप embrace yourself and be proud of who आप are. I am bi and I am proud. Also, for the bi people who are being told "Your either gay या straight. आप can't like both." Don't listen to that bullshit. They don't know how आप feel. Don't let them get to you. To the gay people who are being told,"You chose this and your going to burn in hell." Don't listen to them. For ANYONE going through this या any other bullshit. Remember आप are better than the ones judging आप and that आप are BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT just the way आप are. I hope that I helped someone द्वारा saying that and I've realized that I WILL BE OKAY after this dark tunnel in life that I'm going through. I just want it to all be over soon. The pain that is. I'm tired of hating myself and feeling so alone. But, I'll make it and so will you.

Stay true to who आप are. Peace out <3<3<3