Critical Analysis of Twilight Club
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Credit to _lina_ and cinders, because they did it first. और credit to link because that's where this is from. _lina_ used the same one.

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Number 1: Someone tells आप या he admits that he has hit women in the past. He has talked about his killing sprees, he has killed another woman (Yes, she is a vampire. Who cares?) in front of her. Check!

Number 2: He refers to all women he has dated in the past with derogatory terms. He may also refer to his mother using such terms as well. Not sure about checking this one या not. He says she is the first one he dated, but then he talks of Tanya, the denali vampire, in a way that implies he doesn't like her at all. Half check.


Number 3: He tells आप of abuse he has witnessed या has been a part of toward women. When asked if he has ever sought counseling, he says, "No, I never felt I needed it." He may feel guilty about it and promise that he won't do it to you. He constantly talks about killing her, but later on he starts saying he could never do it to her. This is something he also does in the opposite way, saying he knows he could kill her. Eh, check!

Finds fault with all your family and फ्रेंड्स once आप have confided in him about them या he has met them. Later, he will use what he knows against आप in an argument. There is a part in the Twilight series, I'm pretty sure it was Eclipse, that Bella talks to edward about not wanting to talk to charlie about going to Florida. Edward then goes ahead and tells charlie about it. Half check. if आप want to टिप्पणी दे and tell me why it shouldn't be here, या should be a full check, please do.

Number 4:Shows up unannounced at your job, home, या places आप visit (may lead to stalking). May offer to take आप to any of these places on a daily basis so that आप may grow dependent on him. Hmmmmm.... Seriously. He breaks into her room at night and watches her sleep. He also drives her everywhere, even when she blatantly refuses. Major check!

Number 5: Calls आप often wanting to know your plans and in some cases आप may have already told him, but he may be checking to see if your story has changed. He expects आप to call him wherever आप go and will become angry if आप don't. Moments in breaking Dawn come to mind. Ditto with Eclipse. The सेकंड part (He expects आप to...) is probably और fitting then the first, but it still works. Check!

Number 6: He doesn't like who he is and makes regular references about himself as being "stupid," "ugly," "dumb," and asks you, "Why do आप want to be with me?" He will also resort to name calling whether he is arguing with आप या "just being funny." _lina_ nailed this on the head. If आप exchange "stupid", "ugly", and "dumb" for "murderer", "monster," and "killer", it works perfectly. The "Why do आप want to be with me?" explains itself.

Number 7: He attempts to control money आप have earned and abuses possessions that आप have acquired. He often asks for financial assistance, takes over your car and tells आप how आप should conduct your household. He may encourage आप to live with him so that he can further control you. A bit skeptical about this one. He doesn't ask for financial assistance या how to conduct her householf. However, he does buy her a new car and expects her to use it. Plus: the new car is मिसाइल proof. MISSILES. Also, Edward sets up Bella and Alice for sleepovers many times for when he leaves to go eat a mountain lion. Half check.

Number 8: He threatens to commit suicide when आप try to break up with him. Self explanatory. He literally attempted suicide. Check!

Number 9: He threatens to kill आप over anything from wanting to end the relationship to talking to other men. Well, he does get very, very mad at her when she talks to other guys, in particular, Jacob. Another half check.

Number 10: When he is angry with आप he keeps आप in a room with no access to a phone. He may lock आप in the room. Pretty much, he makes Alice kidnap her. He also took the engine out of her car once. check.

Number 11: When आप want to visit with a friend, go out to the फिल्में या some other past time, he oftentimes vehemently objects या he uses tactics to make आप feel guilty so that आप will stay home. I already mentioned that he took part of the engine out of her car. This was to keep her from seeing Jacob, he best friend. Check.

Number 12: He will try to convince आप that he is sorry for what he has done and will never do it again, only to do it again, and again. Pretty darn much. Check.



I hope now आप see the light and that, yes, Edward is abusive. If आप want to say why one of these should have been a Check!, a half-check, या nothing at all please say why in the comments. If आप have और reasons Edward is abusive, that is also a good place to put it.
added by marthatsal
posted by TriaRose
Dear Ms. Meyer,

Hi. I’m Tria. It’s nice to meet you. As आप have probably guessed, I am लेखन to आप concerning your series known as “The Twilight Saga.” If you’ll forgive me for being rude, I’d like to be blunt.

You fail.

Again, apologies for my rudeness. If you’ll allow me, I’m going to back up this assumption of your literary failure.

Let’s start with the plots, looking at each book individually, and then the पुस्तकें as a whole.
Twilight: Barely has a plot. The book is 300 या so pages of nothing happening besides mooning on about Edward and his eyes. Then आप throw in three...
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After पढ़ना the post "Bella as a heroine should be illegal" द्वारा bendaimmortal, it got me thinking. Obviously, no-one would consider Bella हंस a heroine. If आप do, आप have got a really great deal of imagination, या a warped sense of the world. Because, and I'm sure most Twilight प्रशंसकों would agree, the girl didn't do anything at all. Save being overly dramatic and being the damsel in distress.

What about the Cullens then? What about Carlisle, Alice, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett? What about He-Who-Sparkles-In-Broad-Daylight? Would they be considered heroes/heroines?

No.

I say that the Cullens...
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Note: It’s important for me to communicate that I don’t know the लेखक of Twilight या her family personally and I do not intend them any insult; this लेख is purely academic speculation inspired द्वारा a story which will remain a timeless work of art. It is the emotional accessibility of the work which makes commentary such as this possible. I may be projecting the whole thing… But that’s exactly why Twilight is so successful, because it invites us so welcomingly into the story!

Every प्रशंसक knows the story of the Twilight Saga.
There are many theories as to what makes the story such a pop-culture...
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As a प्रशंसक of Twilight, I am part of a lot of related spots and discussions. However, as a Jacob & Bella fan, I often find myself disagreeing with most of the opinions of Twilight fans. In this लेख I'll go through some टिप्पणियाँ I've read (slightly altered - don't want anyone out to get me!) and why I disagree with them. It's really just an informal rant. :P

'Edward & Bella have things in common unlike Jacob & Bella'

... What exactly? Let me guess: Classical music? Bella knows one song and suddenly they have something in common. They both read? When do we actually read of Bella reading...
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Soo, I read Twilight in 2005 and seriously thought it was the best thing I'd ever read, and never thought I'd read anything better. How young and stupidly naive I was!

When I first bought it, it was treasured, as were New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn & all the money wasting merchandise I purchased to. But over the past 2 years, I've seen the प्रशंसक base grow and grow and GROW into something that is just pretty hectic and down right ridiculous.

I personally feel sorry for the cast, especially Robert Pattinson. Poor guy, can't even walk out his front door without being mobbed. There's such thing...
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As someone who liked वैंपायर before the fad started I'm one of the many people who dislikes the Twilight vampires. And thinks they should be reclassified as pixies. या that at least Zombie Bram Stoker should go have a serious talk with Stephenie Meyer about vampires... What do आप mean Bram Stoker hasn't risen as a zombie in protest to the Twilight vampires? Why don't आप go prove it? I'll wait...

...

...They didn't come back, so I'm assuming Zombie Bram ate their brains. We'll have to carry on without them. Anyway, I must admit Meyerpires are an interpretation of the vampire myth I just don't...
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Disclaimer: The शीर्षक of the लेख may seem to be a bit strange, as most of my लेखाए that I have पोस्टेड on here are usually issues I have with the Twilight Saga, but I decided that myself as an anti, wanted to write about things I actually do like about the series. Guarantee, I actually do think Stephanie Meyer did create some characters in this series, and I just wanted to सूची my चोटी, शीर्ष 8. This will be in no particular order.
* * *
Jasper Hale

If hypothetically, I were to meet the Cullen, I would think that Jasper would be the only one I probably be remotely afraid of in any sort of way. Or...
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posted by KateKicksAss
I found these online, and thought they were kinda funny, :)
Credit: wiki answers, wattpad.com, b एल o g s p o t.com


How many Twilighters does it take to screw on a light bulb?
I don't know, they're all too busy fighting over who gets to be Mrs Cullen

What happened when Emmett Cullen stubbed his toe?
He made the whole city collapse!

Rosalie Hale was told to find something just as या और beautiful then herself. She came back with a mirror!

How do आप stop Jacob Black from attacking you?
You pick up a stick, throw it and yell "fetch"!

How do आप irritate Edward Cullen?
Buy him a dog and call it Jacob!

Why...
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A hilarious BD spoof. Jacob is hungry for Renesmee's love...and a McFlurry, :P
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added by maritina12345
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rotten tomatoes दिखाना
added by Mallory23
Source: http://fuckyeahtwilightsucks.tumblr.com/
I’ve read many lists pointing out Twilight “Plot Holes”, but और often than not, the lists aren’t very valid at all. Half of them are usually just complaints, pointing out something they don’t like about Twilight (Example:” Why would वैंपायर go to high school?”, या “Why does Bella have so many friends?”). The rest are just factually incorrect, या can be logically theorized. These are usually followed द्वारा “Stephenie Meyer obviously ditched history class”, या “Hasn’t Stephenie ever heard of logic?”, या my personal favorite, “I would know, I had a lesson about it...
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Contains strong language. It's not an anti video if आप don't mind the lulz.
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aagh! I accidentally deleted this when I was trying to संपादन करे it. here it is again with a new title:

Bella could have gotten over Edward in New Moon and even had a real relationship with Jacob in time, but she wouldn't let herself. She felt that moving on would diminish या discredit her twu wuv with Edward and the pain she felt after he left. She wants to believe she can't get over it because she wants to believe that what they had was extraordinary, not like any other teenage romance. She wants to believe no one else in the world can relate to what she's going through. She was alone because she...
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added by Disaster
added by nuxi
Source: etsy
*Most I made up, a few I admit I saw on a video but I stated these ways in my own words so it is therefore not plagiarism*

1) Tell a fangirl that you'll send her a T-shirt with rare pictures of Edward Cullen on the front and back in two days, make sure she gets extremely excited. When the two days go by, send her a T-shirt with pics of Hagrid from Harry Potter instead.
link
2) Tell the fangirls that all gay men sparkle.
3) Tell the fangirls that the Quielete वेयरवोल्फ have major anger management issues if they turn into beasts when they got irritable...
4) Ask them for their Twilight merchandise,...
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