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Here are my सूची of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let आप know now i got alot of these from the यूट्यूब channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything या eating anything आप might spit it या something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the झाड़ू late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the खाड़ी, बे they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's प्रिय vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the मशरूम have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do आप call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do आप call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do आप make an octopus giggle ten times?
आप give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do आप make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's प्रिय composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between आप and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't आप hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher कहा it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the टमाटर blush?
It saw the सलाद dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do आप know if it's raining बिल्ली and dogs?
आप step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do आप know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do आप get पिकाचू on a bus?
आप पोकेमोन (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't आप dress with पिकाचू in the room?
He'll पिकाचू (peek at you)

#27 What do आप call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
आप boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton पार करना, क्रॉस the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do आप call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's गुलाबी and fluffy?
गुलाबी fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
गुलाबी fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when आप drink 7 coca colas?
आप burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the मछली say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't आप trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope आप liked them. Make sure आप check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
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Angela's POV

Days passed one द्वारा one, and my प्यार for Jacob got even bigger. It's almost a साल since I'm here.Now I know everybody in Forks. Alexandra became my best friends, and she's the only one that knows my secret. There's too much जेली girls, but he didn't cheat on me as long as I know. Actually he says he loves me और every day. And I think he means it. Bella is really nice to me, and I try to be nice to her. Her boyfriend, Edward (the vampire) left her. I would die if Jacob would do something like that to me. Last night I dreamed Edward..or at least he says he is Edward. We were in...
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posted by boomerlover
A Really Bad Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps अगला to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy आप another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This दिन is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police कहा that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in बिस्तर with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, आप दिखाना up and drink my poison."
Here's the rest of em'

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of नारंगी, ऑरेंज traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your रात का खाना with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in बिना सोचे समझे spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone आप meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do...
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Mysterious love

-chapter two-


That night he was all I could think about.Him and his eyes.After a few घंटा I fell asleep and woke up द्वारा the sound of my alarm,then I heared my father call me over and over i guess I had fallen asleep again.Then I got up and threw on a कमीज, शर्ट that had some sort of शीर्षक on it I could not read because it was worn out.Then I went too my dresser too find some pants after I put my old कॉनवर्स on I went down stairs too see my father sitting there drinking coffee."dad what are आप doing here aren't आप supposed too be a work?"
"no i am staying here too have breakfast...
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posted by deathding
An amazing Card-Based game with so many features! Over 100 cards, आप can meet real people online playing it, शामिल होइए the, "Cult" faction, a faction obsessed with alien advanced modern technology. या the brotherhood. a faction who doesn't stop until your enemy is dead. Destroy your opponents rocket या heal completely to win! upgrade your cards, skills, armor, and weapons in this Extraordinary game. And if आप Don't have an e-mail, just make one up. This game features "Generators" where every turn आप get 2 kinds of points. Attack points, Which let आप attack and do other cool stuff to destroy your opponent, and Material points, which let आप heal या use cool things to protect your rocket. So please everyone, शामिल होइए the club, make a profile,(its free) and start battling! आप WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED!
Step 1: Form crush

Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook

Step 3: Talk to फ्रेंड्स about crush

Step 4: Talk to family about crush

Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush

Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog

Step 7: Dream about crush

Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books

Step 9: Fall in प्यार with crush

Step 10: Imagine having शिशु with crush

Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day

Step 12: Cry at night because of crush

Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush

Step 14: Dress to impress crush

Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice

Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush

Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter

Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc

Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house

Step 20: Never ask crush out

The End.
posted by whatsupbugs
Peaches is a song from The Super Mario Bros. Movie that has become a worldwide phenomenon. The song has Jack Black गाना as the villainous Bowser. Despite being a true villain, Bowser has fallen for Princess Peach. He sang a romantic song for her. For Bowser, it was a very emotional expression of love. For the fans, it was a delightfully silly song. I have decided to make my own parody of the song. This version is a song for Prince Hans to sing to क्वीन Elsa.

Here's the song:

"Elsa, you're so cool, and with your kingdom, we're gonna rule.

Elsa, understand that I'm gonna प्यार आप till the very...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony. We know this is a comedy show, but today, we have some tragic news.
Master Sword: Cosmic इंद्रधनुष is dead.
Audience: *Gasp*
Tom: He was playing video games when the Warner Bros assassin killed him.
Saten Twist: *Appears* Why couldn't it have been me?!
Tom: Yes, why couldn't it have been you?!
Saten Twist: Why did we have to lose a valuable member on our show?!
Tom: Why are we still stuck...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our दिखाना today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see आप again....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: आप see, we forgot to do this in the last episode.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: Yes, I know, we feel terrible.
Tom: Wait a second. Stop booing, and we'll let आप know who Brony Of The महीना is assholes.
Audience: *Booing*
Master Sword: You're making it worse.
Tom: I'm making it worse? They're supposed to be cheering, या laughing....
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posted by elsafan1010
**MALE**
1) Roxy
2) Max
3) Prince
4) Fireball
5) Coco
6) Peanut
7) Marron
8) Chestnut
9) Pie
10) Raven
11) Firefly
12) Roxy
13) Charlie
14) Zeus
15) Horus
16) Charming
17) Ako / My R.İ.P कुत्ता name ( its a city in japan)
18) Simba
19) Sam
20) Bruno (: We talked about bruno :)
21) Oat Meal
22) Choco
23) Chocolate
24) King
25) Pumpkin
26) Muffin
27) Goldie
28) Jackson
29) Brownie
30) Biscuit
31) Olive
32) Lord
33) Alex
34) T-rex
35) Captain


**FEMALE**
1) Luna
2) Cookie
3) Poppy
4) Lady
5) Angel
6) Princess
7) Peppermint
8) Sunny
9) Bella
10) Shakira
11) Sugar
12) Coal
13) Lulu
14) Emerald...
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Requirements for the essay. लेखन algorithm.

1. the essay should be perceived as a whole, the idea should be clear and understandable.
2. the essay should not contain anything superfluous, should include. Only the information that is necessary to reveal your link
3. Each paragraph of the essay should contain only one main idea.
4. the essay should दिखाना that its लेखक knows and meaningfully
uses theoretical concepts, terms, generalizations, worldview ideas.
5. the essay should contain convincing argumentation of the stated position on the problem.

-Memo when लेखन an essay.
-Before starting to...
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posted by craig3606
 The भेड़िया Pack
The Wolf Pack
In Africa there has been a experiment on भेड़िया being transitioned to living in the jungle. There has been some भेड़िया that have been shot with a vaccine from when they were cubs and then released into the Wild as they became older. The vaccine was designed to make the भेड़िया body temperature withstand Africa’s. Stryder, Winter and Kron was left behind with five cubs after the Hyenas attacked their pack, Bitow, Dex, Gomah, Stray and including Stryder and Winter’s own cub Rosey. Stryder was the Alpha and Winter was the Omaga. If it wasn’t for the Elephants interrupting the fight none of...
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How do I become sarcastic?
CANADA24; आप answer सवालों such as THIS one.


My house is on fire, what do I do?
CANADA24; आप get off the fuckin computer and go outside!


Can आप get pregnant from watching porn?
CANADA24; Only on wednesdays.


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
CANADA24; Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
CANADA24; GOOD!


Why are शिशु ugly at first?
CANADA24; आप try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
CANADA24; आप take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start.


Is...
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added by TimberHumphrey
video
It’s the हैलोवीन season again, a time to walk around my local town like a creep, traumatize children with my stupid antics, and also talk about फिल्में that critics hate but has a passionate fandom surrounding them, या at the very least, the general audiences hate. But that isn’t the case with our first film (The first introductee to Cultober II and I’ve already lied to everyone). A classic among horror fans, and even Michael Jackson himself, who took inspiration from the film to work into his own संगीत video for Thriller, one of the most लोकप्रिय संगीत वीडियो of all time. That’s right,...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme Song

Kevin: *Plays piano*
David: *Playing bass*
Liam: *Playing drums*
Liz: *Plays guitar*
Mr. Nut: *Sings* Welcome everybody to The Nut House. Thankfully this is not in Laos. Come on everybody into The Nut House. आप can wear anything except for a blouse. Come on everybody, step into The Nut House.
Everyone: The Nut House!

Episode 16: Tubing

The Delaware River has many people travel down it's current on tubes. Most people start at Bull's Island, just north of Stockton, then continue down the river to the town of Stockton itself. Other people like to start further north, such as Frenchtown,...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Holiday Inn, Charlestown South Carolina

Three women arrived in a Chevrolet Cruze. Two were sitting up front, while one was in the back seat.

Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith* We'll be right back. We need to get something important.
Edith: Leave the engine running.
Charlotte: *Nods. She watches the women walk into the hotel, then picks up her phone to talk to her mother*
Mom: Hello?
Charlotte: Hi Mom, चालट, चार्लोट, शेर्लोट here.
Mom: How are आप doing?
Charlotte: Good. I made a couple of new friends, and I just became a member of this group called Social Justice Warriors.
Mom: Congratulations darling. I need...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Mount Stewart, Northern Ireland

Commander Kane: Gentlemen, we have invited the eight of आप here, for a special exercise.
MI6 Commander: आप will attempt to infiltrate a camp set up द्वारा my boys. Good luck to आप Yanks.
Commander Kane: And good luck to आप fellas as well.

After five मिनटों of getting everything set up, the CIA agents were allowed to go to the MI6 camp. Everyone was wearing black, and were carrying paintball guns.

One CIA agent, was actually an enemy spy. He was trying to find a car to use to get to the airport.

Enemy Spy: *Walking along a castle, he sees an MI6 agent walking from...
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added by Seanthehedgehog
Source: 0987654321