Here are my सूची of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let आप know now i got alot of these from the यूट्यूब channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything या eating anything आप might spit it या something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the झाड़ू late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the खाड़ी, बे they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's प्रिय vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the मशरूम have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do आप call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do आप call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do आप make an octopus giggle ten times?
आप give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do आप make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's प्रिय composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between आप and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't आप hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher कहा it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the टमाटर blush?
It saw the सलाद dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do आप know if it's raining बिल्ली and dogs?
आप step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do आप know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do आप get पिकाचू on a bus?
आप पोकेमोन (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't आप dress with पिकाचू in the room?
He'll पिकाचू (peek at you)
#27 What do आप call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
आप boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton पार करना, क्रॉस the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do आप call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's गुलाबी and fluffy?
गुलाबी fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
गुलाबी fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when आप drink 7 coca colas?
आप burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the मछली say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't आप trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope आप liked them. Make sure आप check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
(Make sure your not drinking anything या eating anything आप might spit it या something.)
#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.
#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)
#3 Why was the झाड़ू late to work?
It overswept!
#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the खाड़ी, बे they'd be bagels.
#5 What's Michelle Obama's प्रिय vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)
#6 Why does the मशरूम have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)
#7 What do आप call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)
#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.
#9 What do आप call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!
#10 How do आप make an octopus giggle ten times?
आप give him ten-tickles (tenticles)
#11 How do आप make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!
#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!
#13 What's a chicken's प्रिय composer?
Bach!
#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between आप and me man, something smells." (Your nose)
#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."
#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."
#17 Why can't आप hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)
#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher कहा it was a piece of cake.
#19 Why did the टमाटर blush?
It saw the सलाद dressing.
#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)
#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)
#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.
#23 How do आप know if it's raining बिल्ली and dogs?
आप step in a poodle (puddle)
#24 How do आप know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)
#25 How do आप get पिकाचू on a bus?
आप पोकेमोन (pok 'em on)
#26 Why can't आप dress with पिकाचू in the room?
He'll पिकाचू (peek at you)
#27 What do आप call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)
#28 How do get holy water?
आप boil the hell out of it!
#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD
#30 Why didn't the skeleton पार करना, क्रॉस the road?
He didn't have the guts to.
#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)
#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)
#33 What do आप call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator
#34 What's गुलाबी and fluffy?
गुलाबी fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
गुलाबी fluff holding it's breath.
#35 What happens when आप drink 7 coca colas?
आप burp 7up
#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.
#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!
#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.
#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)
#40 what did the मछली say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!
#41 Why can't आप trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)
Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope आप liked them. Make sure आप check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
A Really Bad Day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps अगला to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy आप another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This दिन is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police कहा that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in बिस्तर with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, आप दिखाना up and drink my poison."
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps अगला to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy आप another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This दिन is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police कहा that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in बिस्तर with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, आप दिखाना up and drink my poison."
Step 1: Form crush
Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook
Step 3: Talk to फ्रेंड्स about crush
Step 4: Talk to family about crush
Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush
Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog
Step 7: Dream about crush
Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books
Step 9: Fall in प्यार with crush
Step 10: Imagine having शिशु with crush
Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day
Step 12: Cry at night because of crush
Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush
Step 14: Dress to impress crush
Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice
Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush
Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter
Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc
Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house
Step 20: Never ask crush out
The End.
Step 2: Stalk crush on Facebook
Step 3: Talk to फ्रेंड्स about crush
Step 4: Talk to family about crush
Step 5: Talk to Internet people about crush
Step 6: Obsess over crush on blog
Step 7: Dream about crush
Step 8: Doodle crush's name on books
Step 9: Fall in प्यार with crush
Step 10: Imagine having शिशु with crush
Step 11: Form an unhealthy obsession with what crush does every day
Step 12: Cry at night because of crush
Step 13: Imagine flirting with crush
Step 14: Dress to impress crush
Step 15: Become depressed because crush does not notice
Step 16: Hate any girl that talks to crush
Step 17: Stalk crush on Twitter
Step 18: Learn crush's favourite color, animal, activity, etc
Step 19: Send anonymous packages to crush's house
Step 20: Never ask crush out
The End.