बिना सोचे समझे Club
शामिल होइए
Fanpop
New Post
Explore Fanpop
Here are my सूची of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let आप know now i got alot of these from the यूट्यूब channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything या eating anything आप might spit it या something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the झाड़ू late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the खाड़ी, बे they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's प्रिय vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the मशरूम have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do आप call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do आप call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do आप make an octopus giggle ten times?
आप give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do आप make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's प्रिय composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between आप and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't आप hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher कहा it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the टमाटर blush?
It saw the सलाद dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do आप know if it's raining बिल्ली and dogs?
आप step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do आप know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do आप get पिकाचू on a bus?
आप पोकेमोन (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't आप dress with पिकाचू in the room?
He'll पिकाचू (peek at you)

#27 What do आप call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
आप boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton पार करना, क्रॉस the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do आप call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's गुलाबी and fluffy?
गुलाबी fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
गुलाबी fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when आप drink 7 coca colas?
आप burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the मछली say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't आप trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope आप liked them. Make sure आप check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
Eve Dipalo stared up at the brick building. It looked the same but it felt so different, so... weird... "oof!" Someone pushed Eve aside and ran off into the school. Eve was about to say something, but she thought better of it. Besides, who would even listen to her of all people? She sighed and pushed open the doors to the school.

Right when she walked in she felt out of place. She pulled a piece of white paper from her backpack's side pocket and studied it. She walked over to one of the bright red 7th grade lockers and glanced back down at the paper to check her combination. she tried her...
continue reading...
Look guys, I'm really sorry about how I overreacted to Fanpop's many changes earlier. I was just angry that my computer was slow, and I overreacted. For that I'm really sorry.


XxKeithHarkinxX, I'm especially sorry to you. I know we've had a few disagreements here and there, but this pushed me to my limit, and again, I overreacted because nobody would listen to me about my computer issues. I want to just patch up the hole and be friends. If आप don't, that's cool, just know that I'm sorry.

I'm also sorry to Fanpop.... I wouldn't give the new format a chance. I hope my apology can pay for everyone...
continue reading...
I never thought i would end up like this.Alone dying and not being able to care for my brother.Running away from gaurds into the alley या our so called home.We never left the city border but my brother dreams of it when he grows up so he can care for me."Brother it's ok"I कहा giving him half of the warm soft loaf of bread.My brothers hand shook while he reachout ands grabbed the रोटी and slowly nibbled every last piece of it.As he and i listed the reasons why would should go to heaven and so far we came up with one reason hat both of us were suffering with."Dear god keep us alive for at least...
continue reading...
posted by XxKeithHarkinxX
6:48pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Yo.
6:49pmjnrm:
suppers!
6:49pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Being depressed
6:50pmjnrm:
fun times, i can tell from yur roblox stats
6:51pm
dude! i found some really cute clothes on roblox!
6:52pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
give meh da link
6:53pmjnrm:
Well a few of the shirts are cute i guess link
i like the दिल one with suspenders
6:54pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
i buy her clotehs all teh time XD
6:54pmjnrm:
Oh XD Lol
6:54pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
Eeeeeyup
6:59pmjnrm:
do आप know anyone that has my style?
6:59pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
besides me //killed
6:59pmjnrm:
kk
7:00pm
thx
7:00pmXxKeithHarkinxX:
anytime.
7:00pmjnrm:
i cant find them on...
continue reading...
Hold on to me, प्यार
You know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was
I प्यार आप and I'm not afraid, oh

Can आप hear me?
Can आप feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of आप
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow पेड़
(Come and find me)

I know आप hear me
I can taste it in your tears

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of आप
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams...
continue reading...
posted by sakurahanazono
1.) Start saying the सवालों really loudly and if they try to tell आप to be quite say "shhh this is a test आप know, gosh!"

2.) In a maths test start whispering बिना सोचे समझे numbers to the person अगला to आप and then when the teacher tells आप off say "They made me give them the जवाब या they कहा they'd kill me!" Then glare at them.

3.) Laugh hysterically and when people stare at आप say "What are आप lookin at!" या "Stop trying to copy my answers!"

4.) Get on चोटी, शीर्ष of the तालिका, टेबल and start doing the macarena.

5.) After you've wrote your name on the test, start screaming and when the teacher comes over and asks whats wrong say "How does the test know what my name is! Have आप been spying on me and teling it everything!"
"Where is Maybelle?"Alicia asked.
"I don't-"I was cut off
"Help!Help me!I need help!Please!!"A familiar voice begged.
"MAYBELLE!"we all कहा in unison.
We followed the voice into a huge hut.
"Maybelle!Where are you?"I asked.
I ran as fast as I could.I couldn't wait for them to catch up.I saw a door with a small window.I looked in and saw Ariana.When she turned back,I ran back.
"Help!Help me!Help m-MM!MUHH!MMMMMHHH!"Maybelle yelled.
I ran to the door Maybelle and Ariana were in.I knocked on the door,got out my sword,and waited for Ariana to come out.
"What?Wh-AH!"She said.
"You said,you'd leave my friends...
continue reading...
There's a place in my mind
No one knows where it hides
And my कल्पना is flying
It's a गढ़, महल in the sky

It's a world of our past
Where the legend still lasts
And the king wears the crown
But the magic spell is law

Take your sword and your shield
There's a battle on the field
You're a knight and you're right
So with ड्रॅगन्स now you'll fight

And my fancy is flying
It's a गढ़, महल in the sky
या there's nothing out there
These are castles in the air

Fairytales live in me
Fables coming from my memory
कल्पना is not a crime
Find your गढ़, महल in the sky

You've got the key
Of the kingdom of the clouds
Open the door
Leaving back your doubts

You've got the power
To live another childhood
So ride the wind
That leads आप to the moon 'cause..."
Sarah couldn't make a noise.Ariana ran to the little girl.Sarah got a grip on the sticks.When she stopped the little girl.Sarah stabbed Ariana in the back."OOOOWWWW!!WHAT THE HECK आप LITTLE IDIOT!"She yelled.She dropped to her knees.I picked up the little girl,which was crying."It's okay.Let's get आप to your mommy."Her mom was crying too."Here's your daughter."Sarah said."THANK YOU!THANK YOU!"The mom कहा and cheered.
Sarah walked back.
"SARAH!Oh my gosh!"Alicia कहा and she hugged her.
"That was amazing."Maybelle said.
"Guys!Focus!The stone."Sarah said.They got out and ran."Oh no!The Rights!That's...
continue reading...
It was The night of Scarlett's sleepover,The guests arrived quickly.
S:Hey!Chloe and Nancy are already here,Penny.
P:Okay,Um...Where do I put my sleeping bag?
S:Anywhere.
M:Bye Honey!I gotta go to work!
S:Bye mom!
N:Can we play 'Truth या Dare'?
S:Don't see why not.
Scarlett got a तकिया and put it in her lap.
N:Okay,Chloe!Truth या dare?
C:Truth.
N:Okay,WHATS MY MIDDLE NAME?
C:Shannon.
N:WRONG!I DON'T HAVE ONE!!!HA!TRICK QUESTION!
C:Grrr.Okay.Penny,Truth या dare?
P:Dare!
C:Alright,I dare आप to...Name ONE Scary movie you've watched!
P:Oh...Well....lets see...(gulp)...HARRY POTTER!
S:As much as we hate him....Doesn't...
continue reading...
1. Relate everything they say to the Harry Potter पुस्तकें and/or movies.

2. Say they look like a Harry Potter character of the opposite gender.

3. Quote Dobby.

4. Hog the computer 24/7 while logged onto MuggleNet.

5. Read out loud to them whenever they can't get away from आप (Example: When in a car या an elevator). If आप don't have a book with you, recite from memory.

6. Give them Harry Potter merchandise for their birthday and क्रिस्मस and demand that they keep it and treasure it forever.

7. Rewrite their प्रिय song with Harry Potter lyrics and sing it constantly.

8. Crowd their inbox...
continue reading...
What women should tell men...but don't

1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.

2. The अगला time आप and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a मतदान to see which of आप successfully aim at the toilet rim.

3. If we're watching football with आप - it's not bonding - it's their butts.

4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever आप have to say after the movie.

5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.

6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.

7. If आप were really looking for an honest answer, you...
continue reading...
posted by karpach_14
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have आप ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would आप ask such a सवाल now? आप don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when आप were 35 years old and आप really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give आप a loan? Remember how one दिन the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no सवालों asked?"

"Oh, Betty, आप did that for me!...
continue reading...
posted by karpach_14
A
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for आप आप twit she was only after your money and could have दिया a shit about you.

B
is for Bitter. Who, me?? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!

C
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.

D
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?

E
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when...
continue reading...
posted by smileypop9
I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can आप guess whose and what job it is?


You think your job sucks? Let me tell आप about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair या putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The अगला chick is exactly the opposite- she might even...
continue reading...
I found this on the internet :P

part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" या "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He कहा "I'd like to have one too." Then I कहा "But this is a dog". He कहा he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He कहा I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
CAALLIIOOPPEE CHHAANNEELL!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's me your host Invader Calliope ^^
Can आप believe were already on our ninth episode!
TIME SURE FLIES!Welcome to another happy episode of Calliope Channel! Well today were gonna bring another character out! And it's.....Lardnard!
Invader Calliope:SO COME OUT!
Lardnard:Oh *falls*
Invader Calliope:You sound like some nerdy turtle.
Lardnard:Well umm i'm here.
Invader Calliope:FINALLY THINGS ARE PICKING UP AROUND HERE!
Lardnard:Yeah!
Invader Calliope:Yeah.That's how आप respond.
Lardnard:Umm is there a problem.
Invader Calliope:Ohhh nothing! Oh NO WERE OUTTA TIME BYE ME!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Oh-o-o-oa
Oh-o-o-o

Sweet little bumble bee I know what आप want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble bee और than just a fantasy
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da

My दिल skips a beat
When आप walk in the room
I go boom boom boom
You go zoom zoom zoom
You're my playboy, playtoy
Love and my friend
I wanna be with आप until the end

I give my दिल and my soul to you
To make आप see its true
Im so confused, baby, cant आप see
Please come rescue me

Sweet little bumble bee I know what आप want from me
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Dup-i-dup-i-do la da
Sweet little bumble...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOPPPEEEE
CHHHAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEELLLL!
Hia everyone I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
TIME FOR THE SIX EPISODE OF CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I hope आप are getting use to this दिखाना cuz I am!
Well todays specail guest is......Angry monkey!
Angry Monkey:Gir
Invader Calliope:Did आप say something!
Angry Monkey:Uh nothing s-sorry.
Invader Calliope:Well it looks like the Angry Monkey is'nt use to interviews!He must be nervous because of all the people watching!
Angry Monkey:*scared*
Invader Calliope:So anyway wait we are all outta time well BYE EVERYONE!I hope आप enjoy the picture!
The End!
posted by invadercalliope
CCAALLIIOOPPEE
CCHHAANNEEL!
HIA EVERYONE WELCOME TO CALLIOPE CHANNEL!
I'M YOUR HOST INVADER CALLIOPE!
ITS NICE TO SEE आप AGAIN!
I WILL BE GIVING आप 120 PERCENT!
TODAYS SPECAIL GUEST तारा, स्टार IS....
Dib:DIIIB!
Invader Calliope:HEY!
Dib:What?
Invader Calliope: DON'T आप EVER CUT ME OFF AGAIN!
Dib:I'M SORRY!
Invader Calliope:THIS IS'NT KIDS PLAY! SO आप BETTER HANDLE YOUR SELF या I WILL MAKE SURE YOUR OFF INVADER ZIM!
Dib:I'm sorry! I'm really very sorry!
Invader Calliope:Ok because Dib was so horrible I will end the दिखाना earlyer!Bye!
The End