The Last Goodbye
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my दिल in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My दिल nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly आगे and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers हटाइए until he is holding my face द्वारा the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first साल of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused द्वारा my words, या द्वारा his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would प्यार to just stand here and let this happen—let आप किस me—and forget that आप are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see आप again after this summer, forget that afterwards आप will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if आप do, if आप can see us. If आप think आप could प्यार me, for और than just today then do it. किस me. But unless आप have thought about it, unless आप have weighed the pros and cons, unless आप see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless आप know in your दिल that this isn't just something आप will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and और swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that विभाजित करें, विभक्त करें second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter या come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t हटाइए and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the सेकंड time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my दिल in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My दिल nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly आगे and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers हटाइए until he is holding my face द्वारा the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first साल of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused द्वारा my words, या द्वारा his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would प्यार to just stand here and let this happen—let आप किस me—and forget that आप are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see आप again after this summer, forget that afterwards आप will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if आप do, if आप can see us. If आप think आप could प्यार me, for और than just today then do it. किस me. But unless आप have thought about it, unless आप have weighed the pros and cons, unless आप see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless आप know in your दिल that this isn't just something आप will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and और swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that विभाजित करें, विभक्त करें second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter या come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t हटाइए and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the सेकंड time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
Glance the other way
Rip your दिल out
I just don't care anymore
You're useless
And uncaring
आप know nothing!
Yet आप pretend आप do
You're a pretender
A pretender is just a liar in disguise
A pretender is a faker
A pretender hides
A pretender is a maker
Of the dark abyss
आप told me once
I told आप twice
Now what?
Do we forget the past?
Live for the future?
या remember and continue on our path?
...Decisions...Decisions...
Left या right?
Up या down?
Wrong या right?
Please give me the answer
For I do not know
Right and wrong any longer
Rip your दिल out
I just don't care anymore
You're useless
And uncaring
आप know nothing!
Yet आप pretend आप do
You're a pretender
A pretender is just a liar in disguise
A pretender is a faker
A pretender hides
A pretender is a maker
Of the dark abyss
आप told me once
I told आप twice
Now what?
Do we forget the past?
Live for the future?
या remember and continue on our path?
...Decisions...Decisions...
Left या right?
Up या down?
Wrong या right?
Please give me the answer
For I do not know
Right and wrong any longer
Chapter 4: Sunny day
These were the days of peace and happiness.
Days were spent in peace and love.
Jack loved his job, even though he wasn't that patient with children who didn't pay attention on his classes.
But, he knew. He was doing something
important, something useful.
And most of all, he knew that his lovely wife
and beautiful little Gwenny were waiting for him
at home.
Dana was amazing at kitchen.
Jack loved everything she made.
One happy family they were.
Like every morning, Jack would go to work,
and Dana would make a breakfast and some coffee to wake them up.
Morning coffee was something wonderful
for both of them.
After having breakfast, Jack would drink coffee
with Dana, looking at her with the same gentle
and passionate प्यार that never fades.
"I'll see आप later, darling." - Jack कहा and
went to work.
Dana was still sitting and enjoying in the coffee,
watching through the window the sunlight.
She could smell the फूल that were growing
in the yard.
These were the days of peace and happiness.
Days were spent in peace and love.
Jack loved his job, even though he wasn't that patient with children who didn't pay attention on his classes.
But, he knew. He was doing something
important, something useful.
And most of all, he knew that his lovely wife
and beautiful little Gwenny were waiting for him
at home.
Dana was amazing at kitchen.
Jack loved everything she made.
One happy family they were.
Like every morning, Jack would go to work,
and Dana would make a breakfast and some coffee to wake them up.
Morning coffee was something wonderful
for both of them.
After having breakfast, Jack would drink coffee
with Dana, looking at her with the same gentle
and passionate प्यार that never fades.
"I'll see आप later, darling." - Jack कहा and
went to work.
Dana was still sitting and enjoying in the coffee,
watching through the window the sunlight.
She could smell the फूल that were growing
in the yard.
I lied
I lied to them and got caught
I confessed up and told them the truth
but they get और upset
I walk down the dark hallway
into my lonely empty room
I lie on my bed, thinking
I go to हटाइए and I can't
I fall down
pain shooting threw me
they walk in
saying I'm faking to make them feel bad
they walk out
leaving me on the ground
crying out in pain
I finally give up
crawl over to the closet
get the gun and cocked it
put it to my temple and pulled the trigger
life...filled with hate
I've chased down all my demons
but it wasn't enough
mistreated,misplaced,misunderstood.
I lied to them and got caught
I confessed up and told them the truth
but they get और upset
I walk down the dark hallway
into my lonely empty room
I lie on my bed, thinking
I go to हटाइए and I can't
I fall down
pain shooting threw me
they walk in
saying I'm faking to make them feel bad
they walk out
leaving me on the ground
crying out in pain
I finally give up
crawl over to the closet
get the gun and cocked it
put it to my temple and pulled the trigger
life...filled with hate
I've chased down all my demons
but it wasn't enough
mistreated,misplaced,misunderstood.
I keep my rhythm
I tap in time,
My संगीत is my world
An angry beat inside.
It can crash like a waterfall
या gradually trickle down,
It can make आप laugh and cry
That powerful sound.
My headphones on my head
The lyrics flowing though,
Filling up my brain
संगीत is the खाना I chew.
It can be beautiful, strange
Crazy and cool,
I couldn't live without music
There's a style to suit all.
संगीत is like a brand new life
Jumping around your mind,
Each instrument that is played
Is an ingredient to find.
There's nothing quite like music
There's nothing quite like me,
आप can always find a friend in music
संगीत will always be.
I tap in time,
My संगीत is my world
An angry beat inside.
It can crash like a waterfall
या gradually trickle down,
It can make आप laugh and cry
That powerful sound.
My headphones on my head
The lyrics flowing though,
Filling up my brain
संगीत is the खाना I chew.
It can be beautiful, strange
Crazy and cool,
I couldn't live without music
There's a style to suit all.
संगीत is like a brand new life
Jumping around your mind,
Each instrument that is played
Is an ingredient to find.
There's nothing quite like music
There's nothing quite like me,
आप can always find a friend in music
संगीत will always be.