Confrontations and Explanations

Bella

"Alice." I couldn't say that I was surprised to see her, but I had hoped that I would have at least a little और time to prepare myself for this conversation.

"Can I come in?" She raised her eyebrows at me, and I realized that I was blocking the door.

I couldn't very well ask her to come back later, when I'd had a chance to think through what I would say to her, so I sighed.

"Sure, come on in."

I stepped aside and she glided past me into the apartment.

"I suppose आप understand why I'm here." There was an edge to her voice that I didn't recognize.

"Do आप mind if we sit in the kitchen?" I didn't want Lily and Caitlin to accidentally overhear us talking. I was pretty sure that they were busy playing and wouldn't notice anything short of an earthquake, but I didn't want to take any chances.

Alice followed me into the रसोई, रसोईघर and accepted the chair I gestured at. I sat down across the तालिका, टेबल from her and braced myself for the accusations.

"How could आप not say anything?" She spoke quietly, though I could tell that she really wanted to yell at me; fury was evident in her eyes. "How the hell could आप not tell him?"

"First of all, Alice, I didn't even know myself until after… आप left." I winced a little at the memories.

"Haven't heard of phones? I hear they're the latest fad." The sarcasm in her voice made me snap.

"You know what, Alice? आप have absolutely no idea what I went through back then, so don't आप dare judge me!" I could feel anger building inside me. "I did call. But I guess आप decided to really हटाइए on, huh? Because all I got was a mechanical voice telling me that the numbers had been disconnected. And since I didn't know where आप were…"

"What?" She interrupted me, a confused look replacing the angry one on her face.

"Where did आप हटाइए when आप left Forks? I still have no idea. Have आप been in Seattle this whole time?"

"No, I just moved back last year." For some reason, I noticed that she कहा I and not we. "We moved to New York. Are आप saying that he didn't tell you?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying." I shrugged. "I guess it was partly my fault. I got really mad when he told me that आप were leaving that same day. I guess I didn't exactly give him a chance to explain anything." I had gotten to the point where I could view what had happened that दिन from a somewhat objective perspective, even if thinking about it still hurt.

"I told him that he should talk to आप the moment Carlisle told us we were moving." She muttered, और to herself than to me. "But would he listen to me? No! I wanted to tell आप myself, but he made me promise that I wouldn't, and since I thought आप should hear it from him in the first place, I didn't. And as for the disconnected part, would आप believe me if I told आप that we were mugged?"

She had such a sheepish look on her face that I couldn't help but trust her.

"The first दिन at the new school, I borrowed Edward's phone for some reason, I don't remember why, and then I put it in my bag where I kept my own phone. On our way home, a guy grabbed my bag and took off with it."

Hearing his name for the first time in so many years made me inhale sharply, and I was sure she noticed, even if she didn't say anything.

"That doesn't change the fact that I couldn't reach either of you. I even called information to get Rosalie's number in Seattle, only there wasn't one." I gave her an accusing look.

"She transferred to Pratt in Brooklyn, and Emmett and Jasper decided to go to NYU instead of Seattle U when we moved." Alice explained.

"That's pretty much what I figured." I sighed. The anger I had felt a moment earlier had disappeared, and all I was left with was an almost overwhelming feeling of sadness at the impossibility of the situation.

"I called you, आप know." She कहा softly after a moment.

"I know." I nodded. I remembered the phone call I had overheard a part of during my very own personal hell.

"Charlie कहा that आप weren't… doing so good." I could tell that she picked her words carefully. "And I thought that it might just make it और difficult for आप if we talked, so that's why I didn't call again. It didn't even occur to me that आप didn't know where we were going, so I just figured that you'd call when आप wanted to talk, and when आप never did…" She shrugged.

"It probably would have been even harder if I'd talked to you." After six years, I could look at the situation with some distance, and I knew that talking to Alice at that point just would have made everything worse.

"I've missed you." She reached for my hand over the table. "I never understood what happened that day, I was so sure that आप would work it out somehow."

"He didn't tell you?"

She shook her head.

"I mean, I could tell that something happened, obviously, but he refused to talk about it. He really wasn't himself for a long time after we left Forks."

It was a little comforting to hear that I hadn't been the only one affected द्वारा our break up.

"When he told me आप were leaving, I accused him of wanting to get out of our relationship."

"No, Bella, that wasn't…" I held up a hand, and she cut herself off.

"I know that now, but I panicked. I thought that he was leaving me, so I attacked instead of listening to his explanation."

"I guess that explains why he wouldn't talk about it."

"I guess."

"So." Alice continued, apparently deciding to change the subject. "How long have आप lived here?"

"Only a couple of months in this apartment, we lived on campus before." I explained.

"You went to Seattle U then?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "I had to take a साल off after high school, of course, but I graduated this year."

"What did आप end up majoring in?" She asked curiously.

"Marketing. I got a great job at a small advertising agency in town right after graduation."

"That sounds like fun."

"It is, I प्यार my job. And you're a teacher?" I had never thought about it, but she was actually perfect in that role.

"Yeah." She laughed. "I sort of just stumbled into it, but now I really प्यार it."

"You seem to be good at it, Lily's been ecstatic about "Miss Alice" all afternoon."

"Really?" A big smile appeared on her face.

"Definitely. You've made quite the impression on her. And Jasper, are आप two…" She held out her left hand, and I saw a beautiful engagement ring on her finger. "Congratulations."

"Thanks. We got engaged right after I graduated last year. He got a great job offer at a Seattle based company last summer, that's really why we moved here. We live over in Sunset Hill, right द्वारा the water."

"And Rosalie and Emmett?" It wasn't really them that I was curious about, but I needed to work up some courage first.

"They live in Staten Island; they wanted to stay close to mom and dad. Emmett coaches a high school football team, and Rosalie's an interior designer." She giggled. "Well, they had a baby in June, Noah, so right now she's घर with him."

"Tell them congratulations from me." I was glad to hear that they, too, were still together.

"I will." She studied me silently for a moment. "He's here in town, आप know."

My eyes snapped up to meet hers as I registered the words.

"He moved here right after graduation last year." She continued when I didn't say anything.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say.

"You have to talk to him." Her voice was intense.

"I really don't." And I definitely didn't want to. In fact, it was right there on चोटी, शीर्ष of my "Things I never want to do" list.

"He needs to know." She insisted.

"No, आप know what? I need to think about what's best for my daughter."

"She's his daughter too." Alice pointed out.

"Only in the biological sense."

"That's not his fault! I'm not saying it's yours, either, but you're the one who has the chance to fix it now."

"I can't risk that he wouldn't…"

"Do आप think that I could?" She cut me off. "Do आप think that I would even suggest it if I thought for one moment that he wouldn't प्यार that little girl just as much as I already do?"

I didn't know what to say to that, and was saved from answering at all when Lily and Caitlin came into the रसोई, रसोईघर a moment later.

"Mommy, can we have some juice?" Lily noticed who was sitting with me at the तालिका, टेबल and her face lit up. "Miss Alice!"

"Hi Lily, hi Catie." Alice smiled at them. "Your mom was just telling me that आप really enjoyed your first दिन of school."

Lily nodded vigorously.

"Uh-huh. It was a lot of fun."

"I'm glad आप liked it." Alice shot me a glance that I couldn't quite decipher before she continued. "Did आप know that your mom and I used to know each other? Before आप were born."

"You did?" I cursed Alice for revealing this, since I knew the सवालों that would inevitably follow when she had left.

"We did. We went to school together, just like आप and Caitlin."

"Did आप know grandpa too?" Lily wondered excitedly. "And aunt Angela and uncle Ben and uncle Jake?"

"I did know your grandpa, and Angela and Ben." She glanced over at me again. "I don't think I knew Jake, though."

"He's the coolest." Lily announced. "He takes me to the zoo, and the aquarium, and when we visit grandpa, we go out to the समुद्र तट and we pick rocks that have all kinds of colors. And he can make a आग that's blue." Her eyes widened at the last word; she was fascinated द्वारा the driftwood fires that Jake always made when we went to the समुद्र तट for picnics in the summers.

"That sounds nice." I could see that Alice was very curious as to who Jacob was.

"It is. And he lets me play with his hair, I even know how to braid it, and it's longer than mine!"

I decided that it was time to end the bonding session, and took two रस pouches from the fridge and gave them to the girls.

"Why don't आप go play again?" I suggested. "Catie has to go घर soon."

"OK. See आप tomorrow, Miss Alice."

They both waved at her before running back out of the kitchen.

"Did आप have to tell her that? Now she'll ask a bunch of questions, and I really don't know what to say to her." I complained.

"The truth, maybe?" Alice suggested. "She must have asked about her dad."

"Actually no." I shrugged. "Donna, that's Caitlin's mother, आप met her this morning, is a single mom too, so I think that might be why. I mean, she's seen other kids picked up या dropped off द्वारा their dads at the daycare center, but she hasn't asked about it. At least not yet."

"Well, I want to be able to be her aunt, and not just Miss Alice."

"I know, I just… God, I was so not counting on ever having to do this." When I had pictured telling Lily about her dad – a conversation I had already been dreading for years – I had imagined trying to explain to her why he wasn't around. I had never really entertained the thought that I would ever see him again – या any of the rest of his family, for that matter – so the whole "this is your dad" bit was definitely not part of my plan.

We sat in silence for a moment.

"Listen, Bella, I don't want to do this, but…" She hesitated, but then put on a harsh face. "He's my brother. And if आप don't tell him, I will."

"Alice, please." I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

"No. He has the right to know."

"I know that!" I snapped. "Fine, I will talk to him, OK? I just… I need some time to get used to the whole situation, OK?"

"Saturday. He always goes to 15th Avenue Coffee and चाय for breakfast at nine on weekends. He lives just a couple of blocks from the shop, in Stevens."

I knew the place. When we lived on campus, I used to take Lily to the playfield in Cal Anderson Park a couple of times a week. I realized that, if he had indeed moved to Seattle right after college the पूर्व summer, we would have lived only a few miles apart for over a year. The thought was… impossible to take in.

"OK." Today was Wednesday, so I had two days to prepare. Not that I had any idea how to do that exactly.

"Great!" Alice's face lit up in a smile. "And now I want to see pictures!"

Alice

I could see the pride and प्यार in Bella's eyes as she flipped through the pages of the चित्र album, pointing to the different pictures and explaining what was in them. We had started with pictures of Lily as a baby, and moved forward. Caitlin's mom had picked her up earlier, and Bella had put Lily to बिस्तर at nine. It was now almost ten, and we had gotten to और हाल का photos.

"That's Lily and Jake at the zoo this summer. She loves the penguins, for some reason." Bella laughed, probably at some memory from the trip to the zoo.

I had noticed that this Jacob was in a lot of photos, and wasn't sure what that meant. I didn't get the feeling that there was anything between Bella and him, but thought it was best to make sure that I wasn't misinterpreting the situation.

"So, आप and Jake…" I started.

"That's really none of your business." She cut me off before I could finish the sentence.

"Oh." Touchy much? "I see."

She sighed.

"He's just a friend." She shot me a quick, wondering glance. "Not that I have any idea why आप care."

"Friends care about friends' relationships." I tried to sound casual.

"Is that what we are?" She asked hesitantly, looking up at me.

"We used to be." I titled my head to the side and smiled. "I'd like to think that we can be again."

"I'd like that too." She mumbled, focusing back on the album in her lap.

At that moment, my cell phone rang, and I quickly answered when the caller ID told me that it was Jasper.

"I'm so sorry." I apologized before he had a chance to say anything. "I लॉस्ट track of time."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at… a friend's place."

"And are आप planning on coming घर anytime soon?" I could hear the sarcasm in his voice and knew that he wasn't really mad.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." I promised. "Bye, babe."

"Bye."

I hung up the phone and gave Bella an apologetic smile.

"Jasper's starting to wonder if I've run away with a touring circus या something."

"I guess we लॉस्ट track of time." She said, looking at the clock on the दीवार above the TV.

"Do आप have a चित्र of Lily that I could have?" I wondered. "I'd really like one."

"Hang on." She went over to the book case that was filled with पुस्तकें and CD's and dozens of चित्र frames. "I got some doubles last time I had pictures developed. Here we go."

She came back to the सोफ़ा, सोफे and handed me a picture of Lily sitting on a blanket on what I recognized as First समुद्र तट in La Push. She had a big smile on her face, an ice cream cone in her hand and some ice cream on her nose.

"This is from the Fourth of July weekend; we always go up to Forks to visit Charlie on the holidays." Bella explained.

"Thanks." I gave her a grateful smile and carefully put the picture in my purse.

"I have tons of चित्रो on the computer; I can burn आप a CD with them if आप want." She offered.

"I would प्यार that, thank you."

She walked me to the door, picking up the few toys that were scattered on the floor and tossing them into a basket द्वारा the सोफ़ा, सोफे on the way.

"I'm so glad to finally see आप again." I realized that my hug surprised her, because she hesitated for a moment before hugging me back.

"So am I. And I've missed आप too. So much."

I pulled back, and realized that we both had tears in our eyes. We started laughing at the same time.

"I'll see आप tomorrow." I gave her a quick किस on the cheek before opening the door.

"I'll bring the CD." She promised,

I drove घर in silence, turning off the radio that I always listened to whenever I was in the car. The दिन had been eventful, to say the least, and I needed some time to digest everything that had happened before I faced Jasper. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide my inner turmoil from him, and wasn't sure how to relate the day's event.

He was sitting on the सोफ़ा, सोफे watching TV when I walked through the door. When he heard me, he looked up and gave me a smile.

"Hey." I crossed the room and sat down अगला to him, pulling my legs up under me and leaning my head against his shoulder.

"Hey." He wrapped an arm around me. "You OK?"

He knew me so well; he could always sense my mood.

"A lot's happened today." I replied. It was cryptic, I knew that.

"New first graders." He noted, and I nodded.

"Yeah." I hesitated for a moment. Bella hadn't asked me not to say anything to Jasper, so I assumed it was fine. I knew he would never say anything if I asked him not to, and he would find out eventually anyway. "And I saw Bella."

"She's in Seattle?" The surprise in Jasper's voice was nowhere near the surprise I had felt when I saw Bella in my classroom earlier.

"Yeah."

"So that's where you've been tonight." It wasn't a question, and again I marveled at how well he knew me. "Where did आप meet her?"

"At school."

"How is she?"

"Good. She seems pretty happy."

He was quiet for a moment.

"Are आप going to tell me what's bothering you? Because seeing Bella again can't be it."

"It's not." I didn't know how to tell him, so I handed him the चित्र Bella had दिया me and let him draw his own conclusions. It shouldn't be too hard.

"Well, that's a… surprise." He कहा after having studied the picture for a moment.

"No kidding."

"I'm guessing she's in your class, then." He frowned. "Though I'm not sure how that's actually possible."

"She's starting a साल early. She turned five in May."

"Well, there आप go then."

"She's the most amazing kid." I smiled. "So smart, and sweet. She seems a lot older than she really is."

"Well, she's got good genes." He hesitated. "Edward doesn't know, does he? I mean, he wouldn't keep something like this from us all these years."

"No." I shook my head. "He doesn't know. Thanks to stupid misunderstandings and even और stupid muggers." I could tell that Jasper had no idea what I was talking about. "Remember when I got mugged and we had to get new phones? Well, Bella didn't find out that she was pregnant until after we left Forks, and when she called, the numbers had been disconnected. And the stupid idiot didn't tell her that we were moving to New York."

"Well, that sucks." Jasper stated matter-of-factly.

Yep, that pretty much summed it up.

"Tell me about it." I sighed.

"How do आप think he'll take it?"

"I honestly don't know." I shook my head. "And that worries me, because I used to know him almost better than I knew myself... But he hasn't been himself since we left Forks, आप know that. He'd probably be thrilled at just seeing Bella again; I really think that's why he moved back to Washington in the first place, because of the possibility of maybe running into her. But finding out about this? I have no idea."

"You just have to have some faith in him."

"I know. This whole situation just makes me so angry. Poor Edward, imagine all the things he's missed that he'll never get back. It's just not fair!"

"Poor Bella." Jasper countered. "Can आप imagine getting pregnant at seventeen – in Forks of all places?"

Bella

When Alice had left, I called Angela. It was after ten, but I knew that she wouldn't mind.

"Hello?"

"Ang, hi."

"Bella, is something wrong?"

"No… Yes… I don't know." I groaned.

"Why don't आप start from the beginning?"

"Alice came over earlier."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." I decided to push the inevitable off for just a little while. "She and Jasper moved here last year, he got some job offer. They're engaged now."

"That's nice. I'm glad they're still together."

"Yeah. Carlisle and Esme are still in New York – that's where they moved, apparently. Emmett and Rose still live there too; they had a little boy, Noah, in June."

Angela didn't say anything, just waited for me to continue, knowing what was coming.

"He's in Seattle. Has been for over a year."

"It's a big city."

I wasn't sure if she offered that as an explanation to why I hadn't seen him, या a reason why I might not have to.

"I'm going to see him on Saturday." I told her. "Alice is practically forcing me."

"She can't make आप do anything that आप don't want to, Bella."

"It's the right thing to do, I know that. I'm just a little freaked out." I sighed, absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair around my finger. "Besides, Alice कहा that she'll tell him if I don't, that he has the right to know, and he really should hear it from me."

"That's true."

"You just कहा that I didn't have to see him if I didn't want to!" I said, exasperated.

"I was trying to be supportive, honey, but I really agree with Alice. Even if I don't like her making ultimatums like that. He does have the right to know. And I know that you're scared that he won't react well, but आप won't know until आप try."

"And then it'll be too late." I mumbled.

"No, it won't. Come on, Bella, आप know him. Do आप honestly think that he would turn his back on Lily?"

"It's been six years, Ang." I pointed out. "People change."

"Not that drastically they don't."

I hoped she was right.

xxxxx

"Are आप in a hurry, या do आप have a minute?" Donna asked after we had dropped the girls off at school the following morning. I knew that she must be curious, since she had noticed my reaction to seeing Alice the पूर्व day, and our interaction this morning.

"No, it's OK, I've got some time."

"Coffee?"

"Please."

Since our jobs were only a few blocks apart, we each parked in their respective lots and met at our प्रिय coffee place right in between the two places.

"I thought आप might need to talk." Donna कहा as we sat down with our cups at a तालिका, टेबल द्वारा the window.

"You picked up on that, huh?" I stirred the black liquid in the cup in front of me, focusing on the movement of the spoon.

"Miss Cullen told me that she used to live in Forks. I take it that's where आप lived before आप and Lily moved to Seattle?"

I realized that I had never told her where we used to live. I wondered how it had never come up during the past four years.

"Yeah. My junior साल of high school, I moved there to live with my dad when my mom went on the road with my stepdad." Donna had met Renée and Phil when they had visited a few years earlier. "I met Alice already on my first दिन there, and we quickly became really good friends. Then she moved away right before senior साल started, and we लॉस्ट touch. I haven't talked to her since."

"The way आप reacted yesterday morning seemed to be about a lot और than the surprise at seeing an old friend for the first time in years." She noted.

"It was." I took a sip of the coffee. "She's Lily's aunt."

"Biologically, आप mean?" I nodded at her question. "But she didn't even know that you'd had Lily."

"No, she didn't. Like I said, they moved away before senior year, and when I found out I was pregnant a महीना later, I couldn't reach them."

"So Lily's dad doesn't…"

"He doesn't know about her."

"Oh." She was silent for a moment. "I know we've never actually talked about it, but I guess I just figured that आप broke up. I mean, teenage pregnancy doesn't exactly have a good effect on relationships."

"That's probably true." I nodded. "But not what happened in this case."

"And now? Are आप going to tell him?"

"I have to." I sighed. "If I don't, Alice will. And he does have the right to know, even if it's a conversation that I'm not exactly looking आगे to."

"You're afraid that he won't want to be involved in her life?" She guessed, but I shook my head.

"That I could handle. I have for the past five years." I gazed out the window as I continued. "No, what I'm worried about is that he will want to be a part of her life, only to realize that it wasn't what he thought it would be. I could handle the rejection, but Lily… she's just five years old, she shouldn't have to deal with something like that."

Alice

When Jasper got घर from work on Thursday, I popped the CD that Bella had दिया me that morning into the DVD player and started the slide. It was the same pictures that I had seen the पूर्व night, except for the last thirty या so which we hadn't gotten to when my phone had interrupted us. Jasper wanted to see them, and I didn't exactly mind going through them again.

"She really does look a lot like Edward." Jasper noted when the slide was over.

"I know, it's almost scary." I grabbed the phone that was on the तालिका, टेबल in front of us and hit speed dial two. Jasper saw what I was doing and took the phone from me, hitting the end button.

"What are आप doing? I thought आप were going to let Bella tell him?"

"I'm not going to say anything, silly. I just want to make sure that he doesn't – against all odds – have something planned on Saturday that could mess up our plans." I took the phone back and hit the button again.

"Hello?"

"Hi little brother." I never got tired of reminding him that I was three मिनटों older.

"Alice." His voice was only one step above lifeless, just like it had been for years.

"You can't muster a little और enthusiasm for your only sister?" I asked disappointedly.

"Alice!"

"That's better." I stretched out on the couch, putting my feet in Jasper's lap. He mockingly held his nose, and I stuck my tongue out at him. "So, how's your दिन been?"

"You called to ask me that?"

"I can't call my own brother and ask him how his day's been?"

The only reply I got was a sigh.

"The sooner आप tell me, the sooner I'll go away and stop annoying you." I pointed out.

"You'll never stop annoying me." He grumbled."It was fine."

That had been his standard answer for everything the past six years. How are you? Fine. How's school going? Fine. How was work? Fine. Do आप want to go out Saturday? Fine. Or, as was और often the case, no.

"You're going to have to do a lot better than that to get rid of me." I snickered.

"How can someone so small be so annoying? Fine, I got the deal on that new commercial, they really liked my jingle. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." I replied dryly.

I was actually surprised that Bella and Edward hadn't run into each other yet. They were both in the advertising business in the same city. Of course, she had only been working for a couple of months. They probably would have bumped in to each other sooner या later. Well, now it would be sooner.

"Can I go now?"

"No, आप cannot. What are आप doing Saturday?"

"Well, I thought I'd hop the Red-eye to Los Angeles and party with the it-girls. I hear Lindsay Lohan broke up with her girlfriend, and thought I'd give it a go."

"Sarcasm, my old friend. It's been a while. Good to know you've still got it."

"Whatever, Alice." I could hear that his patience was about to run out. "Why are आप asking?"

"I thought आप might want to come over here and hang out with me and Jasper instead of doing what आप always do on Saturday night – nothing."

"I am not being set up द्वारा आप again." He warned me.

"Oh come on! I was talking about पिज़्ज़ा, पिज्जा and a movie! Give me some credit… And that last girl was not so bad."

"She spent the entire evening talking about her six cats, and then she couldn't understand why I didn't want to come back to her place!"

"Well, maybe आप should have! आप need to get laid!"

He was quiet for a moment.

"I'm going to pretend that आप didn't just say that."

"Oh please. It's true. How long has it been?"

"That's none of your business."

"Six months? Longer?" The hint of anger in his voice was reassuring; at least he still had some human reactions in him.

"If you're just going to be rude, I'm going to hang up."

"No, Edward, wait!" I paused to make sure that he was still there. "I'm sorry, OK. आप know I just worry about you."

"Well, आप don't have to. I'm fine."

There it was again.

"Will आप please come over on Saturday night? I don't like to think about आप all alone in that cold place आप insist on living in."

"I like my apartment."

"See? Apartment. Not even आप think of it as "home", because it's not. It's just some bare, sorry excuse for a…"

"Will आप stop criticizing my apartment if I agree to come over on Saturday?" He interrupted.

"Yes."

"OK, fine. But no set ups! I'll leave if I even suspect that you're up to something!"

"None whatsoever! पार करना, क्रॉस my दिल and hope to die."

"OK. See आप Saturday."

"See you."

I hung up the phone.

"Hopefully not." I added to myself.

"What was that for?" Jasper wondered. "I thought we had a quiet evening planned on Saturday. In my book, that doesn't include your brother, no matter how good a friend he is. But, I mean, if that's what's blowing up your स्कर्ट these days…" I slapped him on the arm.

"I'm counting on him being otherwise engaged on Saturday night." I कहा with a mischievous smile.

"Aren't आप the eternal optimist."

Edward

I stared at the phone for a moment after I had hung up. I wished that Alice would just give it a rest. I knew that she was just being a good sister, trying to cheer up her depressed brother, but it really was no use.

There was nothing wrong with most of the girls she had set me up with in the past couple of years. Most of them had been pretty, the majority nice, and some even funny and interesting to talk to.

None of that mattered, of course.

Because none of them were her.

Revelations

Bella

द्वारा seven thirty on Saturday morning, I was a nervous wreck. Naturally, I hadn't been able to sleep much, and had spent the majority of the night obsessing over the coming meeting, getting और and और anxious as the glowing मिनटों ticked द्वारा on my alarm clock.

When there was a knock on the door, I almost jumped out of my skin, even though I knew it was just Angela who was coming to pick Lily up for breakfast and a दिन at the zoo. She had willingly offered to keep Lily occupied so that I at least wouldn't have to worry about that part. Plenty of other things to worry about, though…

"You seem on edge." Angela noted as I let her into the apartment.

"I can't imagine why." I mumbled, not wanting Lily, who was in the living room, to hear. The sound of someone knocking on the door usually brought her into the hallway, and today was no expression.

"Aunty Angela!" She exclaimed, running straight into Angela's waiting arms.

"Hey there, princess." Angela gave her a किस on the cheek and swung her up in the air. "Are आप ready to spend the दिन at the zoo with me and your uncle Ben?"

"Penguins!" A huge smile spread on Lily's face.

"Yeah, we can look at the penguins all दिन if आप want." Angela said, putting Lily back down on the floor.

I helped Lily put her princess backpack on, having packed some snacks and a thin जैकेट in it. It was a little chilly outside, and even if she had on a thick sweater, she might need the जैकेट later.

"There's a जैकेट in there if it gets colder." I told Angela, who just rolled her eyes at me.

"I know the drill. Come on, Lily-Lee, let's go. The penguins are waiting!"

"Bye, baby." I knew better than to try to get a goodbye-hug when there were penguins on the horizon – there was no way I could compete with them – so I settled for ruffling Lily's hair a little.

"Bye, mommy." Lily waved at me before opening the door.

"Bye, Bella." Angela gave me a quick hug. "It'll be alright." She mumbled in my ear.

The door closed behind them, and I was alone.

I took a quick शावर, शॉवर and put on the clothes that I had picked out the पूर्व night – with the intention of wanting to prevent a clothing emergency in the morning. I was done a little after eight, but decided that I might as well leave. Getting there early to get a lay of the land seemed like a good idea.

I didn't actually have a plan; I really had tried to figure out what to say and how to say it, but it had been useless. Unless some genius plan suddenly occurred to me in the car, I was just going to have to wing it.

When I got to the coffee shop, I chose a तालिका, टेबल close to the register, and sat down so I was facing it. That way he wouldn't be able to miss me when he had paid for his coffee. At least I hoped so.

And I waited.

द्वारा nine, I had finished two large mugs of coffee and was getting even और jittery than I had been before I left home. Caffeine and nerves were not a good combination – it was funny how I always remembered that when it was already too late.

Every time the little घंटी, बेल over the door jingled, I looked over my shoulder, and every time, it wasn't him. Most people came in, bought their coffees and left, so the place wasn't very crowded, which was a comfort. A small one, but still. I would take anything I could get at this point.

At nine fifteen, I was starting to think that he wasn't coming, and relief surged through me. At least Alice couldn't say that I hadn't tried.

But just as I was about to get up and leave, the घंटी, बेल jingled again. When I automatically looked over my shoulder, my breath caught in my throat and I felt the exact same tingle down my spine that I had felt the first time I had seen him, और than six years earlier.

It felt like no time at all had passed, like I was back in the high school cafeteria where our eyes had met that cold, wet January दिन so long ago.

I had been able to convince myself that I had moved on with my life when he wasn't around, but seeing him now made the truth much too obvious to me. I wasn't over him. I wasn't anywhere near.

He didn't notice me, his eyes focused on the counter ahead of him. I took the opportunity of studying him a little और closely.

He looked the same, but there was something a little off. At first, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but then I realized what it was. He looked tired. He was thinner than I remembered, though that could have been a trick of my mind, and he had dark shadows under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in days. His hair was rumbled, like he had just rolled out of बिस्तर and thrown some clothes on before heading out the door. And the eyes… they were still the same color, of course, but no longer sparklingly green. Instead, they seemed empty somehow.

When he ordered his coffee, his voice hit me, and the memories of that last दिन came washing over me. I had to take a couple of deep breaths to pull myself together. And then he turned around.

Surprise was evident in his eyes as he spotted me, and… did he look happy to see me, या was I imagining it? I couldn't be sure; I didn't trust my own senses at the moment.

"Bella?" He took a step closer, sounding like he didn't really believe that it was me.

"Edward?" I tried to sound surprised, but I don't think I quite managed to pull it off. I threw in raised eyebrows and hoped it looked like I was taken aback द्वारा seeing him.

"What are आप doing here?" He asked, and I held up my empty coffee mug in reply. "No, I mean in Seattle." He clarified.

"I live here."

Obvious much?

"Really? Me too."

"I figured as much." I was surprised at how calm I sounded, when my insides were really all टैंगल्ड up.

"Do आप come here a lot?" He took another step closer.

"It happens." It wasn't technically a lie; I had been to the coffee खरीडिए before. "You?"

"Every weekend, I live a couple of blocks that way." He pointed out the door in the direction of where I knew his apartment was.

"I see." I nodded; I already knew that, of course. "Are आप in a hurry, या would आप like to sit down for a minute?" For a second, I was terrified that he wouldn't stay, and my breath caught in my throat at the thought of watching him walk away.

In response to my question, he pulled out the chair opposite me and sat down, placing his coffee mug on the table. I let out a relieved sigh.

"You're out of coffee." He noted. "Do आप want me to get आप a refill?"

"No, thanks. I've really had all the caffeine I'm allowed for one morning." Who was this person, joking and laughing? I barely recognized myself.

He laughed with me, but it wasn't the laugh I remembered. It seemed empty, like his eyes, hollow somehow. And the smile on his lips didn't reach his eyes.

"So, what are आप up to these days?" Alice had already told me, of course, but it was what one asked in a situation like this, right? I couldn't let it slip that I knew और than I should.

"Well, I studied media at NYU, and some पियानो at Julliard, and now I write commercial jingles during the days and play at a jazz bar a couple of nights a week."

"That sounds like fun. NYU, huh?"

"Yeah, we were in New York anyway, it just seemed easiest." He shrugged.

"New York?" Again, I failed in my attempt to sound surprised, but he didn't seem to notice.

I wasn't sure why I was pushing this; did I want to relive that day? I should really हटाइए on to the reason I was here, but when facing two evils, I instinctively chose the lesser. The pain of remembering the दिन he left was nothing in comparison to the pain I was afraid was coming. If he didn't… no. I wouldn't let myself go there unless – until, the pessimistic voice inside me corrected – I actually had to.

"Right, I didn't tell आप where we were going." Something flashed in his eyes before he looked away, and I briefly wondered if the memory of that दिन hurt him as much as it hurt me, before concluding that that was physically impossible.

"How long have आप lived here?" I changed the topic, and he seemed relieved.

"A little over a year, I moved here after graduation. You?"

"About four years. I went to Seattle U." I was desperately trying to figure out how to broach the topic "hey, आप have a five-year-old daughter आप don't know about". It wasn't exactly something आप just slipped into a conversation, and I didn't want to spring it on him out of the blue. Though that might be a vain intention; I doubted that it would make a difference how I told him, he was still going to be shocked. At best.

"What did आप study?" He wondered.

"Marketing."

"We're almost in the same business, then." He noted.

"I guess so. I just graduated in June, and got a good job in town, so I decided to stick around."

"That's great." He frowned. "Wait, आप कहा that आप graduated this year? How come?"

I took a deep breath and bit my lip. This was my opening. No chickening out now.

"Well, I took a साल off after high school." My दिल was beating so hard that I was surprised he couldn't hear it.

"Why? Did आप do the backpacking thing या something?"

"No." I slowly shook my head, my eyes on the empty mug in front of me. "A little over a महीना after आप left Forks, I found out that I was pregnant."

He was quiet for so long that I eventually had to look up to check his reaction.

"What?" He sounded absent, somehow.

I took the चित्र I had brought with me from my bag and slid it across the तालिका, टेबल towards him. He took it, studying it intently.

"Her name's Lily, she turned five in May."

He stared at the picture for what felt like an eternity. Then he put it down on the table.

"I have to go."

I didn't stop him as he got up from the तालिका, टेबल and left the coffee खरीडिए without looking back at me. I was फ्रोज़न in place, unable to even ask him not to go. Tears formed in my eyes, and I didn't bother to wipe them away when they rolled down my cheeks.

After a while, when I had managed to get my breathing under control and regained the movement in my limbs, I picked up my phone and called Alice. I didn't know what else to do.

"Hello?"

"He left." My voice broke on the सेकंड word.

"Bella?"

"I told him, and he just left."

"What?" She instantly sounded furious. "Are आप still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be there in five minutes."

She walked through the doors four and a half मिनटों later, fuming.

"That stupid, insensitive idiot!" I heard her mutter under her breath when she spotted me. My tears had dried, but I apparently still looked like hell, because she crouched down अगला to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry, sweetie. I honestly didn't think that he would react like this."

"It's not your fault." I mumbled, though, in a way, it was.

"Come on." She pulled me up and along with her out the door. Stopping on the sidewalk, she looked me up and down. "Can आप drive?" She asked skeptically.

"I'm fine, Alice." That wasn't really true, but I could handle driving myself home.

"Then आप can follow me." She headed for her car, and I realized that she still had the Mini. It was parked behind my Accord on the सड़क, स्ट्रीट a block from the coffee shop.

"Where are we going?" I wondered, not really interested, and slouched after her.

"Back to my place."

"I'm fine, Alice." I repeated. "I'm not going to do anything stupid if आप leave me alone. आप don't need to babysit me."

"It's not आप I'm worried about." She muttered. "I need supervision, या I might track down my sorry excuse for a brother and kill him. Very slowly and extremely painfully. And though that does sound like a very good idea right now, I'm not really cut out for a life behind bars."

I couldn't prevent a small smile from spreading across my face at her words. Imagining Alice, of all people, actually hurting anyone was laughable.

"OK." I grudgingly agreed.

"Thank you."

I followed the electrically turquoise car to a brand new apartment building on Seaview Avenue, close to the Golden Gardens Park. When we entered the apartment on the चोटी, शीर्ष floor, I gaped at the view.

"Wow, it's beautiful." The entire दीवार was a panorama window overlooking the bay, a large balcony stretching along it.

"Engagement स्लैश graduation present from mom and dad." Alice shrugged.

Jasper came out of what I assumed was the bedroom, and I realized that Alice had lied to me when she'd कहा that I had to come घर with her to keep an eye on her. I shot her a glare, but she ignored me, and I didn't have the energy to call her on it.

"Hi Bella." Jasper gave me a big hug. "It's good to see आप again."

"You too, Jasper." I returned the hug. Over his shoulder, I saw Alice leave the room.

"I need a beer, do आप want one?" She called from the रसोई, रसोईघर a moment later.

"Sure." I shrugged. I didn't need to be घर until two, when Angela was bringing Lily back. And a बीयर, बियर sounded like a very good idea.

"Let's sit on the balcony." Alice suggested, coming back into the room. "It's not that warm, but we have blankets."

I noticed Alice giving Jasper a questioning look, and him shake his head almost imperceptibly in return. I briefly wondered what that was about, but wasn't curious enough to actually ask. Alice held the door to the balcony open for me and handed me a bottle of Corona.

It was a little chilly outside, and I gratefully accepted the blanket that Alice offered me. Jasper didn't शामिल होइए us, slumping down on the सोफ़ा, सोफे and turning the TV on instead. Alice and I sat down on a wicker सोफ़ा, सोफे that was placed against the panorama window and looked out over the water in silence for a moment.

"You didn't have to trick me into coming back here." I pointed out.

"Sorry." She gave me a sheepish smile. "Do आप want to leave?"

"No, it's probably better this way. I would just wallow in self pity if I went home."

"And if you're going to do that, आप need बीयर, बियर and ice cream." Alice said. At first, I thought that she was joking, but she sounded completely serious.

"I haven't actually tried that combination."

"Oh, it's great." She got up from the couch. "Chocolate ठगना, हेराफेरी Brownie या स्ट्रॉबेरी, स्ट्राबेरी Cheesecake?"

"Chocolate, always go with the chocolate."

She giggled and returned a मिनट later with a tub of Ben & Jerry and two spoons. We dug into the ice cream, and I had to admit that the combo was pretty good.

"You know I'm still here, right?" She कहा a moment later. "I mean, I still want to be a part of your lives no matter what happens with him." She almost spat the last word.

"I know, and of course आप will be." I wanted that too.

"Not just as Miss Alice?"

"Not just as Miss Alice." I promised.

"And do आप think I could tell the others? I mean, I know mom would be ecstatic."

"I guess."

It would be nice for Lily to have a bigger family than just me, Charlie and Renée. Even if the idea of another set of grandparents might be difficult to explain to her without touching on the subject of another parent.

"Thank you." Alice squeezed my hand. "I'm honored to be a part of yours and Lily's lives, and I promise to never abuse your trust again."

"It's not your fault, Alice." I repeated. I really didn't blame her.

"But I should have realized. What else is this stupid twin thing good for?" She sighed. "I really thought I knew him better than this."

"So did I."

Alice

I let Bella leave after we'd had lunch at one. She promised that she would go straight over to Angela and Ben's place and hang out with them for the rest of the day, since I kept insisting that she shouldn't be alone.

"What are आप going to do?" Jasper asked when I closed the door behind her, once again proving how well he knew me.

"I am going to pay a little visit to brother dearest." I got the spare key Edward had दिया me in case of emergency from the रसोई, रसोईघर drawer where we kept it. This was most definitely an emergency.

"Slap him for me too, will you? Hard." Were Jasper's parting words.

Edward wasn't there when I let myself in. That was fine.

I could wait.

Edward

To see Bella again was a shock, to say the least.

When I walked out of her रसोई, रसोईघर और than six years earlier, I had expected it to be the last time I would see her. Before talking to her that day, I had gone over the problem of me moving to New York again and again in my head, and I had really thought that we would be able to make it work. Sure, long-distance would be hard, but it would only be for a year. Then we would go to Seattle U together, and everything would be fine.

Her words had changed all that.

Of course I had expected her to be upset, angry, maybe even furious, that I hadn't told her about the हटाइए earlier, but I hadn't been prepared for what actually happened.

What did आप think would happen? We'd do one of those long-distance relationships until one of us got sick of it? We both know those never work.

The words still stuck in my mind; it was as if they were burned in my memory. Like when आप look directly at the sun, and then see a red वृत्त when आप close your eyes. Only they wouldn't go away.

She couldn't have been as devoted to our relationship as I had been if she wasn't willing to at least try? If she could give up on what we'd had together that easily, did she really care?

So I had walked away, before she had a chance to say the words that would completely destroy everything we'd had.

Every दिन for those first months, I dialed her number at least a dozen times. And a dozen times, I didn't call.

Because though I knew those words would give me the push I needed to हटाइए on, I desperately clung to the memories of our time together. I needed them.

And so I never called.

After college, there really was no सवाल about where I would go. It had been her plan to go to Seattle U; I had no reason to think that she would have changed her mind. I figured that it was probably a fifty-fifty chance that she would stay in the city.

A week after graduation, I moved into my new apartment.

Because a small part of me – the part that refused to believe that she had कहा those words because she no longer cared the way that I did – was screaming to the rest that Seattle was the only place to go. Where else would I be likely to run into her?

Sure, I had entertained the thought of driving to Forks to see her और than once since then, but every time the thought had popped into my head, I had managed to convince myself not to. And I turned around in the सड़क, स्ट्रीट at least once a week when someone passed द्वारा that reminded me of her in some way.

She had moved on, of course she had. Even if that small, delirious part of me wasn't wrong, and there had been some other reason that she had disregarded the idea of us staying together after I moved across the country, she must have moved on with her life. It had been six years. Just because I was stuck in the past didn't mean she had to be, too. A part of me hoped that she had in fact moved on, wanted her to be happy, but it was overshadowed द्वारा the part that didn't most of the time. Deep down, I was a very selfish creature.

And then there she was, right in front of me. Looking so much like Bella that it physically hurt. At the same time, seeing her made me happier than I had been in longer than I cared to think about. Talk about conflicting emotions.

"Bella?" I took a step closer to assure my disbelieving eyes that it was really her, and not some mirage. What I really wanted to do was touch her, but I didn't think that was the greatest idea. A tiny part of my brain was telling me that it had, at last, happened; I had finally लॉस्ट my mind and started hallucinating. And then she spoke.

"Edward?" She raised her eyebrows in a surprised look, but there was a tone of something else in her voice. I didn't know, या care, what that was about.

"What are आप doing here?" I couldn't help but ask, and she held up a coffee mug. "No, I mean in Seattle."

"I live here." She actually lived in the same city as I did? Even though I had hoped that she was still in Seattle, I hadn't dared let myself believe that she actually was.

"Really? Me too." Redundant, idiot!

"I figured as much."

"Do आप come here a lot?" Lamest सवाल ever, but my mind hadn't fully recovered from the shock of seeing her and wasn't working on any higher levels yet.

"It happens." Why had I never run in to her before? "You?"

"Every weekend, I live a couple of blocks that way."

I pointed in the general direction of my apartment, and cursed my words. Every weekend? Sure, make her think that you're completely pathetic. Which आप are, द्वारा the way.

"I see." She nodded. "Are आप in a hurry, या would आप like to sit down for a minute?"

I had no idea if I had any plans for the day, but it wouldn't have mattered. There was no way I was walking away from her at the moment. I pulled the chair opposite hers out and sat down, noticing that her mug was empty.

"You're out of coffee." Like she didn't already know that… "Do आप want me to get आप a refill?"

"No, thanks. I've really had all the caffeine I'm allowed for one morning."

I joined in on her laugh, but even I could hear that it sounded strange. It had been a while since I had laughed without forcing it. It felt nice, but odd.

"So, what are आप up to these days?" She asked.

"Well, I studied media at NYU, and some पियानो at Julliard, and now I write commercial jingles during the days and play at a jazz bar a couple of nights a week."

"That sounds like fun. NYU, huh?"

"Yeah, we were in New York anyway, it just seemed easiest." I shrugged.

"New York?"

I realized that she didn't know that. The memory of that दिन hit me so hard I almost लॉस्ट my breath.

"Right, I didn't tell आप where we were going." I had to look away from her to avoid seeing the accusation that would be in her eyes. That should be there.

I wondered if the memory of that दिन still tortured her like it did me. Probably not.

"How long have आप lived here?" She wondered, and I silently thanked her for changing the subject.

"A little over a year, I moved here after graduation. You?"

"About four years. I went to Seattle U."

Had we really been in the same city for और than a year? Seattle was big, but I would have thought that we'd inevitably run into each other in a bookshop या संगीत store.

"What did आप study?" I was actually curious to know what she had ended up doing, even if it was also a way to get her to talk more, stay longer. I couldn't भालू the thought of her leaving yet.

"Marketing."

Funny.

"We're almost in the same business, then." Even stranger that our paths hadn't crossed before now.

"I guess so. I just graduated in June, and got a good job in town, so I decided to stick around."

"That's great." June? This June? I frowned. "Wait, आप कहा that आप graduated this year? How come?"

She was smart, dedicated to school. I couldn't imagine that she would have been held back.

"Well, I took a साल off after high school."

Oh. Why would she do that? I didn't think she was the kind to go backpacking across the country, but maybe I was wrong.

"Why? Did आप do the backpacking thing या something?"

"No." She shook her head and kept her eyes on the mug in front of her, so I couldn't read her expression. "A little over a महीना after आप left Forks, I found out that I was pregnant."

I heard the words, but they didn't immediately register.

Pregnant?

"What?"

She rummaged through her bag, and then slid a चित्र across the table. I automatically picked it up. A little girl, maybe five years या so, was sitting on a swing, a smile on her face.

"Her name's Lily, she turned five in May."

I studied the picture और closely. She had the same color hair that I did, and even I could see the other similarities. The same nose, same cheek bones. She was even smiling the same, slightly crooked smile that I had perfected during high school. The eyes were Bella's though.

I felt overwhelmed द्वारा merely looking at her, and concentrated on the rest of the चित्र instead. I recognized the background as the playground in Cal Anderson Park, just a couple of blocks away. I walked through that park every time I went downtown. Had I passed through there when they had been there? Maybe only a dozen या so feet away? The thought made my head spin. I put the चित्र down.

"I have to go."

I got up abruptly and left the coffee shop. She didn't try to stop me.

Once I was on the sidewalk, I didn't know what to do, so I started walking without a goal, letting my feet choose the way as my mind wandered freely.

Lily.

My daughter.

My daughter.

The words didn't seem to fit together at all; I couldn't get my mind to लपेटें itself around the concept. It was just… mind-blowing.

It was a wonder that I didn't get run over, because the अगला time I became aware of my surroundings, I was outside the library. I had walked over a mile, and had no memory whatsoever of the route I had taken.

My cell phone started vibrating in my pocket, and I pulled it out. Alice. I waited until the call went to voice mail and then turned the phone off. I didn't want to deal with her at the moment.

I continued down to पाइक Place Market, took a right and ended up in Elliot खाड़ी, बे Park, where I finally stopped. I sat down on the damp घास and stared out over the bay, not seeing what was right in front of me. Instead, the picture in front of my eyes was that of a beautiful little girl with big, brown eyes.

I sat there for I don't know how long. It was a nice day, and people passed द्वारा me continuously. College students on bikes, couples holding hands, families with kids and dogs. A hot dog vender came along after a while, and I realized that I was starving, so I bought two and quickly finished them.

I didn't think actively, only let my mind wander where it pleased. Which was why I was unaware that I had come to a decision until I actually had.

There was a little girl out there that was my daughter, my own flesh and blood, and I had already missed five years of her life – five years that I would never get back. I had no intention of missing another minute.

I got up, absentmindedly noticing that the park was almost empty – a glance at my watch told me that it was almost four in the afternoon – and went in खोजिए of a phone booth. I finally found one, and quickly flipped through the directory.

"Swan, Swan… Swan, B." There were three listings for Swan, B. and I tried the first number.

"Hello?" A male voice answered.

"Hi, I'm calling for Bella."

"There's no Bella here, you've got the wrong number."

I didn't have a chance to apologize before he hung up.

The सेकंड number went straight to an answering machine that informed me that Bradley हंस was not in at the moment, but to leave a message and he would get back to me. The third number had been disconnected.

How was I supposed to find her if she wasn't listed?

I slumped against the wall, running a hand over my face. Then I realized how stupid I had been and flipped to the same page of the directory again. She wouldn't be listed as Bella, of course.

"Swan, I." I mumbled to myself as I ran a finger down the page. There were two of those, but I got lucky on the first one.

"Hi, you've reached Bella."

"And Lily!"

"We're not in right now, but leave a message, and we'll get back to you."

"Bye!"

I didn't leave a message, but ripped the page with their number and address from the directory and stuffed it into my back pocket.

Realizing that I was five miles from home, I caught a cab on Elliot Avenue and was at my apartment in ten minutes.

"Edward." I heard Alice's sharp voice from the living room when I closed the door behind me.

"I knew I would regret giving आप a key." I muttered as I entered the रसोई, रसोईघर and found her glaring at me from the सोफ़ा, सोफे in the adjoining living room.

"What the hell do आप think you're doing?" She looked absolutely furious, her eyes throwing daggers at me.

"I was just about to throw an intruder from my home, actually." I glared back at her. "How about you?"

I was definitely not in the mood for this.

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"Then would आप please tell me what आप are talking about, because I sure as hell don't have a clue." I took a jug of नारंगी, ऑरेंज रस from the fridge and poured some into a glass, downing it in one big gulp.

"I'm talking about what आप did this morning. I'm talking about Bella."

I froze as I realized that she knew.

"You know?" I slowly turned to face her.

"Of course I know!" She had a livid expression on her face. I hadn't seen her this angry since… well, ever. "Did आप think it was a coincidence, that she just happened to be in the same coffee खरीडिए that आप go to every Saturday for breakfast?"

"You know." I repeated. I put the glass down on the counter, because I was afraid I'd crush it in my hand if I didn't. "How the hell could आप not tell me?"

"I only found out three days ago! Bella promised that she would talk to you, and I thought आप should hear it from her. I would have told आप if she had refused." Her expression changed from pure fury to disgust. "Now I'm starting to regret pushing her to do this. How could you?"

"This is none of your business, Alice." I कहा through gritted teeth.

"Like hell it isn't!" She got up from the सोफ़ा, सोफे and for a moment I thought that she was going to hit me. She didn't, though, but stopped an inch from me and looked as menacing as she could. She was surprisingly good at it, considering she didn't even reach me to the shoulders.

"Just stay out of it, Alice." I warned. She did hit me then, slapped me across the face.

"And watch आप ruin everything? I swear, if आप break that little girl's heart, I will never speak to आप again! आप hear me? Never!"

I touched my left cheek, which stung a little. Then her words registered.

"Wait, you've met her?"

"Of course I have, she's in my class."

"She's… what?" I was not following her.

"She's in my new first grade class that started this Wednesday." Alice clarified. I could hear in her voice that the anger was wearing off.

"But she's five." I tried to connect the dots, but didn't quite succeed.

"I know." Alice shrugged. "Her best friend is a साल older, and the pre-school teachers thought it would be better if they could start first grade together, so Bella had her start school a साल early. She's very mature for her age."

"What's she like?" I asked, eager to know this stranger that was my daughter.

Alice glared at me again.

"Why do आप care?"

"How can आप say that? Of course I care."

"You sure have a funny way of दिखा रहा है it." She muttered. I realized that she was talking about Bella and the coffee shop.

"I was shocked, I couldn't think straight!" I tried to explain.

"And why the hell didn't आप tell Bella that we were moving to New York? Do आप have any idea of the hell she must have gone through?" Her quick change of subject threw me for a moment before I realized what she was talking about.

I didn't want to think about that day. Alice must have realized that she had hit a sore spot, because she quickly continued, without waiting for an answer

"So now what?"

That was the big question, wasn't it? I pondered it for a moment.

"I want to see her, know her. Be a part of her life, in any way possible. I couldn't stand not to, now that I know that she's out there, आप know." The idea was unbearable; I felt a lump forming in my throat at just thinking about it.

Alice surprised me द्वारा wrapping her arms around my waist. I hugged her back.

"Thank आप for not being the jerk I was afraid I was wrong thinking that आप weren't."

"Could आप take that in English?"

"Never mind." She pulled away. "You have some serious sucking up to do."