Michael: (Talking Head) Well, David Wallace was replaced by Beardy. And as it turns out Beardy is slightly insane. He gave all of us different jobs for some reason. So, now, I'm working in Accounting with David Brent, Andy, Ryan, and Kelly... Basically there are 19 people in this office, and not one them has the same job that they had a week ago.

Cuts to Tim, Jim, Stanley, and Dawn answering phones in Customer Service.

Tim: (Talking head) Well, me and Dawn are working for Dundler-Mifflin again. It turns out that we signed a contract before coming to Scranton that said that if we didn't each spend three years in their employment, we could be sued!!! So, I kind of had no choice. Although, apparently our CEO is insane, so being Sued doesn't sound that bad!!!

Dawn: I'm supposed to be a receptionist, not someone in Customer service!!! This is insane.

Stanley: Welcome to Dundler-Mifflin!!!

(Pam is sitting at Dwight's desk, talking on the phone)

Pam: Well, Mr. Waterman, I can't honestly say whether this paper is made from 100% recycled material, but I think that if you wanted to recycle it, that would be okay.

(Pam looks up at the camera and shrugs. We now see Dwight sitting at Toby's desk, looking through files)

Dwight: (to himself) Man, there are a lot of complaints here about Michael.

(Dwight walks into Michael's office and Creed is sitting there)

Dwight: What are you doing here?

Creed: (smoking a doobie) The new CEO put me in charge. (gazing at Dwight) Your head is really big.

(Dwight glares at Creed and walks over to accounting, where Michael is sitting)

Dwight: Michael, as I am now in charge of human resources, I would like to have time to deal with all these complaints about our former Regional Manager.

Michael: Wait, what? I'm the former Regional Manager. People complained about me?

Dwight: (holding up a huge file folder) This is just for the last three months.

Michael: I can't believe Toby hid that from me. Where is Toby?

Kelly: He's the new security guard. (giggling) Ryan, honey, I can't figure out how to use the calculator.

Creed:(talking heads) I'm gonna change Dunder-Mifflin Scranton in so many ways. Such as,we'll have some new kinds of lunch. Like that soup they have at the soup kitchen.Also, I'm gonna change the dress code around here (looks at Pam)

(Camera cuts to Meredith, who is now working in sales.)

Meredith: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST BUY IT!!! ...Thank you, Mr. Parker, that is a very generous offer.

Phyllis: (Walks up to Meredith) So, how is it down here in sales?

Meredith: It's okay. I got all of your clients, and, to tell the truth, they are all kind of wimps.

Phyllis: Yeah, I end up getting your job.

Meredith: Cool..

Phyllis: So, um, what is your job? What am I suppose to be doing?

Meredith: Well, you are now in charge of customer relations!!!

Phyllis: What does that mean? Is there something that your suppose to be doing?

Meredith: I have no idea! I just use to sit around at my computer, drinking and playing solitaire!!!

(Toby is sitting at the security desk. He is wearing the security guard's uniform and has his feet propped up on the desk, reading a newspaper)

Toby: (IN TALKING HEAD) At first, I thought this was going to be a bad idea. But, it's actually really nice. I don't have to listen to Kelly all day and I keep detaining Michael and making him call Creed to confirm he's allowed in the building.

(Everyone is assembled in the conference room. Michael looks around)

Michael: Where's Creed?

(The camera pans over to Michael's office. The door is closed and there is a thick cloud of smoke engulfing the room. The camera pans back to the conference room)

Dwight: Okay, we don't need Creed for this. Michael and I have come up with an idea to put the office back to normal, so Michael will be Regional Manager again and I will be Assistant Regional Manager.

Jim: Acutally, I'm Assistant Regional Manager.

Dwight: Yea, well, it won't be put completely back to normal. In fact, this plan includes firing you.

Jim: Okay, but answer me this. Does the plan include you being re-instated as a Volunteer Sheriff?

(Dwight hesitates and looks down at his notepad. He flips through it quickly and then looks back up)

Dwight: It does not.

Stanley: What is the plan? Because I am tired of answering phones.

Stanley: (IN TALKING HEAD) I don't know what they have planned, but I'm sure its going to be stupid.

At Receptionist Desk.

Darryl: (answering phone) "Dunder Mifflin this is Darryl." Darryl half rolls his eyes, half glares at the camera.

Darryl: (talking head) "They made me the receptionist. I'm not qualified to be the receptionist." Long Pause.

Darryl: (on phone) "I'll transfer you to him right away." (calling Creed in his office) "Creed, you have a call."

Creed: (on phone) "Hello?"
David Wallace: "Creed, this is David Wallace."
Creed looks confused then hangs up the phone. He smiles at the camera.

(Cut back to the Conferance room)

Kevin: (Raises hand) um, maybe we should just leave things be. It'd just be so much easier...

Kevin: (Talking head) I actually like my new job. I know work in Quality assurance with Oscar now. It's pretty brainless work and we don't have to sit across from Angela. Besides, accounting can really stink at times! I mean, 3x4=12, 6+18=24, 9x9=99!!! It gets really repetative...

Angela: Well, as much as I enjoy not having to watch two fellow co-workers waste their time throw around a piece of paper when they could be doing work, I really hate being a saleswoman. I mean, a receptionist, alcoholic, accountant, and warehouse workers are selling paper. None of us even have the training.

Michael: Wait, if all of the warehouse workers now work up here, then who is working in the warehouse.

(Cut to the warehouse)

Gareth is lying on the ground exhausted and alone.

Gareth: ...Can't... go... on...

(Cut back to the conference room)

Dwight: Wait, if only Gareth is in the warehouse, that means they probably need more people to work down there.

Michael: Oooh! I could use the bailer!

(Michael and Dwight run out of the conference room, but Darryl tackles Michael before he gets to the door)

Darryl: Michael, I've told you before. You have to be trained to use the bailer.

Michael: But Gareth is using it.

Darryl: What? That white cracker is touching my bailer!

(Darryl runs out of the office. The phone is ringing at reception, but no one answers it. Dwight and Michael go back into the conference room, but everyone has left. Jim sneaks up and closes the door, locking Michael and Dwight in)

Dwight: (knocking on the window) Dammit Jim, this is not funny!

Jim: You should be out here, cause it's really funny from this side.

(Jim heads back to Customer Service. Pam is playing Solitaire at Dwight's desk and Meredith is doing jello shots at Jim's desk)

Dwight: Michael, we have to do something. No one is doing their jobs. Dunder Mifflin we'll be downsized.

Michael: This is all your fault, Dwight.

Dwight: No, no. We just need to follow my plan. It involves a bouncy castle and faking Jim's death.

Michael: You idiot. We've done that before. It doesn't work.

Dwight: Okay, okay. Plan B. No bouncy castle and Jim really dies.

Michael: No!!! We just need to see Beardy and get all of our jobs back.

Dwight: Can we still kill Jim?

Michael: Well, if he doesn't let us out soon, then maybe!!!

(Cut to Beardy's office)

Beardy: Your plan worked, sir. I am now officially the CEO of Dundler-Mifflin.

Mysterious man: Excellent... Now those idiots in Scranton are putty in my hands...

Beardy: Umm... Technically, they're putty in MY hands. It is my company.

Mysterious man: And you're putty in MY hands, which by extension, makes the Scranton people putty in my hands as well.

Beardy: Yes, sir.

Mysterious Man: Now, I need you to give Ryan's old job to a Mr. Roy Anderson.

Beardy: Consider it done, Mr. Devon!!!

Devon: Excellent. Michael Scott will rue the day that he fired me!!! (Evil and Maniacal laugh)

Beardy: AHAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh)

Devon: (Turns his chair to reveal his new girlfreind)Its all over now...

Karen: Its all over Jim....

Karen: (after a brief make-out session with Beardy) "Oh, Beardy-poo, what's your real name?"
Beardy: "My real name? Why, my real name is Tom! I faked my death several years ago. I was suffering depression and that moron Michael Scott - we'll let's just say that the fact that he doesn't read our employee comments will lead to his slow excruciating death."
They both laugh maniacally then pass-out because they didn't stop to take a breath.

Devon: (Looks down at the passed out Beardy and Karen) Idiots. (His cellphone rings. Devon answers it.) Hello?

Mysterious woman: Hi, Devon, honey, I would like permission to execute David Wallace.

Devon: Alright, Katy! You can kill him.

Katy: Hooray. I love you, Devon.

Devon: Yeah, whatever...

(Cut to David Wallace who is locked in a basement)

David Wallace: Yes. That slut holding me hostage was dumb enough to leave behind her cellphone. (Dials 911) Hello. I am being held hostage in a purse saleswoman's basement!!!

911 operator: This line is for emergencies only.

David Wallace: WELL NO DUH! DO I SOUND LIKE I'M ORDERING A PIZZA?!?

911 operator: (hangs up)

David Wallace: (Dials another number) Hello?

Darryl: Dunder Mifflin this is Darryl.

David Wallace: Hi. This is David Wallace. This is important...

Darryl: I'll transfer you to him right away.

Creed: Hello?

David Wallace: Creed, this is David Wallace.

Creed: (Hangs up.)

David Wallace: NO WAIT!!! (Dials the same number again, nobody answers due to Daryll having gone to prevent Gareth from being killed by a bailer)

Katy: (Enters the basement with a handgun) Good-bye, David Wallace. (Points gun at David Wallace's head)

David Wallace: NOOOOOO!!!

(Gun goes off and the scene cuts to Jim and Pam)

(Jim is leaning against Pam's desk)

Jim: This all seems so strange. Why would David Wallace just quit like that? And what is Beardy's real name?

Pam: Jim, we can't think about thinks like this. I have a bunch of clients to call back and (starts laughing) yea, I'm just kidding. Let's go to corporate and find out what is happening.

(Pam and Jim head for the door. Out in the parking lot, they see Michael and Dwight getting into Michael's car)

Jim: Where are you two going?

Dwight: Corporate.

Jim: Oh, us too. (pause) Maybe we should go in one car, save gas.

(Dwight hesitates, pondering the pros and cons. Jim rolls his eyes)

Dwight: Okay. But Michael's car isn't big enough.

Pam: I have the keys to Meredith's van.

Jim: You do?

Pam: Yea, I'm her designated driver.

Jim: At work?

Pam: You don't pay attention to Meredith much, do you?

(Michael, Dwight, Pam and Jim jump in Meredith's van and head for New York. Meanwhile, back in Katy's basement...)

Devon: Is it all done?

Katy: Yeah, the man is dead, the memo is out, and they are heading over here right now...

Devon: Those four have been in our way for so long...

Karen: How are we gonna kill 'em?

Beardy: in ways they killed us karen...in ways they killed us...

(Michael, Dwight, Jim and Pam walk into the lobby of corporate. Sitting at the reception desk is Mose)

Dwight: Mose! What are you doing here? You haven't left the farm since...well, you've never left the farm.

Mose: Where's Ryan?

Michael: Ugh. We have more important business. We need to see Beardy right away.

Mose: He's downstairs. In the basement.

Pam: Why are they in the basement?

Mose: You're pretty.

Jim: Okay, Michael and Dwight should go downstairs and Pam and I will stay up here.

Go Mose!

(three hours later)

Jim: Man were are they?

Pam: Yeah I know they've been gone for such a long time.

Mose: Smiles You're Pretty Pam. That's a cute name, Pam.

Pam: (smiles) Well thanks you Mose. I used to think you were a freak, but really your a sweet guy.

Jim: (looks disgusted)

Jim: anyways....we need to go downstairs.

Mose: what if it's a trap?

Jim: Why would Beardy want to hurt us? We've just wanna talk to him.

(Jim and Pam and Mose go downstairs)

(In the basement, Michael and Dwight are tied up in chairs. Beardy, Karen, Devon and Katy are standing in front of them)

Michael: Devon, come on. How can you want to kill me? I gave you coupons to Chilis.

Dwight: I am a Volunteer Sherrif and you are all under arrest. (to Katy) I knew I shouldn't have bought a purse from you.

Katy: (to Beardy) Where's Jim? I want to see Jim!

Karen: Jim? How do you know Jim?

Katy: We dated for awhile.

(Beardy starts to look a little nervous)

Beardy: Come on girls. Focus on the task at hand.

Karen: You dated Jim? I'll kill you!

(Karen runs at Katy and the two women start struggling. Michael and Devon stop arguing to watch. They each start to smile. Meanwhile, Dwight tries to undo his bonds. Suddenly, Mose walks through the door, followed by Pam and Jim. Beardy pulls a gun on Jim, Pam and Mose)

Devon: Well, well. Looks like we are all here. Don't move or Beardy will shoot you.

Jim: (IN TALKING HEAD) I can't believe this is happening. (pause) I can't believe that guy's name is actually Beardy.

Devon: (Grabs a walkie-talkie) I want every single one of my minions to come to the Basement. Several Scranton people have shown up and there may be more coming.

Jim: Wait, there are more of you?

Devon: Yes, I spent the last two years finding everyone who has been screwed over by Dundler-Mifflin in the past and enlisting them in my plot for revenge. Prepare to meet some familar faces

Roy, Jan, Hunter, Todd Packer, and all the people who use to work for Stamford (Aside from Andy, of course, Karen, who was already there, and Josh, who really had no reason to seek revenge on Dundler-Mifflin).

Mose steps away from the group, holding a gun on Jim and Pam.

Dwight: MOSE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Mose: I built two high tech robots, both of which were destroyed by Dundler-Mifflin people. I kind of wanted just a little revenge!!!

(In Mose's Basement:Karen and Katy are fighting, michael and devon are watching intently, Dwight is attempting to escape and Mose, Pam, and jim are at Beardy's gun point)

Jim: Ok beardy...what did we ever do to you?

Beardy: You all ruined my dreams I always wanted to be more than just a salesman but all you people did was help that damn Wallace advance higher in the company!

(Dwight charges towards beardy and takes the gun out of his hand after doing some karate moves)

Jim: thanks dwight

Pam: ya that guy is crazy

Dwight: I saw a citizen breaking the law and interfered

Dwight: Now everyone stop what your are doing this place is under lock down!

(Karen and Katy stop fighting)

Karen: Shut up dwight everyone nows you are just a volunteer!!!

(Karen lunges at dwight and manages to get the gun from his grip)

(Karen points it at pam)

Karen: this is all your fault! If it werent for you me and jim would be the happiest couple ever! but you, you had to ruin it didnt you?

Katy: Cluelessly asks pam how her wedding went

(Pam, jim, and karen look at her in astonishment)

(Karen turns her attention back at Jim and Pam)

Karen: and you jim, if you loved her the whole time why did you even want to be with me? was it just to break my heart? to show me off? huh?

Michael: he rebounded...

Katy: wait jim has a crush on pam?

(The 3 again look at her in astonishment)

Jim: its over karen just let it go...

(karen cocks the gun and points it at pam)

Karen: this will take care of everything...

(as karen shoots the gun katy jumps on her forcing a week shot to pam's leg)

Karen: get off of me!

(karen jumps at jim attempting one last kiss)

(Jim is fighting Karen off while Dwight attempts CPR on Pam. There is a a clamour upstairs and Andy appears in the doorway with a spud gun. Ryan is behind him with Dwight's knunchuks. Further back, we see Angela, Darryl and the rest of Scranton staff, except for Kevin)

Andy: No one move or I will have to learn how to use this spud gun.

(The gun accidentally goes off and hits Mose. He drops to the ground)

Mose: Oh, the irony.

Devon: (Looks at the Scranton staff) Oh, for the love of god... turn back, or else.

Andy: Face it, weird guy whom I have never even met, you've lost. What are you going to do to stop us?

Devon: This!!! (Walks behind Michael's chair and grabs a shotgun that is strapped to the back) EVERYBODY FREEZE!!!

Ryan and Andy drop their weapons while Karen and Jim stop fighting.

Devon: Okay, we only have grudges with some of you... So we will let most of you leave this place and head back to Scranton. But the following will be left behind. First of all, Michael and Creed!!!

Karen: Jim and Andy!

Andy: Hey, why me?

Karen: You've always really bugged me!!!

Katy: The guy who bought the purse from me and Pam

Beardy: Oh, and Phyllis!!!

Phyllis: Huh?

Beardy: Your perfumes stink!!!

Devon: And if you refuse, I'll just call in reinforcements!!!

Tim: You have reinforcements?

Devon: Yes, everyone who has ever been screwed over by Dundler-Mifflin!!! Hunter, who was bullied around by some crazy guy! Roy, whom was dumped for a certain employee! Jan...

Michael: Jan, as in my live-in girlfriend, is one of the people who is trying to have me killed?

Devon: Yeah. She was kind of pissed off about being fired!!! Oh, and Todd Packer, whose Robot copy was heartlessly destroyed by Creed!

Ryan: So, all we have to do, is give you Phyllis and Andy, and then we don't get murdered?

Karen: Leave us Angela too!!!

Stanley: Deal.

Angela, Andy, Creed, and Phyllis are tossed in the room while the rest of the office slams the door and run away. Leaving Andy, Angela, Phyllis, Jim, Pam, Michael, Creed, and Dwight alone with all of the bad guys.

Dwight: Can you guys give us some time to make a plan?

Devon: (narrows eyes) you get one 30 secs.

Dwight: Phyliss jump on karen, creed you know karate, i know karate and i'm a volunteer sherriff deputy pam if you got makeup that would help. just attack em!

(everybody charges at em)

Pam: God my leg hurts...thanks karen...

Karen: you're welcome.

(In the corner Jim and pam sit nestled comforting eachother as jim wraps his shirt around the wound,angela is praying on dwight lap,creed is comforting phyllis, and michael and andy are haveing a stare off as they are all being starved at gunpoint)

Phyllis: you know we are in a beet farm the least you could do is get us some beets...

Karen: shut up...we are hungry too

(andy whispers to michael): hey how do we know if that gun is even loaded?

michael:we dont...

(andy stands up and looks at devon)

Andy: shoot me now

Devon: shut up and sit down!

(andy takes a step towards devon)

Devon: i said sit down!

(Andy punches devon in the jaw)

Andy: i miss that...big tuna come here and help me take down karen

Jim: i think you can handle it...

Karen: no jim i think andy needs a topless jim's help...

Pam: Im so sick of you!

(pam throws herself at karen)

karen: you are such a bitch!

(pam reaches for the handgun that has been laying on the floor unnoticed since devon picked up the other gun)

Pam: i have waited years and years to get jim, you got him after 3 months!

(pam picks up the gun and leans back unable to stand on her weakened leg, gun is pointed at karen)

Pam: the tables are turned, ive been saying what i want lately and its been working out pretty well...so here it is karen, ive hated you since you first walked into the scranton office and you knew jim wanted me but you kept him for yourself!

Jim: pam relax, dont hurt your leg...just throw the gun out the door and end this

Pam: No! im tired of holding back jim! (cocks the back of the gun and shoot karen in the leg)

Karen: Bitch!

(Suddenly, the door flies open and standing there is Conan O'Brien)

Karen: Oh my god, it's Conan!

Conan: (smiling) Yes, it's me. I'm here to save you.

Pam: (still holding the gun) How did you know we were down here?

Conan: Beardy contacted me to help him get revenge, but I wouldn't hear of it.

Jim: Why would Beardy contact you?

Conan: (dramatic pause) I used to work for Dunder Mifflin Scranton.

(Everyone gasps)

Michael: Hey, do you know Tina Fey?

Conan: (ignoring Michael) Yes, it's true. When I was in college, I worked there as a temp. Then I was sexually harrassed by Ed Truck and I sued the company for millons. I only won 3,000 dollars, but I vowed to spend the rest of my life making other people laugh.

Dwight: Yea, well, we have it covered. Andy took out Devon, Pam shot Karen and--

Conan: My god! Where is Beardy??

(Everyone looks around, but Beardy has vanished)

Dwight: He must have used magic powers or he has an invisibility cloak.

(Everyone looks at Dwight)

Jim: Or he used the side door.

(Jim looks out the side door and sees if the coast is clear)

Jim: It's clear.. I think.

Andy: Dwight and I will go and look, come on Dwight

(Andy screams likea girl)

(suddenly we hear andy and dwight screaming)

Jim: Oh my god what has happened?!

(jim and conan go out, pam limping behind conan)

Pam: oh dear god, it's David Wallace's body!!

Andy: We just found his body

Andy: (talking head) *screams like a girl* wait what am I doing in a talking head when I should be saving Dunder-Mifflin?

Jim: Okay, let's just leave, head back to Scranton, and, figure out what to do next.

They head back into the other room to find that it is empty.

Jim: Where are Michael, Phyllis, Creed, and Angela?

Conan: ...I guess they left...

Dwight: Well, then where are all the bad guys?

Andy: Maybe... they followed Beardy out the side door.

Pam: No, that's impossible. Devon was unconscious. Karen was wounded. And Katy was staring at something shiny!!! They could not have possibly escaped with help.

Roy walks in

Roy: And they didn't. I captured your friends. And I helped my fellow villains escape!!! And now, I'm going to capture you.

Dwight: (Pulls out pepperspray) You, and what army?

Roy: This one!!! (Several dozen Roys enter, looking very mad)

Jim: ...I totally forgot that you could do that...

Andy, Dwight, Pam, and Conan scream like girls as the Roy Clone army charges at them.

(sorry if it's too soon to respond i can't resist)

Andy,Dwight,Pam,Conan, and Jim all run out the side door and see that they are surrounded.

Dwight: EVERYBODY CATCH MY EXTRA PEPPER-SPRAY BOTTLES!!

(everybody catches them as Dwight throws them in the air and begin spraying every Roy in sight)

Pam: This is so much fun!
Andy: I miss this sooo much!!

soon the whole army is down.

(soon they all confront the real Roy)

Jim: Tell us where they are, or we'll ALL spray you.

Roy: NEVER!

Conan,Andy, and Dwight and Pam all spray Roy, they keep spraying him

Roy: OKAY!! Just stop and I'll tell you.

(they stop spraying)

Roy: I but them in the bailer and set it to automatically run in about 30 minitues. You'll get to them in time!

Conan: (sprays Roy) Okay! We can't get back to Scranton in half an hour!

Dwight: Don't just give up! I brought some jetpacks!

Jim: How did you fit those in your pocket?

Dwight: With my superior mind.

Andy: That's just wierd

Dwight: (talking head) Yeah, I built them a couple years ago, but I've been saveing them for a special occasion (flies out of the camera zone)

Okay let's go!

(they all slip on the jetpacks and then fly away)

(Scene cuts to the warehouse)

Devon, Packer, Jan, Hannah, Nash, Tony Gardener, Karen, another Roy Clone, and Katy are standing around the bailer where their hostages are tied to chairs inside it.

Devon: Yes, in only a matter of time, Creed, Michael, Phyllis, and Angela will all be dead... (Insane laughter)

Michael: You know, you have totally gone insane!!!

Gareth: (Lying on the ground exhausted) I'm going to have to agree

Martin Nash: What are you even doing here? You aren't one of our minions!

Gareth: I work here!!!

Hunter: (Runs downstairs) THEY'RE COMING!!! JIM, PAM, ANDY, DWIGHT, AND CONAN O'BRIEN ARE COMING IN ON JETPACK!!!

Devon: (Sighs) Look, I want you all to stay here and guard the hostages to make sure that they die! The rest can run off to wherever they want to go. I'll go back to New York and continue coming up with evil plans!

(Cut to the roof where Beardy is holding a sniper rifle)

Beardy: Prepare to die!!!

Beardy shoots the sniper rifle and hits Jim's jetpack, causing Jim's jetpack to spin out of control until it crashes into a swimming pool

Jim: (weakly) Don't worry... I'm still alive...

Beardy: YES!!! I GOT HALPERT!!! BOO-YAH!!!

Beardy turned around to find Hannah, Karen, Packer, Jan, and Katy crossing their arms and shooting him dirty looks.

Hannah: How dare you take out Jim Halpert?

Jan: You have Twenty-Four hours to find us another hot office worker to torture instead!

Todd Packer: Twenty-Four hours!!! (Everyone looks at him strangely) What? I appreciate hotness, regardless of gender!!!

Conan: (TALKING HEAD) So, I'm surprised that Beardy hasn't gotten you guys to join in his evil plan. He told me that when Ryan was in charge, he cancelled the documentary so you guys have been working for free for about 3 weeks now.

(The camera pans to the left and zooms in on Ryan, who is helping Kelly off with her jet pack. The camera falls to the ground and we see a man approach Ryan and start beating him up. Conan picks up the camera, looks into it, then aims it at the scene)

Dwight: (into camera) Conan? What are you doing? We need your help!

Conan: (from behind the camera) But the camera guys have bailed. Do you really not want this moment to be preserved for the whole world to see?

(Dwight pauses, then sighs)

Dwight: Okay. But no talking heads until this fight is over!!!

Jim: (TALKING HEAD) I know we are in this great battle and a lot of peoples' lives are in jeopardy, but (smiles slyly) I spent the last ten minutes putting jello in Dwight's jetpack instead of fuel.

(Camera zooms in on Dwight, who is trying to take off on his jet pack, but nothing is happening)

Dwight: Dammit Jim! Did you fill this jet pack correctly?

(Meanwhile, back inside the warehouse, Darryl is arguing with Jan, Packer, Karen and the other ex-workers)

Darryl: Listen, none of your are licensed to run the bailer.

Michael: (inside the bailer) But if there was an emergency--

Darryl: Michael, shut up!

Roy Clone: Wait a second, I use to work here. Aren't I qualified to work the bailer?

Darryl: Technically, you never worked here. You are a CLONE of someone who did!

Roy Clone: Hey, you have no proof that I'm a clone!!!

Darryl: It says "Roy Clone" in the script!!!

Roy Clone: HEY!!! There will be no breaking the fourth wall!!!

Darryl: Well... go to hell!!! (leaves)

Gareth: Um... I'm still on the ground!!!

Packer: We don't care!!!

Beardy is still holding the sniper rifle

Suddenly from behind Berdy comes Creed.

Creed: I called the Military and they're on their way.

Creed Kicks beardy in the behind and the sniper rifle falls on the ground. Creed picks it up and threatens to kill anybody who moves.

(Meredith runs forward and throws her arms around Creed)

Meredith: That was so brave! (Kisses him) I want to tell the whole world about us, Creed! We must admit our love.

(Beardy looks grossed out at seeing Meredith kiss Creed)

Creed: Um...yea. I love you very much Marybeth, but, you moved.

(Creed shoots her and she crumples to the ground. Beardy sits up)

Beardy: Come on, Creed. Just give me the sniper back.

Creed: No way buddy. I'm in charge now.

Beardy: I've got some mung beans.

(Creed looks thoughtful, considering the idea)

Beardy: (TALKING HEAD) They are actually regular beans, but I'm hoping Creed is stoned enough not to notice.

(From behind the camera, we hear Conan yell to Creed)

Conan: Hey, Creed. They aren't real mung beans.

Beardy: Hey! You aren't supposed to get involved.

(Creed hits Beardy in the head with the butt of the rifle and grins at the camera. Meanwhile, back in the warehouse the bailer is about the crush Michael, Phyllis, and Angela)

Michael: Ummm... Wait a minute. I just noticed something. Creed got away!!! And you can't kill us but not Creed! After all, Devon wanted him dead. So, you should turn off the bailer and go find him, then you can kill all four of us, together.

Phyllis: Actually, Michael's idea sound surprisingly smart. You should listen to him. This time at least!!!

Karen: Hey, how about we kill the three of you, right now, and go get Creed, Jim, and the others later?

Michael: (Groans)

Hannah: (Turns to Nash) How, on Earth, did Creed get away?

Nash: (shrugs)

Jan: Whatever, it is time for the three of you to die!!!

Michael: Dammit, Jan, I'm your live-in boyfriend!!! Why are you trying to kill me?

Jan: ...um... because... you sneak Birth Control Pills into my food?

Michael: Well, maybe if you didn't keep "forgetting" to take them, I wouldn't have to take such drastic measures.

Tony Gardener: Only a few more seconds and...

Suddenly, Tony falls over dead to reveal that Toby is standing behind him holding a blood soaked Samurai sword.

Karen: Toby? What are you doing here? And where did you get that?

Toby: A few weeks ago, Dwight attacked Andy with pepperspray. So, I was forced to confisgate a suspisciously large amount of weaponary from him.

Jim: (Jumps from behind a stair well and throws a ninja star into Packer's back) And our office was feeling bad about leaving Michael, Jim, and the others to die, so...

Kevin: We decided to borrow Dwight's confisgated weapons, come down here, and save our co-workers!!! (Sneaks behind the bailer and unplugs it, turning off the machine and saving Michael, Angela, and Phyllis)

(The rest off the office suddenly begin to surround the bad guys, each holding a different and deadly weapon!!!)

Karen: Um... we surrender...

(a little while later)

The Police have finally decided to come. They were forced to come down since Dwight was a volunteer sheriff deputy.

Sheriff: So what happened?
Dwight explains
Sheriff: Dwight, I know you're a great guy and I usually believe you no matter how absurd, but this is way too crazy!

Jim: It's true
Pam: Yeah! We're his co-workers so we know how stupid he is but he's telling the truth!
Sherrif: Okay! We'll investigate!

Sherrif: (TALKING HEAD) We're not going to investigate this. Dwight Schrute is always coming to us with complaints. One time he claimed his co-worker had put a bloody glove in his desk and tried to convince him he was a killer. And there was the time he told us that same co-worker had turned into a vampire. We don't take him very seriously. (Looks around) I can't explain all the dead bodies, but I'm sure it's nothing.

(Cut to the corporate lobby. Jim, Pam, Dwight, Angela, Ryan, Kelly, Kevin, Creed, Darryl, Stanley, Phyllis, Toby, Andy, Gareth, Dawn, Tim and Michael are standing in a circle)

Michael: Okay, so with Beardy in jail and David Wallace dead, Dunder Mifflin is in need of a new CEO. I think we should all relocate to New York City. I will take over the company as CEO, Pam can be the receptionist, Jim will be my number 2, Dwight my number 3, and Toby is fired.

Toby: Costa Rica here I come!!

(Toby runs out of the room)

Michael: Ryan, you can take over Meredith's job since she was killed. We will make sure that you share an office with Kelly.

Kelly: Oh goody! I have a big announcement to make everyone. I'm pregnant!!!

(Ryan looks horrified)

(Suddenly Toby walks back in to the room with Craig, the Regional Manager of the Albany Branch from "Valentine's Day")

Toby: Um... bad news, Michael... It turns out that the boardmembers have decided on a new CEO for Dundler-Mifflin... And it's not you...

Craig: And it's me!!! Ha ha!!! In your face!!!

Michael: What? You're even worse then I am? How did you get to be the CEO?!?

Craig: I slept with the entire board of directors!!!

Michael: Most of the board are guys!!!

Craig: What can I say? I really wanted that job!!!

(Cut to Devon's small, dingy New York City apartment)

Devon:(Talking Head) So... everyone went to jail except for Packer and Tony Gardener, who were killed... The only Dundler-Mifflin employees who died were Meredith Palmer, whom nobody cared about being killed, and David Wallace, whose death was utterly meaningless. I guess that the plan failed horribly. But, I don't mind. After all, I wasn't arrested, and due to the police's refusal to investigate, I won't be going to jail anytime soon! And with you camera men still on my side, I'll be able to get my revenge, eventually!!!

Cameraman: Actually, I think that we're just going to go back to Dundler-Mifflin and continue filming. After all, we don't really have anything else to do!!!

Devon: (Groans and then starts to cry) Fine!!! Leave!!! I'll just forget about getting revenge and mope about being fired by Dundler-Mifflin until I die of old age!!! (Crawls onto a couch and sobs uncontrollably until the camera crew leave him alone.)

I think that this might be a good ending. So, I'm going to create "Make your Own Office Episode 4"