Dear Fang

I am sorry to say that I wont remember आप that way. I can't seem to remember आप in a tux. Such a un-Fang like moment. I don't want to remember आप like that. Pretending to be something that your not. I want to remember आप flying, free. I hope आप stay free. And if I remember आप flying I can imagine that आप are flying back to me.

I spent nearly a साल being sensible, doing the right thing. Not for me, But for the flock. Actually that is what I have done my whole life. Put my self behind the flock. Then one दिन I decided that I could give my self this one thing, the thing I wanted most in the world. You. It ended up being the best and the worst thing I ever did.

I chose you.

I got you.

And then…

I लॉस्ट you.

I remember the feeling when I decided to let आप in. I remember the feeling when I realized I loved you. I remember the feeling when I लॉस्ट you… It's indescribable. I remember when I got आप back and then… I लॉस्ट आप again. But I wouldn't take any of it back. Not the pain, the sorrow the दिल wrenching feeling whenever I think about you, the happy times, the laughs and the smiles we have shared. And even if the smiles, the happy times and putting my self first led to all of the pain I wouldn't swap it for the world.

I can understand why आप left. And I know that if it were me then I would have done the same thing. I couldn't stand to be with someone I प्यार knowing that it was putting them in danger. But the thing is that it isn't me, not this time. This times its आप in Danger. And it isn't me who has to make the decision. But it is me who has to live with it. Every day. And I still hope that आप will come back to me, no matter the consequences. Every day.

I was sad after I read your letter. That's an understatement

Then I was angry

God, I am still angry

But I have simmered down, I am still angry but I can see past that. See the reason आप left. I can understand it. Doesn't mean I like it.

I could promise आप that I will be a leader

That I can be Max and a leader

But in the end I know it wouldn't be enough.

Because I प्यार you

I cant help but be focused on आप when were together

And one time I might slip up. Not be the leader I need to be, and I can't face those consequences.

They say that if आप प्यार something, then आप have to let it go and then if it is truly yours it will come back to you. I Swear Fang if in twenty years आप aren't back and cant honestly say that it was all worth it, then erasers and Itex wont be the least of your trouble. Which is why I am going to try my hardest to fix things, to 'save the world'. Because when all of this is over it wont matter that 20 years isn't up, I will be at your doorstep.

But that's the thing. We don't know. आप don't know and I don't know. I don't know whether आप will come back. But I will get आप back. Because I am Maximum Ride and I don't give up a fight. That's what my life is one big fight. I fight for my life and I fight for the ones I love. We all do.

One दिन we can be happy Fang but for now we are fighting for it.

I can't promise आप that we will meet again in 20 years. Because I am fighting for it now and I don't honestly think that I can wait that long. Wait that long to be happy.

I प्यार आप enough to let आप go. And I trust आप enough that आप will come back.

So here's my promise to you. When the world is saved. And it will be, आप leaving has दिया me even और motive to do so. I'll meet आप at the चोटी, शीर्ष of that cliff where we first met the hawks and learned how to fly with them. आप know the one. Once the world is saved. If were Alive. I'll be there waiting for you. आप can bet on it.

We will have fought for our happiness and won.

I don't believe in saying good-bye so…

Until I see आप next.

I प्यार you.

Max