Hello there!
I actually had this chapter almost ready since forever :P but as आप know we have experienced some sort of turbolence in Huliland lately, so I've give some thought before posting this and decide to keep going. But then I talked to a few people, saw @maverick was back too. I talk to her and told her I was glad I wasn't alone in my delusion XD and thought "What the hell!" Dreams are still free right? And Huli is too much of a good one to let it go, so here we go. We are officially back sinning and fooling ourselves our ship isn't dead :P
Hope आप still feel like पढ़ना it.
Enjoy guys!
PS Diclaimer: I know nothing about Hugh&Lisa's lives nor I posses some special, classified info. This is just the product of my very fervid, very wild immagination. But blame them. It's all their fault :P
PPS I'll attach a long fragment, so if you've forgotten me *cries* you'll be able to catch up easily without browsing through my stuff :)
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Previously on December/December:
10 March 2010
She opened the door, smiling widely at the sight him standing with his back at her, still talking to the phone. She hung up, took a step आगे and leaned over on her tiptoes to talk into his ear “I definitely am…” she कहा playfully. She probably had no idea of what she was doing, but she couldn’t help herself. She had just missed him too much these days…
Hugh startled a little but then turning his head he beamed at her in such a engaging way that her face in turn lit up with one of those stunning smiles that dazzled him like nothing in the world.
“Hi…” she whispered again. She was always faster than him in recovering from these moments “So…what kind of take out are आप up for?” she कहा starting to walk towards his bike. He followed smirking: she still had her leather जैकेट over her arm and she was wearing a sleeveless wool grey dress today, with a large black बेल्ट that tightened around her waist, boots and black leggings. She turned, glancing at him smiling over her back as her long, dark, shiny curls tumbled over her shoulders moving gracefully around her as she walked ahead of him.
He smiled crookedly. It was in moment such as these – when she beamed at him like that, with that gleam in her eyes - that he felt like he had nearly won his sun back -although it was still darkened द्वारा some clouds – and like he had almost gotten his breath back…his gleaming breeze that he had been missing so much – although he knew she wasn’t really back…
It almost felt like he had never woken up from that dream of a महीना ago, always wondering whether they were real या just a memory floating hopelessly around his head.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t resist. “Your wish my command…”
She slowed down ever so slightly to wait for him, giving in to that juvenile part of her that was still even too crazy about those chivalrous ways he displayed so often.
“Chinese then?” she asked softening her eyes.
Hugh beamed at her “Chinese is perfect…”
She looked up into his eyes as soon as he caught up with her, but she immediately wondered whether he was conscious of the effect a look like that might have on a woman. On the other hand the real सवाल was why she couldn’t just resist the impulse of staring right into that ocean for once.
He climbed on his bike, offering his hand to her with the very same knowing smirk he had दिया her that night, last time she’d been driving with him to go to the Observatory. The memory made her smile.
“What are आप smiling at?” Hugh asked as she sat behind him and he handed her the helmet. She bit her lower lip “Nothing….I just think I might come to like bikes, after all…” She कहा rubbing her hands over the leather सीट at the sides of her thighs. She was starting to miss too many things lately. Even bikes now.
Hugh started the engine “I told you…they have a compelling charm आप can’t just resist for long…as much as आप try, they’ll win आप irremediably over in the end. And then, you’re बीविच्ड for ever” he कहा as his eyes sparkled at her from the review mirror.
She sighed looking at him and then just leaned over to rest her chin on his back, whispering “Yeah…”
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CHAPTER 16
10 March 2010
They sped down the road and soon Lisa’s house disappeared behind their backs. Hugh’s bike plunged into the darkness of the winding, tree-lined roads of Beverly Hills. The muffled roar of its engine and the rustling sound of the cold wind whipping around them were the only audible sounds under their हेलमेट protections.
The air was getting chillier.
None of them कहा a word for a while, but she was still too inexplicably twitchy to remain alone with her thoughts any longer, so at some point she just bent over, pinching her voice higher over the sound of the wind.
She tried to muster the most conversational tone as possible “Where are we heading to, then?”
Hugh opened his mouth to reply but to his very surprise no sound came out. Lisa’s सवाल echoed in his head.
Where are we heading to?
It was like getting a bucket of cold water right in the face; like a light bulb had suddenly lit up inside his head. His mind raced uncontrollably.
Together? In public? At this घंटा of the evening? What was I thinking is the question!
How could he possibly have been so dumb? And with everything that was going on right now...the fact that he had taken his ring off, Jo...and this...separation-thing. It was even और delicate than usual. He glanced at Lisa from the rear view mirror: what if the news he was planning to get a divorce leaked and she ended up caught in the middle of it? Even if there was nothing between them, what if someone spotted them together his very night and thought about adding two and two? What if she ended up finding out like this?
His mouth felt dry.
He couldn’t think of anything but stalling, buying himself some extra time to work this out and find a way out of it “You have some place in mind?”
He could already see their chances to keep being फ्रेंड्स dangerously dropping down: like ratings sinking ever lower and lower....
His head started spinning.
Lisa shook her head “Nope, not really....” she wasn’t hungry. Not a bit. She didn’t even care where they would go. She just didn’t want to think too much. Keep her mind busy.
He kept his eyes on the road, brainstorming. One of House’s golden rules came to his mind.
Work smart...not hard...smart....There’s some wisdom in these words आप know?
He rolled eyes at himself. Seriously?! Was this the best time for this meta-fictional bullshit?!
“What about the Chang’s China Bistrot?” Lisa suggested.
No that couldn’t do. Too close. This area was obsessed with paparazzi and if he wanted to have a change to preserve the delicate balance still miraculously existing in his life without hurting all the people he knew...
He turned right on Melrose Avenue and suddenly another bulb - a heaven-sent one this time - lit up.There was a place he had become a regular of. If they keep driving down to east and take the Hollywood Freeway then it could take what? Half an घंटा with traffic maybe before the exit to S. Broadway? It was quite out-of-the-way, yeah but....there definitely would be no paparazzi, no show-biz people and no press: no cameras and no lights pointed at them. None would ever notice.
Lisa prompted him “So?”
Every prolonged moment of silence, her mind took advantage to sneak out and start wandering away, obsessing her with stuff she wasn’t ready to deal with. Not tonight. Not yet. She breathed in, filling her lungs with the raw air of the night. That cooled her brain. She really needed to stop psyching herself out every single मिनट of the way and just enjoy.
“Hugh, आप still there?” she asked.
He swallowed hard. Why didn’t this sound right even if it was the only rational thing to do? “There’s a place I know actually…” he started hesitantly Should he really keep this from her? What would her reaction be if he told her? “....it’s a little out-of-the-way to tell आप the truth...” Really? Was he? “...but ehm....it’s a very nice place…” Would she feel offended? Hurt? disappointed? Would she think he wanted to hide her? Did he? He tensed on his seat. “…well, I just think आप would प्यार the kind of courses they have on their menu, that’s all...”
She कहा nothing, but limited herself to nod in agreement which made him feel even worse if that was even possible. That had been even too easy.
He felt dirty.
He lifted his mask up and speed up, desiring to feel the cold air whipping his face. A couple of cross-roads...a few street-lights...one turn to the right and they were right at the core of the pumping दिल of the unfashionable, anonymous LA...
They had met downtown.
Lisa had made very clear she preferred to go out. Get some air, go for a walk. It was a gray दिन of September. A dreary afternoon. He should have recognized the signs: nothing good could come from a दिन like this.
Jo had just left. They had been fighting ‘till the moment she had gotten on the plane.
No.
Not fighting.
That wasn’t quite correct, ‘cause he and Jo...they didn’t fight. They argued. Things never got to a point they just exploded, like it usually happened with normal couples. He wasn’t able to push her to that point and she just had this way of always changing her tack that had always inexplicably worked on him. He didn’t even know why he kept allowing her to do that.
But that was the whole point with him, right? Letting the flow carry him away, without ever taking any real decision. Persevering into the status quo. Just because it was easier this way. या maybe less scary.
Jo had claimed she just wanted to surprise him: go together to the Emmys. But he knew better. After all those months, she just suddenly showed up at such a convenient time, and for what? Going back to their usual facade?
He hadn’t been hearing from Lisa for five days already. He couldn’t have called her. He wouldn’t have known what to tell her anyway: just as his marriage never reached a real breaking point, there was no turning-point behind the corner for the two of them. Things were what they were, या so he felt comfortable believing, as if he couldn’t have a word in it. How convenient...
They had met downtown.
And he had immediately known द्वारा the farfetched, light tone of her voice that it was over.
All the rest about that दिन was just a stir of patchy memories and jumbled sensations.
The noisy bustling around them....
Headlights shining everywhere: restaurants and pubs, theatres and clubs. The hustle and bustle of real life. People having dinner, drinking, hanging out in groups या pairs; walking....kissing.
Life passing them द्वारा and the oppressive feeling he wasn’t being ब्रेव enough be part of it....
The stifled sound of Lisa’s words echoing in his ears. She was sorry. It was better like this. He had a family. They were co-workers....friends. They had just been naive and reckless. She would keep loving him...
The feeling of a hollow aching pang in his chest on his way home, as he kept telling himself that she was really better off without him and his crazy, messy life he couldn’t get himself out of...
The feeling he didn’t deserve her....
The feeling he had never let her down so much even if she hadn’t कहा a word about it...
The feeling someone had just used a very thin, sharp चाकू to dig a huge hole thorough him...
Hot water running down his body as he tried to convince himself that this was for the best. She really was better off out there, in the real world, where everything was just normal, average and uncomplicated. Where she would walk in the middle of the day, with whoever she wanted without feeling watched, chased or...
The feeling she would never know how much he had truly loved her...
Suddenly the echo of thunder boomed in the sky overhead.
Hugh gazed up, getting back to his senses: dark clouds hung menacingly against a angry, starless sky. He made a face, glancing back at Lisa. He wondered whether that had been enough to startle her and make her change her mind altogether over this little bike-trip down to the restaurant. To his surprise, though, he noticed she looked rather pensive. या maybe she was already scared to death? How long had he been driving? He hadn’t even been paying attention to the route. Were they still going in the right direction? It looked like it...
He carefully began to slow down “I’m sorry Liz, I got distracted a bit. I’ll try to make it fast…”
It was like someone had just abruptly woken her up from a mild state of trance. As much as she had struggled to lock them out, in fact, the moment Hugh had sped up millions of different thoughts had begun to overlap inside her head: John, their summer, London, Hugh, her trip to Madrid, the shooting, Hugh, his movie.
“The sky...” he explained to her, motioning up. She looked distracted. He wondered whether she could be figuring out why they were coming such a long way just to get some Chinese.
Lisa glanced up at the sky, blinking. How come she hadn’t even noticed that the sky had begun to rumble? She started hesitantly ”Well, maybe it won’t …” a glaring flash विभाजित करें, विभक्त करें the sky in half breaking her off. An even louder thunder boomed in the distance. She clenched her teeth “…get so bad…”
The first drops began to tap on their helmets.
“Yeah...maybe it won’t...” he कहा sarcastically.
She peered at his face and began stifling laughs: all she could see were his eyes, but from the twitches at their corners she could tell his jaw was hanging slightly open in mild astonishment. He always did that when something caught him off guard. Funny how आप really couldn’t simply stop knowing stuff about a person you’ve open up with just because आप were not...involved anymore. Slowly, her smile started to fade and she felt a thin layer of sadness falling upon her.
He brought them quickly out of the rain, steering the bike onto the shoulder of road. They sheltered under one of trees sticking out on the road-side. It had some thick foliage. He put one of his feet down on the ground to steady the bike and took his हेलमेट off with both hands. He had a deep scowl on his face, an expression of pure exasperation as if he was about lose it. And that made her laugh again, lifting her mood up at once. There was just something in the way he reacted to stuff like this – maybe overreacted would have been और accurate to be honest – that like the touch of a magic wand had the power to make her forget all about whatever was bugging her at the moment. The way he was just made her get the giggles.
She pulled off her हेलमेट and ran a hand through her hair to fix it, still smiling to herself.
The rain thickened a little.
He peered at the sky. Perhaps this was like one of those signs he hadn’t been able to read that day. They कहा every बादल had a silver lining.
He pondered for another विभाजित करें, विभक्त करें second, before finally turning, even if still reluctantly.
“You know what? I’ll just drop आप off somewhere, and you’ll be snug as a bug in a rug...” she smiled wide, choking laughs at his phrasing.
He scratched his jaw “no seriously...you just wait there, in some fancy, comfortable warm place...” he paused, catching a glimpse of a glower between her eyes. Putting things like this, without even asking didn’t sound like him. Not a bit. Of course he didn’t want to leave her somewhere, let alone go on his own but, this was really the easier way. And he knew how she felt about rain so...
He averted his gaze “...I’ll do in a minute...I can go on my own, seriously...”
She gestured a firm no with her head “No way...”
“Lisa...”
“Don’t Lisa me Hugh and don’t be silly...it’s just a few drops...” she outstretched one hand with the palm turned upwards and pulled it back waving it before his eyes “See? Almost dry...I can handle it...” What she CAN’T handle instead was being on her own somewhere waiting once again. या else she would lose it tonight.
He sighed “Lisa I really...”
“You really think I...” but she was abruptly cut off द्वारा another deafening rumble echoing in the air. Just this time, in addition, a pouring noise of driving rain followed startling her to the point of making her jump on her seat. Luckily, the foliage was thick enough to shelter them for real, letting just a few drops filter through the leaves.
Slowly, Hugh put the kickstand down, stretched आगे to hang the हेलमेट on the handlebar, licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, bending backwards against her body. Sniggering already, he pursed his lips seeing hers were slightly parted in a memorable expression of pure shock. “You sure? Is that really your final answer?” he asked, overstressing the “really” with knowing sarcasm.
“Well...ok, ehm...perhaps we’d better wait under here for a little while...just…a little longer...” she said, patting weakly and rather unconvincingly on his back.
He smirked.
“Yeah...that was what I was thinking...my little chicken dressed up as a lion...you never change, huh?” he mocked, suffocating a quiet laugh.
Lisa smacked her fist against him “Stop it Hugh!!”
But neither of them were fooling themselves here: she knew that regardless the rain the only reason she was staying was that there was a part of her - growing stronger दिन द्वारा दिन - who didn’t want to hear about leaving him. And he knew that as much as it would have been better and wiser for him to go on his own, he didn’t really want that to happen.
He pressed on amused “I must admit I’m rather impressed you’ve not dismounted yet....”
She thrust her hands deep into the small pockets of her जैकेट and narrowed her eyes challenging him “Ahah, very funny...watch your back Mr. ‘cause I’ll take my revenge sooner या later...no doubt about it...”
He nodded vigorously “Mmm, absolutely....but I’m pretty sure I’ve already heard आप saying that, haven’t I?”
“Yeah, yeah...he who laughs last laughs longest...”
He chuckled again “Yeah..yeah...and best served cold, right? Still waiting here chicken...” he mocked.
“You know I...” and then it struck her. The phrasing he had used. His little chicken dressed up as a lion. He always used to call her like that. Something like a life-time ago. It was like one of their private jokes, having something to do with one of the interviews he had done about that lap-dance sequence, years ago. The hint of a smile started to work all its way up to her eyes. She wondered whether he had even realized having called her that.
Hugh prompted her “You what?”
She got closer almost whispering in his ear “Chicken my ass...I told you, just watch your back...”
Hugh dropped his head down, bursting out laughing and Lisa followed “Ok, ok I will...”
After they stopped laughing, they kept quiet for quite some time then, just listening to the sound of the rain tapping incessantly on the pavements and the roads and teeming above their heads. It was getting hard to see something even just a few meters ahead of them. The lights of an approaching car pierced through the pelting rain, blinding him for moment, then it passed them, lighting up a सड़क, स्ट्रीट sign that gave directions to the Beverly Hills Luxury Hotel...
It was July.
Lisa was standing अगला to the window. She had pulled the curtain open to peek at the sky through the shutters “Well...it’s not exactly the Santa Monica Luxury Hotel but...I guess it can do for one night....”.
It was dark outside. आप couldn’t see anything out of the window and the only audible sound was hear the teeming noise of the rain patting endlessly on the windowsill.
He had suddenly let go of their luggage dropping it on the floor and she had turned instantly, goggling at him “What?”
He had sighed heavily, moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue “You serious? This can do?!” He was working on his tone, trying to look and sound slightly mad at her but he was perfectly aware he wouldn’t be able to fool her. He wasn’t mad of course. Maybe a little sorry they hadn’t made it and this was the best he could do when they had managed to run out of town together.
It had been a long week. Crazy schedule. They hadn’t seen each other very much after work and he had been missing her terribly. He had missed spending time with her.
But she knew all of this already. She knew he wasn’t really mad. In fact, she hadn’t even bothered replying to him. She had turned to him instead, with a faint, mischievous smile curling up her lips. A familiar light in her eyes. She had crossed her arms behind her back, slowing leaned backwards against the दीवार and had sinuously arched her belly slightly आगे – unnoticeably maybe - but enough for him to feel a sudden rush of heat flushing through his veins and blood rushing to his head.
She always did that to him, ‘cause she knew he just couldn’t resist this stuff for long. He usually tried to not give in too soon, though, ‘cause truth was he had tremendous fun with her. All of this foreplay-stuff, this waiting-game, the heat rising up between them made him truly savour the moment even more. He had never played so much before in his life. And he had discovered he loved it. He loved it with HER.
But God she always made him lose his head before....
Just like that time, when she was staring at him with those dazzling, glowing grey eyes of hers making him feel almost spellbound. She was no pushover for sure: she liked to be the one who called the shots and he had no problem in giving her a clear run. Just that time he knew that, if he really wanted to make a fair point, he did need to keep his eyes off her, avoiding that engaging, fake innocent look she was giving him right now. She ought to be reasonable for once, at least admit she wasn’t being so.
“DON'T...give me that stare” he had कहा firmly pointing one of his fingers at her “That’s the most overrated cheap-shot आप can come up with, आप know that...”
He had stepped into the bathroom, knowing he needed to get away from that stare and had started bustling with the water knobs to distract himself from the thought of her. They didn’t work properly: hot water came out from the cold one and vice versa.
“Come on Hugh...” her tone was caressing “We couldn’t see anything within a few meters...wouldn’t have made any sense reaching Santa Monica all soaked to the bones....” he could hear her steps approaching “...what difference does it make anyway?” she had stopped द्वारा the door. He could sense her standing behind him, waiting for him to stop playing and give her his total attention.
But she was willing to play along and have some और fun too. He could tell from something in her voice and even in her walk. And this was one of things he mostly loved about her. She wasn’t just his lover. She was his friend. His playmate. A real companion और than he had never been able to tell her.
He had pretended to be still mildly vexed at her then, keeping his eyes stubbornly fixed down on the water pipes, following them to the wall, passing his hands over them, checking the connections. He had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t know a thing about this stuff.
“Oh yeah absolutely...sure...” he had argued “...’cause we happen to be staying at the poorest version of Chateau Marmont ‘cause we didn’t want to soak ourselves...right...this little arrangement doesn’t have anything to do with the fact you’re a hopeless, little, stubborn chicken... “ he had heard her scoffing and turning away. Maybe his tone had come out a little too harsh “...perhaps a lovely, gorgeous, irresistible little chicken, but still...a chicken dressed up as a lion...”
Beat. She had chocked a giggle “Ok, fine...it’s all my fault...but seriously Hugh...” he had heard her unzipping her case “...it’s not like we could have checked in and have a swim in the pool या enjoy a candlelit रात का खाना in some fancy restaurant...” he had lifted his head up at that point and rested his weight over his forearms, looking at his face in the mirror “...we would have had to lock ourselves up in a room anyway....”
Her tone was conversational, but he remembered feeling a little pang in his chest, which at the time he had conveniently decided to ignore, pressing on teasingly instead and brushing off that uneasy feeling of guilt.
If he had any expertise at all, that was in the area of guilt and self-denial.
He had started washing his hands “Sure, sure...I mean what could have possibly be different? Five stars room service? Soft, perfumed towelling bathrobes? Maybe pure silk sheets?!” he had heard her amused thrilling laugh from the other room and that had kept him going.
“We could have been there in one घंटा या two at the utmost, if आप had just trusted my guide...but no....it’s fine, everything turned out just perfect” he कहा emphasizing his English pronunciation over the last words
“Are आप done?” she had asked faking annoyance.
He had ignored her repeating himself “perfect...just perfect...after all, we have just ended up booking a room twice the size of my house closet!!” he had heard her snorting amused “...to be generous“ he had muttered louder enough for her to hear it. Another chuckle.
She had always had a thing for when he played the part of snobbish, overpaid, spoiled TV-star. She always used to tell him - in a perfect, outstanding imitation of his English accent - that “such a celebrity-complex on him sounded absolutely preposterous”, which was in fact the very reason she claimed he sounded so adorable when he joked like this. He had never quite understood that, but well and good, right? He could still hear her voice in his ears, telling him stuff like: “such a preposterousness is one of the most far-fetched thing one could conceive about you, Hugh”. That was one of her favourite tongue-twisters. But seriously, the way she could get her tongue around words such as preposterous and far-fetched with such a neat English pronunciation was incredible. She could have been a left-handed player just like he was: faking accents. And that just proved how good she was - just as much as him - although no one praised her enough. Not even he had, maybe...
“And so here we are...” he had kept on “...in one of cheapest two stars hotels in the country, buried in the middle of nowhere with no और than a double बिस्तर at our disposal and a bathroom...” he added, giving a quick look at the size of it, as he dried his hands and sighing turned to the door “...a bathroom which is maybe the very size of one the wonderful double, hydro-massage ba...” and then he had had to remind his lungs how to keep pumping properly again “...bath-tub...sss” he had slurred “ they have...have...have in their rooms...” he had stammered.
He had found Lisa gracefully wiggling her hips from one side to another – as if she was checking herself up and down - and pressing closer against her body a very scanty, very see-through....very heart-stopping, bordeaux baby-doll. She was also wearing some deliriously sexy फीता लेडीज़ इनवेअर that - he was sure - must had been banned as illegal in England since क्वीन Victoria’s times.
Finally she had lifted up her eyes up and bit her bottom lips hinting at a flirtatious, challenging smile.“What about this cheap-shop?” she had asked starting to pace towards him.
God that thing..the way it went around her body...the entire corpus of an English thesaurus wouldn’t have been able to depict it properly. The way her silky, white-milk complexion shined against that colour.
“Still overrated?” she had teased, silently seizing both his hands to guide him to the bed. She had started walking backwards, never keeping her tempting, smiling eyes off him.
He was ravished and in truth He couldn’t take his eyes off her, but somehow he had managed to break the spell and smirked self-confidently as if he was still perfectly in control.
“You know, I’m pretty sure I had a कल्पना once that started just like this...”
She had stopped then and a radiant smile had erupted on her face.
“A fantasy? About me?” There was a hint of surprising flattery in her voice.
He had inched forward. One of his hands had easily sneaked around her small waist, tugging her closer; the other had gently brushed off one of the curly wisps falling over the side of her neck, slowly enough to make it look an absentminded gesture. Like he was still taking his time and not dying for what came next...
He had kissed the hollow at the base of her throat and started tracing his way up to her neck. She smelled like honeysuckle and lily. And tasted like an intoxicating blend of one thousands different flavours.
“How come आप never told me?” she had asked giggling, shivering lightly under the warm, tickling touch of his breath delicately brushing her skin. He liked having that effect on her. She called the shots but then - when the moment came - she played into his hands and द्वारा his rules.
And that simply fired him.
He had sensed her catch her breath as soon as his hands had began to run up along her hips, as if he wanted to slide the baby-doll over her head already. But he was still playing. He didn’t want to do that yet.
Instead, he had bent over whispering his final answer in her ear “I just didn’t want to spoil you”
Lisa had laughed, puzzled “Spoil me?”
He had brushed his lips on her temple, smelling her hair “Yep...since I was planning on putting them, one द्वारा one, into practice”
And then he had just suddenly scooped her, crashing them playfully onto the बिस्तर while she laughed delighted.
And he couldn’t remember stopping making प्यार to her that weekend...
“What’s on your mind?”
Lisa’s voice reached his ears like a cold shower. She bent over, casually resting her chin on his shoulder. He instinctively turned, seeing her lips slightly parted in a little, curious pout. He realized he was still licking his own, as if there was some flavour to catch and retain.
No और than a few मिनटों had passed really, but Hugh’s silence was killing her already.
He started brainstorming “Ehm...I...”
She turned her head again, resting her cheek on his jacket, waiting patiently for him to answer. She didn’t want to sound pushy, but she needed him to talk to her, keep her mind busy. There were too many thoughts bouncing around in her head.
Hugh was almost having a cold sweat. The feeling of her leaning so nonchalantly and comfortably against him had something amazing in it, but it wasn’t certainly having any convenient, relaxing effect on him at the moment.
He had to come up with something.
Now.
“Hugh?” She would go nuts if he kept being so mysterious.
Ok. Half-truth
“I was thinking....I was thinking about one of the last times we got caught under a rain like this...like...”
Like?!
His brain gave a flat-line long beep.
Note so self: read a How-To to increase आप brain’s performance under pressure अगला time...
Lisa’ lips curled up into a rather nostalgic smile thinking she knew the one he had in mind.
“You mean like that time of three years ago, when आप first brought me out for a ride to दिखाना me your brand new Bonneville?”
Thank God
He gestured a wide yes with his head, motioning to her as if she had just read his mind, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Precisely...like that one....”
Her chin plunged a little deeper into his जैकेट “We also got a flat tire that time and went back to the studios looking like two kids who had just finished wallowing in the mud...”
“Really? I’ve completely forgotten it”
Lisa saw her frowning, slightly puzzled and scratched the side of his temple with one finger “I meant...the part about the mud-rolling...”
“Oh....yeah...”
Too bad. That was one of her top-ten bonding moments with him. One of the times she had started feeling their connection the most.
He half-turned a little more, spotting a faint shadow of sorrow in her eyes and something inside him flicked, triggering the impulse to make her smile again. He sat sideways on the saddle, so he could see her face better. She moved her chin away and pulled up, feeling suddenly a little agitated.
He opened his eyes wide, making a funny face “I guess, some part of me must have found it pretty traumatic on my bike’s behalf...” he said, caressing it lovingly.
False alarm.
She threw her head backwards, tucking the lower lip in her mouth, nodding slowly “Yeah, pooooor bike...” she टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे sarcastically “...but what about my heels? Shall we talk about that? That was pretty traumatic over my brand new Marc Jacobs high-heels too, आप know...”
“Yeah...right. Sorry for that” He laughed quietly remembering how much they had laughed after that. How come he had forgotten? He knew a couple of women who would have chopped his head off for far less than a pair of heels द्वारा the way.
The downpour grew suddenly louder and turned into a hammering sound, making them both turn their head simultaneously.
Eyes staring into the space, captivated द्वारा the sight of the rain drops falling relentlessly on ground, he started wondering whether there had never been a time he had goodluck with this woman.
And then a gust of wind brought a lily fragrance to his nostrils. या so he thought.
“What are आप smiling at now?”
His mouth hung open for a moment, before he cleared his head again wondering where all this Memory Lane stuff was coming from tonight.
He gave a little cough “Nothing, nothing. I was just...just thinking...I have really been challenging your patience with this bike-thing along the years, haven’t I?”
Among the other things to be honest...
Lisa searched his gaze, bending down her head a little “My patience?”
He met her eyes. There was such a pure light in them. Such a candour. He felt dirty again. He was consciously fooling those eyes into following him half-way through the city, just because of his press paranoia. And he was lying to her about it. Ok, omitting, but still...
He had to tell her. At least half of it.
He turned again, straddling and resting on the handlebars, thinking about all the times she had told him she understood, but how fair was it to keep on asking her to do so?
Lisa pushed him teasingly “You planning on elaborating your thoughts for me?”
He sighed. He just didn’t have the courage.
“Well...come on Liz...just...just name one time in which things didn’t went amiss...” he कहा motioning eloquently to the road “LAST TIME, I scared आप to death with hairpin turns and roadside cliffs. NOW, I’m dragging आप down slippery roads under a terrifying, pelting rain just to get some Chinese” he paused staring down at the asphalt and shaking his head “You must admit it: 2010 hadn’t even started yet and I’ve already put on an interesting collection...”
Just great. Self-pity dressed up as the cheapest humour...
Could he fall lower with himself?
Lisa laughed good-humorously, lifting her hair up into a bun “Come on...you couldn’t know...”
“Oh yeah, sure...I’m not saying it’s my fault of course...”
He had to muster the courage to tell her. He half-turned again, glancing at her. She was keeping her hair softly up with both hands, revealing her bare neck. And she was smiling at him so like that time back in July that...
He didn’t want to ruin this evening. That was all. He just couldn’t let her down so much. Not again.
He glanced up at the sky, nodding “You know what? Must be my bad star...” he heard her laughing already and somehow that boasted him, bringing one hand to his chest “...not that I would NEVER let go of my misfortunate roots – that goes without saying - आप know how diehard-ish conservative I am with this sort of stuff...”
Lisa laughed again and he fought back a delighted smirk “BUT, anyway...my point being...it always happen like that आप see, just like that time आप mentioned...”
Her memory jogged.
“...or the one when we were driving to Santa Monica....”
Hugh rubbed one hand through his hair, ruffling them “Yeah...right...another one...see? So I suppose...you see...” He was losing the thread. The beaming image of Lisa lying on him and playfully brushing her lips against his had suddenly popped out in his mind and was now getting और and और vivid. He pushed it back, desperately trying to bar it in one of the corners of his mind.
Lisa watched him with questioning eyes. She didn’t know what was wrong with him, but she had a feeling he wasn’t telling her the whole truth about what was bugging him tonight. This wasn’t like him.
“You sure you’re ok?” she asked, squeezing her eyes suspiciously at him.
He cleared his throat “Ehm sure...I...I just suddenly remembered I had to do something, never mind. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Anyway...”
He crossed his arms over his chest, getting defensive - she knew him well enough recognize the signs - but decided to let it go; whatever was buzzing around in his head he wasn’t willing to share for now
“...so I was saying...we agree neither of these techniques I have so cleverly displayed count exactly as golden-rules a manual would recommend to renew old bonds, do we?
She rubbed her lips moistening them “Mmm....”
“Great!Which in turn...” he कहा gesturing with one hand as if he was trying to help her follow his logic “....brings us back to my original statement...”
Lisa swung her had, making a tentative gesture of assent, as if she was still trying to see his point “...which was that you’ve being challenging my patience?”
“Yep...”
“I see...”
She pushed her hands deeper into her pockets and turned her head on one side, keeping quiet and going back to rest her face against him then. She stared into the rain that kept teeming endlessly while a life-time of patchy memories started to stream through her mind, like a sequence of fading frames thronging confusedly. Her fingers were freezing, but her face felt burning hot against the cold leather texture of Hugh’s jacket. It was a refreshing feeling.
He didn’t miss her odd silence. Now what had he said? He tried with a tongue-in-cheek टिप्पणी दे “Maybe I should buy a car, आप know. One of those inconspicuous Ford Galaxies...so you’d feel better whenever I take आप somewhere....” He clenched his teeth. That hadn’t come out quite right since he wasn’t really supposed to take her anywhere.
She gave a little sigh, wondering how come he could seriously believe she cared about whatever mishap had happened along the way. She had wonderful memories of each one of those times they had just recalled, regardless whatever minor bump in the road they might have had.
Hugh was getting slightly worried he might had crossed an invisible line of some sort. But when? Saying what? He pressed on, keeping it conversational “ ...think about it...even if it turns out being the worst time of your life, आप can always at least say आप enjoyed the ride...”
No reaction so far, rather lack thereof.
Lisa closed her eyes. He didn’t get it: even if none of those times had turned out to be their perfect moment, she didn’t care. Perfection was just...unreal. And then, that night at the Observatory...maybe he hadn’t thoroughly realized it, but that had just been perfect. Regardless the tension; regardless the bike; regardless how she had felt once alone in the quietness of her house listening to John’s voice coming from the answering-machine. Just perfect, ‘cause that was just like them: a bittersweet blend of memories she would never be able to reject not even in a life-time.
He really couldn’t take it anymore “Ehm...Liz, आप still here?”
She slowly lifted her head up then, going back to rest her chin onto his back “I was actually thinking....you know, it’s just...” she hesitated trying to find a way to put this into words “...it’s pretty funny how eventually memories settle down differently...I mean from one person to another. It changes maybe...”
She realized he wasn’t quite seeing what she was getting at so she frowned lightly, in mild embarrassment, glancing up at the sky to avoid his stare. “I mean…take that time at the Griffith’s, I didn’t even remember the road until आप mentioned it, seriously…and I...I have never really thanked आप for that..” her दिल started to pound a little harder and Hugh’s skipped a beat as he began to listen very intently “...that night, the one आप brought me up there….what आप did was...I mean...for the sake of renewing old bonds - as आप like to call it –That was....you had a very, very sweet idea”
The और she talked, the और she realized she didn’t even know why she was doing this. It was like, rather than just a few days, weeks had passed since she last had spent some time with him. She didn’t even know why या how…but something within this lapse of time had changed inside her. One और time. And now she just felt like she had something tightly entangled at the pit of her stomach and she didn’t know how to feel better. Get that out of her system. So maybe if she allowed herself to be somehow honest - just for once - possibly she would feel relieved.
Hugh breathed in deeply. He was working very, VERY hard to not attach to her words whatever kind of extra, delusional meaning his mind was already conceiving “Well I...”
But the tougher part was still to come. She cut him off, smiling shyly but never taking her eyes off the dark sky “YOU were...very sweet and I really, really had a wonderful time Hugh. I’m serious. It was truly wonderful and it was very thoughtful of you”
But now she had to stop. Before it became too much even for her to भालू it. Honest yeah, but just up to some extent.
A half-truth.
She shrugged “I guess...I just wanted to say...thank you, for everything...” and then she just nodded shortly, ignoring the wild rate of her दिल pounding like crazy against her chest, waiting for him to say something.
But he didn’t know what to say. He only wished he could have acted on his true feelings for once and sent everything to hell. Just one और time.
Silence grew deeper, just broken off द्वारा the sound of a faintly, misty rain. It looked like it was about to stop. How could he tell her now? After...this. What kind of a man would he be?
In a barely audible whisper he couldn’t find anything else to say “I guess...you’re welcome Liz….”
This time she was quicker than him and got back to her senses before her own feelings overwhelmed her. She outstretched her palm up right again: it came back dry.
“We’d better take advantage and keep going....”
He made a final attempt to make things right, so to speak. He didn’t know how much he craved success, though, and he was truly starting to feel quite selfish in all this matter tonight.
“Final call” his voice came out shattered to him “...you sure आप want to come and run the risk to get caught in the middle of my bad-star crossing our path?”
He wasn't even sure where he was standing anymore, really. It was an exhausting battle between what HE wanted and what he KNEW she deserved. And he didn’t know which side was winning over the other at the moment.
Lisa put her हेलमेट on, stubbornly decided to overcome and silence whatever was screaming inside her “Positive”
It shouldn’t have been so hard, should it?
I actually had this chapter almost ready since forever :P but as आप know we have experienced some sort of turbolence in Huliland lately, so I've give some thought before posting this and decide to keep going. But then I talked to a few people, saw @maverick was back too. I talk to her and told her I was glad I wasn't alone in my delusion XD and thought "What the hell!" Dreams are still free right? And Huli is too much of a good one to let it go, so here we go. We are officially back sinning and fooling ourselves our ship isn't dead :P
Hope आप still feel like पढ़ना it.
Enjoy guys!
PS Diclaimer: I know nothing about Hugh&Lisa's lives nor I posses some special, classified info. This is just the product of my very fervid, very wild immagination. But blame them. It's all their fault :P
PPS I'll attach a long fragment, so if you've forgotten me *cries* you'll be able to catch up easily without browsing through my stuff :)
................................................
Previously on December/December:
10 March 2010
She opened the door, smiling widely at the sight him standing with his back at her, still talking to the phone. She hung up, took a step आगे and leaned over on her tiptoes to talk into his ear “I definitely am…” she कहा playfully. She probably had no idea of what she was doing, but she couldn’t help herself. She had just missed him too much these days…
Hugh startled a little but then turning his head he beamed at her in such a engaging way that her face in turn lit up with one of those stunning smiles that dazzled him like nothing in the world.
“Hi…” she whispered again. She was always faster than him in recovering from these moments “So…what kind of take out are आप up for?” she कहा starting to walk towards his bike. He followed smirking: she still had her leather जैकेट over her arm and she was wearing a sleeveless wool grey dress today, with a large black बेल्ट that tightened around her waist, boots and black leggings. She turned, glancing at him smiling over her back as her long, dark, shiny curls tumbled over her shoulders moving gracefully around her as she walked ahead of him.
He smiled crookedly. It was in moment such as these – when she beamed at him like that, with that gleam in her eyes - that he felt like he had nearly won his sun back -although it was still darkened द्वारा some clouds – and like he had almost gotten his breath back…his gleaming breeze that he had been missing so much – although he knew she wasn’t really back…
It almost felt like he had never woken up from that dream of a महीना ago, always wondering whether they were real या just a memory floating hopelessly around his head.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t resist. “Your wish my command…”
She slowed down ever so slightly to wait for him, giving in to that juvenile part of her that was still even too crazy about those chivalrous ways he displayed so often.
“Chinese then?” she asked softening her eyes.
Hugh beamed at her “Chinese is perfect…”
She looked up into his eyes as soon as he caught up with her, but she immediately wondered whether he was conscious of the effect a look like that might have on a woman. On the other hand the real सवाल was why she couldn’t just resist the impulse of staring right into that ocean for once.
He climbed on his bike, offering his hand to her with the very same knowing smirk he had दिया her that night, last time she’d been driving with him to go to the Observatory. The memory made her smile.
“What are आप smiling at?” Hugh asked as she sat behind him and he handed her the helmet. She bit her lower lip “Nothing….I just think I might come to like bikes, after all…” She कहा rubbing her hands over the leather सीट at the sides of her thighs. She was starting to miss too many things lately. Even bikes now.
Hugh started the engine “I told you…they have a compelling charm आप can’t just resist for long…as much as आप try, they’ll win आप irremediably over in the end. And then, you’re बीविच्ड for ever” he कहा as his eyes sparkled at her from the review mirror.
She sighed looking at him and then just leaned over to rest her chin on his back, whispering “Yeah…”
..................................................
CHAPTER 16
10 March 2010
They sped down the road and soon Lisa’s house disappeared behind their backs. Hugh’s bike plunged into the darkness of the winding, tree-lined roads of Beverly Hills. The muffled roar of its engine and the rustling sound of the cold wind whipping around them were the only audible sounds under their हेलमेट protections.
The air was getting chillier.
None of them कहा a word for a while, but she was still too inexplicably twitchy to remain alone with her thoughts any longer, so at some point she just bent over, pinching her voice higher over the sound of the wind.
She tried to muster the most conversational tone as possible “Where are we heading to, then?”
Hugh opened his mouth to reply but to his very surprise no sound came out. Lisa’s सवाल echoed in his head.
Where are we heading to?
It was like getting a bucket of cold water right in the face; like a light bulb had suddenly lit up inside his head. His mind raced uncontrollably.
Together? In public? At this घंटा of the evening? What was I thinking is the question!
How could he possibly have been so dumb? And with everything that was going on right now...the fact that he had taken his ring off, Jo...and this...separation-thing. It was even और delicate than usual. He glanced at Lisa from the rear view mirror: what if the news he was planning to get a divorce leaked and she ended up caught in the middle of it? Even if there was nothing between them, what if someone spotted them together his very night and thought about adding two and two? What if she ended up finding out like this?
His mouth felt dry.
He couldn’t think of anything but stalling, buying himself some extra time to work this out and find a way out of it “You have some place in mind?”
He could already see their chances to keep being फ्रेंड्स dangerously dropping down: like ratings sinking ever lower and lower....
His head started spinning.
Lisa shook her head “Nope, not really....” she wasn’t hungry. Not a bit. She didn’t even care where they would go. She just didn’t want to think too much. Keep her mind busy.
He kept his eyes on the road, brainstorming. One of House’s golden rules came to his mind.
Work smart...not hard...smart....There’s some wisdom in these words आप know?
He rolled eyes at himself. Seriously?! Was this the best time for this meta-fictional bullshit?!
“What about the Chang’s China Bistrot?” Lisa suggested.
No that couldn’t do. Too close. This area was obsessed with paparazzi and if he wanted to have a change to preserve the delicate balance still miraculously existing in his life without hurting all the people he knew...
He turned right on Melrose Avenue and suddenly another bulb - a heaven-sent one this time - lit up.There was a place he had become a regular of. If they keep driving down to east and take the Hollywood Freeway then it could take what? Half an घंटा with traffic maybe before the exit to S. Broadway? It was quite out-of-the-way, yeah but....there definitely would be no paparazzi, no show-biz people and no press: no cameras and no lights pointed at them. None would ever notice.
Lisa prompted him “So?”
Every prolonged moment of silence, her mind took advantage to sneak out and start wandering away, obsessing her with stuff she wasn’t ready to deal with. Not tonight. Not yet. She breathed in, filling her lungs with the raw air of the night. That cooled her brain. She really needed to stop psyching herself out every single मिनट of the way and just enjoy.
“Hugh, आप still there?” she asked.
He swallowed hard. Why didn’t this sound right even if it was the only rational thing to do? “There’s a place I know actually…” he started hesitantly Should he really keep this from her? What would her reaction be if he told her? “....it’s a little out-of-the-way to tell आप the truth...” Really? Was he? “...but ehm....it’s a very nice place…” Would she feel offended? Hurt? disappointed? Would she think he wanted to hide her? Did he? He tensed on his seat. “…well, I just think आप would प्यार the kind of courses they have on their menu, that’s all...”
She कहा nothing, but limited herself to nod in agreement which made him feel even worse if that was even possible. That had been even too easy.
He felt dirty.
He lifted his mask up and speed up, desiring to feel the cold air whipping his face. A couple of cross-roads...a few street-lights...one turn to the right and they were right at the core of the pumping दिल of the unfashionable, anonymous LA...
They had met downtown.
Lisa had made very clear she preferred to go out. Get some air, go for a walk. It was a gray दिन of September. A dreary afternoon. He should have recognized the signs: nothing good could come from a दिन like this.
Jo had just left. They had been fighting ‘till the moment she had gotten on the plane.
No.
Not fighting.
That wasn’t quite correct, ‘cause he and Jo...they didn’t fight. They argued. Things never got to a point they just exploded, like it usually happened with normal couples. He wasn’t able to push her to that point and she just had this way of always changing her tack that had always inexplicably worked on him. He didn’t even know why he kept allowing her to do that.
But that was the whole point with him, right? Letting the flow carry him away, without ever taking any real decision. Persevering into the status quo. Just because it was easier this way. या maybe less scary.
Jo had claimed she just wanted to surprise him: go together to the Emmys. But he knew better. After all those months, she just suddenly showed up at such a convenient time, and for what? Going back to their usual facade?
He hadn’t been hearing from Lisa for five days already. He couldn’t have called her. He wouldn’t have known what to tell her anyway: just as his marriage never reached a real breaking point, there was no turning-point behind the corner for the two of them. Things were what they were, या so he felt comfortable believing, as if he couldn’t have a word in it. How convenient...
They had met downtown.
And he had immediately known द्वारा the farfetched, light tone of her voice that it was over.
All the rest about that दिन was just a stir of patchy memories and jumbled sensations.
The noisy bustling around them....
Headlights shining everywhere: restaurants and pubs, theatres and clubs. The hustle and bustle of real life. People having dinner, drinking, hanging out in groups या pairs; walking....kissing.
Life passing them द्वारा and the oppressive feeling he wasn’t being ब्रेव enough be part of it....
The stifled sound of Lisa’s words echoing in his ears. She was sorry. It was better like this. He had a family. They were co-workers....friends. They had just been naive and reckless. She would keep loving him...
The feeling of a hollow aching pang in his chest on his way home, as he kept telling himself that she was really better off without him and his crazy, messy life he couldn’t get himself out of...
The feeling he didn’t deserve her....
The feeling he had never let her down so much even if she hadn’t कहा a word about it...
The feeling someone had just used a very thin, sharp चाकू to dig a huge hole thorough him...
Hot water running down his body as he tried to convince himself that this was for the best. She really was better off out there, in the real world, where everything was just normal, average and uncomplicated. Where she would walk in the middle of the day, with whoever she wanted without feeling watched, chased or...
The feeling she would never know how much he had truly loved her...
Suddenly the echo of thunder boomed in the sky overhead.
Hugh gazed up, getting back to his senses: dark clouds hung menacingly against a angry, starless sky. He made a face, glancing back at Lisa. He wondered whether that had been enough to startle her and make her change her mind altogether over this little bike-trip down to the restaurant. To his surprise, though, he noticed she looked rather pensive. या maybe she was already scared to death? How long had he been driving? He hadn’t even been paying attention to the route. Were they still going in the right direction? It looked like it...
He carefully began to slow down “I’m sorry Liz, I got distracted a bit. I’ll try to make it fast…”
It was like someone had just abruptly woken her up from a mild state of trance. As much as she had struggled to lock them out, in fact, the moment Hugh had sped up millions of different thoughts had begun to overlap inside her head: John, their summer, London, Hugh, her trip to Madrid, the shooting, Hugh, his movie.
“The sky...” he explained to her, motioning up. She looked distracted. He wondered whether she could be figuring out why they were coming such a long way just to get some Chinese.
Lisa glanced up at the sky, blinking. How come she hadn’t even noticed that the sky had begun to rumble? She started hesitantly ”Well, maybe it won’t …” a glaring flash विभाजित करें, विभक्त करें the sky in half breaking her off. An even louder thunder boomed in the distance. She clenched her teeth “…get so bad…”
The first drops began to tap on their helmets.
“Yeah...maybe it won’t...” he कहा sarcastically.
She peered at his face and began stifling laughs: all she could see were his eyes, but from the twitches at their corners she could tell his jaw was hanging slightly open in mild astonishment. He always did that when something caught him off guard. Funny how आप really couldn’t simply stop knowing stuff about a person you’ve open up with just because आप were not...involved anymore. Slowly, her smile started to fade and she felt a thin layer of sadness falling upon her.
He brought them quickly out of the rain, steering the bike onto the shoulder of road. They sheltered under one of trees sticking out on the road-side. It had some thick foliage. He put one of his feet down on the ground to steady the bike and took his हेलमेट off with both hands. He had a deep scowl on his face, an expression of pure exasperation as if he was about lose it. And that made her laugh again, lifting her mood up at once. There was just something in the way he reacted to stuff like this – maybe overreacted would have been और accurate to be honest – that like the touch of a magic wand had the power to make her forget all about whatever was bugging her at the moment. The way he was just made her get the giggles.
She pulled off her हेलमेट and ran a hand through her hair to fix it, still smiling to herself.
The rain thickened a little.
He peered at the sky. Perhaps this was like one of those signs he hadn’t been able to read that day. They कहा every बादल had a silver lining.
He pondered for another विभाजित करें, विभक्त करें second, before finally turning, even if still reluctantly.
“You know what? I’ll just drop आप off somewhere, and you’ll be snug as a bug in a rug...” she smiled wide, choking laughs at his phrasing.
He scratched his jaw “no seriously...you just wait there, in some fancy, comfortable warm place...” he paused, catching a glimpse of a glower between her eyes. Putting things like this, without even asking didn’t sound like him. Not a bit. Of course he didn’t want to leave her somewhere, let alone go on his own but, this was really the easier way. And he knew how she felt about rain so...
He averted his gaze “...I’ll do in a minute...I can go on my own, seriously...”
She gestured a firm no with her head “No way...”
“Lisa...”
“Don’t Lisa me Hugh and don’t be silly...it’s just a few drops...” she outstretched one hand with the palm turned upwards and pulled it back waving it before his eyes “See? Almost dry...I can handle it...” What she CAN’T handle instead was being on her own somewhere waiting once again. या else she would lose it tonight.
He sighed “Lisa I really...”
“You really think I...” but she was abruptly cut off द्वारा another deafening rumble echoing in the air. Just this time, in addition, a pouring noise of driving rain followed startling her to the point of making her jump on her seat. Luckily, the foliage was thick enough to shelter them for real, letting just a few drops filter through the leaves.
Slowly, Hugh put the kickstand down, stretched आगे to hang the हेलमेट on the handlebar, licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest, bending backwards against her body. Sniggering already, he pursed his lips seeing hers were slightly parted in a memorable expression of pure shock. “You sure? Is that really your final answer?” he asked, overstressing the “really” with knowing sarcasm.
“Well...ok, ehm...perhaps we’d better wait under here for a little while...just…a little longer...” she said, patting weakly and rather unconvincingly on his back.
He smirked.
“Yeah...that was what I was thinking...my little chicken dressed up as a lion...you never change, huh?” he mocked, suffocating a quiet laugh.
Lisa smacked her fist against him “Stop it Hugh!!”
But neither of them were fooling themselves here: she knew that regardless the rain the only reason she was staying was that there was a part of her - growing stronger दिन द्वारा दिन - who didn’t want to hear about leaving him. And he knew that as much as it would have been better and wiser for him to go on his own, he didn’t really want that to happen.
He pressed on amused “I must admit I’m rather impressed you’ve not dismounted yet....”
She thrust her hands deep into the small pockets of her जैकेट and narrowed her eyes challenging him “Ahah, very funny...watch your back Mr. ‘cause I’ll take my revenge sooner या later...no doubt about it...”
He nodded vigorously “Mmm, absolutely....but I’m pretty sure I’ve already heard आप saying that, haven’t I?”
“Yeah, yeah...he who laughs last laughs longest...”
He chuckled again “Yeah..yeah...and best served cold, right? Still waiting here chicken...” he mocked.
“You know I...” and then it struck her. The phrasing he had used. His little chicken dressed up as a lion. He always used to call her like that. Something like a life-time ago. It was like one of their private jokes, having something to do with one of the interviews he had done about that lap-dance sequence, years ago. The hint of a smile started to work all its way up to her eyes. She wondered whether he had even realized having called her that.
Hugh prompted her “You what?”
She got closer almost whispering in his ear “Chicken my ass...I told you, just watch your back...”
Hugh dropped his head down, bursting out laughing and Lisa followed “Ok, ok I will...”
After they stopped laughing, they kept quiet for quite some time then, just listening to the sound of the rain tapping incessantly on the pavements and the roads and teeming above their heads. It was getting hard to see something even just a few meters ahead of them. The lights of an approaching car pierced through the pelting rain, blinding him for moment, then it passed them, lighting up a सड़क, स्ट्रीट sign that gave directions to the Beverly Hills Luxury Hotel...
It was July.
Lisa was standing अगला to the window. She had pulled the curtain open to peek at the sky through the shutters “Well...it’s not exactly the Santa Monica Luxury Hotel but...I guess it can do for one night....”.
It was dark outside. आप couldn’t see anything out of the window and the only audible sound was hear the teeming noise of the rain patting endlessly on the windowsill.
He had suddenly let go of their luggage dropping it on the floor and she had turned instantly, goggling at him “What?”
He had sighed heavily, moistening his lips with the tip of his tongue “You serious? This can do?!” He was working on his tone, trying to look and sound slightly mad at her but he was perfectly aware he wouldn’t be able to fool her. He wasn’t mad of course. Maybe a little sorry they hadn’t made it and this was the best he could do when they had managed to run out of town together.
It had been a long week. Crazy schedule. They hadn’t seen each other very much after work and he had been missing her terribly. He had missed spending time with her.
But she knew all of this already. She knew he wasn’t really mad. In fact, she hadn’t even bothered replying to him. She had turned to him instead, with a faint, mischievous smile curling up her lips. A familiar light in her eyes. She had crossed her arms behind her back, slowing leaned backwards against the दीवार and had sinuously arched her belly slightly आगे – unnoticeably maybe - but enough for him to feel a sudden rush of heat flushing through his veins and blood rushing to his head.
She always did that to him, ‘cause she knew he just couldn’t resist this stuff for long. He usually tried to not give in too soon, though, ‘cause truth was he had tremendous fun with her. All of this foreplay-stuff, this waiting-game, the heat rising up between them made him truly savour the moment even more. He had never played so much before in his life. And he had discovered he loved it. He loved it with HER.
But God she always made him lose his head before....
Just like that time, when she was staring at him with those dazzling, glowing grey eyes of hers making him feel almost spellbound. She was no pushover for sure: she liked to be the one who called the shots and he had no problem in giving her a clear run. Just that time he knew that, if he really wanted to make a fair point, he did need to keep his eyes off her, avoiding that engaging, fake innocent look she was giving him right now. She ought to be reasonable for once, at least admit she wasn’t being so.
“DON'T...give me that stare” he had कहा firmly pointing one of his fingers at her “That’s the most overrated cheap-shot आप can come up with, आप know that...”
He had stepped into the bathroom, knowing he needed to get away from that stare and had started bustling with the water knobs to distract himself from the thought of her. They didn’t work properly: hot water came out from the cold one and vice versa.
“Come on Hugh...” her tone was caressing “We couldn’t see anything within a few meters...wouldn’t have made any sense reaching Santa Monica all soaked to the bones....” he could hear her steps approaching “...what difference does it make anyway?” she had stopped द्वारा the door. He could sense her standing behind him, waiting for him to stop playing and give her his total attention.
But she was willing to play along and have some और fun too. He could tell from something in her voice and even in her walk. And this was one of things he mostly loved about her. She wasn’t just his lover. She was his friend. His playmate. A real companion और than he had never been able to tell her.
He had pretended to be still mildly vexed at her then, keeping his eyes stubbornly fixed down on the water pipes, following them to the wall, passing his hands over them, checking the connections. He had no idea what he was doing. He didn’t know a thing about this stuff.
“Oh yeah absolutely...sure...” he had argued “...’cause we happen to be staying at the poorest version of Chateau Marmont ‘cause we didn’t want to soak ourselves...right...this little arrangement doesn’t have anything to do with the fact you’re a hopeless, little, stubborn chicken... “ he had heard her scoffing and turning away. Maybe his tone had come out a little too harsh “...perhaps a lovely, gorgeous, irresistible little chicken, but still...a chicken dressed up as a lion...”
Beat. She had chocked a giggle “Ok, fine...it’s all my fault...but seriously Hugh...” he had heard her unzipping her case “...it’s not like we could have checked in and have a swim in the pool या enjoy a candlelit रात का खाना in some fancy restaurant...” he had lifted his head up at that point and rested his weight over his forearms, looking at his face in the mirror “...we would have had to lock ourselves up in a room anyway....”
Her tone was conversational, but he remembered feeling a little pang in his chest, which at the time he had conveniently decided to ignore, pressing on teasingly instead and brushing off that uneasy feeling of guilt.
If he had any expertise at all, that was in the area of guilt and self-denial.
He had started washing his hands “Sure, sure...I mean what could have possibly be different? Five stars room service? Soft, perfumed towelling bathrobes? Maybe pure silk sheets?!” he had heard her amused thrilling laugh from the other room and that had kept him going.
“We could have been there in one घंटा या two at the utmost, if आप had just trusted my guide...but no....it’s fine, everything turned out just perfect” he कहा emphasizing his English pronunciation over the last words
“Are आप done?” she had asked faking annoyance.
He had ignored her repeating himself “perfect...just perfect...after all, we have just ended up booking a room twice the size of my house closet!!” he had heard her snorting amused “...to be generous“ he had muttered louder enough for her to hear it. Another chuckle.
She had always had a thing for when he played the part of snobbish, overpaid, spoiled TV-star. She always used to tell him - in a perfect, outstanding imitation of his English accent - that “such a celebrity-complex on him sounded absolutely preposterous”, which was in fact the very reason she claimed he sounded so adorable when he joked like this. He had never quite understood that, but well and good, right? He could still hear her voice in his ears, telling him stuff like: “such a preposterousness is one of the most far-fetched thing one could conceive about you, Hugh”. That was one of her favourite tongue-twisters. But seriously, the way she could get her tongue around words such as preposterous and far-fetched with such a neat English pronunciation was incredible. She could have been a left-handed player just like he was: faking accents. And that just proved how good she was - just as much as him - although no one praised her enough. Not even he had, maybe...
“And so here we are...” he had kept on “...in one of cheapest two stars hotels in the country, buried in the middle of nowhere with no और than a double बिस्तर at our disposal and a bathroom...” he added, giving a quick look at the size of it, as he dried his hands and sighing turned to the door “...a bathroom which is maybe the very size of one the wonderful double, hydro-massage ba...” and then he had had to remind his lungs how to keep pumping properly again “...bath-tub...sss” he had slurred “ they have...have...have in their rooms...” he had stammered.
He had found Lisa gracefully wiggling her hips from one side to another – as if she was checking herself up and down - and pressing closer against her body a very scanty, very see-through....very heart-stopping, bordeaux baby-doll. She was also wearing some deliriously sexy फीता लेडीज़ इनवेअर that - he was sure - must had been banned as illegal in England since क्वीन Victoria’s times.
Finally she had lifted up her eyes up and bit her bottom lips hinting at a flirtatious, challenging smile.“What about this cheap-shop?” she had asked starting to pace towards him.
God that thing..the way it went around her body...the entire corpus of an English thesaurus wouldn’t have been able to depict it properly. The way her silky, white-milk complexion shined against that colour.
“Still overrated?” she had teased, silently seizing both his hands to guide him to the bed. She had started walking backwards, never keeping her tempting, smiling eyes off him.
He was ravished and in truth He couldn’t take his eyes off her, but somehow he had managed to break the spell and smirked self-confidently as if he was still perfectly in control.
“You know, I’m pretty sure I had a कल्पना once that started just like this...”
She had stopped then and a radiant smile had erupted on her face.
“A fantasy? About me?” There was a hint of surprising flattery in her voice.
He had inched forward. One of his hands had easily sneaked around her small waist, tugging her closer; the other had gently brushed off one of the curly wisps falling over the side of her neck, slowly enough to make it look an absentminded gesture. Like he was still taking his time and not dying for what came next...
He had kissed the hollow at the base of her throat and started tracing his way up to her neck. She smelled like honeysuckle and lily. And tasted like an intoxicating blend of one thousands different flavours.
“How come आप never told me?” she had asked giggling, shivering lightly under the warm, tickling touch of his breath delicately brushing her skin. He liked having that effect on her. She called the shots but then - when the moment came - she played into his hands and द्वारा his rules.
And that simply fired him.
He had sensed her catch her breath as soon as his hands had began to run up along her hips, as if he wanted to slide the baby-doll over her head already. But he was still playing. He didn’t want to do that yet.
Instead, he had bent over whispering his final answer in her ear “I just didn’t want to spoil you”
Lisa had laughed, puzzled “Spoil me?”
He had brushed his lips on her temple, smelling her hair “Yep...since I was planning on putting them, one द्वारा one, into practice”
And then he had just suddenly scooped her, crashing them playfully onto the बिस्तर while she laughed delighted.
And he couldn’t remember stopping making प्यार to her that weekend...
“What’s on your mind?”
Lisa’s voice reached his ears like a cold shower. She bent over, casually resting her chin on his shoulder. He instinctively turned, seeing her lips slightly parted in a little, curious pout. He realized he was still licking his own, as if there was some flavour to catch and retain.
No और than a few मिनटों had passed really, but Hugh’s silence was killing her already.
He started brainstorming “Ehm...I...”
She turned her head again, resting her cheek on his jacket, waiting patiently for him to answer. She didn’t want to sound pushy, but she needed him to talk to her, keep her mind busy. There were too many thoughts bouncing around in her head.
Hugh was almost having a cold sweat. The feeling of her leaning so nonchalantly and comfortably against him had something amazing in it, but it wasn’t certainly having any convenient, relaxing effect on him at the moment.
He had to come up with something.
Now.
“Hugh?” She would go nuts if he kept being so mysterious.
Ok. Half-truth
“I was thinking....I was thinking about one of the last times we got caught under a rain like this...like...”
Like?!
His brain gave a flat-line long beep.
Note so self: read a How-To to increase आप brain’s performance under pressure अगला time...
Lisa’ lips curled up into a rather nostalgic smile thinking she knew the one he had in mind.
“You mean like that time of three years ago, when आप first brought me out for a ride to दिखाना me your brand new Bonneville?”
Thank God
He gestured a wide yes with his head, motioning to her as if she had just read his mind, his lips pressed into a thin line.
“Precisely...like that one....”
Her chin plunged a little deeper into his जैकेट “We also got a flat tire that time and went back to the studios looking like two kids who had just finished wallowing in the mud...”
“Really? I’ve completely forgotten it”
Lisa saw her frowning, slightly puzzled and scratched the side of his temple with one finger “I meant...the part about the mud-rolling...”
“Oh....yeah...”
Too bad. That was one of her top-ten bonding moments with him. One of the times she had started feeling their connection the most.
He half-turned a little more, spotting a faint shadow of sorrow in her eyes and something inside him flicked, triggering the impulse to make her smile again. He sat sideways on the saddle, so he could see her face better. She moved her chin away and pulled up, feeling suddenly a little agitated.
He opened his eyes wide, making a funny face “I guess, some part of me must have found it pretty traumatic on my bike’s behalf...” he said, caressing it lovingly.
False alarm.
She threw her head backwards, tucking the lower lip in her mouth, nodding slowly “Yeah, pooooor bike...” she टिप्पणी जोड़ा गया हे sarcastically “...but what about my heels? Shall we talk about that? That was pretty traumatic over my brand new Marc Jacobs high-heels too, आप know...”
“Yeah...right. Sorry for that” He laughed quietly remembering how much they had laughed after that. How come he had forgotten? He knew a couple of women who would have chopped his head off for far less than a pair of heels द्वारा the way.
The downpour grew suddenly louder and turned into a hammering sound, making them both turn their head simultaneously.
Eyes staring into the space, captivated द्वारा the sight of the rain drops falling relentlessly on ground, he started wondering whether there had never been a time he had goodluck with this woman.
And then a gust of wind brought a lily fragrance to his nostrils. या so he thought.
“What are आप smiling at now?”
His mouth hung open for a moment, before he cleared his head again wondering where all this Memory Lane stuff was coming from tonight.
He gave a little cough “Nothing, nothing. I was just...just thinking...I have really been challenging your patience with this bike-thing along the years, haven’t I?”
Among the other things to be honest...
Lisa searched his gaze, bending down her head a little “My patience?”
He met her eyes. There was such a pure light in them. Such a candour. He felt dirty again. He was consciously fooling those eyes into following him half-way through the city, just because of his press paranoia. And he was lying to her about it. Ok, omitting, but still...
He had to tell her. At least half of it.
He turned again, straddling and resting on the handlebars, thinking about all the times she had told him she understood, but how fair was it to keep on asking her to do so?
Lisa pushed him teasingly “You planning on elaborating your thoughts for me?”
He sighed. He just didn’t have the courage.
“Well...come on Liz...just...just name one time in which things didn’t went amiss...” he कहा motioning eloquently to the road “LAST TIME, I scared आप to death with hairpin turns and roadside cliffs. NOW, I’m dragging आप down slippery roads under a terrifying, pelting rain just to get some Chinese” he paused staring down at the asphalt and shaking his head “You must admit it: 2010 hadn’t even started yet and I’ve already put on an interesting collection...”
Just great. Self-pity dressed up as the cheapest humour...
Could he fall lower with himself?
Lisa laughed good-humorously, lifting her hair up into a bun “Come on...you couldn’t know...”
“Oh yeah, sure...I’m not saying it’s my fault of course...”
He had to muster the courage to tell her. He half-turned again, glancing at her. She was keeping her hair softly up with both hands, revealing her bare neck. And she was smiling at him so like that time back in July that...
He didn’t want to ruin this evening. That was all. He just couldn’t let her down so much. Not again.
He glanced up at the sky, nodding “You know what? Must be my bad star...” he heard her laughing already and somehow that boasted him, bringing one hand to his chest “...not that I would NEVER let go of my misfortunate roots – that goes without saying - आप know how diehard-ish conservative I am with this sort of stuff...”
Lisa laughed again and he fought back a delighted smirk “BUT, anyway...my point being...it always happen like that आप see, just like that time आप mentioned...”
Her memory jogged.
“...or the one when we were driving to Santa Monica....”
Hugh rubbed one hand through his hair, ruffling them “Yeah...right...another one...see? So I suppose...you see...” He was losing the thread. The beaming image of Lisa lying on him and playfully brushing her lips against his had suddenly popped out in his mind and was now getting और and और vivid. He pushed it back, desperately trying to bar it in one of the corners of his mind.
Lisa watched him with questioning eyes. She didn’t know what was wrong with him, but she had a feeling he wasn’t telling her the whole truth about what was bugging him tonight. This wasn’t like him.
“You sure you’re ok?” she asked, squeezing her eyes suspiciously at him.
He cleared his throat “Ehm sure...I...I just suddenly remembered I had to do something, never mind. I’ll deal with it tomorrow. Anyway...”
He crossed his arms over his chest, getting defensive - she knew him well enough recognize the signs - but decided to let it go; whatever was buzzing around in his head he wasn’t willing to share for now
“...so I was saying...we agree neither of these techniques I have so cleverly displayed count exactly as golden-rules a manual would recommend to renew old bonds, do we?
She rubbed her lips moistening them “Mmm....”
“Great!Which in turn...” he कहा gesturing with one hand as if he was trying to help her follow his logic “....brings us back to my original statement...”
Lisa swung her had, making a tentative gesture of assent, as if she was still trying to see his point “...which was that you’ve being challenging my patience?”
“Yep...”
“I see...”
She pushed her hands deeper into her pockets and turned her head on one side, keeping quiet and going back to rest her face against him then. She stared into the rain that kept teeming endlessly while a life-time of patchy memories started to stream through her mind, like a sequence of fading frames thronging confusedly. Her fingers were freezing, but her face felt burning hot against the cold leather texture of Hugh’s jacket. It was a refreshing feeling.
He didn’t miss her odd silence. Now what had he said? He tried with a tongue-in-cheek टिप्पणी दे “Maybe I should buy a car, आप know. One of those inconspicuous Ford Galaxies...so you’d feel better whenever I take आप somewhere....” He clenched his teeth. That hadn’t come out quite right since he wasn’t really supposed to take her anywhere.
She gave a little sigh, wondering how come he could seriously believe she cared about whatever mishap had happened along the way. She had wonderful memories of each one of those times they had just recalled, regardless whatever minor bump in the road they might have had.
Hugh was getting slightly worried he might had crossed an invisible line of some sort. But when? Saying what? He pressed on, keeping it conversational “ ...think about it...even if it turns out being the worst time of your life, आप can always at least say आप enjoyed the ride...”
No reaction so far, rather lack thereof.
Lisa closed her eyes. He didn’t get it: even if none of those times had turned out to be their perfect moment, she didn’t care. Perfection was just...unreal. And then, that night at the Observatory...maybe he hadn’t thoroughly realized it, but that had just been perfect. Regardless the tension; regardless the bike; regardless how she had felt once alone in the quietness of her house listening to John’s voice coming from the answering-machine. Just perfect, ‘cause that was just like them: a bittersweet blend of memories she would never be able to reject not even in a life-time.
He really couldn’t take it anymore “Ehm...Liz, आप still here?”
She slowly lifted her head up then, going back to rest her chin onto his back “I was actually thinking....you know, it’s just...” she hesitated trying to find a way to put this into words “...it’s pretty funny how eventually memories settle down differently...I mean from one person to another. It changes maybe...”
She realized he wasn’t quite seeing what she was getting at so she frowned lightly, in mild embarrassment, glancing up at the sky to avoid his stare. “I mean…take that time at the Griffith’s, I didn’t even remember the road until आप mentioned it, seriously…and I...I have never really thanked आप for that..” her दिल started to pound a little harder and Hugh’s skipped a beat as he began to listen very intently “...that night, the one आप brought me up there….what आप did was...I mean...for the sake of renewing old bonds - as आप like to call it –That was....you had a very, very sweet idea”
The और she talked, the और she realized she didn’t even know why she was doing this. It was like, rather than just a few days, weeks had passed since she last had spent some time with him. She didn’t even know why या how…but something within this lapse of time had changed inside her. One और time. And now she just felt like she had something tightly entangled at the pit of her stomach and she didn’t know how to feel better. Get that out of her system. So maybe if she allowed herself to be somehow honest - just for once - possibly she would feel relieved.
Hugh breathed in deeply. He was working very, VERY hard to not attach to her words whatever kind of extra, delusional meaning his mind was already conceiving “Well I...”
But the tougher part was still to come. She cut him off, smiling shyly but never taking her eyes off the dark sky “YOU were...very sweet and I really, really had a wonderful time Hugh. I’m serious. It was truly wonderful and it was very thoughtful of you”
But now she had to stop. Before it became too much even for her to भालू it. Honest yeah, but just up to some extent.
A half-truth.
She shrugged “I guess...I just wanted to say...thank you, for everything...” and then she just nodded shortly, ignoring the wild rate of her दिल pounding like crazy against her chest, waiting for him to say something.
But he didn’t know what to say. He only wished he could have acted on his true feelings for once and sent everything to hell. Just one और time.
Silence grew deeper, just broken off द्वारा the sound of a faintly, misty rain. It looked like it was about to stop. How could he tell her now? After...this. What kind of a man would he be?
In a barely audible whisper he couldn’t find anything else to say “I guess...you’re welcome Liz….”
This time she was quicker than him and got back to her senses before her own feelings overwhelmed her. She outstretched her palm up right again: it came back dry.
“We’d better take advantage and keep going....”
He made a final attempt to make things right, so to speak. He didn’t know how much he craved success, though, and he was truly starting to feel quite selfish in all this matter tonight.
“Final call” his voice came out shattered to him “...you sure आप want to come and run the risk to get caught in the middle of my bad-star crossing our path?”
He wasn't even sure where he was standing anymore, really. It was an exhausting battle between what HE wanted and what he KNEW she deserved. And he didn’t know which side was winning over the other at the moment.
Lisa put her हेलमेट on, stubbornly decided to overcome and silence whatever was screaming inside her “Positive”
It shouldn’t have been so hard, should it?
