He had found the time to write a सेकंड letter to Cuddy. He was doing his best to work through his feelings. He didn;t know if she would read the letters. He wasn't even sure he would be able to get it to her." He pulled the letter out to read it one और time to see if he really wanted to send it.
Cuddy,
I've been back a few months and everything is so different. I realize और than ever how special the teams that were built at Princeton were. The hospital is in such disarray and financial crisis. I realize how special we all were together.
I met a family while in Mexico and there was an eight साल old. He found me in a drunken stupor with no money and an infected leg. I think I was close to dying. He brought me खाना and took care of me. He got me to a village that was mainly an orphanage and there a doctor treated the infection and my addiction.
As I got to know the doctor I told him that I had been a doctor and I had some issues that made it impossible for me to go home. He didn't सवाल me and told me he would help me if I would help him. I stayed and helped him with the kids. They were so young and their parents couldn't take care of them so they had just brought them to the orphanage and left them.
None of those kids were unhappy though. They were all so grateful to have people taking care of them. One night I got up and I could hear one of them crying and when I found the one crying it was the little boy who had helped me. His name was Rafael. He was having trouble breathing and after doing the limited testing they have available I found it was a दिल defect.
I couldn't fix him and I couldn't get him a transplant. I had Dominica doing as much as she could from the states and she would mail me as much medicine as she could get her hands on. I was doing some doctoring for some of the richer sect to make money and get my hands on extra drugs for Rafael and the other children.
When I got the call that कहा आप had dropped the charges I thought maybe I would be able to get Rafael a दिल transplant so I came back. That was my first thought.
My सेकंड thought was how you've always looked past all my actions to see my why I did the things I did. आप loved me sacrificially much like the children in the orphanage loved their parents. But that is the whole thing आप were not my parent.You wanted to be my partner.
I took advantage for years of the fact that आप wanted to "help" me, to "fix" me. आप gave me every reason to drop my guard and to trust you. I couldn't take a chance that आप would see who I was. That आप would see me and decide.............
I think I knew I would lose आप but at least it was because of something I did and not that आप "saw me: and decided I wasn't what आप wanted.
I was incapable of trusting anyone with all of my दिल but I think आप incapable of trusting me. The fact that आप were waiting on me to screw up made it harder for me to do anything else.
"I also think that आप kept me at arms length." आप didn't tell me what आप wanted. I was out there spinning trying to figure out what to do and आप didn't tell me I was close to losing आप या how आप felt. आप yelled, आप shut the door on me, but आप didn't talk to me.
When I did things that I knew would bother आप your reaction was different than it had ever been. If it was something I didn't want to do I found a reason to bail out. I drank to get away from the things I was worrying about. आप wanted to know I could handle pressures and I showed आप that I couldn't. I thought आप would talk and that आप would open up but आप never did.
I did take vicodin so I wouldn't have to feel the fear that आप were feeling but I was really believed आप were dying and that I just had to be there.
I pushed आप for years and I did cruel things. I put आप through hell. I think we started this relationship with too much baggage. आप finally कहा enough is enough. I am so sorry that I could have hurt Rachel या you. I told आप that दिन that it wasn't your fault but I didn't believe that.
I know now that most of this was my fault.
Thank आप for dropping the charges. Thank आप for loving me. I really do hope आप are happy.
P.S.Lisa I ..............I do प्यार you. I still miss your touch. I miss "you." If I could do it over I would do so many things differently.
House
As he folded the letter he put it in the zipper part of his carry on.
As the plane touched down House stood up to get his carry on and he didn't realize that the letter fell out. He also didn't notice that Lucas had been on the flight.
