Her Majesty, the Queen of Darkness
Greetings, Fanpoppers and Fanpoppettes, and welcome to the Midnight घंटा with your host, Cinders. Tonight, we managed to procure an interview with the mysterious and elusive DarkSarcasm, who lurks in the shadows of many spots here on Fanpop. Generally a creature of few words, the strangely captivating user has deigned to answer a few सवालों for the rest of the community. After our exclusive interview with the Darkest of Sarcasms, we'll also give आप a recipe for frying and preparing human placenta, and fashion tips that every goth should know. Here's one right at the चोटी, शीर्ष of the show: Black is always in.
Good evening, DarkSarcasm. Is there any particular शीर्षक आप would like us to call आप tonight?
I have many titles. To some, I am Dark, Dasm, या DS. To others, I am the क्वीन of Darkness. Call me what आप wish.
Wonderful. Now, I'm sure that everyone in the फैन्पॉप community at large is just dying to know: Where on earth did आप come up with that most unusual user name?
Well, I needed something ominous, obviously. It took me days to find the perfect name. I needed it to be perfect... But really, it just kind of happened. No special story here.
Aha, I see, very interesting. And what is it about फैन्पॉप that appeals to आप so much?
Impressionable youth.
Ah, yes, they can be a riot!
Also, medals. They make even the darkest of souls brighten up on occasion.
So tell me, which spots are your प्रिय and why?
I wish I could say the vampire spot, but I cannot. It has been overrun with glittery scum, Cullen fangirls as far as the eye can see. Disgraceful. Moving on... the सूपरनॅचुरल spot has been a nice replacement home. There is always something interesting going on there.
Fascinating. Really, I'm riveted. Can आप tell me, what is the average air velocity of a swallow?
Seven
All right, now that all the basic stuff is out of the way, I'm sure our listeners would प्यार to hear all the little personal juicy gossippy details of your life. Let's start with your real name. What is it?
I have not used that name in what seems like decades... I believe I'll keep it that way, for the time being.
Would आप consider yourself to be a family person? Have आप considered children, for example?
Oh, I have definitely considered children. In fact, they are delicious - I try to keep it to one a week, though. Family... yes, I have a family - my chosen ones. They know who they are. They're quite useful... I mean, I प्यार them.
And what about your प्यार life? Is there a Prince of Darkness in the picture?
Those details are not fit to be released to the public at this time.
Oh, आप sneaky little devil! What are your life goals?
I want to sleep all दिन and party all night. Forever.
Don't we all? आप seem like a very pensive person, but आप don't often speak your mind. What's going on in that diabolical little head of yours?
*smirk* If I told आप that, I'd have to kill you. या is that what I'm planning anyway?
Ahaha, she's just kidding, folks. So what's your प्रिय food?
Babies.
*cough*
Just kidding. I'm going to go with lasagna. Yep, that's it.
Here's a call in question: Anna from Stockholm wants to know what your stance is on capital punishment?
I say, go for it. Most people would be lucky to go that easily.
Let's try a little word association:
Donner-- Richard
Scientology-- cult
Bundy-- Ted
Blood-- lust
Garlic-- pizza
Toenails-- ew
Wolf-- moon
Charles-- Manson
Hero-- Villain
Baby-- Trashcan
Bat-- man
Holy-- shit
Cross-- the road
Grave-- digger
Coffin-- sleep
Sunlight-- ow ow fuckity ow
Steak-- *runs away*
Hey! Hold on there, are आप a vegetarian या something? Come back! DarkSarcasm? Well, it seems that'll be all for tonight, folks. Curious she fled just as the sun is rising. And here I was, fantasizing that after the दिखाना we'd be best friends... या at least go out and get breakfast. अगला up on the Midnight Hour: How to spice up your placenta, followed by: Goth Fashion: Do आप feel like आप wear the same thing every day? Spice up your outfit द्वारा dying your hair black to match.
