Roman: (meets Niko at the नाव stop).

Niko: (stressed) What took आप so long!

Roman: Sorry.. I was at a party.. But anyway.. (singing) Welcome, home, Cousin. आप know that, I missed ye-

Niko: [Off-Screen] NO! [On-Screen] NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR आप SING!

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Roman: Do आप think Mallorie's mad at me?

Niko: Because you're in the right lane behind a bus and आप won't go around it? (sarcastically) No, I'm sure she finds it charming.

Roman: No, because I didn't invite her to come आप with me.

Niko: I'm starting to think she dodged a bullet.. The slowest bullet in the world!.

Roman: Calm down Niko.. I thought आप had your anger issues under control?

Niko: What are आप talking about. I don't have anger issu- (suddenly enraged) OH MY GOD ROMAN! आप DID "NOT" HAVE TO SLOW DOWN FOR A BIRD!.. आप KNOW THEY FLY RIGHT!?

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Roman: That's right. I got the best cockroaches, I got the best dirt!

Niko: SHUT UP! (angrily punches hole into the wall).

Roman: (sarcastically) Oh, yeah, I guess I'm okay with आप destroying my property.

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Raman: But anyway.. But here, all I needed was one good guy. One good guy, I could do well. Not take over the world, but do oka-

Niko: (angrily after looking in the fridge) WHERE'S THE FUCKIN MILK!?

Roman: I don't have any-

Niko: (enraged) Then go out and FUCKIN द्वारा SOME!

Roman: (scared) Okay, okay! (runs out the door).

SOON AFTER:

Roman: (gives Niko दूध container) आप happy now?

Niko: (happily) I'm VERY happy now.

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Niko: Fine., During the war. We did some bad things and bad things happened to us. War is where the young and stupid are tricked द्वारा the old and कड़वा into killing each other. I was very young, and very angry. Maybe that is no excuse... Roman?

Niko: (violently pounds table) ROMAN!.. Are आप sleeping आप FAT FUCK!?

Roman: I'm sorry I-

Niko: FUCK आप ROMAN!... Fuck!... Fuck someone!... Fuck a tit!... Fuck a tit hard!... For the प्यार of Alan greenspan... FUCK!

Roman: ... Feel better?

Niko: ... (sighs) not really.

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Dardan: Fuck you! (tries to stab Niko, who dodge it)

Niko: (breaks his arm).

Dardan Oh my arm. Oh!

Niko: (mockingly) Ohh, was that your arm?

Dardan: Fuck you!

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Niko: I'm sorry!

Roman: SCREW YOU!

Niko: Look, it wasn't my business.. I thought आप were okay with it!

Roman: Well clearly I'm not!

Niko: Well.. Go after him then. (opens friddge) Cause I'm not getting involv- Wait, what happened to my kit-kat bar I left in here?

Roman: Vlad must of took it.

Niko: (enraged) THE MOTHER FUCKER!

Roman: Whoa man, calm dow-

Niko: (finds and cocks a पंप action shotgun) I'LL KILL HIM! (runs out towards the car, holding the shotgun).

Roman: Wait Niko. Don't do anything too craz- Wait for me!

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Niko: Keep away from Mr Faustin's daughter.

Mason: Fuck you! This ain't Russia! And we ain't communists!

Niko: Why dose everybody think I'm Russian?

Daughter: Tell my dad! I can see whoever I want..

Mason: I will get the brothers. And we're kick your as- (gets shot in the face, and dies).

Niko: (holding handgun).

Daughter: आप KILLED HIM!

Niko: Yes. That's why I'm here… What did आप expect.. Me to chase him down on a bike and fight him and other bike members.. No thank you.

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Roman: (on phone) Cousin, let's go bowling.

Niko: Not know Roman.

Roman: (on phone) Strip club than?

Niko: आप know I don't care for that shit cousin.

Roman: (on phone) but they got Lindsay Lohan now.

Niko: ... Really?

Roman: (on phone) yeah. And she shows EVERYTHING!

Niko: Oh god! That is so fuckin hot!

Roman: (on phone) I know right.

Niko: What about Paris Hilton?... I mean.. She's a idiot. But she's got an rockin bod!

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Packie and Derrick dramatically burst out of the bank, firing at the cops.

The scream moments from KORN - GET THIS PARTY STARTED fill the background).

Packie: (annoyed) Niko! Turn off the music! I can't concentrate.

Niko: (holding a CD player that's playing the Korn song), But it's setting the mood!

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Niko: (walks past Johnny, on his way to save Roman) हे Johnny.

Johnny: (dialing phone) हे Niko.

Niko: (goes into the warehouse, and pulls out gun).

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Ray: (gets shot in the face and dies)

Niko: (holding desert eagle) HA! I shot your face!.. Take that faceless!... Serves आप right for thinking I'm not going to lie down for some frat boy bastard with his damn henley, smoking his sticky buds out of a soda can while watching his प्रिय downloaded Simpson episodes every night! Yes, we all प्यार Mr. Plow. Oh, you've got the song memorized, do you? SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!

(20 मिनटों later)

Niko: (still talking) That is exactly the kind of idiot आप see at टैको, taco घंटी, बेल at one in the morning... the guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder. If he wants to throw hands, I'll throw hands! I tell you...

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Niko: And that's why I need you

Dash: (outside Packie's house).. But never कहा anything.. आप came over, knocked on my door. and कहा "and that's why I need you".

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Dimitri: Fuck आप Bellic!

Niko: No fuck आप Dimitri!.. I KNEW it was a mistake to work with you!.. But I DID... I promised Roman to start forgiving.. And now आप took him!... I FUCKIN HATE YOU!

Dimitri: (a bit annoyed) Yes! I am aware of that.

Niko: I have और respect for the shit I invaded my toilet with, than I for you. I'm surprised ANYBODYnlikes आप for all आप do.. Your a cruel, ugly, annoying-

20 मिनटों later

Niko: (still talking as he chases after Dimitri on the roof) over confident, backstabbing, son of a bitch!... And when I find you! swear I am gonna I will rip out your eyes, jab them down your throat and have आप watch as I slowly rip each body part off and cut them into bite sized pieces and tha-

5 hours later:

Niko: (still talking as he chases after Dimitri on the boat) And when it's finally all done, I will cut off your head and place it over my fireplace, as a constant reminder of what a cold hearted FUCK looks like!.. and this WILL happen, I will hunt आप down and-

2 hours later:

Niko: (still talking as he's getting on Jacob's helicopter) And than.. And only than, would I be able to हटाइए on!

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Niko: (approaches) Welcome to America.

Dimitri: (translated) Screw you... आप dick.

Niko: Yeah well.. Kill my cousin.. And this is what happens. (shoves a grenade down Dimitri's throat and walks away as it goes off, pieces of Dimitri flying all over the place).