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What do आप think about my fanfiction?

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I started making it last summer, there are only oc's and i really need some feedback ( here and on deviantart ).
P.S. I f आप are going to actually read it I want to say sorry for the grammar errors (english it'd not my mother language and my keyboar hates me )
 shippo_33 posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
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OptimusThunder said:
I read chapters 1 and 2. Good start! I applaud your creativity and I like the premise of chapter 1.
As an aspiring writer myself, I suggest that आप put in some descriptions of the surroundings and make your characters do things, हटाइए around and be active. Try to balance the dialogue with actions.
Also, sometimes I got confused on who was talking. Use some quick (I said) या (he said) after the dialogue to make it और clear to the reader who is talking.

Again, good work. Keep writing!
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posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
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I got the same सलाह and i started adding और विवरण in the chapter 9. I can tell आप tings are getting weird
shippo_33 posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
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