Prologue: after Jacob Black and Renesmee Culen are married, living in the cottage Esme built for Bella and Edward. Trouble strikes, the वेयरवोल्फ don't approve the happy couple living together, Sam isn't happy about Jakes fulfillment with the pack he feels that he is spending too much time with Renesmee and not with the pack, protecting the Quileute people.
*From Renesmee's view
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sUrPrIsEs
~*~
"Jake, common!" It was Sam's gravelly, irritated voice that woke me up. With astonished pleasure I realized I was married to the man I loved, the man I couldn't live without, the man who, just months ago, had pledged his प्यार and devotion to me. I sighed eternally, that was the BEST honeymoon anyone ever had.
Then my head wrapped around what was happening. Sam was here, that meant he was going to suffer a replay of what happened last night to get my husband to help with whatever he need. He needed Jacob. But I did too, I wanted to never let go of him, to never have to leave this spot, Jakes warm arm wrapped around me, like a barrier, like he didn't want to leave either. That thought made me smile.
"Jacob Black, wake up!" I recognized the alpha order behind that tone. "Renesmee I know your awake and I realize that आप two were probably up real late last night, but I also know that its past 5 o'clock in the afternoon." That made my eyes pop open in shock.
"What? Oh, crap my mom is probably wondering where I am. If not her Alice definitely is!" I Jumped up, but then slumped back as the sleepless night hit me. "Whoa! Head rush!" That was when Jake awoke.
He yawned and sat up. " What's the matter Nessi?" I reached for him to give him a kiss, but noticed I was missing a vital thing, a thing that had Sam turn around and walk out of the room, my clothes were a torn up pile of rubble on the floor, so were Jakes. That was it I burst out laughing. Jake joined in.
Sam was walking into the hall. "Jake I'm going to give आप about thirty सेकंड्स to get fully clothed and descent, and आप too Nessi," He was really mad now, but he couldn't help laughing. "And आप better not get mad if आप catch me thinking about that later...It was really something!"
Jake got up and put a pair of fresh shorts on. I too, got up and got dress in something Alice would have never approved of, one of Jakes too-big tee-shirts, and we walked out into the hall, hand in hand. "UGH! I hate this!" Sam yelled kicking the wall, very angry again. "Jacob I need to talk to आप outside!" He led my 27 साल old husband outside, as Jacob walked out the door he looked back at me and winked.
I smiled and went to the bathroom to check the garbage for my secret, the reason why I hadn't been being truthful with Jake: a pregnancy test, a positive one. I sat there, on the toilet and started crying, so violently that my whole frame was shaking. In my sobbing I fell asleep. When I woke I wasn't in the bathroom anymore. I was in my bed. Curled up अगला to Jacob who was snoring and warm.
I silently got up and went to the bathroom I pulled out the phone I had stashed away, I knew the number but the yelling I heard from Sam made me think, was this right? Jake was putting his back to his pack, his family, and what was I giving him back? Nothing...I dialed the number doubtfully anyway.
"Hey, Renesmee," My mother sighed, I could tell she was worried.
"Mommy, I'm coming over in a minute." I was on the verge of crying, she could tell.
"Honey, what's the matter?" she was really concerned now. "What happened? Are आप and Jake O.K.?" She was panicking, I could picture her now, dad अगला to her, probably playing with her hair, and stress creasing her forehead. She started hyperventilating.
"Mom, Jakes fine." I sighed "See आप in a sec."
I hung up the silver phone and wiped the tears clean from my face, put on some water proof makeup, at least it wouldn't look like I was bawling when I got there. I got up from the floor and went to the window. I didn't see anything, but the picture of Sam yelling at Jacob was burned in my head. "Do आप think this GIRL is और important than the PACK?! There are 25 members now! James is only TEN!!! I'm not risking his life too!" Sam was accusing the वैंपायर for the outbreak in the were भेड़िया population. I couldn't take it anymore I ran though the forest I wasn't as fast as the full वैंपायर it was fast enough.
It wasn't long before I was bursting through the doors of my former home, where it seemed mom was the only one who knew. They all rushed in to hug me, as it was evident that I had been crying, but I didn't want to talk to anyone but Mom and Alice.
Alice was in on the whole thing with one touch of my face. I had learned how to push my odd gift on और than just my hands it now covered my upper body. I noticed my father, Edward Cullen, wasn't here. How odd. It didn't matter.
"I want to talk to my Mom and Alice only." I declared, after they all touched me and got the whole story...everything I wanted them to know.
I led the two people who might have a clue what is happening into Alice's closet, the one place where it wasn't likely that the others would hear me, and showed them the test.
They both gasped and I let out another sob. "I'm not sure, but I think आप two know the most." I gasped, still crying.
They both had their hands on my face, both doing the strange silent cry वैंपायर do. I couldn't tell if it was out of joy या terror, but we were all crying.
I sighed. "It has been three weeks." I stared into their wide eyes, both brilliant gold.
Alice was panicking, "Well, why didn't आप tell us earlier?" she started thinking, "When did आप take this? When did आप do this? It's not like आप could have done it and had us not hear!" she answered that सवाल herself. "Where did आप go?"
"It was in your old room." I कहा to Mom, "We had gone to Grampa's when he was fishing with Billy." I stated, blushing slightly. "I thought I couldn't get pregnant! Mom, Carlisle was wrong. We thought it was O.K." I was yelling now, I bet the others knew. I felt a wave of relief wash over me, "Jasper, knock it off!" I yelled in the general direction of the door to Alice's room. "Well I guess everyone knows...let's just go outside." I sighed. "I'll need Carlisle's opinion anyway."
"O.K." I कहा after everyone was in on the plan to keep Jacob out of it until we were absolutely sure that I was really pregnant. Carlisle insisted on me going in for a ultrasound but I didn't want to, I was pretty sure I was pregnant. "So I'm pregnant...I'm ten and I'm pregnant...I'm such a weirdo!"
Alice was द्वारा my side at once. "Technically your 19, and you're not weird!" she gave me a face. "You're in love!" then her face went blank, We all recognized this expression and knew what it meant; there was a change in the immediate future. "Um, आप might want to get back and act normal, Jacob's coming."
I immediately ran out of the room I didn't want him to see me like this, tears streaming down my face, hair a mess, mascara everywhere; from me crying. I upstairs to Alice and Jaspers room. I went to their closet and look around, I found something that I might wear. Then I went to the bathroom to take a shower, though I knew the शावर, शॉवर was a प्रॉप and was rarely used I still sat there for all of thirty seconds, just gawking at the untouched white of the walls. Then I realized it was silly and took my shower.
When I was done and looking descant I sucked in a big breath and descended the long staircase, Jacob saw me and the instant he did his whole face lit up. It looked like just seeing me changed his day, from a bad one - one of stress, of anger - to the best दिन of his entire life. He ran up to me and scoped me up into his arms. "Where did आप go?" he yelled even though I was in his arms still. "I wake up and saw that आप went there, I thought आप ran away!"
I almost did, I thought. No it was wrong to make his दिन worse, I'd tell him about the baby after the thing with Sam got worked out. "I couldn't sleep." I कहा then tried to smile weakly and failed. I felt an odd twinge in my stomach and realized I was about to throw up. I jumped out of his arms and ran to the bathroom. He came after me, probably too stunned to say anything, and waited in the corner as I was violently sick.
After I was done he walked me back to the living room. "Are आप ok? Nessi, आप look really stressed." He swept his hand across my forehead wiping the sweat away. "Honey, if it's me, I can change. I'll do it right now. I'll do anything for you!"
I wanted to tell him about everything right now, to not have any secretes. I was about a महीना pregnant, if I was at all, I would start दिखा रहा है in a महीना या two at the most.
"Uh, Jake, I guess I need to talk to you...alone...at the cottage." I didn't want a audience if the news did slip out.
"Well, I have some good news...and some bad" I started as soon as we were in the privacy of the cottage.
"Start with the bad" he कहा sucking in a big breath.
"Well, आप know that night...when we stayed at Grandpa Swans..." I trailed off trying to make this less awkward than it had to be.
He put his hands on my face. "Honey, Its O.K. if आप don't want to keep that from Bella." He was totally clueless to what I was trying to tell him.
"Jacob Black, I'm pregnant." I confessed. That was when I snapped; I was suddenly shaking, sobbing, I slumped to the floor, my face in my hands.
"Wait, that's great!" He pried my hands from my face, my hair, still wet from the shower, sagged into my face as I looked up at him. "Wasn't that what we wanted?"
"Jake, I'm...I'm only ten! I want this in like ten years! Not now! I mean, I know I'm actually about 19, but, it's not like I can go around, getting PREGNANT!" my voice was getting higher edging towards hysteria.
"Hush, Nessi, If आप don't want this it can go away." He tried to reason with me, but I wouldn't be reasoned with.
"Yeah, 'cause it would be so much better to have an unborn dead baby inside of me!" I was dangerously close to getting angry with the one person I didn't want to be angry with. "I'm NOT getting an abortion Jake!"
I didn't know that I was shaking until he pried my hand off my face and put it on his. That was when I realized the room was shaking. "You need to get to bed, Missy!" He bent down farther to pick me up, I wouldn't go, I wrapped my arms around my legs and shoved myself into a ball, like a turtle, as Alice had कहा once. This was something I had learned from my mother, she did this when she got upset.
Eventually I feel asleep there. Jake had carried me back to our room sometime between then and about 3 am.; which is when I had to get up just to be even और worse sick than before. Jake-whom I woke up when I got up, just to noisily stumble down again as I hit my toe on the बिस्तर stand-held my hair the whole time, even though I insisted he leave. When we got back to बिस्तर he asked some सवालों about pregnancy-what makes आप throw up, how long it would take, if I would get all the cravings, and many others- most of them I was pretty sure he already knew, he just wanted me to know he cared. या maybe he just didn't want me to fall asleep in silence.
At the very end of all the सवालों Jacob asked me about the good news.
"Jake," I sighed "The good news was...you wanted this." I looked up at him, I was laying on him, my head in his folded legs, he was propped up on the टील, टीला, गहरा हरिताभ नीला blue head board.
"Aw, don't do that." I saw pain पार करना, क्रॉस his features, then he composed himself again. "Yeah, I did want this, but that was because I thought आप did too!" He sighed "I want it real bad, to have little monsters, runnin' around. I want to have a family.
"Well, I've never really had a family, mom died too early for me to remember her much. Rachel and Rebecca weren't ever around so I was usually alone with Billy. Don't get me wrong, I mean I प्यार my dad, but, with nobody else there to spread the work around the house, I was stuck doing it all. I can't help but to want to have a family that does everything together."
"Jacob Black! I..." I wanted to say I knew that story and that I didn't want to hear it but something about his facial expression stopped my thought dead. I didn't want to hurt him.
So it turned out I was comforting him. The one that needed comforting, me, was comforting the big, buff, handsome werewolf.
"Mmm, I guess it's time to go see my mom." I sighed after waking up for the third time in one night to vomit.
"We don't have to." He कहा and pulled me into the बिस्तर again. I knew what he wanted. I knew it was what I wanted. But the small reasonable part of my brain was yelling at me "You know आप can't, आप know आप can't, It'll be bad for the baby!" But that little voice in my head wasn't loud enough.
"O.K." Then we both laughed, stopped, looked into each other's eyes and violently kissed...officially ending that conversation.
~*~
TeMpEr
~*~
My phone rang interrupting Jake falling off the bed. I giggled, and got up. Then pulled Jacob up off the ground. I went to get my phone and read the "urgent text" from my mom. "is everything alright, Nessi?" then went to my इनबॉक्स and realized I had ten बिना उत्तर texts from her. I texted back hoping Jake had either crawled back into बिस्तर या not noticed my absence. "Mom, I'm fine...hungry...not thirsty...but, hungry...Jake and I got..." I tried to think of a word that fit. "Distracted" yeah that'll work. I bit my lip as I hit the send button, hoping she wouldn't ask what distracted meant.
"Well, baby, I'm sure starving. Do आप want to go hunt while, I make some breakfast?" Jake कहा yawning and grabbing my waist at the same time.
"Ah! Don't tickle me!!" I jumped away from him, then turned to एक प्रकार का जहाज़ him. "Yeah I'm starved...but I'm not really craving blood...eggs sound really, really good!" I hadn't eaten human खाना in a long time, maybe in about 5 years, या so, but I was really craving eggs.
"Oh, yeah, I guess I'll go make them." he said, then turned to the door and took a step, but to my surprise he turned back around and swooped me up into his arms and kissed me until we were stopped in the kitchen; my head was spinning when he plopped me down in one of the रसोई, रसोईघर chairs.
"Wow, I'm starved!" I कहा when he after he slid the hot eggs on a plastic plate. "This smells wonderful"
There was three quick taps on our door.
"Crap! That's Sam, what time is it?" Jake suddenly got all panicky.
"Um, I don't know. Why are आप being so weird?" Jacob wasn't usually paranoid about the pack. It was out of character for him.
"I'm just worried about you, Babe." He shot me an exasperated look, and shrugged his shoulders. "Well...Sam probably wants me for something." He reached for the door handle.
I fell to the floor, again sobbing. I didn't want Jake to destroy his life like I'd destroyed mine, my moms and dads, and even the rest of the Cullen's. I didn't just not want to; I needed not to, he was the only sane person I had in my life. If he लॉस्ट his strong sense of courage than that would be it with mine. "Jacob, tell me what Sam's upset about. Please?" I looked up at the werewolf I loved. He had his usual outfit on, a pair of Nike टेनिस and a pair of cutoff jeans. I sighed, he had a great body. That was part of the reason I loved him. But most of it was I belonged with him. That was why my mom and him had such a deep connection before I was born. Cause he and I were meant to be together. And that's why it's ok for me to be with him, cause we have such a deep physical connection as well as emotionally.
"Oh, Renesmee Clair Cullen, get your butt up and stop being such a whiney little baby I'm not gonna tell आप anything before I leave!" He appeared not hurt, but quite angry, to someone who hadn't stared up into that face for years and years, but to me all I saw was the agony that was covered up द्वारा the words that hurt my heart.
"Jacob आप know when आप do that आप put your big scary man face on I can see right through it, don't you?" I attempted to smile but I'm sure it just looked like a grimace.
"No. Actually I'm not sure about anything right now, my new wife is lying to me, Sam is P.M.S.ing या something, the pack is doubling in size and my best फ्रेंड्स are leaving." Now his face showed the hurt that was beneath the frustration.
"Paul and Embry are leaving? Baby, why didn't आप tell me?" I had no idea that he was going through that. If I did, I wouldn't have told him about the pregnancy. "Wait, they can't leave if they don't have an alpha with them. How does that work?"
"There going back to Sam's pack, I honestly don't have any idea why, but they are pissed at us for being a newlywed couple when they were just as bad. Hypocrites!" He slammed his fist into the wooden door, making the wood warp and bend to the shape of his fist. Paul and Embry had found a "mate" and imprinted, they had gotten married about a साल ago, same with most of the first 7 या so wolfs. They'd had a conjoined reception. It was a blast, there was great dancing and lots of food. She remembered Jake having to work quadruple the usual amount cause they'd gotten several days off running guard.
"It must be something important, Jake." I tried to rationalize. I tried to grasp any reason why he would lie to me. "Sam wouldn't have आप keep stuff from me."
"Nessi, honey, it was me that was keeping stuff from you. I don't want आप to stress. I want आप safe. I want आप mine." Jake kept getting और and और romantic with every pause. It hurt my दिल to see his face so deeply saddened. He knelt down and lifted my face with the touch of my chin. "Baby, I प्यार you. With all of my heart." He punctuated each word with a किस on my nose या forehead, except when he was done then he kissed me on the lips.
Words couldn't describe how patiently in प्यार I was at this moment. Only actions. So I made the किस और and और rough until we where a twisted up pile on the floor. It was him that broke the kiss, only to हटाइए down my jaw to my neck. I groped at his कमीज, शर्ट mumbling "Take it off..." then followed my own advice. I unbuttoned the flannel कमीज, शर्ट that I had on. I had a फीता tank चोटी, शीर्ष underneath, I could feel Jacobs heat through the thin fabric. He was everything. He was the blood pulsing through my veins, the thumping beat of my heart, the red color the sun caused behind my closed eyelids. He was the touch that made me forget almost all the stress. I needed to be touched; it made me feel like it was all going to be ok soon.
Almost. He made me feel good. Not great. Just good. His touch was like Advil on a tooth ache, numbs the pain but आप still know it's there. I still knew the stress was there, it just temporally went away... I was pregnant, there was no escaping that fact. I froze for a सेकंड as realized something was missing.
The feeling that my skin was sparkling was gone. Though there was early sunlight shining through windows in the living room, I wasn't sparkling. I could normally feel it ageist my skin. It was...not normal...but almost there. Like my skin didn't shimmer beneath the surface like it usually did. I shifted my weight. I was underneath Jake, so he noticed me get out of the mood . He immediately looked up with confused alarmed eyes. "Babe, not now." I कहा as I shoved him away and started to stand up.
*From Renesmee's view
~*~
sUrPrIsEs
~*~
"Jake, common!" It was Sam's gravelly, irritated voice that woke me up. With astonished pleasure I realized I was married to the man I loved, the man I couldn't live without, the man who, just months ago, had pledged his प्यार and devotion to me. I sighed eternally, that was the BEST honeymoon anyone ever had.
Then my head wrapped around what was happening. Sam was here, that meant he was going to suffer a replay of what happened last night to get my husband to help with whatever he need. He needed Jacob. But I did too, I wanted to never let go of him, to never have to leave this spot, Jakes warm arm wrapped around me, like a barrier, like he didn't want to leave either. That thought made me smile.
"Jacob Black, wake up!" I recognized the alpha order behind that tone. "Renesmee I know your awake and I realize that आप two were probably up real late last night, but I also know that its past 5 o'clock in the afternoon." That made my eyes pop open in shock.
"What? Oh, crap my mom is probably wondering where I am. If not her Alice definitely is!" I Jumped up, but then slumped back as the sleepless night hit me. "Whoa! Head rush!" That was when Jake awoke.
He yawned and sat up. " What's the matter Nessi?" I reached for him to give him a kiss, but noticed I was missing a vital thing, a thing that had Sam turn around and walk out of the room, my clothes were a torn up pile of rubble on the floor, so were Jakes. That was it I burst out laughing. Jake joined in.
Sam was walking into the hall. "Jake I'm going to give आप about thirty सेकंड्स to get fully clothed and descent, and आप too Nessi," He was really mad now, but he couldn't help laughing. "And आप better not get mad if आप catch me thinking about that later...It was really something!"
Jake got up and put a pair of fresh shorts on. I too, got up and got dress in something Alice would have never approved of, one of Jakes too-big tee-shirts, and we walked out into the hall, hand in hand. "UGH! I hate this!" Sam yelled kicking the wall, very angry again. "Jacob I need to talk to आप outside!" He led my 27 साल old husband outside, as Jacob walked out the door he looked back at me and winked.
I smiled and went to the bathroom to check the garbage for my secret, the reason why I hadn't been being truthful with Jake: a pregnancy test, a positive one. I sat there, on the toilet and started crying, so violently that my whole frame was shaking. In my sobbing I fell asleep. When I woke I wasn't in the bathroom anymore. I was in my bed. Curled up अगला to Jacob who was snoring and warm.
I silently got up and went to the bathroom I pulled out the phone I had stashed away, I knew the number but the yelling I heard from Sam made me think, was this right? Jake was putting his back to his pack, his family, and what was I giving him back? Nothing...I dialed the number doubtfully anyway.
"Hey, Renesmee," My mother sighed, I could tell she was worried.
"Mommy, I'm coming over in a minute." I was on the verge of crying, she could tell.
"Honey, what's the matter?" she was really concerned now. "What happened? Are आप and Jake O.K.?" She was panicking, I could picture her now, dad अगला to her, probably playing with her hair, and stress creasing her forehead. She started hyperventilating.
"Mom, Jakes fine." I sighed "See आप in a sec."
I hung up the silver phone and wiped the tears clean from my face, put on some water proof makeup, at least it wouldn't look like I was bawling when I got there. I got up from the floor and went to the window. I didn't see anything, but the picture of Sam yelling at Jacob was burned in my head. "Do आप think this GIRL is और important than the PACK?! There are 25 members now! James is only TEN!!! I'm not risking his life too!" Sam was accusing the वैंपायर for the outbreak in the were भेड़िया population. I couldn't take it anymore I ran though the forest I wasn't as fast as the full वैंपायर it was fast enough.
It wasn't long before I was bursting through the doors of my former home, where it seemed mom was the only one who knew. They all rushed in to hug me, as it was evident that I had been crying, but I didn't want to talk to anyone but Mom and Alice.
Alice was in on the whole thing with one touch of my face. I had learned how to push my odd gift on और than just my hands it now covered my upper body. I noticed my father, Edward Cullen, wasn't here. How odd. It didn't matter.
"I want to talk to my Mom and Alice only." I declared, after they all touched me and got the whole story...everything I wanted them to know.
I led the two people who might have a clue what is happening into Alice's closet, the one place where it wasn't likely that the others would hear me, and showed them the test.
They both gasped and I let out another sob. "I'm not sure, but I think आप two know the most." I gasped, still crying.
They both had their hands on my face, both doing the strange silent cry वैंपायर do. I couldn't tell if it was out of joy या terror, but we were all crying.
I sighed. "It has been three weeks." I stared into their wide eyes, both brilliant gold.
Alice was panicking, "Well, why didn't आप tell us earlier?" she started thinking, "When did आप take this? When did आप do this? It's not like आप could have done it and had us not hear!" she answered that सवाल herself. "Where did आप go?"
"It was in your old room." I कहा to Mom, "We had gone to Grampa's when he was fishing with Billy." I stated, blushing slightly. "I thought I couldn't get pregnant! Mom, Carlisle was wrong. We thought it was O.K." I was yelling now, I bet the others knew. I felt a wave of relief wash over me, "Jasper, knock it off!" I yelled in the general direction of the door to Alice's room. "Well I guess everyone knows...let's just go outside." I sighed. "I'll need Carlisle's opinion anyway."
"O.K." I कहा after everyone was in on the plan to keep Jacob out of it until we were absolutely sure that I was really pregnant. Carlisle insisted on me going in for a ultrasound but I didn't want to, I was pretty sure I was pregnant. "So I'm pregnant...I'm ten and I'm pregnant...I'm such a weirdo!"
Alice was द्वारा my side at once. "Technically your 19, and you're not weird!" she gave me a face. "You're in love!" then her face went blank, We all recognized this expression and knew what it meant; there was a change in the immediate future. "Um, आप might want to get back and act normal, Jacob's coming."
I immediately ran out of the room I didn't want him to see me like this, tears streaming down my face, hair a mess, mascara everywhere; from me crying. I upstairs to Alice and Jaspers room. I went to their closet and look around, I found something that I might wear. Then I went to the bathroom to take a shower, though I knew the शावर, शॉवर was a प्रॉप and was rarely used I still sat there for all of thirty seconds, just gawking at the untouched white of the walls. Then I realized it was silly and took my shower.
When I was done and looking descant I sucked in a big breath and descended the long staircase, Jacob saw me and the instant he did his whole face lit up. It looked like just seeing me changed his day, from a bad one - one of stress, of anger - to the best दिन of his entire life. He ran up to me and scoped me up into his arms. "Where did आप go?" he yelled even though I was in his arms still. "I wake up and saw that आप went there, I thought आप ran away!"
I almost did, I thought. No it was wrong to make his दिन worse, I'd tell him about the baby after the thing with Sam got worked out. "I couldn't sleep." I कहा then tried to smile weakly and failed. I felt an odd twinge in my stomach and realized I was about to throw up. I jumped out of his arms and ran to the bathroom. He came after me, probably too stunned to say anything, and waited in the corner as I was violently sick.
After I was done he walked me back to the living room. "Are आप ok? Nessi, आप look really stressed." He swept his hand across my forehead wiping the sweat away. "Honey, if it's me, I can change. I'll do it right now. I'll do anything for you!"
I wanted to tell him about everything right now, to not have any secretes. I was about a महीना pregnant, if I was at all, I would start दिखा रहा है in a महीना या two at the most.
"Uh, Jake, I guess I need to talk to you...alone...at the cottage." I didn't want a audience if the news did slip out.
"Well, I have some good news...and some bad" I started as soon as we were in the privacy of the cottage.
"Start with the bad" he कहा sucking in a big breath.
"Well, आप know that night...when we stayed at Grandpa Swans..." I trailed off trying to make this less awkward than it had to be.
He put his hands on my face. "Honey, Its O.K. if आप don't want to keep that from Bella." He was totally clueless to what I was trying to tell him.
"Jacob Black, I'm pregnant." I confessed. That was when I snapped; I was suddenly shaking, sobbing, I slumped to the floor, my face in my hands.
"Wait, that's great!" He pried my hands from my face, my hair, still wet from the shower, sagged into my face as I looked up at him. "Wasn't that what we wanted?"
"Jake, I'm...I'm only ten! I want this in like ten years! Not now! I mean, I know I'm actually about 19, but, it's not like I can go around, getting PREGNANT!" my voice was getting higher edging towards hysteria.
"Hush, Nessi, If आप don't want this it can go away." He tried to reason with me, but I wouldn't be reasoned with.
"Yeah, 'cause it would be so much better to have an unborn dead baby inside of me!" I was dangerously close to getting angry with the one person I didn't want to be angry with. "I'm NOT getting an abortion Jake!"
I didn't know that I was shaking until he pried my hand off my face and put it on his. That was when I realized the room was shaking. "You need to get to bed, Missy!" He bent down farther to pick me up, I wouldn't go, I wrapped my arms around my legs and shoved myself into a ball, like a turtle, as Alice had कहा once. This was something I had learned from my mother, she did this when she got upset.
Eventually I feel asleep there. Jake had carried me back to our room sometime between then and about 3 am.; which is when I had to get up just to be even और worse sick than before. Jake-whom I woke up when I got up, just to noisily stumble down again as I hit my toe on the बिस्तर stand-held my hair the whole time, even though I insisted he leave. When we got back to बिस्तर he asked some सवालों about pregnancy-what makes आप throw up, how long it would take, if I would get all the cravings, and many others- most of them I was pretty sure he already knew, he just wanted me to know he cared. या maybe he just didn't want me to fall asleep in silence.
At the very end of all the सवालों Jacob asked me about the good news.
"Jake," I sighed "The good news was...you wanted this." I looked up at him, I was laying on him, my head in his folded legs, he was propped up on the टील, टीला, गहरा हरिताभ नीला blue head board.
"Aw, don't do that." I saw pain पार करना, क्रॉस his features, then he composed himself again. "Yeah, I did want this, but that was because I thought आप did too!" He sighed "I want it real bad, to have little monsters, runnin' around. I want to have a family.
"Well, I've never really had a family, mom died too early for me to remember her much. Rachel and Rebecca weren't ever around so I was usually alone with Billy. Don't get me wrong, I mean I प्यार my dad, but, with nobody else there to spread the work around the house, I was stuck doing it all. I can't help but to want to have a family that does everything together."
"Jacob Black! I..." I wanted to say I knew that story and that I didn't want to hear it but something about his facial expression stopped my thought dead. I didn't want to hurt him.
So it turned out I was comforting him. The one that needed comforting, me, was comforting the big, buff, handsome werewolf.
"Mmm, I guess it's time to go see my mom." I sighed after waking up for the third time in one night to vomit.
"We don't have to." He कहा and pulled me into the बिस्तर again. I knew what he wanted. I knew it was what I wanted. But the small reasonable part of my brain was yelling at me "You know आप can't, आप know आप can't, It'll be bad for the baby!" But that little voice in my head wasn't loud enough.
"O.K." Then we both laughed, stopped, looked into each other's eyes and violently kissed...officially ending that conversation.
~*~
TeMpEr
~*~
My phone rang interrupting Jake falling off the bed. I giggled, and got up. Then pulled Jacob up off the ground. I went to get my phone and read the "urgent text" from my mom. "is everything alright, Nessi?" then went to my इनबॉक्स and realized I had ten बिना उत्तर texts from her. I texted back hoping Jake had either crawled back into बिस्तर या not noticed my absence. "Mom, I'm fine...hungry...not thirsty...but, hungry...Jake and I got..." I tried to think of a word that fit. "Distracted" yeah that'll work. I bit my lip as I hit the send button, hoping she wouldn't ask what distracted meant.
"Well, baby, I'm sure starving. Do आप want to go hunt while, I make some breakfast?" Jake कहा yawning and grabbing my waist at the same time.
"Ah! Don't tickle me!!" I jumped away from him, then turned to एक प्रकार का जहाज़ him. "Yeah I'm starved...but I'm not really craving blood...eggs sound really, really good!" I hadn't eaten human खाना in a long time, maybe in about 5 years, या so, but I was really craving eggs.
"Oh, yeah, I guess I'll go make them." he said, then turned to the door and took a step, but to my surprise he turned back around and swooped me up into his arms and kissed me until we were stopped in the kitchen; my head was spinning when he plopped me down in one of the रसोई, रसोईघर chairs.
"Wow, I'm starved!" I कहा when he after he slid the hot eggs on a plastic plate. "This smells wonderful"
There was three quick taps on our door.
"Crap! That's Sam, what time is it?" Jake suddenly got all panicky.
"Um, I don't know. Why are आप being so weird?" Jacob wasn't usually paranoid about the pack. It was out of character for him.
"I'm just worried about you, Babe." He shot me an exasperated look, and shrugged his shoulders. "Well...Sam probably wants me for something." He reached for the door handle.
I fell to the floor, again sobbing. I didn't want Jake to destroy his life like I'd destroyed mine, my moms and dads, and even the rest of the Cullen's. I didn't just not want to; I needed not to, he was the only sane person I had in my life. If he लॉस्ट his strong sense of courage than that would be it with mine. "Jacob, tell me what Sam's upset about. Please?" I looked up at the werewolf I loved. He had his usual outfit on, a pair of Nike टेनिस and a pair of cutoff jeans. I sighed, he had a great body. That was part of the reason I loved him. But most of it was I belonged with him. That was why my mom and him had such a deep connection before I was born. Cause he and I were meant to be together. And that's why it's ok for me to be with him, cause we have such a deep physical connection as well as emotionally.
"Oh, Renesmee Clair Cullen, get your butt up and stop being such a whiney little baby I'm not gonna tell आप anything before I leave!" He appeared not hurt, but quite angry, to someone who hadn't stared up into that face for years and years, but to me all I saw was the agony that was covered up द्वारा the words that hurt my heart.
"Jacob आप know when आप do that आप put your big scary man face on I can see right through it, don't you?" I attempted to smile but I'm sure it just looked like a grimace.
"No. Actually I'm not sure about anything right now, my new wife is lying to me, Sam is P.M.S.ing या something, the pack is doubling in size and my best फ्रेंड्स are leaving." Now his face showed the hurt that was beneath the frustration.
"Paul and Embry are leaving? Baby, why didn't आप tell me?" I had no idea that he was going through that. If I did, I wouldn't have told him about the pregnancy. "Wait, they can't leave if they don't have an alpha with them. How does that work?"
"There going back to Sam's pack, I honestly don't have any idea why, but they are pissed at us for being a newlywed couple when they were just as bad. Hypocrites!" He slammed his fist into the wooden door, making the wood warp and bend to the shape of his fist. Paul and Embry had found a "mate" and imprinted, they had gotten married about a साल ago, same with most of the first 7 या so wolfs. They'd had a conjoined reception. It was a blast, there was great dancing and lots of food. She remembered Jake having to work quadruple the usual amount cause they'd gotten several days off running guard.
"It must be something important, Jake." I tried to rationalize. I tried to grasp any reason why he would lie to me. "Sam wouldn't have आप keep stuff from me."
"Nessi, honey, it was me that was keeping stuff from you. I don't want आप to stress. I want आप safe. I want आप mine." Jake kept getting और and और romantic with every pause. It hurt my दिल to see his face so deeply saddened. He knelt down and lifted my face with the touch of my chin. "Baby, I प्यार you. With all of my heart." He punctuated each word with a किस on my nose या forehead, except when he was done then he kissed me on the lips.
Words couldn't describe how patiently in प्यार I was at this moment. Only actions. So I made the किस और and और rough until we where a twisted up pile on the floor. It was him that broke the kiss, only to हटाइए down my jaw to my neck. I groped at his कमीज, शर्ट mumbling "Take it off..." then followed my own advice. I unbuttoned the flannel कमीज, शर्ट that I had on. I had a फीता tank चोटी, शीर्ष underneath, I could feel Jacobs heat through the thin fabric. He was everything. He was the blood pulsing through my veins, the thumping beat of my heart, the red color the sun caused behind my closed eyelids. He was the touch that made me forget almost all the stress. I needed to be touched; it made me feel like it was all going to be ok soon.
Almost. He made me feel good. Not great. Just good. His touch was like Advil on a tooth ache, numbs the pain but आप still know it's there. I still knew the stress was there, it just temporally went away... I was pregnant, there was no escaping that fact. I froze for a सेकंड as realized something was missing.
The feeling that my skin was sparkling was gone. Though there was early sunlight shining through windows in the living room, I wasn't sparkling. I could normally feel it ageist my skin. It was...not normal...but almost there. Like my skin didn't shimmer beneath the surface like it usually did. I shifted my weight. I was underneath Jake, so he noticed me get out of the mood . He immediately looked up with confused alarmed eyes. "Babe, not now." I कहा as I shoved him away and started to stand up.
