AVGN: आप know what's really weird? That this game was actually capable of a 4-player mode using an accessory that allows four controllers to be connected to your निनटेंडो Entertainment System? Now, I can't imagine having four people playing this game. Who's gonna want to play this piece of shit? I'm lucky if I can get one other person! I have a better chance of cloning myself. (four Angry Video Game Nerds play and curse at the same time)
AVGN 1: Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait. I just cloned myself. I'm in a dream, I can do whatever I want, so why don't we all just stop playing this fucking game? So, the hell with that shit!
AVGN 2: Yeah! The hell with that... damn shit!
AVGN 3: The hell with that damn... fucking shit!
AVGN 4: THE HELL WITH THAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT!
AVGN 3: (nervously) Relax.
#2:
AVGN: (being forced द्वारा Jason Voorhees to make POSITIVE review of a really bad Friday the 13th game) What a wonderful game! The bare basics of left and right do not apply. And that's why this game is so great because it's free from all logic. Logic is for pussies!... Oh, and every great game has a map screen, and being that the game is mostly side scrolling, आप can't tell which direction you're supposed to be going. But, that's cool. It's cool. It makes it और challenging. I like that. Like when you're walking left but really heading to the right on the map? I प्यार figuring that shit out. ...I प्यार it. ... It's just great. (sees if Jason is there, and seeing he isn't speaks how he REALLY feels) LIKE PUKE UP A DONKEY'S ASS! WHAT A SHITLOAD OF MOTHERFUCKING BULLFUCK! I mean I'd rather eat snot and diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's dick, and if आप thought I was serious about this game -- [ Jason Voorhees comes out and grabs AVGN द्वारा the throat and threatens him with a machete) -- you're absolutely right because I was just kidding! I was just kidding! I swear! I swear to God, I was just kidding! I was just kidding!! It's not a shitload of fuck! It's NOT a shitload of fuck! (Jason lets AVGN go and leaves)
#3:
AVGN: This game is so hard, it would actually be easier to go outside in a thunderstorm and try to dodge rain. It would be easier to walk barefoot without your toes या heels touching the floor. It would be easier to pick fly shit out of pepper, while wearing boxing gloves! The fact that आप can get hit only once pretty much means that you're weaker than every other enemy in the game. HOW DO आप DIE FROM JUST TOUCHING A WALL!? I can understand if he's flying it like 200 miles per घंटा and he crashes into the wall! But the fact that he just touches the दीवार and dies is just ridiculous. I never read any of the comics, so I don't know what Silver Surfer's powers are, but isn't he supposed to be pretty strong? So why'd they make him into a wimp!? Why is he fucking up rubber ducks and weeping like a crybaby!? It's like some sort of fucking joke. Like, what if they had Bruce Lee tripping over his own shoelaces? It's a fucking insult! This game should have been classic! But instead, it's worthless! It's as worthless as this fucking LJN poster I have back here! MAN, I WOULD JUST PISS AND SHIT ALL OVER THIS FUCKING GAME!!! IN FACT, JUST THINKING ABOUT IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE HAVING AN ANAL EVACUATION!!! (drinks beer) Fuck! (Takes the game out of the NES and throws it at the wall).
#4:
AVGN: Somewhere up here, there's a rope which, I don't know if it's important या not. आप blow up this gym locker या whatever it is and he says, "I'd have to be desperate to tie that on and jump off! No, thanks!" Are आप kidding me? Have आप ever had a video game character talk back to आप and say, "No, I'm not gonna do that!"? Going back to Mario again, what if Mario just कहा "You know, I'm really not feeling up to jumping over that platform. No thanks." This is ridiculous. I mean, he won't climb down with a rope, but he'll jump out a window and fucking kill himself?!
#5:
AVGN: So, when the game's over, the screen goes black, like a Mortal Kombat fatality. And the girl kicks आप in the butt. How violent, she kicks आप in the rear. Now I can take bodies getting slashed apart with the chainsaw, but a kick in the ass? That's fucking hardcore. Fuck this game. What a piece of shit.
#6:
AVGN: Some call it a platformer game, some call it an adventure game. I classify it as a "Where the fuck do I go?" kind of game. Yeah, one of those.
#7:
AVGN: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a shitty game!
#8:
AVGN: (after finishing the car-carrying stage 4) So I get to the goal, and guess what's next? Seriously, I want आप to just take a guess what comes after this. और rings. Yeah. What kind of game is this!? Is this some sort of insanity test!? Well, I'm done. I'm sorry, but that's all I can do. This game doesn't even qualify as shit! It's like the equivalent of shit taking a shit! This is unspeakably, shockingly bad. It's sickeningly loathsome! It's a fucking suffering to the mind! It's a bunch of fuck and it doesn't belong on this planet! Somebody's gotta take care of it! This is a job for the fucking Nerd! (unbuttons his कमीज, शर्ट to reveal a blue सुपरमैन shirt. Flies up to the sun and tosses the game into into it while a rock version of सुपरमैन Theme plays.)
#9:
AVGN: आप know, there's been many games based on the Angry Video Game Nerd... which is me. Yeah, all these years while I've been busy playing shitty games, people've been making games about myself. There's been so many games about me, I can't even keep up. Unlike the majority of games I've ripped apart, these ones were made द्वारा independent game developers, usually single handedly, all द्वारा their selves, and hopefully they will have growing careers and aspire to make better games than a whole company of Laughin' Joking Numbnuts ever could. (He's referring to the game publisher, LJN.) Another thing that makes these games different from the games I usually play, is that I have to play them on a computer. (The Nerd looks at the Commodore 64.) Hmm... (He shrugs his shoulders.) Well, anyway, the first AVGN game I'm gonna look at is: The Angry Video Game द्वारा Eric Ruth. This was the first AVGN game that ever came to my attention back in 2008. आप might be wondering: what took me so long to get around to it? Well, the answer is simple: That's how long it took to load it on my Commodore 64!
#10:
AVGN: (Commenting on the game over screen) That's ingenious. That's the best game over screen I ever saw. For real! I'm actually being dead serious. Dead fucking serious. That's brilliant, right? "You and your फ्रेंड्स are dead. Game over". It's priceless. Like, I can't believe it! Isn't that a mean thing to say to kids? Nobody ever dies in Nintendo. They're either "defeated" या they turn into an item and like float away. But here comes a game like Friday the 13th that just cuts the bullshit, shows some balls, comes flat out and says "You're fucking dead. And your friends, too." Beautiful. (Jason nods in agreement) And what if there was a sequel? It would have to say something even worse. Like, I got it. I got a good idea what it should say. It should say:
You're Dead.
Your फ्रेंड्स Are Dead.
Your Family's Dead.
Your Fucking Pets Are Being Skinned Alive.
Your Mom's A Fucking Whore.
आप Suck At Life.
The Whole World Hates You.
You're Going To Hell.
Live With It.
Game Over.
I only read the first six so far.. So only can make 5
#1: RICK GRIMES
Rick is my प्रिय character in the comics, he's "okay" in the show.. I'm very mixed about Andrew Lincoln.
A lot of times, his fake American acent just sounds like it's trying to hard..
In the comic. He's just a fucking badass, period..
And lets not forget that speech
RICK: I killed डेक्स्टर to protect us! He was threatening to throw us out of this place.. OUR HOME!.. How humane would it of been out there!? How many people did we lose out there!?.. I saw an opening, I killed him.. I knew आप people would be scared if you...
continue reading...
#1: RICK GRIMES
Rick is my प्रिय character in the comics, he's "okay" in the show.. I'm very mixed about Andrew Lincoln.
A lot of times, his fake American acent just sounds like it's trying to hard..
In the comic. He's just a fucking badass, period..
And lets not forget that speech
RICK: I killed डेक्स्टर to protect us! He was threatening to throw us out of this place.. OUR HOME!.. How humane would it of been out there!? How many people did we lose out there!?.. I saw an opening, I killed him.. I knew आप people would be scared if you...
Well.. I'll say Sword was right about it being sad again.
But that would lead too him say
"I told आप so"
And I'll say
"Don't have too rub it in"
And he'll say
"Yes I do"
And than he'll pour coffee onto me.
And I'll say
"Dick"
And he'll say
"Thank you"
either way.. I'm enjoying the funny episode while I can. Before I have too start crying again.
This दिखाना is doing anything it can too depress us. Like it's the shows job.. Too kick us in the balls and say "Life sucks, deal with it"
The दिखाना is an asshole.
But that would lead too him say
"I told आप so"
And I'll say
"Don't have too rub it in"
And he'll say
"Yes I do"
And than he'll pour coffee onto me.
And I'll say
"Dick"
And he'll say
"Thank you"
either way.. I'm enjoying the funny episode while I can. Before I have too start crying again.
This दिखाना is doing anything it can too depress us. Like it's the shows job.. Too kick us in the balls and say "Life sucks, deal with it"
The दिखाना is an asshole.
So.. Here's another review..
The strory Nina reads is weird.. Especially the way she reads it.
I'd say I understand it now. But.. I don't.
This so is so confusing.
But hey. It's like THE ACCOUNTANT. I had no idea what exactly happened, just watched for the gun fights, and was happy.
This दिखाना has kind of animation.. All ऐनीमे have that sort of odd animation, where people look like pictures, not normal people at times.
But hey.. Good episodes I guess.. The hitman seems dead. Guess now Johan actually has too "do stuff", witch must suck for him xD
The strory Nina reads is weird.. Especially the way she reads it.
I'd say I understand it now. But.. I don't.
This so is so confusing.
But hey. It's like THE ACCOUNTANT. I had no idea what exactly happened, just watched for the gun fights, and was happy.
This दिखाना has kind of animation.. All ऐनीमे have that sort of odd animation, where people look like pictures, not normal people at times.
But hey.. Good episodes I guess.. The hitman seems dead. Guess now Johan actually has too "do stuff", witch must suck for him xD
I think I seen episode 9 before.
Well, at least the scene where Todd discovers the truth of his rock opera.
It's funnier now that I know what he's actually talking about.
Aaron paul's voice is so funny when having a character like Todd trying to actually "think".
And the fact it WASN'T revenge, is too funny.
I प्यार आप Todd..
Anyway.. The दिखाना is certainly a lot deeper now.
Sometimes it's a good thing.. But sometimes it's a depressing thing.. Mixes between those things.
We're almost done season 1 anyway, अगला week शामिल होइए me for the conclusion of season 1..
Well, at least the scene where Todd discovers the truth of his rock opera.
It's funnier now that I know what he's actually talking about.
Aaron paul's voice is so funny when having a character like Todd trying to actually "think".
And the fact it WASN'T revenge, is too funny.
I प्यार आप Todd..
Anyway.. The दिखाना is certainly a lot deeper now.
Sometimes it's a good thing.. But sometimes it's a depressing thing.. Mixes between those things.
We're almost done season 1 anyway, अगला week शामिल होइए me for the conclusion of season 1..
sorry for the delay.. I thought I was sick yesterday. But turns out it's indigestion या something.
Anyway.. Guess I got my wish.
Something is actually "happening" now.
I thought THE BABY would lead to the दिखाना becoming my exciting, but turns out it's that other guy. Whatever his name is. The bodyguard that betrayed the guy in episode 21.
As usual, I don't really have much to say. But it did convince me to rewatch episode 4.
I think that's my favourite episode so far. It reminds me why I'm watching it, moments like episode 4.
या even that shootout in episode 21.
Oh well, hopefully this means I'm done the moments of "convincing myself" to keep watching this show. And actually have things happen now. :)
Anyway.. Guess I got my wish.
Something is actually "happening" now.
I thought THE BABY would lead to the दिखाना becoming my exciting, but turns out it's that other guy. Whatever his name is. The bodyguard that betrayed the guy in episode 21.
As usual, I don't really have much to say. But it did convince me to rewatch episode 4.
I think that's my favourite episode so far. It reminds me why I'm watching it, moments like episode 4.
या even that shootout in episode 21.
Oh well, hopefully this means I'm done the moments of "convincing myself" to keep watching this show. And actually have things happen now. :)
#1: KORN:
When आप think about, it, a name like Korn dosen't really make आप think of फूल and sunshine xD.
And the songs prove this.
I प्यार them (obviously). But these songs are गाना about murder, possible necrophilia, sex addictions, rape, lying, just about EVERY bad thing there is..
#2: DISTURBED:
The name probably says it all xD.
#3: EMINEM:
If these songs really ARE of his life, it certainly makes us realize, OUR problems (chores, going to work in the morning), aren't SHIT!
#4: गुलाबी FLOYD:
These songs are a lot darker then people might think..
#5: SLIPKNOT:
With a album called "all hope is lost" how much happiness would one be expecting!?
When आप think about, it, a name like Korn dosen't really make आप think of फूल and sunshine xD.
And the songs prove this.
I प्यार them (obviously). But these songs are गाना about murder, possible necrophilia, sex addictions, rape, lying, just about EVERY bad thing there is..
#2: DISTURBED:
The name probably says it all xD.
#3: EMINEM:
If these songs really ARE of his life, it certainly makes us realize, OUR problems (chores, going to work in the morning), aren't SHIT!
#4: गुलाबी FLOYD:
These songs are a lot darker then people might think..
#5: SLIPKNOT:
With a album called "all hope is lost" how much happiness would one be expecting!?
#1: FREDDY KRUEGER SAVES MR MACKEY:
Freddy rescues Mackey from molestation, while having the excuse to use one of his cheesy one liners. The irony of this is that is that the REAL Freddy Krueger murdered child with pleasure, and was a pedophile in the remake..
#2: KORN:
Korn becomes, well... Corn.
#3: KEEPING KENNY ALIVE:
The one time they chose to do so, is when he is better OFF dead. He's brain dead, and needed in heaven to stop an over the चोटी, शीर्ष war against Satan..
#4: CARTMAN:
In the Family Guy episode Cartman tells Kyle
"That's a cartoon! Millions of people watch it! How would आप feel, Kyle, if there was a cartoon on टेलीविज़न that made fun of Jews all the time?! Huh?!"
Freddy rescues Mackey from molestation, while having the excuse to use one of his cheesy one liners. The irony of this is that is that the REAL Freddy Krueger murdered child with pleasure, and was a pedophile in the remake..
#2: KORN:
Korn becomes, well... Corn.
#3: KEEPING KENNY ALIVE:
The one time they chose to do so, is when he is better OFF dead. He's brain dead, and needed in heaven to stop an over the चोटी, शीर्ष war against Satan..
#4: CARTMAN:
In the Family Guy episode Cartman tells Kyle
"That's a cartoon! Millions of people watch it! How would आप feel, Kyle, if there was a cartoon on टेलीविज़न that made fun of Jews all the time?! Huh?!"
