“02…..09…..10” I repeated this over and over again in my head as i turned my locker lock. My locker was full of pictures of Matthew and I from like seventh grade a few हाल का photos; some band pics, bible verses, आप know the common things in a teen’s locker.
In science I couldn’t keep myself awake if my life depended on it. Every time I would try to keep my eyes open, my head would fall. And every time I tried to keep my head up, my eyes would close. My lack of energy is probably because Matt and I stayed up til about three talking about his brothers and how his dad got a new girlfriend so fast. His family is kinda all over the place. Some are atheist and then some are die-hard Christians. Some are the most forgiving people आप will ever meet and others….not so much. It doesn’t really matter to me because I प्यार both sides of his family. But I know how hard it is for him.
“Hey Jazzy.” I heard from a distance. It was a girl from my science class, Amber Scott I think is her name.
“Forgot to give आप this in science.” She कहा with a warm smile and handed me an envelope that read ‘Jazzy’.
“Umm thanks Amber, But what is it?” The smile left her face and an evil grin replaced it. Then her voice dropped to a whisper. “My house. Party. Eight o’clock.” She winked at me and gracefully walked away.
I’m confused. She is always so sweet. I think of the party and Amber Scott, I’m thinking चाय party. It guess it just goes to दिखाना that not everyone is who they say they are.
In study hall I had time to read the invite. It wasn’t covered in girly लेखन या pretty flowers. I’m और confused. It was Thursday and I had nothing to do tonight. I never went to parties alone because that’s just pathetic, I either went with the current BF या Matt. I’m rid’n solo right now so I’m going with Matt. But I don’t actually know if Amber would want Matt there because of the whole cafeteria incident the other day. I’m just gonna text her and see if this invite can count for an escort.
When the घंटी, बेल rang at 3:15 I was in kinda of a rush to get home.So I forgot to text Amber.It was six already I figured I might as well text her to see if Matt going was okay. (It better be cause I already told him he was going.) A took a while for her to respond but when she finally did she कहा that it was no problem that Matt was going. She कहा she kind of predicted I would go with him anyway. I took that kind of offense. It’s like she’s saying I’m predictable. I don’t think I’m predictable. I’m pretty spontaneous. Whatever.
At exactly 7:45 Matthew was at my house. I gotta admit, he did look pretty cute. It wasn’t that type of guy who wore eyeliner या skinny jeans या even Vans. But he also isn’t the guy would see sagg’n his pants and rapping along to Lil Wayne. He may have looked “out-of-style-” to all the freaks roaming around the mall these days but to me he looked normal and cute. Me on the other hand did like to wear eyeliner and skinny jeans and Vans. My hair was perfectly short and curled, my bangs straightened. I wore my प्रिय band t-shirt. Some dark denim and black checkered Vans.
“You look pretty.” He had a satisfied smile.
“And so do you.” I laughed a little and smiled back.
“You ready to go to the first party of the semester?”
“Yup, this is the beginning of it all.”
We both smiled.
In science I couldn’t keep myself awake if my life depended on it. Every time I would try to keep my eyes open, my head would fall. And every time I tried to keep my head up, my eyes would close. My lack of energy is probably because Matt and I stayed up til about three talking about his brothers and how his dad got a new girlfriend so fast. His family is kinda all over the place. Some are atheist and then some are die-hard Christians. Some are the most forgiving people आप will ever meet and others….not so much. It doesn’t really matter to me because I प्यार both sides of his family. But I know how hard it is for him.
“Hey Jazzy.” I heard from a distance. It was a girl from my science class, Amber Scott I think is her name.
“Forgot to give आप this in science.” She कहा with a warm smile and handed me an envelope that read ‘Jazzy’.
“Umm thanks Amber, But what is it?” The smile left her face and an evil grin replaced it. Then her voice dropped to a whisper. “My house. Party. Eight o’clock.” She winked at me and gracefully walked away.
I’m confused. She is always so sweet. I think of the party and Amber Scott, I’m thinking चाय party. It guess it just goes to दिखाना that not everyone is who they say they are.
In study hall I had time to read the invite. It wasn’t covered in girly लेखन या pretty flowers. I’m और confused. It was Thursday and I had nothing to do tonight. I never went to parties alone because that’s just pathetic, I either went with the current BF या Matt. I’m rid’n solo right now so I’m going with Matt. But I don’t actually know if Amber would want Matt there because of the whole cafeteria incident the other day. I’m just gonna text her and see if this invite can count for an escort.
When the घंटी, बेल rang at 3:15 I was in kinda of a rush to get home.So I forgot to text Amber.It was six already I figured I might as well text her to see if Matt going was okay. (It better be cause I already told him he was going.) A took a while for her to respond but when she finally did she कहा that it was no problem that Matt was going. She कहा she kind of predicted I would go with him anyway. I took that kind of offense. It’s like she’s saying I’m predictable. I don’t think I’m predictable. I’m pretty spontaneous. Whatever.
At exactly 7:45 Matthew was at my house. I gotta admit, he did look pretty cute. It wasn’t that type of guy who wore eyeliner या skinny jeans या even Vans. But he also isn’t the guy would see sagg’n his pants and rapping along to Lil Wayne. He may have looked “out-of-style-” to all the freaks roaming around the mall these days but to me he looked normal and cute. Me on the other hand did like to wear eyeliner and skinny jeans and Vans. My hair was perfectly short and curled, my bangs straightened. I wore my प्रिय band t-shirt. Some dark denim and black checkered Vans.
“You look pretty.” He had a satisfied smile.
“And so do you.” I laughed a little and smiled back.
“You ready to go to the first party of the semester?”
“Yup, this is the beginning of it all.”
We both smiled.
i am looking for the star, our star, but this time i am alone, आप aren't standing on the port अगला to me..
i feel i am लॉस्ट now, i can't find this star. आप remeber what did i descoverd that night? i found only one तारा, स्टार in the whole Portsaid's sky..
आप didn't belive that one तारा, स्टार is exist.. आप said: which star? the sky is felling of the stars!
i thought आप was kidding, i was very sure that there's one star.. yeah, sure as the blind is sure that there's nothing around him!
now i see what आप were talking about, i loved you, so i couldn't see anyone else but you..
आप was my heart's only love..
it was Portsaid's only star..
but आप .. आप didn't point to the same star, आप saw all the stars but mine..
now i am alone, seeing many stars, can't find my star, am i blind? या ..was i blind?
twinkle, twinkle, my littel star..
Portsaid's only star, which one is you?
_________________________________________________
*Portsaid is an Egyptian port.
i feel i am लॉस्ट now, i can't find this star. आप remeber what did i descoverd that night? i found only one तारा, स्टार in the whole Portsaid's sky..
आप didn't belive that one तारा, स्टार is exist.. आप said: which star? the sky is felling of the stars!
i thought आप was kidding, i was very sure that there's one star.. yeah, sure as the blind is sure that there's nothing around him!
now i see what आप were talking about, i loved you, so i couldn't see anyone else but you..
आप was my heart's only love..
it was Portsaid's only star..
but आप .. आप didn't point to the same star, आप saw all the stars but mine..
now i am alone, seeing many stars, can't find my star, am i blind? या ..was i blind?
twinkle, twinkle, my littel star..
Portsaid's only star, which one is you?
_________________________________________________
*Portsaid is an Egyptian port.
आप hurt me,
Both externally,
And internally,
आप twist a pin into my heart,
And gather my flowing blood onto a cart.
आप think आप can hurt me,
Just because आप gave me money,
आप think आप can make my life like hell,
Just because I am the one who made आप fell.
I wish आप have never दिया birth to me,
I wish I can expose what आप are for all to see.
I hate you,
And I hate आप to the heart's core,
I want आप to hear my vengeful call.
I respect आप because I must,
Yet आप blame me for not giving आप my trust.
How can I love, या trust, a person like you?
Who makes me feel I'm feebler than cotton wool?
I am forever imprisoned to आप द्वारा blood,
For as long as I live,
The relation between us cannot be cut,
But soon I will take my leave,
Hoping that forever आप will grieve
Both externally,
And internally,
आप twist a pin into my heart,
And gather my flowing blood onto a cart.
आप think आप can hurt me,
Just because आप gave me money,
आप think आप can make my life like hell,
Just because I am the one who made आप fell.
I wish आप have never दिया birth to me,
I wish I can expose what आप are for all to see.
I hate you,
And I hate आप to the heart's core,
I want आप to hear my vengeful call.
I respect आप because I must,
Yet आप blame me for not giving आप my trust.
How can I love, या trust, a person like you?
Who makes me feel I'm feebler than cotton wool?
I am forever imprisoned to आप द्वारा blood,
For as long as I live,
The relation between us cannot be cut,
But soon I will take my leave,
Hoping that forever आप will grieve