The अगला week was spent somewhat like that first day. We went to the park almost everyday. It wasn't that bad actually. It was kind of funny to see Jezebel and and Aspen run around like psychos. I was actually starting to warm up to Scout as well. It was cool to just talk to someone my age that was a girl too. I never had the chance to do that at school या home. I really like Aspen too. She's very mature for her age, when she wants to be. She has no problem goofing around like a little kid. She likes to talk about a bunch of things. I've become very close with her too.
Then soon came the Sunday before school.
"You'll be fine, I promise," Scout कहा as we got into our beds. I shrugged. "I'll introduce आप to all my friends. We'll help आप get around," she smiled.
"Thanks," I smiled back. To be honest, that didn't make me feel any better, but it was still a nice gesture. I had no idea what this school was like; I'd definitely be on alert the whole time. Scout seemed to see my hesitation.
"Seriously, Harley," she laughed. "What, आप think someone's gonna shoot आप या something?" Really? I've never heard that one before honestly... but yes, I wouldn't out it past them. I had been shot at before-- द्वारा someone else too; not just shooting myself in the leg on accident. Not the best experience I'd ever had...
I कहा goodnight to Scout, and rolled over, turning my back to her. She turned off the lamp, and I almost instantly fell into a deep sleep.
The अगला morning, I wasn't exactly ecstatic to be getting up at 5 in the morning. Scout advised me that that would be best, seeing as four other people needed to take a शावर, शॉवर as well, and there's only so much hot water. Scout got ready before me, and while she showered and got dressed, I ate and got my stuff together. Once she was done, we switched. I took a quick hot shower, not wanting to hold up anyone else. I noticed the scar on my leg was getting better, it was just a puckered गुलाबी line now. It hadn't been too bad in the first place.
I got dressed in my other pair of baggy black pants, with a red shredded tshirt with a black tanktop underneath.
"Harley! We're gonna be late!" Scout called from the kitchen. I hesitated, then decided it'd help me keep peace of mind. I grabbed my box and opened it, deciding. I decided the gun would be safest if needed. I put it in my pocket, then put my box under my बिस्तर again. I ran out to the kitchen, grabbing a messenger bag that Gail कहा I could use for school. She कहा it used to belong to a girl named Hayley; she got adopted about a साल ago.
We walked to school, which I was used to. We came to the high school a while later; it was smaller than my other school. There were students everywhere, talking and laughing, some people even fighting. The whole place made me jumpy.
"Scout!" someone shouted behind me. My hand instinctively went to my pocket, gripping the gun handle. I stopped once I saw that it must've been one of Scout's friends. A girl ran up and hugged her. She had blond hair, even blonder than Scout's. She didn't look like a natural blond though. She pulled away.
"Ohmygosh! Why didn't आप hang out with me all spring break?!" the girl squeaked. I didn't like her already.
"Sorry. I was kind of busy..." she eyed me, smiling. She gestured to me, and the girl looked at me surprised that I was with her. "This is Harley. She's new at Gail's house. Harley, this is Felicity." I pursed my lips and waved once. Felicity seemed to look me over. अगला to Scout I looked so... different. Scout was so... friendly and open. I was so shy and introverted. She wore white jeans and a गुलाबी tanktop. I was wearing all red and black; not that I minded.
"Hi," Felicity said. The tone in her voice told me she really didn't give a fuck, and she was trying way too hard to seem friendly. With Scout, it was just a natural thing to be nice to everyone.
"Hi," I muttered. Another girl skipped to Scout's side. She was of Asian descent, and had long, beautiful dark hair. A guy followed behind her, who had dirty blond spiky hair. Scout introduced me to them as well. The girl was Bambi and the boy was Forest. They were a lot nicer than Felicity. I liked them already. Then Trace showed up, and he bragged about how he met me before everyone else.
"Oh yeah, Harley and I go way back!" he laughed. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. I shied away from his touch and jumped back a step. He didn't seem to notice how much I hated that, and he just laughed it off. Scout seemed to notice though. She mouthed "sorry." I shrugged and folded my arms, holding them close to my body.
I felt so awkward and out of place here. Everyone else was so loud and outgoing; they knew each other well. If I hadn't been Scout's foster "sister" probably none of these people would even dare to talk to me. It was kind of a bittersweet irony... These people probably would never be my true friends, but they were one of the closest things I'd ever had to friends. The घंटी, बेल rang, and the students started to file into the school.
"C'mon," Scout कहा in a welcoming voice. I followed her up the steps into the school.
***
We got my schedule, and I had four out of nine classes with Scout. I had two classes with Bambi, which I didn't mind; she's pretty nice. I had one class द्वारा myself, and two classes had Felicity and Forest in them. The only time I saw all of them was during lunch... that is if Scout wanted me there.
Lunch came eventually, the third to last class of the day. I was starving. I felt kind of alienated when Scout brought me to the table; everyone was laughing and talking to Scout. I sat down awkwardly अगला to her, hoping to seem invisible, but being scared to. I'd never really tried to fit in, and I never did, but I never wanted to belong so bad. I felt like I needed to be accepted द्वारा these kids.
"So Harley, how do आप like living at Gail's?" Bambi asked. Scout turned to me expectantly.
"Uh, it's nice I guess..." I said. I did like it, but thinking about my brothers at घर made me a little uneasy.
"Where'd आप live before?" Bambi asked, intrigued for some reason.
"Uh, in the city with my brothers." Everyone around the तालिका, टेबल seemed kind of shocked.
"Isn't it dangerous in the city?" Forest asked. "My parents won't let me go there. Heck, they don't like goin' there themselves!"
"It's not so bad," I shrugged. "as long as आप know your way around."
"See, this girl's tough!" Trace laughed. I wasn't sure if that was sarcasm या a compliment. Scout laughed. From the corner of my eye I saw Felicity roll her eyes.
***
I did survive my first दिन of school unscathed. Not many people get to say that for high school. I may have been really jumpy most of the day, but I didn't feel the need to pull out my gun on anyone today. That was a first. At my old school I almost did one time. The kid was asking for it though. Good thing the principal got him out of my way या I would've blown his head off probably. Anyways, today was good to say the least.
"How was your day?" Gail asked. Scout shrugged.
"I thought it was ok. What'd आप think of your first day, Harley?"
"It was ok. Your फ्रेंड्स are nice." Except Felicity.
"They are," Scout कहा lovingly.
"Well, I'm glad आप had a nice day," Gail said. "But now since आप girls were almost late this morning, आप can catch up on your morning chores." She smirked and went to go put Bride down for her nap. Scout and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.
Then soon came the Sunday before school.
"You'll be fine, I promise," Scout कहा as we got into our beds. I shrugged. "I'll introduce आप to all my friends. We'll help आप get around," she smiled.
"Thanks," I smiled back. To be honest, that didn't make me feel any better, but it was still a nice gesture. I had no idea what this school was like; I'd definitely be on alert the whole time. Scout seemed to see my hesitation.
"Seriously, Harley," she laughed. "What, आप think someone's gonna shoot आप या something?" Really? I've never heard that one before honestly... but yes, I wouldn't out it past them. I had been shot at before-- द्वारा someone else too; not just shooting myself in the leg on accident. Not the best experience I'd ever had...
I कहा goodnight to Scout, and rolled over, turning my back to her. She turned off the lamp, and I almost instantly fell into a deep sleep.
The अगला morning, I wasn't exactly ecstatic to be getting up at 5 in the morning. Scout advised me that that would be best, seeing as four other people needed to take a शावर, शॉवर as well, and there's only so much hot water. Scout got ready before me, and while she showered and got dressed, I ate and got my stuff together. Once she was done, we switched. I took a quick hot shower, not wanting to hold up anyone else. I noticed the scar on my leg was getting better, it was just a puckered गुलाबी line now. It hadn't been too bad in the first place.
I got dressed in my other pair of baggy black pants, with a red shredded tshirt with a black tanktop underneath.
"Harley! We're gonna be late!" Scout called from the kitchen. I hesitated, then decided it'd help me keep peace of mind. I grabbed my box and opened it, deciding. I decided the gun would be safest if needed. I put it in my pocket, then put my box under my बिस्तर again. I ran out to the kitchen, grabbing a messenger bag that Gail कहा I could use for school. She कहा it used to belong to a girl named Hayley; she got adopted about a साल ago.
We walked to school, which I was used to. We came to the high school a while later; it was smaller than my other school. There were students everywhere, talking and laughing, some people even fighting. The whole place made me jumpy.
"Scout!" someone shouted behind me. My hand instinctively went to my pocket, gripping the gun handle. I stopped once I saw that it must've been one of Scout's friends. A girl ran up and hugged her. She had blond hair, even blonder than Scout's. She didn't look like a natural blond though. She pulled away.
"Ohmygosh! Why didn't आप hang out with me all spring break?!" the girl squeaked. I didn't like her already.
"Sorry. I was kind of busy..." she eyed me, smiling. She gestured to me, and the girl looked at me surprised that I was with her. "This is Harley. She's new at Gail's house. Harley, this is Felicity." I pursed my lips and waved once. Felicity seemed to look me over. अगला to Scout I looked so... different. Scout was so... friendly and open. I was so shy and introverted. She wore white jeans and a गुलाबी tanktop. I was wearing all red and black; not that I minded.
"Hi," Felicity said. The tone in her voice told me she really didn't give a fuck, and she was trying way too hard to seem friendly. With Scout, it was just a natural thing to be nice to everyone.
"Hi," I muttered. Another girl skipped to Scout's side. She was of Asian descent, and had long, beautiful dark hair. A guy followed behind her, who had dirty blond spiky hair. Scout introduced me to them as well. The girl was Bambi and the boy was Forest. They were a lot nicer than Felicity. I liked them already. Then Trace showed up, and he bragged about how he met me before everyone else.
"Oh yeah, Harley and I go way back!" he laughed. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. I shied away from his touch and jumped back a step. He didn't seem to notice how much I hated that, and he just laughed it off. Scout seemed to notice though. She mouthed "sorry." I shrugged and folded my arms, holding them close to my body.
I felt so awkward and out of place here. Everyone else was so loud and outgoing; they knew each other well. If I hadn't been Scout's foster "sister" probably none of these people would even dare to talk to me. It was kind of a bittersweet irony... These people probably would never be my true friends, but they were one of the closest things I'd ever had to friends. The घंटी, बेल rang, and the students started to file into the school.
"C'mon," Scout कहा in a welcoming voice. I followed her up the steps into the school.
***
We got my schedule, and I had four out of nine classes with Scout. I had two classes with Bambi, which I didn't mind; she's pretty nice. I had one class द्वारा myself, and two classes had Felicity and Forest in them. The only time I saw all of them was during lunch... that is if Scout wanted me there.
Lunch came eventually, the third to last class of the day. I was starving. I felt kind of alienated when Scout brought me to the table; everyone was laughing and talking to Scout. I sat down awkwardly अगला to her, hoping to seem invisible, but being scared to. I'd never really tried to fit in, and I never did, but I never wanted to belong so bad. I felt like I needed to be accepted द्वारा these kids.
"So Harley, how do आप like living at Gail's?" Bambi asked. Scout turned to me expectantly.
"Uh, it's nice I guess..." I said. I did like it, but thinking about my brothers at घर made me a little uneasy.
"Where'd आप live before?" Bambi asked, intrigued for some reason.
"Uh, in the city with my brothers." Everyone around the तालिका, टेबल seemed kind of shocked.
"Isn't it dangerous in the city?" Forest asked. "My parents won't let me go there. Heck, they don't like goin' there themselves!"
"It's not so bad," I shrugged. "as long as आप know your way around."
"See, this girl's tough!" Trace laughed. I wasn't sure if that was sarcasm या a compliment. Scout laughed. From the corner of my eye I saw Felicity roll her eyes.
***
I did survive my first दिन of school unscathed. Not many people get to say that for high school. I may have been really jumpy most of the day, but I didn't feel the need to pull out my gun on anyone today. That was a first. At my old school I almost did one time. The kid was asking for it though. Good thing the principal got him out of my way या I would've blown his head off probably. Anyways, today was good to say the least.
"How was your day?" Gail asked. Scout shrugged.
"I thought it was ok. What'd आप think of your first day, Harley?"
"It was ok. Your फ्रेंड्स are nice." Except Felicity.
"They are," Scout कहा lovingly.
"Well, I'm glad आप had a nice day," Gail said. "But now since आप girls were almost late this morning, आप can catch up on your morning chores." She smirked and went to go put Bride down for her nap. Scout and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes.
It’s the color of you
आप always wore it
It’s the color we shared
As we hid form them
With it we showed our true selves,
Though no one cared
Our नारंगी, ऑरेंज book bags
Saved us from some pain
We protected each other
But it wasn’t enough
We were like two नारंगी, ऑरेंज crayons
When everyone else was green
Then आप left me alone,
All I had was our color orange
As they hit me
I took peace in knowing
आप were in the नारंगी, ऑरेंज field in the sky
आप always कहा was there.
The नारंगी, ऑरेंज of the sun set
Is your smile
Even though आप left too soon
Orange…
Now it’s my color
My way of remembering you
Now I am the lone नारंगी, ऑरेंज in the rainbow
Without आप here
I protect my own
Though I wish आप were here
Now नारंगी, ऑरेंज is my color
A color for आप bravery
A color for my survival
नारंगी, ऑरेंज will forever be our color
Even though death took आप away
Forever नारंगी, ऑरेंज for you,
Sweet Cassidy.
आप always wore it
It’s the color we shared
As we hid form them
With it we showed our true selves,
Though no one cared
Our नारंगी, ऑरेंज book bags
Saved us from some pain
We protected each other
But it wasn’t enough
We were like two नारंगी, ऑरेंज crayons
When everyone else was green
Then आप left me alone,
All I had was our color orange
As they hit me
I took peace in knowing
आप were in the नारंगी, ऑरेंज field in the sky
आप always कहा was there.
The नारंगी, ऑरेंज of the sun set
Is your smile
Even though आप left too soon
Orange…
Now it’s my color
My way of remembering you
Now I am the lone नारंगी, ऑरेंज in the rainbow
Without आप here
I protect my own
Though I wish आप were here
Now नारंगी, ऑरेंज is my color
A color for आप bravery
A color for my survival
नारंगी, ऑरेंज will forever be our color
Even though death took आप away
Forever नारंगी, ऑरेंज for you,
Sweet Cassidy.
Your दिल is sore, crippled up like paper.
Your voice is weak, barely passing द्वारा you.
Your body is tired, let it lay for tonight.
आप are but you- a stranger to much.
No one cares to know you.
They do not wish to after all.
And all those times आप told everything-
It was a lie, I प्यार आप became a lie. A horrible lie not one can ever take back to you. How could they, breaking your very soul to the apple's wrinkled core? It shook and broke, just like that. Lonesome and ever so exhausted of even thinking it would be different this time around.
You're so hopeless. आप probably cannot हटाइए away from the pain, the desecration left in the path at the end. Then again, in the end it probably doesn't even matter, does it?
Once a joy, now a misery forever scared, alone.
Your voice is weak, barely passing द्वारा you.
Your body is tired, let it lay for tonight.
आप are but you- a stranger to much.
No one cares to know you.
They do not wish to after all.
And all those times आप told everything-
It was a lie, I प्यार आप became a lie. A horrible lie not one can ever take back to you. How could they, breaking your very soul to the apple's wrinkled core? It shook and broke, just like that. Lonesome and ever so exhausted of even thinking it would be different this time around.
You're so hopeless. आप probably cannot हटाइए away from the pain, the desecration left in the path at the end. Then again, in the end it probably doesn't even matter, does it?
Once a joy, now a misery forever scared, alone.
I walk into
The Fields of Sorrow
Once again.
Why do I walk there
Almost everyday?
I stroll along the grasses
Thinking
Bearing a horrible pain.
I think of the world around me
And how much they have inspired me.
I start to cry once again.
All my teachers
All my friends,
They have always stood द्वारा me,
When things went wrong.
I want a chance to repay them,
To दिखाना them that...
Their work was useful.
To दिखाना them that
I am truly thankful.
Why do I have to leave them then
Now?
No, now's not a good time.
But I know it was not intended
That I leave them now.
I want to दिखाना all those people
That they have been
The change of my life,
That they have made my life so much
Better,
That they were the flames
In the darkness.
The Fields of Sorrow
Once again.
Why do I walk there
Almost everyday?
I stroll along the grasses
Thinking
Bearing a horrible pain.
I think of the world around me
And how much they have inspired me.
I start to cry once again.
All my teachers
All my friends,
They have always stood द्वारा me,
When things went wrong.
I want a chance to repay them,
To दिखाना them that...
Their work was useful.
To दिखाना them that
I am truly thankful.
Why do I have to leave them then
Now?
No, now's not a good time.
But I know it was not intended
That I leave them now.
I want to दिखाना all those people
That they have been
The change of my life,
That they have made my life so much
Better,
That they were the flames
In the darkness.