Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if आप know us then आप know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope आप guys like it.

Emmett's pov.

"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 मिनटों and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he कहा chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. या at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I कहा a bit sharply.

"No.I was getting bored.", he said.

"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I कहा in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he कहा a little impatient. " Jeese.", I कहा again. He sighed. "Alright. So if आप can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard आप can fart.", I कहा triumphently. "And how did आप come across this?", he कहा chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he कहा fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I कहा sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two और just to be on the सुरक्षित side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out या आप won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( बिना सोचे समझे letters =fart sounds, the और letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I कहा clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he कहा laughing again."Let's go practice.", he कहा eager to learn.


*********



"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to दिखाना आप something.", we कहा in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", कहा rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen आप know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't आप the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I कहा irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for वैंपायर to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID आप EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. द्वारा now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least आप can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", कहा Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", कहा Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", कहा Alice और alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", कहा Jake. "Then why are आप coming closer?", कहा Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I कहा still watching." आप can't but I can.", कहा Edward chuckling. द्वारा now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are आप willing to bet he is going to get his sorry नितंब, गधा knocked around?", कहा Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the अगला minute?", I said. "Your on.", कहा Edward."Edward aren't आप going to go help him?", Bella कहा worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", कहा Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But आप Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I कहा knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." आप know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", कहा Bella. "hey Bella can आप go make some पॉपकॉर्न this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I कहा and sat down to enjoy the दिखाना just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."