1) Seamus Finnegan is not after me lucky charms
2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid पोकेमोन cards and convince him they're real animals
10) I will not sing the बिज्जू, बेजर Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
12) When डेथ ईटर्स are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"
13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins या the Patil Twins as "bookends"
17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
19) It’s not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy संगीत when wandering the halls.
21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
24) I will not slip Malfoy a प्यार Potion in his morning goblet of कद्दू Juice.
25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start गाना anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the क्रिस्मस Holidays.
29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
31.) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told आप I was hardcore".
32.) House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
34.) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.(they need to FIND that out)
35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
36.) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape’s private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
38.) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with कद्दू juice.
39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's कद्दू रस with Skele-Gro.
40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
41.) The अगला time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
42.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
43.) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
44.) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
45.) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been एनचांटेड to fly.
46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
47.) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
49.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculties at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
50.) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
51.) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
52.) I may not have a private army.
53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, या otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
55.) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
59.) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating चित्रो of my house prefects या tutors.
60.) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62.) I will not test my Potions assignments द्वारा spiking Snape's drink with them.
63.) - Especially not all of them at once.
64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artefacts."
65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.
66.) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
67.) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing द्वारा the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
68.) When being interrogated द्वारा a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids आप are looking for'.
69.) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
70.) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
71.) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
72.) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not improved द्वारा the introduction of Muggle firearms.
73.) Though they are doubtless और athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
74.) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, a History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
75.) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
76.) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
77.) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
78.) I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
79.) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
80.) Professor Snape's proper दिया name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
82.) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
83.) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
85.) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
86.) I will not attempt to recruit the शीर्षक character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
87.) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
88.) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the सेकंड cousin of Sauron.
89.) I am not a 'ninja sent here द्वारा Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
90.) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a कमीज, शर्ट that says "All the good-looking ones die young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
91.) I will not yell "Hey look it’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
92.) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his गुलाबी flowery teddy भालू to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry
93.) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall.
2) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
9) I will not give Hagrid पोकेमोन cards and convince him they're real animals
10) I will not sing the बिज्जू, बेजर Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches
12) When डेथ ईटर्स are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"
13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins या the Patil Twins as "bookends"
17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
19) It’s not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy संगीत when wandering the halls.
21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.
23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
24) I will not slip Malfoy a प्यार Potion in his morning goblet of कद्दू Juice.
25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start गाना anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force".
28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the क्रिस्मस Holidays.
29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library.
30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas.
31.) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told आप I was hardcore".
32.) House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
34.) I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.(they need to FIND that out)
35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
36.) I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape’s private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
38.) I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with कद्दू juice.
39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's कद्दू रस with Skele-Gro.
40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
41.) The अगला time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
42.) I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
43.) When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.
44.) Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
45.) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been एनचांटेड to fly.
46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “
47.) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
49.) Sending rings to the nine senior faculties at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
50.) Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
51.) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
52.) I may not have a private army.
53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavoured laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, या otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
55.) I am not the wicked witch of the west.
56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me.
58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
59.) I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating चित्रो of my house prefects या tutors.
60.) I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
62.) I will not test my Potions assignments द्वारा spiking Snape's drink with them.
63.) - Especially not all of them at once.
64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artefacts."
65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.
66.) Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
67.) I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing द्वारा the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
68.) When being interrogated द्वारा a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids आप are looking for'.
69.) Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
70.) The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters.
71.) I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
72.) Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not improved द्वारा the introduction of Muggle firearms.
73.) Though they are doubtless और athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
74.) I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, a History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
75.) I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
76.) I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
77.) I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.
78.) I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
79.) Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
80.) Professor Snape's proper दिया name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
82.) Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
83.) I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape.
84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
85.) If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
86.) I will not attempt to recruit the शीर्षक character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
87.) I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
88.) I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the सेकंड cousin of Sauron.
89.) I am not a 'ninja sent here द्वारा Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.
90.) It’s not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a कमीज, शर्ट that says "All the good-looking ones die young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
91.) I will not yell "Hey look it’s Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
92.) I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his गुलाबी flowery teddy भालू to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry
93.) I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall.
Apparently, there is suppose to be और Muggle classes like painting at Hogwarts. But the Ministry refused because our last Muggle Studies professor got killed द्वारा Lord Voldemort (sorry) and they think we should learn और magic than learning what Muggles do.
I want आप guys' opinion if you, the students and professors, want और Muggle classes. और magic classes. या both.
In my opinion, we should even out the magic classes and Muggle classes. Either way, we can fit in with Muggles and understand their world. I don't think the Ministry should be keeping us away and marrying Muggles. Without them, our kind would of wiped out like death.
I want आप guys' opinion if you, the students and professors, want और Muggle classes. और magic classes. या both.
In my opinion, we should even out the magic classes and Muggle classes. Either way, we can fit in with Muggles and understand their world. I don't think the Ministry should be keeping us away and marrying Muggles. Without them, our kind would of wiped out like death.
((This is in now way Potter-related. It's just a quick scene. Any of आप with siblings can sympathize.))
*my phone rings*
Em: हे Sis!
*click*
*phone rings again*
Em: Hey. Hey. Hey.
*click*
*Mom's phone rings*
Em: She hung up on me!
Mom: And that's surprising?
Em: I'm going to try again.
*click*
*my phone rings*
Em: Hi.
Me: No.
*click*
And there आप have it. Something we can all relate to in some way.
Special thanks to my sister and my mom for inspiring this little scene. Yes, this will eventually happen.
*my phone rings*
Em: हे Sis!
*click*
*phone rings again*
Em: Hey. Hey. Hey.
*click*
*Mom's phone rings*
Em: She hung up on me!
Mom: And that's surprising?
Em: I'm going to try again.
*click*
*my phone rings*
Em: Hi.
Me: No.
*click*
And there आप have it. Something we can all relate to in some way.
Special thanks to my sister and my mom for inspiring this little scene. Yes, this will eventually happen.
80 Years Later
Sirius and Lily Black looked down at the tombstones. “Very funny how life works, guys.” He said, smiling a little. “Hated each other, worst enemies… what made आप change?”
Lily sighed. “You were good men. No, great.”
Sirius looked her over, and then hugged her. “I can still hear आप two, coming over at our रात का खाना table… bickering a little, yeah, but mostly talking and having fun.”
Lily bowed her head. “They both loved me, didn’t they?”
“Maybe.”
A little farther away Henry, Thomas, Jacob and Rose were playing together. The Blacks loved their grandchildren with all their heart, and loved their merry feet as they zigzagged across the tombstones, racing.
The leap of faith was over for them.
All was well at last.
Sirius and Lily Black looked down at the tombstones. “Very funny how life works, guys.” He said, smiling a little. “Hated each other, worst enemies… what made आप change?”
Lily sighed. “You were good men. No, great.”
Sirius looked her over, and then hugged her. “I can still hear आप two, coming over at our रात का खाना table… bickering a little, yeah, but mostly talking and having fun.”
Lily bowed her head. “They both loved me, didn’t they?”
“Maybe.”
A little farther away Henry, Thomas, Jacob and Rose were playing together. The Blacks loved their grandchildren with all their heart, and loved their merry feet as they zigzagged across the tombstones, racing.
The leap of faith was over for them.
All was well at last.