Is anyone here who have interest in "Haiku"....

Because, i wanna write Haiku.. .
.
and i wrote it,
Need your सलाह ..
About haiku i wrote!
Here:
A lady
And love
Rainy
.
Dusk a
lady lad
man in
.
I want your advice.. .

 K_lleH-Hell_k posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
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कविता जवाब

SRitchieable said:
The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement.

A traditional Japanese haiku goes:
Girls planting paddy [ie चावल fields]
Only their song
Free of mud.

As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the चावल paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if आप think it through.

I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern या paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie चावल paddy planting, प्यार etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject.

So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what आप want to say. Is a lady in प्यार like the rain या a rainy day? Is प्यार like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps:
Rain falls on
A lady; it
Is like love.

या whatever it is आप TRULY want to say.


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 The trick to haiku is: The haiku has to make sense as a 'sentence' as well as meeting the vowel-count requirement. A traditional Japanese haiku goes: Girls planting paddy [ie चावल fields] Only their song Free of mud. As a sentence this reads "Girls planting paddy [have] only their song free of [the] mud [ie the mud of the चावल paddy]." Which makes sense in its own right - if आप think it through. I think the art form has to be considered as one would consider (say) a Japanese paper lantern या paper screen. One can see what a hakiu is talking about - ie चावल paddy planting, प्यार etc - but one sees it as though one were looking at the subject through a fine (rice) paper screen. It 'simplifies' the scene (how much can one see through rice/tissue paper?) but at the same time this 'simplification' gives one a new way of perceiving the subject. So - "A lady/ And love/ Rainy" could be tinkered somewhat. It depends what आप want to say. Is a lady in प्यार like the rain या a rainy day? Is प्यार like rain? If so, how? That's what a haiku tries to capture/communicate. Perhaps: Rain falls on A lady; it Is like love. या whatever it is आप TRULY want to say.
posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
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Thank You!!
K_lleH-Hell_k posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
RiderOfTempest said:
i always thought that haiku had to have 5 letters in the 1st line, seven in the 2nd, and 5 again in the 3rd.....
then again, i've never studied it properly....

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posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना 
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Lol, :D
K_lleH-Hell_k posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
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actually its five syllables not letters
RiverIce posted एक साल  से अधिक पुराना
Jace123 said:
I like Haiku its preety nice!
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RiverIce said:
I always thought that Haiku was like
1st line: 5 syllables
2nd line: 7
1st line: 5
like:

The फूल I pick
They dance with colors, like me
The रंग never fade

or

प्यार is a Boulder
आप can study it nicely
या let the rock fall

i like the 2nd one
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 I always thought that Haiku was like 1st line: 5 syllables 2nd line: 7 1st line: 5 like: The फूल I pick They dance with colors, like me The रंग never fade या प्यार is a Boulder आप can study it nicely या let the rock fall i like the 2nd one
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audrey34-z said:
A haiku is a short,timed कविता that expression throught a 5-7-5 syllabes.
आप have to expell your image that is ephemer.Meaning it doesn't stay too long.

जापान origin, they have to compress their sensation,season into small line. The best option is figure of style,compar it to another object,material या double sense.

Your's is dry,only 4 syllabes to each vers (Tetrasyllabe) and not so expressif.The text give आप an illusion of being an haiku since the 2nd one is long to others snce आप can do a 7 syllabes one.
But it doesn't mean that आप have to stop, the road to a better haiku is long and expression and idea clasing will make आप a better writter.
The road may be long but आप can do it.
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