King of Red Lions: आप did it Link. You’ve collected all eight of the Triforce pieces
Link: And all it costed was three thousand rupees, as well as my patients
King of Red Lions: Well, now we must head back to the Sacred Realm, that isn’t so sacred anymore, but आप get the idea
Link: Whatever….. Wait, how long has टेट्रा been down there
King of Red Lions: I don’t know, like, a week
Link: आप still think she’s alive
King of Red Lions: …………… OH SHIT
(Later, in the Sacred Realm)
Link: Tetra, if you’re dead, I’m taking your wallet
Tetra: Link, your back
Link: Goddamn it, you’re still alive
Tetra: (Disappears)
Link: …. So, is she a ghost, या what
Ganondorf: (In Link’s head) Ha ha ha! I have taken her, and if आप want her back, आप have to come to my tower
Link: And where is your tower
Ganondorf: It’s the big tower that is literally two feet from the castle
Link: Wow. No wonder this गढ़, महल gt easily destroyed
Ganondorf: But, there is no way you’ll make it. The road, while very short, is filled with dangerous monsters, such as flying balls, fat pig guys, and blobs who are possibly retarded……. Now that I think about it, I didn’t chose my minions wisely
Link: Yeah, आप really didn’t. Anyway, I’ll be there soon
Ganondorf: Okay, see आप soon
Link: आप two (Leaves)
(Later, on the road)
Peahat: There he is, are आप guys ready
Moblin: I sure am
ChuChu: (Yelling for no reason) I HAVE A QUESTION!
Peahat: What?
ChuChu: … I AM A BLOB
Peahat: That wasn’t even a que-
ChuChu: I DON’T HAVE LEGS! HOW CAN I MOVE!?
Peahat: (Sighs)
Link: ……. (Just walks past them)
(Later, in Ganondorf’s Tower)
Link: Okay, so, it looks like I need to do something here. Lets see, the only way to get in is…. Oh, fuck no
Wind: Link, do it
Link: Fuck no, I am not fighting the same bosses I already fought again
Wind: Come on, it will be easy
Link: I’m not doing it.
Wind: Link, do it now
Link: No, fuck you. Why don’t आप go पंच a child in the face
Wind: As fun as that is, not now. That’s only for Thursdays. Now, get up off your ass, and go fight the bosses. Otherwise, I’ll make आप a part of The Faces of Evil Parody
Link: आप wouldn’t fucking dare
Wind: Oh, I’d dare. I’d definitely dare
Link: Fine… But I’m not gonna like it
(Later)
Gohma: That rock the last time was a cheap shot. Now आप will di- (Rock falls on his head) OH COME ON (Link stabs him and he dies)
(Later)
Kalos Demos: If आप cut my head off again, I swear to God- (Link cuts his head off)
(Later)
Jalhalla: DIABETES! (Dies)
Link: This again
(Later)
Molgera: ….. Yeah, I’ll just kill myself (Blows himself up)
Link: …. Well then… that happened
(Later)
Link: Okay, I finally made it to the boss room
Ganondorf: (Near Tetra, who is unconscious on a bed, and holds her) Hush little princess, don’t say a word. Ganon’s gonna kill आप and leave आप for the birds
Link: What the hell are आप doing
Ganondorf: I am just holding the princess
Link: Well, you’d better enjoy it while it lasts, because that’s the only time you’re gonna get that close to anything female
Ganondorf: …. आप know what, fuck you. Puppet Ganon, kill him (A giant puppet falls from the sky)
Link: Are आप serious. आप think a giant puppet is gonna kill me. Just because he was made द्वारा an ऐनीमे character who has a case of stomach flu?
Puppet Ganon: FUCK YOU, I’M A GIANT PUPPET (Attacks Link)
Link: Oh shit (Dodges attacks) Okay… what was I told द्वारा Orca, the sword master
(Flashback)
Link: (Younger) हे Orca, look what I found. It’s a butterfly
Orca: KILL IT WITH FIRE
Link: Okay (Sets तितली on fire)
(End of flashback)
Link: Of course (Sets Puppet Ganon on fire)
Puppet Ganon: OH GOD, आग (Dies)
Link: Okay, Ganondorf. I’m coming for you
Link: And all it costed was three thousand rupees, as well as my patients
King of Red Lions: Well, now we must head back to the Sacred Realm, that isn’t so sacred anymore, but आप get the idea
Link: Whatever….. Wait, how long has टेट्रा been down there
King of Red Lions: I don’t know, like, a week
Link: आप still think she’s alive
King of Red Lions: …………… OH SHIT
(Later, in the Sacred Realm)
Link: Tetra, if you’re dead, I’m taking your wallet
Tetra: Link, your back
Link: Goddamn it, you’re still alive
Tetra: (Disappears)
Link: …. So, is she a ghost, या what
Ganondorf: (In Link’s head) Ha ha ha! I have taken her, and if आप want her back, आप have to come to my tower
Link: And where is your tower
Ganondorf: It’s the big tower that is literally two feet from the castle
Link: Wow. No wonder this गढ़, महल gt easily destroyed
Ganondorf: But, there is no way you’ll make it. The road, while very short, is filled with dangerous monsters, such as flying balls, fat pig guys, and blobs who are possibly retarded……. Now that I think about it, I didn’t chose my minions wisely
Link: Yeah, आप really didn’t. Anyway, I’ll be there soon
Ganondorf: Okay, see आप soon
Link: आप two (Leaves)
(Later, on the road)
Peahat: There he is, are आप guys ready
Moblin: I sure am
ChuChu: (Yelling for no reason) I HAVE A QUESTION!
Peahat: What?
ChuChu: … I AM A BLOB
Peahat: That wasn’t even a que-
ChuChu: I DON’T HAVE LEGS! HOW CAN I MOVE!?
Peahat: (Sighs)
Link: ……. (Just walks past them)
(Later, in Ganondorf’s Tower)
Link: Okay, so, it looks like I need to do something here. Lets see, the only way to get in is…. Oh, fuck no
Wind: Link, do it
Link: Fuck no, I am not fighting the same bosses I already fought again
Wind: Come on, it will be easy
Link: I’m not doing it.
Wind: Link, do it now
Link: No, fuck you. Why don’t आप go पंच a child in the face
Wind: As fun as that is, not now. That’s only for Thursdays. Now, get up off your ass, and go fight the bosses. Otherwise, I’ll make आप a part of The Faces of Evil Parody
Link: आप wouldn’t fucking dare
Wind: Oh, I’d dare. I’d definitely dare
Link: Fine… But I’m not gonna like it
(Later)
Gohma: That rock the last time was a cheap shot. Now आप will di- (Rock falls on his head) OH COME ON (Link stabs him and he dies)
(Later)
Kalos Demos: If आप cut my head off again, I swear to God- (Link cuts his head off)
(Later)
Jalhalla: DIABETES! (Dies)
Link: This again
(Later)
Molgera: ….. Yeah, I’ll just kill myself (Blows himself up)
Link: …. Well then… that happened
(Later)
Link: Okay, I finally made it to the boss room
Ganondorf: (Near Tetra, who is unconscious on a bed, and holds her) Hush little princess, don’t say a word. Ganon’s gonna kill आप and leave आप for the birds
Link: What the hell are आप doing
Ganondorf: I am just holding the princess
Link: Well, you’d better enjoy it while it lasts, because that’s the only time you’re gonna get that close to anything female
Ganondorf: …. आप know what, fuck you. Puppet Ganon, kill him (A giant puppet falls from the sky)
Link: Are आप serious. आप think a giant puppet is gonna kill me. Just because he was made द्वारा an ऐनीमे character who has a case of stomach flu?
Puppet Ganon: FUCK YOU, I’M A GIANT PUPPET (Attacks Link)
Link: Oh shit (Dodges attacks) Okay… what was I told द्वारा Orca, the sword master
(Flashback)
Link: (Younger) हे Orca, look what I found. It’s a butterfly
Orca: KILL IT WITH FIRE
Link: Okay (Sets तितली on fire)
(End of flashback)
Link: Of course (Sets Puppet Ganon on fire)
Puppet Ganon: OH GOD, आग (Dies)
Link: Okay, Ganondorf. I’m coming for you