Link: (Wakes up) Oh, god, where am I
Quill: Hey, Link
Komali: हे Link, it’s good to see आप again
Link: Oh god, don’t tell me I was saved द्वारा an idiot and a pussy
Quill: We saved the day
Link: Well, so much for self-esteem
Tetra: (Wakes up) Where the hell am I (See’s Link) Oh god, tell me we didn’t just do it
Link: Why would I want to sleep with some insufferable pirate girl
King of Red Lions: Enough! We must head back to the Once-Sacred-But-Now-Not-Sacred Realm.
Tetra: What the hell is he talking about
Link: You’ll see, just try and hold your breathe (Boat goes underwater)
Quill: Hey, Komli. We should follo-
Komali: Quill, their gone. If आप went in there, you’d drown
Quill: My mom tried to drown me when I was born. She always tried
Komali: Well, that explains the brain damage
(Later)
Tetra: So, what is this place
Link: It’s a fucking dump, trust me
Tetra: Okay then
King of Red Lions: Okay, Link, now just go in an-
Link: Hold on a second
King of Red Lions: What now
Link: Why the fuck did the sword not kill Ganondorf. I stabbed the fucker, but the goddamn thing wouldn’t go in. I had a better chance of stabbing through a fucking tank then I did him, and he’s just a giant skin sack of flesh. Sure, he’s और green than Franklin the Turtle, but I’m sure he still has red blood, and I would have loved to find out. But, NO, the sword just decides to fuck me over in the end, and now we’re all right back to square fucking one
King of Red Lions: If आप want the answers, आप got to go inside there
Link: I’d better. And if they aren’t there, I will have no trouble with burning आप alive. I will just use one of the moblins corpse as a life बेड़ा until I get to shore
(Later)
Link: So, where is the answer to my problem
???: Hello, Link. I’ve been expecting you
Link: Who the hell are you
???: I am the King of the Sacred Realm.
Link: So, your the king of Shithole Land? That isn’t something to brag about
???: Well, this place was once Hyrule
Link: Hyrule. आप mean that horrible kingdom that wasn’t technologically advanced, and that is why they were all killed द्वारा a giant black guy
???: …… Well, when आप put it that way, आप just make everything suck…. I got it, I am actually the King of Red Lions. I have been with आप this whole time
Link: So, आप were a human, and आप thought the best thing to turn into was a boat, with no hands, legs, ability to fight back, consume खाना या drinks, या even perform sexual activities…. Yeah, आप didn’t think that through, huh
King of Red Lions: Oh for fu- Listen, टेट्रा is actually my great great great great great great granddaughter
Link: Your granddaughter turned into a pirate
King of Red Lions: WILL आप STOP RUBBING MY FAILURES IN MY FACE
Link: आप hear that, Tetra? You’re a failure
Tetra: Gee, thanks for that compliment
Link: Your welcome
King of Red Lions: Now, Tetra, hold still, as I will now unlock something inside आप (Tetra transforms into a princess)
Link: Huh… I’m actually starting to have सेकंड thoughts on the sex thing
King of Red Lions: Now, Link. We must go now, and defeat Ganondorf. I will meet आप outside when you’re ready (Disappears)
Tetra: Link
Link: What is it
Tetra: I know I dragged आप throughout all of this. I know the hardships आप and your sister went through. I just want to say that…. If आप fail at defeating Ganondorf, I am going to kick the shit out of you
Link: … Really. आप had that whole dramatic build-up just to threaten me
Tetra: Yes. Now get the fuck out of here. I must stay here, and possibly starve to death
Link: Fine. Have fun starving to death
Link: Have fun doing a bunch of stupid shit for stupid people
(Later, outside)
Link: Okay, King. I am ready to fight Ganondorf. I’ll travel the seas, stop Ganondorf, and save Hyrule
King of Red Lions: आप literally कहा before that आप are going to take it over
Link: (Whispers angrily) King, shut the fuck up (Continues speaking) And I will save Hyrule and the Great Sea
King of Red Lions: We can’t fight Ganondorf yet
Link: What?
King of Red Lions: आप need to power up the sword to defeat him
Link: Okay, how
King of Red Lions: आप must go back to Dragon Roost Island, AND Forest Haven
Link: ….. what
King of Red Lions: AND, आप then need to go to two of the most annoying temples in the game
Link: OH, SON OF A BI-
Quill: Hey, Link
Komali: हे Link, it’s good to see आप again
Link: Oh god, don’t tell me I was saved द्वारा an idiot and a pussy
Quill: We saved the day
Link: Well, so much for self-esteem
Tetra: (Wakes up) Where the hell am I (See’s Link) Oh god, tell me we didn’t just do it
Link: Why would I want to sleep with some insufferable pirate girl
King of Red Lions: Enough! We must head back to the Once-Sacred-But-Now-Not-Sacred Realm.
Tetra: What the hell is he talking about
Link: You’ll see, just try and hold your breathe (Boat goes underwater)
Quill: Hey, Komli. We should follo-
Komali: Quill, their gone. If आप went in there, you’d drown
Quill: My mom tried to drown me when I was born. She always tried
Komali: Well, that explains the brain damage
(Later)
Tetra: So, what is this place
Link: It’s a fucking dump, trust me
Tetra: Okay then
King of Red Lions: Okay, Link, now just go in an-
Link: Hold on a second
King of Red Lions: What now
Link: Why the fuck did the sword not kill Ganondorf. I stabbed the fucker, but the goddamn thing wouldn’t go in. I had a better chance of stabbing through a fucking tank then I did him, and he’s just a giant skin sack of flesh. Sure, he’s और green than Franklin the Turtle, but I’m sure he still has red blood, and I would have loved to find out. But, NO, the sword just decides to fuck me over in the end, and now we’re all right back to square fucking one
King of Red Lions: If आप want the answers, आप got to go inside there
Link: I’d better. And if they aren’t there, I will have no trouble with burning आप alive. I will just use one of the moblins corpse as a life बेड़ा until I get to shore
(Later)
Link: So, where is the answer to my problem
???: Hello, Link. I’ve been expecting you
Link: Who the hell are you
???: I am the King of the Sacred Realm.
Link: So, your the king of Shithole Land? That isn’t something to brag about
???: Well, this place was once Hyrule
Link: Hyrule. आप mean that horrible kingdom that wasn’t technologically advanced, and that is why they were all killed द्वारा a giant black guy
???: …… Well, when आप put it that way, आप just make everything suck…. I got it, I am actually the King of Red Lions. I have been with आप this whole time
Link: So, आप were a human, and आप thought the best thing to turn into was a boat, with no hands, legs, ability to fight back, consume खाना या drinks, या even perform sexual activities…. Yeah, आप didn’t think that through, huh
King of Red Lions: Oh for fu- Listen, टेट्रा is actually my great great great great great great granddaughter
Link: Your granddaughter turned into a pirate
King of Red Lions: WILL आप STOP RUBBING MY FAILURES IN MY FACE
Link: आप hear that, Tetra? You’re a failure
Tetra: Gee, thanks for that compliment
Link: Your welcome
King of Red Lions: Now, Tetra, hold still, as I will now unlock something inside आप (Tetra transforms into a princess)
Link: Huh… I’m actually starting to have सेकंड thoughts on the sex thing
King of Red Lions: Now, Link. We must go now, and defeat Ganondorf. I will meet आप outside when you’re ready (Disappears)
Tetra: Link
Link: What is it
Tetra: I know I dragged आप throughout all of this. I know the hardships आप and your sister went through. I just want to say that…. If आप fail at defeating Ganondorf, I am going to kick the shit out of you
Link: … Really. आप had that whole dramatic build-up just to threaten me
Tetra: Yes. Now get the fuck out of here. I must stay here, and possibly starve to death
Link: Fine. Have fun starving to death
Link: Have fun doing a bunch of stupid shit for stupid people
(Later, outside)
Link: Okay, King. I am ready to fight Ganondorf. I’ll travel the seas, stop Ganondorf, and save Hyrule
King of Red Lions: आप literally कहा before that आप are going to take it over
Link: (Whispers angrily) King, shut the fuck up (Continues speaking) And I will save Hyrule and the Great Sea
King of Red Lions: We can’t fight Ganondorf yet
Link: What?
King of Red Lions: आप need to power up the sword to defeat him
Link: Okay, how
King of Red Lions: आप must go back to Dragon Roost Island, AND Forest Haven
Link: ….. what
King of Red Lions: AND, आप then need to go to two of the most annoying temples in the game
Link: OH, SON OF A BI-