Link: (Wakes up) Oh, where am I
???: Ah, so you’re finally awake
Link: Who कहा that
???: (Boat turns its head towards Link) It is I. A नाव with a face
Link: AHH!
Boat: Is something wrong
Link: Begone, spawn of Satan
Boat: No, it’s okay. I’m a good guy, like you
Link: Oh…. I’m suddenly okay with the fact that you’re talking
Boat: Perfect. I am the King of Red Lions, द्वारा the way
Link: I’m Link
King of Red Lions: Now, I recall आप trying to save your sister. That was either very brave, या very stupid
Link: ….. I dare आप to call me stupid again. Let me remind आप you’re made of wood. And last time I checked, wood is very flammable.
King of Red Lions: Okay, fine. Jeez. Anyway, we can go and sail right back to the Forsaken Fortress to save your sister and defeat Ganondorf
Link: Yeah- Wait, who?
King of Red Lions: Ganondorf? He’s that weird green skinned guy who was wearing a लबादा, बागे आप saw earlier
Link: Oooh, that guy. Yeah, he’s a prick
King of Red Lions: Yes, he is. Now, we can go right back there and fight him, but, the only problem is that I don’t have a sail
Link: Oh, we all don’t have things we want. Like me, I want to purge the earth of people I hate, and let me remind you, I fucking hate everyone, so, I’ll let आप do the math on who would be purged
King of Red Lions: … You’re a special kind of insane, aren’t you
Link: Hey, I’m not…. that insane
King of Red Lions: Look, just go into town, get us a sail, and we’ll be off
Link: Alright, fine
King of Red Lions: And try not to talk to any weirdos. Seriously, this town is filled with them
Link: Fine
(Later)
Link: (See’s Eskimo) Hey, what the hell are आप doing here. Isn’t your people, like, extinct या something
Eskimo: I have no idea what you’re talking about
Link: Um…. okay then
Eskimo: Do आप want to buy my sail. I need a lot of money so I can turn this place into a फूल shop
Link: Wait, what? Why do आप want to make it a फूल shop?
Eskimo: Because I don’t have friends, या a girlfriend, and even my mother doesn’t want me in the house, so this sad and pathetic little dream is all I have left
Link: Uh… okay, sure. I’ll buy your sail
Eskimo: Okay, that will be eighty five rupees
Link: eighty fi- are आप fucking serious? आप think I can just find that kind of money lying around in bushes
Eskimo: Well, actually-
Link: I have और important things to do, like save my sister from a green skinned jackass, and I don’t have that kind of money
Eskimo: Then get the fuck out of my store, simple as that
Link: ……. Okay, fine (Stabs a customer in the spine, and takes his wallet) There, eighty five rupees
Eskimo: Oh… um… okay
Link: Good, now give me my goddamn sail
Eskimo: Uh… sure, here
Link: Thank you. Maybe now, I won’t stab आप in the gut after all
Eskimo: Oh… that’s, uh….. good
Link: Yes. Yes it is
(Later)
Link: Okay, so, that talking नाव told me not to talk to any weirdos. Thankfully, I’m not. (Walks into a jail) I’m talking to criminals. They aren’t weird. We see these sort of people all the time
Tingle: (See’s Link) Oh, hello there, little boy
Link: Little? I’m twelve
Tingle: Oh my, आप are at a ripe young age are you. Yes, आप do have all the traits of a twelve साल old. A young body, a nice face, a very tight young virgin a-
Link: Can आप please just stop talking
Tingle: Oh, right. Well, can आप let me out of this cell
Link: And why would I do that
Tingle: I’ll give आप this Gameboy
Link: …… (Breaks cell and lets Tingle out) Give me the Gameboy
Tingle: Yes, here it is. Thank you, आप sexy little boy
Link: Uh-huh, great. Fuck off, now
Tingle: Gladly (Leaves)
(Later)
King of Red Lions: God, what’s taking him so long
Link: Hey, sorry for the wait. I’m back
King of Red Lions: Where were you
Link: Well, after I got the sail, I decided to look around the island. Then I found this pedophile dressed in as a green bean, and he gave me a Gameboy
King of Red Lions: … what kind of drugs are आप on
Link: I don’t even know anymore. Lets just go
King of Red Lions: Yes. Let us head to Dragon Roost Island
Link: I thought we were heading to Forsaken Fortress
King of Red Lions: Not yet, we got to make आप stronger than Ganondorf. So, we must go on a long journey
Link: Can’t we just do a exercise montage, like in the Rocky films
King of Red Lions: Can’t. The लेखक doesn’t have the budget to do that. He spent half our budget on McDonald’s Big Macs
Wind: (Eating Big Mac) It was worth it
(Later)
King of Red Lions: (Sailing) Look at this Link, we are sailing across the sea, on our way to an amazing adven-
Link: Yeah, I don’t care. Let me know when we reach the island. I’m gonna play some Mario Land (Plays on Gameboy)
King of Red Lions: (Sighs)
???: Ah, so you’re finally awake
Link: Who कहा that
???: (Boat turns its head towards Link) It is I. A नाव with a face
Link: AHH!
Boat: Is something wrong
Link: Begone, spawn of Satan
Boat: No, it’s okay. I’m a good guy, like you
Link: Oh…. I’m suddenly okay with the fact that you’re talking
Boat: Perfect. I am the King of Red Lions, द्वारा the way
Link: I’m Link
King of Red Lions: Now, I recall आप trying to save your sister. That was either very brave, या very stupid
Link: ….. I dare आप to call me stupid again. Let me remind आप you’re made of wood. And last time I checked, wood is very flammable.
King of Red Lions: Okay, fine. Jeez. Anyway, we can go and sail right back to the Forsaken Fortress to save your sister and defeat Ganondorf
Link: Yeah- Wait, who?
King of Red Lions: Ganondorf? He’s that weird green skinned guy who was wearing a लबादा, बागे आप saw earlier
Link: Oooh, that guy. Yeah, he’s a prick
King of Red Lions: Yes, he is. Now, we can go right back there and fight him, but, the only problem is that I don’t have a sail
Link: Oh, we all don’t have things we want. Like me, I want to purge the earth of people I hate, and let me remind you, I fucking hate everyone, so, I’ll let आप do the math on who would be purged
King of Red Lions: … You’re a special kind of insane, aren’t you
Link: Hey, I’m not…. that insane
King of Red Lions: Look, just go into town, get us a sail, and we’ll be off
Link: Alright, fine
King of Red Lions: And try not to talk to any weirdos. Seriously, this town is filled with them
Link: Fine
(Later)
Link: (See’s Eskimo) Hey, what the hell are आप doing here. Isn’t your people, like, extinct या something
Eskimo: I have no idea what you’re talking about
Link: Um…. okay then
Eskimo: Do आप want to buy my sail. I need a lot of money so I can turn this place into a फूल shop
Link: Wait, what? Why do आप want to make it a फूल shop?
Eskimo: Because I don’t have friends, या a girlfriend, and even my mother doesn’t want me in the house, so this sad and pathetic little dream is all I have left
Link: Uh… okay, sure. I’ll buy your sail
Eskimo: Okay, that will be eighty five rupees
Link: eighty fi- are आप fucking serious? आप think I can just find that kind of money lying around in bushes
Eskimo: Well, actually-
Link: I have और important things to do, like save my sister from a green skinned jackass, and I don’t have that kind of money
Eskimo: Then get the fuck out of my store, simple as that
Link: ……. Okay, fine (Stabs a customer in the spine, and takes his wallet) There, eighty five rupees
Eskimo: Oh… um… okay
Link: Good, now give me my goddamn sail
Eskimo: Uh… sure, here
Link: Thank you. Maybe now, I won’t stab आप in the gut after all
Eskimo: Oh… that’s, uh….. good
Link: Yes. Yes it is
(Later)
Link: Okay, so, that talking नाव told me not to talk to any weirdos. Thankfully, I’m not. (Walks into a jail) I’m talking to criminals. They aren’t weird. We see these sort of people all the time
Tingle: (See’s Link) Oh, hello there, little boy
Link: Little? I’m twelve
Tingle: Oh my, आप are at a ripe young age are you. Yes, आप do have all the traits of a twelve साल old. A young body, a nice face, a very tight young virgin a-
Link: Can आप please just stop talking
Tingle: Oh, right. Well, can आप let me out of this cell
Link: And why would I do that
Tingle: I’ll give आप this Gameboy
Link: …… (Breaks cell and lets Tingle out) Give me the Gameboy
Tingle: Yes, here it is. Thank you, आप sexy little boy
Link: Uh-huh, great. Fuck off, now
Tingle: Gladly (Leaves)
(Later)
King of Red Lions: God, what’s taking him so long
Link: Hey, sorry for the wait. I’m back
King of Red Lions: Where were you
Link: Well, after I got the sail, I decided to look around the island. Then I found this pedophile dressed in as a green bean, and he gave me a Gameboy
King of Red Lions: … what kind of drugs are आप on
Link: I don’t even know anymore. Lets just go
King of Red Lions: Yes. Let us head to Dragon Roost Island
Link: I thought we were heading to Forsaken Fortress
King of Red Lions: Not yet, we got to make आप stronger than Ganondorf. So, we must go on a long journey
Link: Can’t we just do a exercise montage, like in the Rocky films
King of Red Lions: Can’t. The लेखक doesn’t have the budget to do that. He spent half our budget on McDonald’s Big Macs
Wind: (Eating Big Mac) It was worth it
(Later)
King of Red Lions: (Sailing) Look at this Link, we are sailing across the sea, on our way to an amazing adven-
Link: Yeah, I don’t care. Let me know when we reach the island. I’m gonna play some Mario Land (Plays on Gameboy)
King of Red Lions: (Sighs)