THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC सेकंड LINE:
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying आप screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything आप are not.
प्यार may be beautiful, प्यार may be bliss,
But I only slept with आप 'cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could प्यार no other --
That is until I met your brother.
गुलाब are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the गुलाब are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I प्यार your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, आप take my breath away.
What have आप stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for आप no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
