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I hate moving. Of all the parts of being a vampire, leaving the places आप finally grow accustomed to and begin to call घर is the worst. I have no home, I am a vagrant. Carlisle likes to say that the घर is where the दिल is, but do वैंपायर even have hearts? Our hearts do not beat, they do not पंप blood. So would that even count? Perhaps I am over thinking again, being a downer in my own skin.
At any rate, we have moved on from our home, the one true place since I was human where I really felt at home. I am not even sure why it is that I liked our house in Hoquiam so much, it wasn't necessarily the town, या the people there. Maybe it was the house itself, या the woods, the atmosphere. I just felt home. Either way, it is gone now, for a while at least. We spent the longest time there as anywhere. True, we flitted back and forth, did a lot of traveling in between, so people didn't realize that we stayed the entire time, but we spent a long time there. And now we have लॉस्ट it.
The girl won't be found for a couple और weeks, so we are hoping to be in the clear as far as that goes, but Alice is going to keep her eye on Forks and the townspeople just in case. Her visions get sharper and sharper the और she practices. I suppose my mind पढ़ना does to. The और आप use it, the better it gets. We will need her to be at the चोटी, शीर्ष of her game in a few weeks in order to make sure we didn't raise any suspicion even though we are gone. We can never be too safe.
We have traveled up to Alaska, to a small area where Carlisle knows a vegetarian coven like ours. The Denali family is made up of the sisters Irina, Katrina (most call her Kate) and Tanya, but they were recently joined द्वारा other vegetarian वैंपायर Eleazar and his lover Carmen. Eleazar and Carmen are कहा to have special abilities, so I am eager to meet them. The Denali coven is considered to be Carlisle's closest friends, people he counts on in his time of deepest need. We have come to them because our हटाइए was such short notice we really didn't get a chance to get a place set up या a story straight for our अगला destination. Visiting the Denali's seems like a nice chance to get a little rest and give us a chance to figure out our अगला move.
I didn't realize that the Denali sisters were the original succubus' however. They have a fondness for men, in fact, their प्यार for men is what made them stop hunting humans in the first place. They couldn't भालू to destroy that which they loved so much. While I find this intriguing and almost humorous, it seems to have backfired on me.
Tanya has developed very intense feelings for me. She is a very beautiful vampire, with her स्ट्रॉबेरी, स्ट्राबेरी blonde curls and her full lips. She has a playful personality and is also very loyal and loving. However, I have no ability, nor desire, to प्यार another person- या vampire. I cannot. I do not return her affections, which she has no problem दिखा रहा है me at any time, and I can see that rejection is hurting her feelings.
Even Carlisle is disappointed that I do not find Tanya to be a suitable mate for me. She is an incredible woman, but she is not for me. I am not attracted to her. I am not attracted to anyone- nor have I been in a very long time- I am cold inside, dead. I died becoming a vampire, and I cannot fix that. I feel ashamed that I disappoint Carlisle and Tanya, but I have to be true to myself as well. I must do what is best for myself. So I will drown myself in a little और music, a few और books, buy a couple और cars. There is a घोड़ा Shelby GT that would look nice in my collection.
Tanya will हटाइए on to the अगला good looking thing to walk her direction, she is a succubus after all- she claims she is the original. And we will all be fine. At least she will. I will be here nonetheless. Fine या not. I am starting to wonder about the fine part. I guess time will tell.
