Dear Abby,
द्वारा the time आप read this letter, Luka should be सुरक्षित in America and आप will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before आप go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if आप could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe आप will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, आप know? When I think back on our last साल together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that आप don't.
You're much stronger than आप think. आप don't need me, Abby, and I don't think आप ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point आप convinced yourself that I was the right guy for आप - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what आप really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what आप expected, and आप didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave आप as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were और important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any और kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. आप are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
द्वारा the time आप read this letter, Luka should be सुरक्षित in America and आप will probably be wondering why I'm not with him. Before आप go blaming yourself let me just say, it's not you, it's me - and I know even as I write this that you're going to think that's a breakup cliché, but if आप could just try and hold back your judgment - and your condemnation - for a minute, maybe आप will actually be able to understand what I'm trying to say. Being here has changed me in ways I never imagined. It put everything in perspective. County, Gamma's death, you. Well, me and you. We just had to work so hard at everything. Too hard, आप know? When I think back on our last साल together, everything appears hazy, muddled. And in the Congo, everything is very clear. People are suffering. I can help them. They need me. In a way that आप don't.
You're much stronger than आप think. आप don't need me, Abby, and I don't think आप ever really did. We both know we would work better unfettered. I think that at one point आप convinced yourself that I was the right guy for आप - reliable and safe, and I don't know, stable - but I don't think that that's what आप really want. When we were just friends, it was safe. Maybe we even put each other on pedestals, I don't know. And then when we were finally together, it didn't become what either of us thought it would be. I didn't end up being what आप expected, and आप didn't end up being…sorry, I'm rambling.
I gave आप as much as I could, but it wasn't enough. Clearly, there were a lot of things going on in your life that were और important, understandably. Eric's disease, your mother. Your life is complicated, and I didn't fit into that mix very well, did I? I tried to help, but then when I needed you…I don't know.
The light is dying. I don't want to waste any और kerosene.
I don't know how long I'm going to end up staying here. Don't wait for me.
I also want to say thank you. आप are still one of the most amazing people I know.
Love,
Carter
