Chapter 1:The begaining

It started with the fighting,the endless fighting.It was mid Febuary 2001 when a couple with a small boy and another child on the way,split.They had been aurguing for hours on end and the husband,Jason,decided to leave and live with a friend for a while.While the wife,Sandra,cried and wept to no avail Jason left.Jason had contracted pnemonia and was placed in a hospital only days after his fight with Sandra.Sandra was also in the hospital but for a different reason,she had दिया birth to a girl named Emily.And that was the begaining of Emily's life,a life full of sadness and missery that will come to a halt and be cut short द्वारा the evil hands of fate and the mind.

A silhouette standing alone,
Amongst a field of arid snow,
Waiting for something still unknown,
Not any further from the tombstone.

Awaiting a sign of life and hope,
Letting out a deep sigh,
“It’s not getting any easier to cope”
A whisper carried द्वारा the wind.

The stars: my aspirations,
But city lights in the distance,
Taunted it from their foundations,
Caustic lights ending its existence.

An unattached shadow standing in solitude,
Amongst a field of caustic cold,
Tired of waiting, wanting to end,
I was everything untold.

tell me why do आप pretend
to let the agonizing memories
of your damaged past let आप
be the person that आप are
now,

please let your body,
mind, heart, soul,and
feelings escape the
tragic night-mares and
feel my: "etreindre de'
amour" around आप for-
ever.

my etreindre de' amour
is what i can offer to you,
through this time that you
will feel from me.

will आप feel my ever-
lasting touch of प्यार as
आप grieve over the लॉस्ट
memories and moments
that आप never gotten back.

let me take your
emphasized wounds
and give them to the
crumbling world that
never lets आप feel the
प्यार that आप need to
feel in your life now.

but आप look for my
casual-words that will
give आप strength that
आप need to go on with
your life.

your endless obession
for living this lie trying
to get past this pain, that
will forever remains inside
your soul now.

My anger came that day,
i tried to stay calm through
it all but my emotions just
gave way without me telling
them too.

She saw my frustration
taking shape and took
me in her loving arms
and told me it would be
okay.

I knew that my personal
emotions would show,that
i would pretend not to be
upset, and playing them
off as casual-words and not
the hurtful words as to what
they sounded to me.

I wanted to barricade
myself inside my head
and listen to those supposed
hurtful words that were being
कहा about me,

The thoughts that raced
through my mind were not
the words that i heard coming out
of his mouth that day,

All i can say to आप is
that i accused him of
being wrong and that
was unfair for me to do,

I look out my window the rains pouring down
I can't seem to turn this frown upside down
आप moved far out of town
Now I have no one around

I used to प्यार आप
Sadly आप don't प्यार me too
Pain and agony runs through me
So much आप can see

But not you, आप only look for my happiness
but I'm out and in distress
आप want the green fresh from the press
I just want to be better than the rest

Attention is what I want
But all आप give is a load of taunt
Are आप ready for love
Not really, so I'll get a dove

A dove's the bird of passion and feelings
But आप left me to rot like a banana's peelings
Sweet lover, I miss आप
Do आप miss me too?

Sweet Lover, give me your all
Don't let it fall
Give me a call
I get nothing at all

Sweet love, Goodbye
I will प्यार आप always *sigh*


Signed,

Your Sweet Lover

My दिल is filled with sorrow and pain
आप hurt me for your own gain
But I'm moving on to greater things
No matter how much your words sting


I'll always प्यार आप
But why couldn't आप say I प्यार आप too
Keep moving is what I tell myself
Crying my eyes out all द्वारा myself


I'm gone for good not coming back
Go in the closet my clothes are off the rack
My pain goes with me wherever I go
I wanna go back but my दिल says no


Tell me do miss me
Probably not because your searching for your key
Don't आप miss having me around
If not then but now too late I'm out of town

Sometimes I don't understand
I disconnect my दिल and my head

why
why things happen to the people they happen to
why people hurt other people
why we, he, she got hurt
why आप hurt me the way-
pardon me-the ways आप did
no twelve साल old should be hurt and treated the way I was
no one should be hurt and treated the way I was
and I know I danced around the truth
and I know I covered up your tracks
your lyin', cheatin', abusin' ass

आप hurt me
but, as they say,
pain demands to be felt

Shard of glass
drops the blood
Could have saved me?
No one
Empty promises
washed down the drain
Memories cut deep
harmful even in sleep
I'm always alone
in this broken home
There's to much blood
I'm not safe
in this nightmare.













~Kayla


















What did आप think? Tell me in a टिप्पणी दे या send me a message, please.

My family tells me that
i'm very open minded with
the things that i've written out
inside my journal of poetry.

until आप read the compelling
poems आप will understand
why my journal of कविता
was written the way that it
was,

I don't want people to
look at my journal of
कविता and discriminate
the tranquility of this private
diary has to influence so many
people who tend to read it.

People around me doesnt
seem to understand why i'm
लेखन this journal in the manner
that i am, so they can understand
why my कविता means the way that it
does to me,