Christian Bale

The two things everyone's been talking about lately are Christian Bale's onset freakout and those ubiquitous 25 बिना सोचे समझे Things About Me lists. It got us wondering if maybe Christian Bale himself had made a list, so we hacked into his फेसबुक account. And then we made this fake list.

1) I ad-libbed all of Newsies. It wasn't even supposed to be a musical.

2) My philosophy: It's not who आप are underneath, but how good आप are at staying out of my fucking eye-line that defines you.

3) I लॉस्ट my virginity to Miranda Richardson on the set of Empire of the Sun. In costume. Her costume.

4) If I've...

(BOARD) MEMBER
Is he taking over?

EARLE
Not yet. I checked th trust, and
bruce can't assume control until his
thirtieth birthday.
(presses intercom)
Jessica, where's that coffee?

BOARD MEMBER
But that's in three months.

49.

EARLE
We'll have to हटाइए fast.

BOARD MEMBER 2
To do what?

EARLE
An IPO. There's nothing in Bruce's
trust to stop us taking the company
public... we'll have an offering...

BOARD MEMBER
(getting it)
And Bruce will become just another
board member.

EARLE
Precisely. We can't have some clown
prince running things.
(presses intercom)
Jessica?

No answer. Earle steps to the door and opens it.

His assistant...