"Blake!" I shouted. I ran down the stairs, grabbing my कोट and quickly throwing it on. He came in, holding Tristen and Blakely in his arms.
"Huh?" he asked, completely unconcerned.
"Hollis is being taken to the hospital," I कहा quickly. His eyes widened. "We need to go!" He nodded, and we got the twins in their car seats, and soon were off to the hospital.
"What happened?!" he asked, his voice thick with tension.
"I don't know! Her teacher just called, and कहा she was being taken to the hospital! I didn't really think to ask the details!" I said, panicked. We were nearly speeding, but still we weren't going fast enough. I squeezed my eyes shut, and focused on taking deep breaths. My mind was racing with all these terrible thoughts. Was she still breathing? Was she near death? Had she gotten hit द्वारा a school bus या something?! A tear rolled down my cheek.
Within a half hour, we arrived at the hospital. The receptionist was busy, so we waited with anguish for her to tell us what had happened to our child.
"Ok, thank आप for waiting," she कहा in a calm voice. She had no idea what pain we were in.
"Hi, my daughter's been taken here. Hollis Devlin? Can we see her?" Blake asked. The lady looked through a list, scanning through all the names.
"The doctor needs to talk with आप first. He'll be right out," she said. As if on cue, a man came, who was obviously a doctor.
"Are आप Mr. and Mrs. Devlin?" he asked. We nodded. "Hollis had a grand mal seizure. It lasted almost seven minutes, so she was taken here." I felt like a wrecking ball had just been swung into my head. This couldn't be happening. "We were told she had fallen off the चोटी, शीर्ष of the school playground when she had the seizure. She has a broken कॉलर bone. It should be fixed within about a month. She'll need to stay overnight; she hit her head pretty bad and we want to make sure there's no brain damage." We nodded.
"Can we see her?" Blake asked. I couldn't find my voice to speak. The doctor nodded, and led us to a room. My दिल shattered when I saw her. She looked so tiny and fragile. My mind immediately jumped to Briar, my friend who had been murdered years ago. Like Briar, Hollis appeared so calm, even through this, like she'd been through much worse. She had a गोफन around her right shoulder, with very distinct bruises on her कॉलर bone.
"Hollis?" I whispered, as I took a सीट near her bed. I gently put my hand to her cheek. She stirred a little bit, and slowly her eyes opened. She pouted, and instantly tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Mommy, what happened?" she sobbed. I wanted so bad to hug her, but she was too fragile.
"You had a seizure, honey," I कहा softly. "Do आप know what that is?" She nodded her head a tiny bit, biting her lip.
"That's what आप have," she whispered. I nodded, and gently wiped her tears away, only to have और come. "They're scary..." she cried.
"I know, baby," I breathed.
"Am I going to have more?"
"I don't know; there's really no way to know for sure. We're going to have to wait and see."
"I don't want to, Mommy. I don't like them," she said, her voice trembling. Tears flooded to my eyes, and my nose stung. I couldn't cry in front of her, though. That'd just frighten her more.
"I know, sweetie. You're going to be fine."
"The doctor कहा your shoulder's going to be better in about a month, ok kid?" Blake said, lightly touching her hand. She nodded a tiny bit.
"When can we go home?" she asked. I blinked away my own tears, and stroked her hair.
"You have to stay here tonight, Holly," Blake said. "The doctors need to make sure your head is ok."
"No!" she protested immediately. "I don't want to stay here! I want to go home! I haven't even seen the new house yet!"
"You can see it tomorrow, ok?" I said. "If you're good, आप only have to stay one night."
"Will आप stay with me?"
"I'll stay as long as I can, baby. But I can't overnight." She pouted, but कहा nothing. A couple hours later, Blake left with the twins; he was going to drop them off at his parents' house tonight, and then go घर and get anything Hollis needed for the night. All she asked for was her प्रिय stuffed bear. He kissed her forehead, then left. She looked at me, her eyes seeming to scan me.
"Mommy, why does this happen to us?" she asked.
"What do आप mean?"
"Why do we have see-shurs?" I pursed my lips, then lightly poked her head.
"For me, it's because of chemicals in my brain. I either have too much या too little... and it makes me have seizures. Do आप know what that's called?" She nodded.
"Epi... Epi-pepsi," she कहा confidently. I couldn't help but smirk a little.
"Yes. And because I have it, and you're my baby, आप might have it too..." I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking at the end.
"What about Tristen and Blakely?" Another चाकू through my heart.
"I don't know. They might, they might not." She nodded thoughtfully.
"I hope they don't, Mommy. It's scary and not fun."
"I know it isn't."
***
I stayed with Hollis all day, and a little before रात का खाना time, Blake came with her teddy bear. She smiled when she saw him, and cuddled with it. She rested her head on it, and her eyes drooped. She'd been asking me सवालों all day; I was surprised she'd managed to stay awake. When I have a seizure, I usually just want to take a nap right away.
Soon, visiting hours were up, and we had to leave Hollis at the hospital.
"We'll be here first thing in the morning," I promised. I kissed her goodnight, as did Blake, and then the two of us left for home. The ride was pain stakingly silent. When we got home, the house seemed like it wasn't my own. It seemed so empty without the kids. Blake had cleaned up some of the house, to make it seem और comfortable, but it didn't help.
I started making dinner; I hadn't eaten much all day. Blake cleaned some more, putting और things in their place.
"If आप don't mind me asking," he said, breaking the silence. I didn't look up from the pot boiling on the stove. "What was it like the first time आप had a seizure?" I sighed, reliving that moment.
"I was four. I'd been learning how to ride a bike. Dad let go and I went, then..." I shrugged. His hand fell down lightly on my shoulder. I felt his worried gaze on me, but I tried to ignore it. "Within two months I'd had five seizures; that's when they decided I had epilepsy." Blake कहा nothing else. He probably didn't know what to say. What was there to say?
After dinner, we went to bed. It was late, and it had been a long day. Despite this, and the fact I was dead tired, I couldn't sleep. I sat in bed, reading, trying to see if I'd eventually fall asleep. I felt like there was a huge knot in my stomach.
"She's going to be ok," Blake said, looking at me. I ignored him. "We'll take care of her. Then she'll get used to it, and she'll be fine." I put my book down and looked at him.
"There's no 'getting used to it,' Blake," I said. "It's there, and आप have no idea when something's going to happen. It's terrifying... And it's all my fault she has it in the first place."
"No it's not," he snapped. "Irina, don't आप dare blame yourself for this," he said. But it was too late. I'd कहा it out loud, and there was no avoiding it. It was my fault my little girl was suffering, and it'd might haunt her for the rest of her life. A sob broke out from me, racking through my body. lake held me in his arms at once, and cried to the sound of his दिल beat. "It'll be fine..." he cooed. "I promise."
His hand held me close to his chest, so I couldn't manage to shake my head, and I couldn't speak to protest. I just cried in his arms, thinking about my little girl.
"Huh?" he asked, completely unconcerned.
"Hollis is being taken to the hospital," I कहा quickly. His eyes widened. "We need to go!" He nodded, and we got the twins in their car seats, and soon were off to the hospital.
"What happened?!" he asked, his voice thick with tension.
"I don't know! Her teacher just called, and कहा she was being taken to the hospital! I didn't really think to ask the details!" I said, panicked. We were nearly speeding, but still we weren't going fast enough. I squeezed my eyes shut, and focused on taking deep breaths. My mind was racing with all these terrible thoughts. Was she still breathing? Was she near death? Had she gotten hit द्वारा a school bus या something?! A tear rolled down my cheek.
Within a half hour, we arrived at the hospital. The receptionist was busy, so we waited with anguish for her to tell us what had happened to our child.
"Ok, thank आप for waiting," she कहा in a calm voice. She had no idea what pain we were in.
"Hi, my daughter's been taken here. Hollis Devlin? Can we see her?" Blake asked. The lady looked through a list, scanning through all the names.
"The doctor needs to talk with आप first. He'll be right out," she said. As if on cue, a man came, who was obviously a doctor.
"Are आप Mr. and Mrs. Devlin?" he asked. We nodded. "Hollis had a grand mal seizure. It lasted almost seven minutes, so she was taken here." I felt like a wrecking ball had just been swung into my head. This couldn't be happening. "We were told she had fallen off the चोटी, शीर्ष of the school playground when she had the seizure. She has a broken कॉलर bone. It should be fixed within about a month. She'll need to stay overnight; she hit her head pretty bad and we want to make sure there's no brain damage." We nodded.
"Can we see her?" Blake asked. I couldn't find my voice to speak. The doctor nodded, and led us to a room. My दिल shattered when I saw her. She looked so tiny and fragile. My mind immediately jumped to Briar, my friend who had been murdered years ago. Like Briar, Hollis appeared so calm, even through this, like she'd been through much worse. She had a गोफन around her right shoulder, with very distinct bruises on her कॉलर bone.
"Hollis?" I whispered, as I took a सीट near her bed. I gently put my hand to her cheek. She stirred a little bit, and slowly her eyes opened. She pouted, and instantly tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Mommy, what happened?" she sobbed. I wanted so bad to hug her, but she was too fragile.
"You had a seizure, honey," I कहा softly. "Do आप know what that is?" She nodded her head a tiny bit, biting her lip.
"That's what आप have," she whispered. I nodded, and gently wiped her tears away, only to have और come. "They're scary..." she cried.
"I know, baby," I breathed.
"Am I going to have more?"
"I don't know; there's really no way to know for sure. We're going to have to wait and see."
"I don't want to, Mommy. I don't like them," she said, her voice trembling. Tears flooded to my eyes, and my nose stung. I couldn't cry in front of her, though. That'd just frighten her more.
"I know, sweetie. You're going to be fine."
"The doctor कहा your shoulder's going to be better in about a month, ok kid?" Blake said, lightly touching her hand. She nodded a tiny bit.
"When can we go home?" she asked. I blinked away my own tears, and stroked her hair.
"You have to stay here tonight, Holly," Blake said. "The doctors need to make sure your head is ok."
"No!" she protested immediately. "I don't want to stay here! I want to go home! I haven't even seen the new house yet!"
"You can see it tomorrow, ok?" I said. "If you're good, आप only have to stay one night."
"Will आप stay with me?"
"I'll stay as long as I can, baby. But I can't overnight." She pouted, but कहा nothing. A couple hours later, Blake left with the twins; he was going to drop them off at his parents' house tonight, and then go घर and get anything Hollis needed for the night. All she asked for was her प्रिय stuffed bear. He kissed her forehead, then left. She looked at me, her eyes seeming to scan me.
"Mommy, why does this happen to us?" she asked.
"What do आप mean?"
"Why do we have see-shurs?" I pursed my lips, then lightly poked her head.
"For me, it's because of chemicals in my brain. I either have too much या too little... and it makes me have seizures. Do आप know what that's called?" She nodded.
"Epi... Epi-pepsi," she कहा confidently. I couldn't help but smirk a little.
"Yes. And because I have it, and you're my baby, आप might have it too..." I said, trying to keep my voice from cracking at the end.
"What about Tristen and Blakely?" Another चाकू through my heart.
"I don't know. They might, they might not." She nodded thoughtfully.
"I hope they don't, Mommy. It's scary and not fun."
"I know it isn't."
***
I stayed with Hollis all day, and a little before रात का खाना time, Blake came with her teddy bear. She smiled when she saw him, and cuddled with it. She rested her head on it, and her eyes drooped. She'd been asking me सवालों all day; I was surprised she'd managed to stay awake. When I have a seizure, I usually just want to take a nap right away.
Soon, visiting hours were up, and we had to leave Hollis at the hospital.
"We'll be here first thing in the morning," I promised. I kissed her goodnight, as did Blake, and then the two of us left for home. The ride was pain stakingly silent. When we got home, the house seemed like it wasn't my own. It seemed so empty without the kids. Blake had cleaned up some of the house, to make it seem और comfortable, but it didn't help.
I started making dinner; I hadn't eaten much all day. Blake cleaned some more, putting और things in their place.
"If आप don't mind me asking," he said, breaking the silence. I didn't look up from the pot boiling on the stove. "What was it like the first time आप had a seizure?" I sighed, reliving that moment.
"I was four. I'd been learning how to ride a bike. Dad let go and I went, then..." I shrugged. His hand fell down lightly on my shoulder. I felt his worried gaze on me, but I tried to ignore it. "Within two months I'd had five seizures; that's when they decided I had epilepsy." Blake कहा nothing else. He probably didn't know what to say. What was there to say?
After dinner, we went to bed. It was late, and it had been a long day. Despite this, and the fact I was dead tired, I couldn't sleep. I sat in bed, reading, trying to see if I'd eventually fall asleep. I felt like there was a huge knot in my stomach.
"She's going to be ok," Blake said, looking at me. I ignored him. "We'll take care of her. Then she'll get used to it, and she'll be fine." I put my book down and looked at him.
"There's no 'getting used to it,' Blake," I said. "It's there, and आप have no idea when something's going to happen. It's terrifying... And it's all my fault she has it in the first place."
"No it's not," he snapped. "Irina, don't आप dare blame yourself for this," he said. But it was too late. I'd कहा it out loud, and there was no avoiding it. It was my fault my little girl was suffering, and it'd might haunt her for the rest of her life. A sob broke out from me, racking through my body. lake held me in his arms at once, and cried to the sound of his दिल beat. "It'll be fine..." he cooed. "I promise."
His hand held me close to his chest, so I couldn't manage to shake my head, and I couldn't speak to protest. I just cried in his arms, thinking about my little girl.
such a waste, my life whole life is a fake!...but im sure ive been a thorn inside of you...that's torn at आप for years. but, sometimes i can taste how कड़वा i've become...& its और then i can bare. sometimes i pray for someone to blow me away. just make it quick, but let it burn...so i can feel the pain thats torn at me for years. i can't be held responsable, 'cause this is all so new to me. can i...leave my pain behind?
the sercomstances of one's birth are irrelavent. its what आप DO with the gift of life, that determends who आप are. the pain आप feel...its normal. let it go.
आप think?
yes. आप need to forgive and forget.
i can't...
आप can.
but i can't just do nothing...
it's not nothing!
i cant just...forget.
it's hard to forgive, and its hard to forget, but it's easy to do nothing...
you're right...
the sercomstances of one's birth are irrelavent. its what आप DO with the gift of life, that determends who आप are. the pain आप feel...its normal. let it go.
आप think?
yes. आप need to forgive and forget.
i can't...
आप can.
but i can't just do nothing...
it's not nothing!
i cant just...forget.
it's hard to forgive, and its hard to forget, but it's easy to do nothing...
you're right...
I do not own this. I did not write it, and I do not know the author. I just really like this and wanted to share it.
Who will आप be
when faced with the end;
the end of a kingdom,
the end of good men.
Will आप run?
Will आप hide?
या will आप hunt down evil
with a venomous pride?
Rise to the ashes,
rise to the winter sky,
rise to the calling,
make heard the battle cry.
Let it scream from the mountains
From the forest to the chapel.
Because death is a hungry mouth
and आप are the apple.
So who will आप be
when faced with the end?
When the vultures are circling
and the shadows descend.
Will आप cower,
या will आप fight?
Is your दिल made of glass?
या a pure snow white?
Who will आप be
when faced with the end;
the end of a kingdom,
the end of good men.
Will आप run?
Will आप hide?
या will आप hunt down evil
with a venomous pride?
Rise to the ashes,
rise to the winter sky,
rise to the calling,
make heard the battle cry.
Let it scream from the mountains
From the forest to the chapel.
Because death is a hungry mouth
and आप are the apple.
So who will आप be
when faced with the end?
When the vultures are circling
and the shadows descend.
Will आप cower,
या will आप fight?
Is your दिल made of glass?
या a pure snow white?
tell me why i miss you
why did i have feelings for you?
i wish i could answer these सवालों on my own,
but i cant.
honestly, they only thing that i want right now is you.
i dont know why i still miss you,
i dont understand why i really want another chance
what i really dont get is why आप wont let me दिखाना आप that ive changed
back then i didnt know any better
after going on intercession, ive grown alot
in all honesty, yesterday really made me think about things
it opened my eyes, and changed the way i felt.
i didn't really know you,
i wanted to get away,
now, i realize i was wrong, and im sorry.
i hate that we dont talk anymore
i wish we still do.
i hope आप read this,
and forgive me, so we can start over again.
Hi, my name is Hikaru.
What's yours :)
why did i have feelings for you?
i wish i could answer these सवालों on my own,
but i cant.
honestly, they only thing that i want right now is you.
i dont know why i still miss you,
i dont understand why i really want another chance
what i really dont get is why आप wont let me दिखाना आप that ive changed
back then i didnt know any better
after going on intercession, ive grown alot
in all honesty, yesterday really made me think about things
it opened my eyes, and changed the way i felt.
i didn't really know you,
i wanted to get away,
now, i realize i was wrong, and im sorry.
i hate that we dont talk anymore
i wish we still do.
i hope आप read this,
and forgive me, so we can start over again.
Hi, my name is Hikaru.
What's yours :)